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(Seattle Times)   Man wakes up in Seattle park with $600 in his sock. Fark: He has no idea who he is or how he got there   (seattletimes.nwsource.com) divider line 79
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10476 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Aug 2009 at 7:33 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-08-20 04:17:32 AM
There's a man in Paris named Jason Bourne he should go find.
 
2009-08-20 04:40:52 AM
Shoot... a feller could have a pretty good time in Vegas with all that stuff!
 
2009-08-20 04:43:03 AM
Too bad this didn't happen to him in Paris. He's going to have crazy expensive medical bills.
 
2009-08-20 04:48:55 AM
brainiac-dumdum: Too bad this didn't happen to him in Paris. He's going to have we're going to have to pay for his crazy expensive medical bills.

FTFY.
 
2009-08-20 05:07:30 AM
Was it... this guy?

www.teachersparadise.com
 
2009-08-20 05:50:37 AM
the_be_sharps: Too bad this didn't happen to him in Paris. He's going to have we're going to have to pay for his crazy expensive medical bills.

I have never paid for anybody's medical bills but my own with the exception of taxes that pay for things like VA hospitals and Medicare/Medicaid.
 
2009-08-20 06:06:28 AM
ambassador_ahab: the_be_sharps: Too bad this didn't happen to him in Paris. He's going to have we're going to have to pay for his crazy expensive medical bills.

I have never paid for anybody's medical bills but my own with the exception of taxes that pay for things like VA hospitals and Medicare/Medicaid.


Sure you have!

The hospitals that must give care to people even without insurance, and can't collect from these people because they're broke.... So they simply jack up the prices to everyone else and charge everyone else more to cover the costs of treating the uninsured.

Happens every day.
 
2009-08-20 06:32:24 AM
Something tells me he has a semen aftertaste in his mouth and or a sore bum.
 
2009-08-20 07:03:18 AM
This better not be some lame viral marketing stunt.
 
2009-08-20 07:10:35 AM
That's probably a good defense mechanism to keep the events of last night from ever coming back.
 
2009-08-20 07:32:27 AM
Perhaps he got the amnesia from his...

seattletimes.nwsource.com

...DIABEETUS?
 
2009-08-20 07:36:25 AM
lilplatinum: Something tells me he has a semen aftertaste in his mouth and or a sore bum.

He was found in DISCOVERY Park, not VOLUNTEER Park!

I mean...Wait, what??
 
2009-08-20 07:39:26 AM
Better take pictures and write stuff down bub....
movies.yahoo.com
 
2009-08-20 07:39:41 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

I know how you feel. Watch out for knives
 
2009-08-20 07:39:54 AM
Nowhereman: There's a man in Paris named Jason Bourne he should go find.

First thing I thought of too!
 
2009-08-20 07:42:11 AM
This is what I call Saturday and Sunday morning.
 
2009-08-20 07:45:26 AM
Mortimer, we're back!
 
2009-08-20 07:47:19 AM
He's an ex-employee of the owner of the internet, Henry van Statten

www.bbc.co.uk

"Wipe his memory and dump him in Sacramento, Seattle, San Francisco... some place that starts with an 'S'"
 
2009-08-20 07:47:26 AM
Sometimes I wake up with crunchy socks with no idea how it... oh, wait.
 
2009-08-20 07:50:08 AM
Bet he had a ribbon around his penis too.

/obscure?
 
2009-08-20 07:51:52 AM
chuck4455: Bet he had a ribbon around his penis too.

/obscure?


NBot even close

Ambien is a hell of a drug
 
2009-08-20 07:52:14 AM
chuck4455: Bet he had a ribbon around his penis too.

/obscure?


He must be glad that he won first prize.

l.yimg.com

/been there, done that
 
2009-08-20 07:52:52 AM
You can go sleep at home tonight if you can get up and walk away
 
2009-08-20 07:54:52 AM
Was there KY Jelly residue on his taint?
 
2009-08-20 07:55:28 AM
Maybe I'm cynical, but the 'victim' in these cases always turns out to be
a disgusting criminal bigamist faking their 'illness' to avoid getting tossed
into PMITA prison.

I have no reason to believe this will turn out any different.
 
2009-08-20 07:56:13 AM
woke up this mornin, with some cash stuffed in my sock.
whose cash, what cash, where the hell did I crash?

/best I could come up with *shrug*
 
2009-08-20 07:58:07 AM
twotowner: woke up this mornin, with some cash stuffed in my sock.
whose cash, what cash, where the hell did I crash?

/best I could come up with *shrug*


Do you, you... feel like I do?
 
2009-08-20 07:58:26 AM
img2.timeinc.net

FTFA: The blond-haired man with the walrus mustache wandered out of Seattle's Discovery Park three weeks ago,

You can stop looking, and the moose wants his $600 back.
Don't cross the moose, or you'll get the ping pongs man.
 
2009-08-20 07:59:21 AM
Spooge McDuck:

I was just going to ask if he could only see in black and white.
 
2009-08-20 08:03:08 AM
HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSON.

/burial expenses, after all
 
2009-08-20 08:09:28 AM
Harry Freakstorm: I know how you feel. Watch out for knives

Is that Kaspar Hauser? Never seen a picture of him.
 
2009-08-20 08:16:03 AM
Where is my beautiful house? Where is my beautiful wife?
 
2009-08-20 08:26:37 AM
www.ekd.com

Quick! Save the future!
 
2009-08-20 08:28:52 AM
This was a TV show a couple of years ago.

Link (new window)
 
2009-08-20 08:32:24 AM
Xanadian: That did NOT help the hernia surgery I had 2 days ago! I should've known that would happen if I went into Fark comment threads.

/ouch :(
//but haha
///now more ouch :(
 
2009-08-20 08:39:26 AM
Was it a poopsock?
 
2009-08-20 08:43:35 AM
He had no wallet, passport or day planner.

Seriously? Is this article from 1992?
 
2009-08-20 08:51:41 AM
The fact that nobody knows what his story is won't stop him from selling the movie RIGHTS to his story, whatever it may turn out to be.

www.mtv.com
And Tom Hanks will play him.
 
2009-08-20 08:55:28 AM
"Hey, waitaminute, I didn't have that little scar above my kidney before."
 
2009-08-20 08:58:35 AM
If 1970s television has taught me anything, it's that his condition can be cured by striking him violently in the head with a frying pan. That's likely what caused his amnesia in the first place.
 
2009-08-20 09:05:23 AM
ebell: If 1970s television has taught me anything, it's that his condition can be cured by striking him violently in the head with a frying pan. That's likely what caused his amnesia in the first place.

remind me not to enroll in your HMO.:)
 
2009-08-20 09:10:54 AM
idrow: Mortimer, we're back!

Awesome.
 
2009-08-20 09:13:19 AM
chuck4455: Bet he had a ribbon around his penis too.

/obscure?


He doesn't look particularly Scottish.
 
2009-08-20 09:18:35 AM
Bullshiat.
 
2009-08-20 09:20:45 AM
It's Edward Lightheart. According to a poster on the Seattle Times site, he lived in Shanghai in 2005. After googling his name, I found this letter posted by Mr. Lightheart, which explains his ties to Vienna & China.

Teaching in China - Teachers Discussion
By:E. Lighthart
Date: 2 July 2006
As a public relations consultant and English instructor in China, I aware that a vaiety of experiences -- good as well as bad -- exist as part of teachin in China. I am currently researching experiences of forein expats -- native English as well as other mother languages -- for an article on teaching and living in China.

If you have an experience -- or experiences -- that you would like to share, please send me an account citing your name, institution, postion held, and the events that occured while you were empoloyed as well as during your job search.

All information will be held in confidence.

Please reply via email (of­fice[nospam-﹫-backwards]hb­mglf­e*c­o­m).

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Edward Lighthart, BA, AM, PhD
President and Managing Director
EF Lighthart, GmbH
9/17 Mostgasse
A-1040 VIENNA
Austria
 
2009-08-20 09:24:03 AM
This guy should get on fark and check about 5 links down from this one.
 
2009-08-20 09:25:57 AM
sportcity444: teachin in China. I am currently researching experiences of forein expats

Teachin? Forein? This guy is an English professor?
 
2009-08-20 09:27:42 AM
Nowhereman: There's a man in Paris named Jason Bourne he should go find.

Whoop - there's a CD I haven't queued up on the lab music server in a while. Ok everyone - here comes "Extreme Ways"...
 
2009-08-20 09:32:27 AM
And there was this one phrase that kept going through his mind...it made no sense but there it was, over and over. Blue...Coronet...what could it mean? Coronet...Coronet Blue. Coronet Blue. Blue Coronet. It meant something.
 
2009-08-20 09:33:14 AM
images.mefeedia.com /hot

Jason Borne references? Meh. Skipper. (pops, vid starts right away)
 
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