EmoPenis Thread Alert!

A few weeks back, I watched the movie. It wasn't bad. In fact, I thought that it was pretty good.

It wasn't super duper OMG "I LOVE YOU, EDWARD!!!" awesome like the fan girls try to make it out to be, but it's certainly not an abysmal piece crap that the Internet Tough Guys^TM say it is.

Is this Peter Facinellia line a meme now???

"Robert Pattinson's aunt says he shouldn't date his Twilight co-star, surprisingly this has nothing to do with Peter Facinelli"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4482822

I mean is subby Carlos Mencia? (actually, I have a hunch subby is the same person as the last one?)

Shampoo, Robert. Use some.

Hates punk vampires.

Facinelli- the most mysterious pasta.

I think I speak for quite a number of Farkers when I say:

So?!?

This guy looks way too sad for the amount of ass he should be getting. And not just from pre-teens. A disturbingly high number of adult women seem to like these books.

Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: A few weeks back, I watched the movie. It wasn't bad. In fact, I thought that it was pretty good.

It wasn't super duper OMG "I LOVE YOU, EDWARD!!!" awesome like the fan girls try to make it out to be, but it's certainly not an abysmal piece crap that the Internet Tough GuysTM say it is.

Vampires sparkle...that's all I need to know to stay away

epyonyx: Hates punk vampires.



That guy must not have binocular vision. His eyeball looks laterally.

Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: A few weeks back, I watched the movie. It wasn't bad. In fact, I thought that it was pretty good.

It wasn't super duper OMG "I LOVE YOU, EDWARD!!!" awesome like the fan girls try to make it out to be, but it's certainly not an abysmal piece crap that the Internet Tough GuysTM say it is.

Did we watch the same movie? I saw it last Saturday. Horrible. 85% of that movie was Edward staring creepily at Bella, or Bella staring into space. Then it was 10% Bella being so popular and hating it, then 5% plot. Boring.

/do I have to turn in my woman card now?

CowboyNinjaD:
[pattinson picture]

This guy looks way too sad for the amount of ass he should be getting. And not just from pre-teens. A disturbingly high number of adult women seem to like these books.

Dear god, he looks stinky.

terminalx:
Vampires sparkle...that's all I need to know to stay away


I watched that movie recently, with no other intent than to find humour in mocking it. Which I did. Repeatedly, and with much gusto.

But the moment when first he doth sparkled, I nearly peed my pants from laughing so hard. His face was like a farking disco ball.

CowboyNinjaD: This guy looks way too sad for the amount of ass he should be getting.

You tell me how you look after a powerful wizard hits you with the avada kedavra spell...

I knew about this crap a while ago. Unfortunately, the goddamn failtastic fandom exploded and think that this is sadly real life.
It's bad enough that they are insane in the first place. You ever get into an argument with those MarySue lovers?




/demands a bigger gun to wipe out the whole damn fandom

CowboyNinjaD: This guy looks way too sad for the amount of ass he should be getting.

Will brood for pussy.

Nobody claims that the co-star is female, right?

Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: A few weeks back, I watched the movie. It wasn't bad. In fact, I thought that it was pretty good.

It wasn't super duper OMG "I LOVE YOU, EDWARD!!!" awesome like the fan girls try to make it out to be, but it's certainly not an abysmal piece crap that the Internet Tough GuysTM say it is.

Meow, is that you?

Is it wrong that as a 36yr old hetero male that I really really need to buy this DvD just so I can also buy this awesomeness? (new window)

shubai33: Is it wrong that as a 36yr old hetero male that I really really need to buy this DvD just so I can also buy this awesomeness? (new window)

Netflix.


you can give me your $15 if you were really looking to part with it though.

Will hunt vampires for free, just this once.

He looked better when he played the part of Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. In Twilight, they make him look like a dink. They're just trying too hard.

This movie is pretty bad, but you could probably watch it ok in HYPERMODE.

/Hypermode is when you put on the subtitles and speed up the movie 2x as fast
//Only one movie is unwatchable even in hypermode: 2001: A space odyssey

Why is the discussion about Robert Pattinson when it should be about Kristen Stewart?

FeedTheCollapse: shubai33: Is it wrong that as a 36yr old hetero male that I really really need to buy this DvD just so I can also buy this awesomeness? (new window)

Netflix.


you can give me your $15 if you were really looking to part with it though.

Aye, I could do that or even Red Box or whatever it's called but I like to own the discs to the Rifftrx I buy so when I'm drunk at 3am (again) and I get the urge to listen to the guys rip on sparkly emo vampires I can.

Robert is Bothered.com

Link (new window)

Michael_in_TN: Why is the discussion about Robert Pattinson when it should be about Kristen Stewart?

I keep looking and feeling guilty b/c she looks more jailbait-y than Miley Cyrus.

I am bothered by the use of "romancing" as a verb. Quite unsure why.

CowboyNinjaD: This guy looks way too sad for the amount of ass he should be getting. And not just from pre-teens. A disturbingly high number of adult women seem to like these books.

I look at that photo and just think to myself, "Self, Wolverine sure was a pussy back in high school wasn't he?"

I'd also like to claim a huge crush on Kristen Stewart since watching Adventureland.

Fano: alcoda: I am bothered by the use of "romancing" as a verb. Quite unsure why.



Because you could never beat this?

Sadly, no. I've never seen that before.

drew46n2 Haha

MENSTRUATION: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: A few weeks back, I watched the movie. It wasn't bad. In fact, I thought that it was pretty good.

It wasn't super duper OMG "I LOVE YOU, EDWARD!!!" awesome like the fan girls try to make it out to be, but it's certainly not an abysmal piece crap that the Internet Tough GuysTM say it is.

Did we watch the same movie? I saw it last Saturday. Horrible. 85% of that movie was Edward staring creepily at Bella, or Bella staring into space. Then it was 10% Bella being so popular and hating it, then 5% plot. Boring.

/do I have to turn in my woman card now?



If you do, I do. I have an 11 year old and wanted to see what the fuss is about, not even a hint of chemistry between the two. It seemed to just reinforce the bad boy, girl can reform him crap.

Dialogue, what dialogue?

/hand that boy a comb
//I'm old

MENSTRUATION: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: A few weeks back, I watched the movie. It wasn't bad. In fact, I thought that it was pretty good.

It wasn't super duper OMG "I LOVE YOU, EDWARD!!!" awesome like the fan girls try to make it out to be, but it's certainly not an abysmal piece crap that the Internet Tough GuysTM say it is.

Did we watch the same movie? I saw it last Saturday. Horrible. 85% of that movie was Edward staring creepily at Bella, or Bella staring into space. Then it was 10% Bella being so popular and hating it, then 5% plot. Boring.

/do I have to turn in my woman card now?

We can turn them in together. That thing sucked donkey balls.

its not news ! .......... end

Michael_in_TN: Why is the discussion about Robert Pattinson when it should be about Kristen Stewart?

I like where you're going with this. Wish more people would follow.

I'd even take Ashley Greene.

sleeps in trees and David Bowie's Package, I would like to thank you for showing me there are other women who have not yet gone batshiat insane. Does that mean it's up to us to try to deprogram everyone else?

I have seen the movie too and agree that it was a laugh. I wish I had watched it with someone just so I could crack jokes.

Do I have to turn in my woman card too?

1. Pattison is NOT hot.
2. Creepy stalker is NOT hot.
3. Bella has NO personality.

Ok, the last one had nothing to do with being a woman but I had to throw that in there.

felixecho: I have seen the movie too and agree that it was a laugh. I wish I had watched it with someone just so I could crack jokes.

Do I have to turn in my woman card too?

1. Pattison is NOT hot.
2. Creepy stalker is NOT hot.
3. Bella has NO personality.

Ok, the last one had nothing to do with being a woman but I had to throw that in there.

No, it has to do with it, too, because people like to have characters we can relate to. I love the kickass-tomboy-with-a-vulnerable-side stereotype, for example, because it's how I like to think of myself (well, a better version of myself). I can't project myself onto a damned zombie woman who stares into space in every shot! Ooh, she's CLUMSY...how HUMAN! As if she is turning into flesh-and-blood before my eyes!

/grrrr

MENSTRUATION: felixecho: I have seen the movie too and agree that it was a laugh. I wish I had watched it with someone just so I could crack jokes.

Do I have to turn in my woman card too?

1. Pattison is NOT hot.
2. Creepy stalker is NOT hot.
3. Bella has NO personality.

Ok, the last one had nothing to do with being a woman but I had to throw that in there.

No, it has to do with it, too, because people like to have characters we can relate to. I love the kickass-tomboy-with-a-vulnerable-side stereotype, for example, because it's how I like to think of myself (well, a better version of myself). I can't project myself onto a damned zombie woman who stares into space in every shot! Ooh, she's CLUMSY...how HUMAN! As if she is turning into flesh-and-blood before my eyes!

/grrrr

Oh, but I thought that the kid who played Jacob was hot. That makes me feel bad because I'm probably old enough to have birthed him.

*vomits*

/hot as a Chinese pedicurist

If Pattinson is dating anybody from Twilight it's most likely the half-naked dude who turns into the giant fluffy puppy in the New Moon trailer.

/NTTAWWT
//The guys dating, not the turning into a giant fluffy puppy thing. There's PLENTY wrong with that.

I love the movie captions. I haven't laughed this hard since the Palin/Biden debate. Keep it coming farkers!

Twilight is only bearable with copious amounts of alcohol and if you watch the Rifftrax version. Even then it took me three attempts to make it through.

/no, he's not hot
//though maybe if he cut his hair and smiled once in a while
///sparkly mormon vampires are the stupidest thing ever

Mellorax - BWAHAHAHAHAHA. That is the best thing I've seen all day. Maybe all week.

perilsensitive

My God, I think I just peed my pants. So much laughing = win!

rmatthewware: Michael_in_TN: Why is the discussion about Robert Pattinson when it should be about Kristen Stewart?

I like where you're going with this. Wish more people would follow.

I'd even take Ashley Greene.

Since you asked.. I will leave this here.

MENSTRUATION: sleeps in trees and David Bowie's Package, I would like to thank you for showing me there are other women who have not yet gone batshiat insane. Does that mean it's up to us to try to deprogram everyone else?

Uh, yeah. You are the only 3 women anywhere that hated Twilight. Hating Twilight is so original and uncommon, you see.

/36 year old woman, thought Twilight was all right
//Not batshiat insane