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(JournalStar)   14-year-old boy causes $6.5K in damages to neighborhood cars. Fark: Because his grandma wouldn't give him a cigarette   (journalstar.com ) divider line
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10005 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2009 at 6:58 AM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-08-17 09:05:18 PM  
14-year-old boy causes $6.5K in damages to neighborhood cars. Fark: Because his grandma wouldn't give him a cigarettethe spankings he so desperately needed on a daily basis for the past decade


FTFY
 
2009-08-17 09:06:34 PM  
You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps, Larry?
 
2009-08-17 09:21:21 PM  
that's some fine grandparenting there
 
2009-08-17 09:30:06 PM  
Why abbreviate $6500 to $6.5K? To save one keystroke?
 
2009-08-17 09:51:04 PM  
It's safe to say that the kid is beyond help.
 
2009-08-17 10:15:26 PM  
It was the nicotine withdrawl.
 
2009-08-17 11:11:03 PM  

House of Tards: It was the nicotine withdrawl.


I hate it when I go on a psychotic rampage over a nicotine fit.
 
2009-08-17 11:26:40 PM  

toddalmighty: Why abbreviate $6500 to $6.5K? To save one keystroke?


I don't think so.
 
2009-08-18 12:58:23 AM  
lock up the little sociopath and throw away the key. Oh, and somebody should set that kid straight, too.
 
2009-08-18 01:13:16 AM  
Nobody has thought to ask where Mom was in all of this?

Was Gramma babysitting while Mom was out picking up potential fark trophy donors at Dino's Bar & Grill?
 
2009-08-18 03:41:19 AM  
Yep, there are more little shiats out there like this than you know.
And you can beat the hell out of them all you want, it only would make them worse.
 
2009-08-18 07:00:01 AM  

Your Faith is Creepy: lock up the little sociopath and throw away the key. Oh, and somebody should set that kid straight, too.


Wait until he finds out what he has to do for a smoke in Juvie!
 
2009-08-18 07:04:49 AM  
Lucky he didn't want a Pepsi.
 
2009-08-18 07:09:45 AM  
This kind of happening is only a real problem in places where beating children has been made contrary to law. Where I am from you might get one or two idiots do this thing but they would be punished with beating/whipping. It is not the answer to every problem bu when it comes to children/young adults then it can be very effective way of preventing low level anti society crimes. Sure you can paint on the walls and spit on old people....but you get caught and you dont sit right for a week and you never do it again.
 
2009-08-18 07:10:37 AM  
These days you have to prepare your grandkids for smoking. Here's a relevant bit from book Pop-splat. Enjoy!

Trudy's feelings were only slightly injured when Matt said he wanted to be a boarder when he started high school at the end of the holidays. It was perfectly normal for a boy without siblings to want the comradeship of his schoolfellows. Over a G & T or two she thought about it and her maternal instinct was momentarily stirred to life. How could she help to protect him from the dangers that lurked in that pitiless environment? If he were unfortunate enough to be branded a sissy, a wimp, a suction or a traitor, the boys, the masters, the very system itself would conspire to destroy him.
Late one morning she threw a little cocktail party for half a dozen mothers whose sons had survived the first year or more. Drinkies were served out on the patio and there was an abundance of snacks, both sweet and savoury. In a convivial atmosphere the ladies put their heads together and produced some practical ideas and sound advice.
Trudy was mildly shocked at what they told her - clearly circumstances had changed radically since she had been at school - but she quickly resolved to follow their counsel. A training programme for the boy was drawn up there and then.
In the afternoon she went off to make some purchases. There was plenty of booze in the house - that was no problem. But she didn't smoke anymore and neither did Claude. At Pick 'n Pay she bought several packets of cigarettes of the stronger kind like Gauloise and Camel.
At dinner that evening, with her at one end of the big table and he at the other, she told him what she had in store for him over the next few weeks.
"You see, darling," she said, "it's most important not to appear weak in any way."
"Like how?" Matt wanted to know.
"Well, for example, they'll offer you a cigarette and closely watch your response. If you refuse, or start coughing and spluttering, or don't know how to inhale, you'll be an object of ridicule. I'm afraid they'll see it as a chink in your armour, my dear. Then they'll look for other ways to test you and before you know it you'll be a laughing stock and fair game for the bullies."
Matt had stopped eating and was looking anxious.
"But don't you worry, my darling," she went on. "We're going to give you lots of training over the next month. And it's not that complicated, really. You've just got to be able to smoke, hold your liquor, and do drugs. Also you must know about sex."
So, at the age of 13 he was given a crash course designed to equip him for the first stage of his steep journey through adolescence to manhood.
He learnt how to talk with a cigarette in the corner of his mouth, the smoke drifting into his screwed-up, smarting eyes. He inhaled deeply and held his breath despite the searing pain in his throat and the fire in his lungs. And gradually he became accustomed to the beneficial side-effects of the nicotine.
Soon after eleven every morning he would open his first beer. Most nights he went to bed drunk and woke feeling terrible. In the first two weeks he did a lot of vomiting. Beer, wine, whisky, brandy, gin, vodka, rum - anything and everything. She showed him how to down Tequilas. He developed tolerance and judgement, and by the end of the third week his hangover was little more than a headache.

If you like what you've read, check out more at Link (new window).
 
2009-08-18 07:18:08 AM  

Ian Martin: Words.


Cool story bro!
 
2009-08-18 07:22:58 AM  
And they say beatings and jobs aren't good for kids.
 
2009-08-18 07:34:49 AM  
F*CK YOU, GRANNY
 
2009-08-18 07:43:04 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

/likes the hoodrat things.
 
2009-08-18 07:47:24 AM  

billyboyxoxox: And they say beatings and jobs aren't good for kids.


They're wrong - WRONG I tells ya!
 
2009-08-18 07:48:01 AM  

toddalmighty: Why abbreviate $6500 to $6.5K? To save one keystroke?


Not even.
$6500 (6 keystrokes with the shift)
$6.5K (7 keystrokes with two shifts)

/doesn't matter that much
//but I had to make a point
 
2009-08-18 07:51:57 AM  

JerseyTim: You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps, Larry?


+1
Edited Big Lebowski ftw. Nice job.
 
2009-08-18 08:00:24 AM  
Some dude in my hometown cut all four tires on 76! cars in one night. 304 tires. What an asshat.
 
2009-08-18 08:05:14 AM  
s91930171.onlinehome.us
/approves
 
2009-08-18 08:15:49 AM  
Well? Did he get his cigarette?
 
2009-08-18 08:21:52 AM  
Kids that old are capable of risk-award analysis(if informal and flawed).

I'd present the kid the bill, then make him work until he's paid it off.

Preferably something that's hard labor, but paid piece-meal such that the harder he works, the faster he gets it paid off.

Until it's paid off - no TV, no computer, no games, no cigarettes, alcohol, nothing.

If he's not working to pay it off, he's not learning his lesson.
 
2009-08-18 08:29:00 AM  
Wait -- isn't this where we blame his teachers? I think that's how it goes.
 
2009-08-18 08:34:18 AM  
He has a bright future, not just destroy him now.
 
2009-08-18 08:34:24 AM  

cretinbob: Yep, there are more little shiats out there like this than you know.
And you can beat the hell out of them all you want, it only would make them worse.


Not if you use the sharp side of an ax.
 
2009-08-18 08:36:35 AM  
Never to early, those Marlboro men are not going to raise themselves

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-08-18 09:01:12 AM  
siamfoundation.org

There's nothing wrong with giving this kid a cigarette, his last.

/hot, like forgetting to wet the sponge
 
2009-08-18 09:01:17 AM  

Doctor Jan Itor: Lucky he didn't want a Pepsi.


All he wanted was a cigarette! Just one cigarette! And she wouldn't give it to him!
 
2009-08-18 09:03:20 AM  
so he damaged the side panel on one car?
 
2009-08-18 09:06:48 AM  
farm2.static.flickr.com
 
2009-08-18 09:10:33 AM  
img219.imageshack.us
 
2009-08-18 09:23:10 AM  
Okay, now it's time to give the kid a whole pack of cigarettes, and force him to chain smoke the whole thing. Seriously. Don't let him stop until he finishes #20 or he passes out.

He'll never want another cigarette again.
 
2009-08-18 09:23:17 AM  
Yay! My hometown!

16th & Sumner isn't the worst neighborhood in town by quite a stretch. Glad I don't live near there anymore if that kid is going to be taking paver blocks and striking cars with them.

You don't spank 14 year olds (except with a board with nails in it), but the payoff/labor punishment is cromulent.

Personally I think he was just looking for a way to get out of school, as LPS begins classes tomorrow.
 
2009-08-18 09:26:42 AM  
Well, at least he didn't physically harm anybody. What have we learned here, people? If a kid asks you for a cigarette just GIVE 'EM ONE. Shesh.
 
2009-08-18 09:50:12 AM  
Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.
 
2009-08-18 09:51:03 AM  
Oops. Double post is thanks to my stupid browser crashing and me thinking that the first one didn't make it.
 
2009-08-18 09:56:33 AM  

wage0048: Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.


My sis had a friend whose mom caught her smoking (when the friend was 10) and made her EAT a half-pack of smokes. They had to get her stomach pumped but she became a non-smoker. I thought that was way too extreme.
 
2009-08-18 10:01:03 AM  

Norad: Nobody has thought to ask where Mom was in all of this?

Was Gramma babysitting while Mom was out picking up potential fark trophy donors at Dino's Bar & Grill?


Naaa she was either at the Point After or Bryan LGH west having a rest
 
2009-08-18 10:11:49 AM  

wage0048: Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.


img38.imageshack.us

"I'm down with that".
 
2009-08-18 10:25:09 AM  

toddalmighty: Why abbreviate $6500 to $6.5K? To save one keystroke?


It was actually $6,656, so "$6.5K" framed it better.
 
2009-08-18 10:30:03 AM  
I tried posting this article, told me it was already greenlit. Congrats subby!
 
2009-08-18 10:34:59 AM  

wage0048: Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.



I did that with my kid when I caught him drinking. Made him finish the entire fifth of vodka. He died from alcohol poisoning, but so far it's kept my other two from drinking.
 
2009-08-18 10:44:18 AM  
"Saturday night to the 1600 block"

/as far as I read
//Obama destroys cars
 
2009-08-18 10:45:48 AM  

Zeiss_Ikon: 14-year-old boy causes $6.5K in damages to neighborhood cars. Fark: Because his grandma wouldn't give him a cigarettethe spankings he so desperately needed on a daily basis for the past decade

FTFY


WIN !!
 
2009-08-18 10:52:15 AM  

Norad: Nobody has thought to ask where Mom was in all of this?

Was Gramma babysitting while Mom was out picking up potential fark trophy donors at Dino's Bar & Grill?


Or she could be dead. Or at work. Not every mom can be on welfare so she can watch her kid 24/7. I'm sure your mom did wonders with you and you NEVER got into any trouble. One question... has she cut the umbilical cord yet or are you still connected to her rotting placenta?
 
Ant
2009-08-18 10:52:36 AM  

CaptainSmirk: /approves


WTF? Please tell me that's a 'shop
 
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