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(JournalStar)   14-year-old boy causes $6.5K in damages to neighborhood cars. Fark: Because his grandma wouldn't give him a cigarette   (journalstar.com) divider line 90
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9997 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2009 at 6:58 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-08-17 09:05:18 PM
14-year-old boy causes $6.5K in damages to neighborhood cars. Fark: Because his grandma wouldn't give him a cigarettethe spankings he so desperately needed on a daily basis for the past decade


FTFY
 
2009-08-17 09:06:34 PM
You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps, Larry?
 
2009-08-17 09:21:21 PM
that's some fine grandparenting there
 
2009-08-17 09:30:06 PM
Why abbreviate $6500 to $6.5K? To save one keystroke?
 
2009-08-17 09:51:04 PM
It's safe to say that the kid is beyond help.
 
2009-08-17 10:15:26 PM
It was the nicotine withdrawl.
 
2009-08-17 11:11:03 PM
House of Tards: It was the nicotine withdrawl.

I hate it when I go on a psychotic rampage over a nicotine fit.
 
2009-08-17 11:26:40 PM
toddalmighty: Why abbreviate $6500 to $6.5K? To save one keystroke?

I don't think so.
 
2009-08-18 12:58:23 AM
lock up the little sociopath and throw away the key. Oh, and somebody should set that kid straight, too.
 
2009-08-18 01:13:16 AM
Nobody has thought to ask where Mom was in all of this?

Was Gramma babysitting while Mom was out picking up potential fark trophy donors at Dino's Bar & Grill?
 
2009-08-18 03:41:19 AM
Yep, there are more little shiats out there like this than you know.
And you can beat the hell out of them all you want, it only would make them worse.
 
2009-08-18 07:00:01 AM
Your Faith is Creepy: lock up the little sociopath and throw away the key. Oh, and somebody should set that kid straight, too.

Wait until he finds out what he has to do for a smoke in Juvie!
 
2009-08-18 07:04:49 AM
Lucky he didn't want a Pepsi.
 
2009-08-18 07:09:45 AM
This kind of happening is only a real problem in places where beating children has been made contrary to law. Where I am from you might get one or two idiots do this thing but they would be punished with beating/whipping. It is not the answer to every problem bu when it comes to children/young adults then it can be very effective way of preventing low level anti society crimes. Sure you can paint on the walls and spit on old people....but you get caught and you dont sit right for a week and you never do it again.
 
2009-08-18 07:10:37 AM
These days you have to prepare your grandkids for smoking. Here's a relevant bit from book Pop-splat. Enjoy!

Trudy's feelings were only slightly injured when Matt said he wanted to be a boarder when he started high school at the end of the holidays. It was perfectly normal for a boy without siblings to want the comradeship of his schoolfellows. Over a G & T or two she thought about it and her maternal instinct was momentarily stirred to life. How could she help to protect him from the dangers that lurked in that pitiless environment? If he were unfortunate enough to be branded a sissy, a wimp, a suction or a traitor, the boys, the masters, the very system itself would conspire to destroy him.
Late one morning she threw a little cocktail party for half a dozen mothers whose sons had survived the first year or more. Drinkies were served out on the patio and there was an abundance of snacks, both sweet and savoury. In a convivial atmosphere the ladies put their heads together and produced some practical ideas and sound advice.
Trudy was mildly shocked at what they told her - clearly circumstances had changed radically since she had been at school - but she quickly resolved to follow their counsel. A training programme for the boy was drawn up there and then.
In the afternoon she went off to make some purchases. There was plenty of booze in the house - that was no problem. But she didn't smoke anymore and neither did Claude. At Pick 'n Pay she bought several packets of cigarettes of the stronger kind like Gauloise and Camel.
At dinner that evening, with her at one end of the big table and he at the other, she told him what she had in store for him over the next few weeks.
"You see, darling," she said, "it's most important not to appear weak in any way."
"Like how?" Matt wanted to know.
"Well, for example, they'll offer you a cigarette and closely watch your response. If you refuse, or start coughing and spluttering, or don't know how to inhale, you'll be an object of ridicule. I'm afraid they'll see it as a chink in your armour, my dear. Then they'll look for other ways to test you and before you know it you'll be a laughing stock and fair game for the bullies."
Matt had stopped eating and was looking anxious.
"But don't you worry, my darling," she went on. "We're going to give you lots of training over the next month. And it's not that complicated, really. You've just got to be able to smoke, hold your liquor, and do drugs. Also you must know about sex."
So, at the age of 13 he was given a crash course designed to equip him for the first stage of his steep journey through adolescence to manhood.
He learnt how to talk with a cigarette in the corner of his mouth, the smoke drifting into his screwed-up, smarting eyes. He inhaled deeply and held his breath despite the searing pain in his throat and the fire in his lungs. And gradually he became accustomed to the beneficial side-effects of the nicotine.
Soon after eleven every morning he would open his first beer. Most nights he went to bed drunk and woke feeling terrible. In the first two weeks he did a lot of vomiting. Beer, wine, whisky, brandy, gin, vodka, rum - anything and everything. She showed him how to down Tequilas. He developed tolerance and judgement, and by the end of the third week his hangover was little more than a headache.

If you like what you've read, check out more at Link (new window).
 
2009-08-18 07:18:08 AM
Ian Martin: Words.

Cool story bro!
 
2009-08-18 07:22:58 AM
And they say beatings and jobs aren't good for kids.
 
2009-08-18 07:34:49 AM
F*CK YOU, GRANNY
 
2009-08-18 07:43:04 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com

/likes the hoodrat things.
 
2009-08-18 07:47:24 AM
billyboyxoxox: And they say beatings and jobs aren't good for kids.

They're wrong - WRONG I tells ya!
 
2009-08-18 07:48:01 AM
toddalmighty: Why abbreviate $6500 to $6.5K? To save one keystroke?

Not even.
$6500 (6 keystrokes with the shift)
$6.5K (7 keystrokes with two shifts)

/doesn't matter that much
//but I had to make a point
 
2009-08-18 07:51:57 AM
JerseyTim: You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps, Larry?

+1
Edited Big Lebowski ftw. Nice job.
 
2009-08-18 08:00:24 AM
Some dude in my hometown cut all four tires on 76! cars in one night. 304 tires. What an asshat.
 
2009-08-18 08:05:14 AM
s91930171.onlinehome.us
/approves
 
2009-08-18 08:15:49 AM
Well? Did he get his cigarette?
 
2009-08-18 08:21:52 AM
Kids that old are capable of risk-award analysis(if informal and flawed).

I'd present the kid the bill, then make him work until he's paid it off.

Preferably something that's hard labor, but paid piece-meal such that the harder he works, the faster he gets it paid off.

Until it's paid off - no TV, no computer, no games, no cigarettes, alcohol, nothing.

If he's not working to pay it off, he's not learning his lesson.
 
2009-08-18 08:29:00 AM
Wait -- isn't this where we blame his teachers? I think that's how it goes.
 
2009-08-18 08:34:18 AM
He has a bright future, not just destroy him now.
 
2009-08-18 08:34:24 AM
cretinbob: Yep, there are more little shiats out there like this than you know.
And you can beat the hell out of them all you want, it only would make them worse.


Not if you use the sharp side of an ax.
 
2009-08-18 08:36:35 AM
Never to early, those Marlboro men are not going to raise themselves

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-08-18 09:01:12 AM
siamfoundation.org

There's nothing wrong with giving this kid a cigarette, his last.

/hot, like forgetting to wet the sponge
 
2009-08-18 09:01:17 AM
Doctor Jan Itor: Lucky he didn't want a Pepsi.

All he wanted was a cigarette! Just one cigarette! And she wouldn't give it to him!
 
2009-08-18 09:03:20 AM
so he damaged the side panel on one car?
 
2009-08-18 09:06:48 AM
farm2.static.flickr.com
 
2009-08-18 09:10:33 AM
img219.imageshack.us
 
2009-08-18 09:23:10 AM
Okay, now it's time to give the kid a whole pack of cigarettes, and force him to chain smoke the whole thing. Seriously. Don't let him stop until he finishes #20 or he passes out.

He'll never want another cigarette again.
 
2009-08-18 09:23:17 AM
Yay! My hometown!

16th & Sumner isn't the worst neighborhood in town by quite a stretch. Glad I don't live near there anymore if that kid is going to be taking paver blocks and striking cars with them.

You don't spank 14 year olds (except with a board with nails in it), but the payoff/labor punishment is cromulent.

Personally I think he was just looking for a way to get out of school, as LPS begins classes tomorrow.
 
2009-08-18 09:26:42 AM
Well, at least he didn't physically harm anybody. What have we learned here, people? If a kid asks you for a cigarette just GIVE 'EM ONE. Shesh.
 
2009-08-18 09:50:12 AM
Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.
 
2009-08-18 09:51:03 AM
Oops. Double post is thanks to my stupid browser crashing and me thinking that the first one didn't make it.
 
2009-08-18 09:56:33 AM
wage0048: Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.


My sis had a friend whose mom caught her smoking (when the friend was 10) and made her EAT a half-pack of smokes. They had to get her stomach pumped but she became a non-smoker. I thought that was way too extreme.
 
2009-08-18 10:01:03 AM
Norad: Nobody has thought to ask where Mom was in all of this?

Was Gramma babysitting while Mom was out picking up potential fark trophy donors at Dino's Bar & Grill?


Naaa she was either at the Point After or Bryan LGH west having a rest
 
2009-08-18 10:11:49 AM
wage0048: Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.


img38.imageshack.us

"I'm down with that".
 
2009-08-18 10:25:09 AM
toddalmighty: Why abbreviate $6500 to $6.5K? To save one keystroke?

It was actually $6,656, so "$6.5K" framed it better.
 
2009-08-18 10:30:03 AM
I tried posting this article, told me it was already greenlit. Congrats subby!
 
2009-08-18 10:34:59 AM
wage0048: Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.



I did that with my kid when I caught him drinking. Made him finish the entire fifth of vodka. He died from alcohol poisoning, but so far it's kept my other two from drinking.
 
2009-08-18 10:44:18 AM
"Saturday night to the 1600 block"

/as far as I read
//Obama destroys cars
 
2009-08-18 10:45:48 AM
Zeiss_Ikon: 14-year-old boy causes $6.5K in damages to neighborhood cars. Fark: Because his grandma wouldn't give him a cigarettethe spankings he so desperately needed on a daily basis for the past decade

FTFY


WIN !!
 
2009-08-18 10:52:15 AM
Norad: Nobody has thought to ask where Mom was in all of this?

Was Gramma babysitting while Mom was out picking up potential fark trophy donors at Dino's Bar & Grill?


Or she could be dead. Or at work. Not every mom can be on welfare so she can watch her kid 24/7. I'm sure your mom did wonders with you and you NEVER got into any trouble. One question... has she cut the umbilical cord yet or are you still connected to her rotting placenta?
 
Ant
2009-08-18 10:52:36 AM
CaptainSmirk: /approves

WTF? Please tell me that's a 'shop
 
2009-08-18 11:00:10 AM
Geez; it's like the Warcraft Freak-Out Kid writ large.
 
2009-08-18 11:07:59 AM
Third In Line: wage0048: Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.

My sis had a friend whose mom caught her smoking (when the friend was 10) and made her EAT a half-pack of smokes. They had to get her stomach pumped but she became a non-smoker. I thought that was way too extreme.


No, that's not too extreme. I'd rather have a dead child than one who smokes.
 
2009-08-18 11:08:15 AM
What you do is since you can't beat your kids like the good 'ol days is hire some neighberhood bullies to beat the crap out of him. He will then learn that there are people out to get him if he f's up and they don't care about the laws.
 
2009-08-18 11:10:08 AM
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. When I was caught spray painting the convenience store, my dad made me drink all 4 bottles of paint.
 
2009-08-18 11:10:40 AM
cretinbob: Yep, there are more little shiats out there like this than you know.
And you can beat the hell out of them all you want, it only would make them worse.


wanna bet? He's 14, has no self control, no conscious. Going the Dr. Phil route and "talking to him" about his "feelings" isnt going to do anything. This kid needs $6.5K worth of damage done to his face to teach him a lesson.

I got spanked/hit when i was growing up and it taught me to NOT do the shiat Iw as doing.
 
2009-08-18 11:15:08 AM
wage0048

Okay, now it's time to give the kid a whole pack of cigarettes, and force him to chain smoke the whole thing. Seriously. Don't let him stop until he finishes #20 or he passes out.

My dad was in the marines in the 50s with a guy who smoked when the smoking lamp wasn't lit, as they say. They gave him 5 cigars and made him smoke them in a footlocker. Killed him.

Personally, I think they should just cane this kid's ass until it falls off. Then lock him up.
 
2009-08-18 11:22:36 AM
Who amongst us has not done something similar at that age? Were you all really so perfect? Around 1975, we rode are bicycles up and down the streets kicking in side mirrors- not one left for blocks- then because of the inherent risks of getting knocked off you bike (what made it fun for me), one of us brought a hammer and took all the sport out it. >>$6500. Little asshats? Of Course. Did you loose a mirror in Palo Alto, CA around 1975? My apologies.
However, jail and or beatings would have embittered me, not helped.
 
2009-08-18 11:27:38 AM
One word: Euthanasia.
 
2009-08-18 11:34:43 AM
Kids these days.
 
2009-08-18 11:41:16 AM
Firethorn: Until it's paid off - no TV, no computer, no games, no cigarettes, alcohol, nothing.

If he's not working to pay it off, he's not learning his lesson.


He shouldn't have cigs and booze anyway, he's 14 years old. Good grief.

The only lesson this kid should be learning is what the business end of a belt feels like. I'll volunteer to use my size 46 belt and also to do the swingin'.
 
2009-08-18 11:42:08 AM
Wow that kind of temper tantrum in Lincoln normally has a football theme.

Ahh Nebraska, home of nothing else to do but love the Huskers.

Really, they deport haters.
 
2009-08-18 11:42:45 AM
Mrstupid7: Third In Line: wage0048: Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.

My sis had a friend whose mom caught her smoking (when the friend was 10) and made her EAT a half-pack of smokes. They had to get her stomach pumped but she became a non-smoker. I thought that was way too extreme.

No, that's not too extreme. I'd rather have a dead child than one who smokes.


Oh, get over yourself. Control much? "My way or the highway"?

I know, I know, this is Fark
 
2009-08-18 11:47:31 AM
$6500 dolars in property damage? Drug-related? This kid doesn't need jail, he needs to be in a band...
 
2009-08-18 11:48:08 AM
Brainsick: $6500 dolars in property damage? Drug-related? This kid doesn't need jail, he needs to be in a band...

dollars, even
 
2009-08-18 11:52:33 AM
You gotta help us, Doc. We've tried nothin' and we're all out of ideas.

/Lousy beatniks
 
2009-08-18 11:54:36 AM
cretinbob
Yep, there are more little shiats out there like this than you know.
And you can beat the hell out of them all you want, it only would make them worse.


Not if you beat them with a cane until they cry for mommy. Of course, you'll mess them up in other ways but at least I won't have to hear about it
 
2009-08-18 11:55:43 AM
Reminds me of the time when me and my trailer-park friends were standing on a cliff overlooking a highway, throwing rocks at cars. We would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that meddling drill sergeant.

/as punishment, aside from getting verbally reamed by a drill sergeant, we had to clean the drunk tank
//we didn't do that again
 
2009-08-18 12:08:33 PM
Brainsick: Brainsick: $6500 dolars in property damage? Drug-related? This kid doesn't need jail, he needs to be in a band...

dollars, even


$6500 dollars? 6500 dollars dollars?

/second time in less than 12 hours
 
2009-08-18 12:16:33 PM
The child is defective. Destroy it and replace it.
 
2009-08-18 12:25:07 PM
That neighborhood is a shiathole.

It would not surprise me if the kid's parents are both in jail for drug-related charges.

It also wouldn't surprise me if the kid learned this behavior while watching a parent go through withdrawls, and smash things up until they got money for a fix.

16th and Sumner is a block south of the "teen and letter" neighborhood, a place you don't go in after 11 unless you plan on finding a hooker or drugs, or are a hooker or drug dealer.

It's like Detroit without the abandoned buildings.
 
2009-08-18 12:28:52 PM
Hawnkee: The child is defective. Destroy it and replace it.

FTFY
 
2009-08-18 12:35:00 PM
i230.photobucket.com
 
2009-08-18 12:40:21 PM
You know what else you can do with a paving brick?
 
2009-08-18 01:25:14 PM
wtfisthat: House of Tards: It was the nicotine withdrawl.

I hate it when I go on a psychotic rampage over a nicotine fit.


I'm so glad I quit now... Ill never have to worry about going into a psychotic rampage again!
 
2009-08-18 01:31:08 PM
Firethorn: Kids that old are capable of risk-award analysis(if informal and flawed).

I'd present the kid the bill, then make him work until he's paid it off.

Preferably something that's hard labor, but paid piece-meal such that the harder he works, the faster he gets it paid off.

Until it's paid off - no TV, no computer, no games, no cigarettes, alcohol, nothing.

If he's not working to pay it off, he's not learning his lesson.


...soo, he can smoke and drink when hes done???...
 
2009-08-18 01:37:31 PM
Truth-In-Advertising: Who amongst us has not done something similar at that age? Were you all really so perfect? Around 1975, we rode are bicycles up and down the streets kicking in side mirrors- not one left for blocks- then because of the inherent risks of getting knocked off you bike (what made it fun for me), one of us brought a hammer and took all the sport out it. >>$6500. Little asshats? Of Course. Did you loose a mirror in Palo Alto, CA around 1975? My apologies.
However, jail and or beatings would have embittered me, not helped.


You sound like you still need your ass kicked...
 
2009-08-18 01:47:29 PM
if this kid lived in my neighborhood, I'd have referred him to the back of my hand.

/get off my lawn!
 
2009-08-18 02:04:30 PM
Man, I was just sure this'd be somewhere in the UK.
 
2009-08-18 02:05:09 PM
i257.photobucket.com
 
2009-08-18 02:39:06 PM
Maul555: Truth-In-Advertising: Who amongst us has not done something similar at that age? Were you all really so perfect? Around 1975, we rode are bicycles up and down the streets kicking in side mirrors- not one left for blocks- then because of the inherent risks of getting knocked off you bike (what made it fun for me), one of us brought a hammer and took all the sport out it. >>$6500. Little asshats? Of Course. Did you loose a mirror in Palo Alto, CA around 1975? My apologies.
However, jail and or beatings would have embittered me, not helped.

You sound like you still need your ass kicked...


You sound like someone who won't be missed from society.
 
2009-08-18 02:50:33 PM
$6,500 in damages. Let's see...that's about 3 broken windows, 4 busted headlights and maybe one or two dinged quarter panels + labor = Big Farking Deal.
 
2009-08-18 03:27:00 PM
wage0048: Give him a whole pack of Marlboro Reds. Make him chain smoke the entire pack. He only gets to stop when he either finishes the pack or passes out.

Little fark'll never want to smoke again.


That used to be my commute.
 
2009-08-18 03:30:10 PM
timmy242: $6,500 in damages. Let's see...that's about 3 broken windows, 4 busted headlights and maybe one or two dinged quarter panels + labor = Big Farking Deal.

Nah. He just kicked a Saturn bumper hard enough to set off the airbags. Ta-daa!
 
2009-08-18 03:39:16 PM
i15.photobucket.com

Someone hook me up with a flame, I'm having a nic fit!
 
2009-08-18 05:07:43 PM
JerseyTim: You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps, Larry?

Most amazing dubbing for cable ever. Almost funnier than the original line.
 
2009-08-18 05:31:01 PM
Truth-In-Advertising: Who amongst us has not done something similar at that age? Were you all really so perfect? Around 1975, we rode are bicycles up and down the streets kicking in side mirrors- not one left for blocks- then because of the inherent risks of getting knocked off you bike (what made it fun for me), one of us brought a hammer and took all the sport out it. >>$6500. Little asshats? Of Course. Did you loose a mirror in Palo Alto, CA around 1975? My apologies.
However, jail and or beatings would have embittered me, not helped.


I'd be willing to bet that at least 85% of the population was never that much of a dick, but since you say jail and beatings wouldn't have helped, what would have? What would it have taken to make you less if a selfish, thoughtless little prick at that age?

By the time you're a teenager, you should be able ask yourself, before you act, "How would I feel if someone did this to me?" What would it have taken to get you there?
 
2009-08-18 09:23:57 PM
100 Watt Walrus:

I'd be willing to bet that at least 85% of the population was never that much of a dick, but since you say jail and beatings wouldn't have helped, what would have? What would it have taken to make you less if a selfish, thoughtless little prick at that age?

By the time you're a teenager, you should be able ask yourself, before you act, "How would I feel if someone did this to me?" What would it have taken to get you there?


Good question, really- I was already using drugs; my parents did not care where I was, as long as I left them alone.
One thing that did get through a couple years later was cop that yelled a lecture at us- no fines, jail etc, just the truth- He caught us doing doughnuts in a city park -mustang II, not any severe grass damage-but still a dick move to mess up a kids playing field. The cop started yelling "god damn rich kids have so much they don't know what to do with it, so they destroy it" He really got me thinking, and he was right
 
2009-08-18 10:06:21 PM
whall.org
 
2009-08-18 11:23:10 PM
If you're the kind of kid who is willing to do over $6K in damages to neighborhood vehicles, why would you not be willing to steal the cigarettes from your worthless wreck of a granny?
 
2009-08-18 11:47:48 PM
jonathandh: If you're the kind of kid who is willing to do over $6K in damages to neighborhood vehicles, why would you not be willing to steal the cigarettes from your worthless wreck of a granny?

Maybe the granny is very scary?
 
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