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(I (heart) mass transit)   Farker Woodrow318 issued citation for crossing between cars on a stopped L train in order to avoid the suffocating stench of vomit. What's the stupidest ticket you've ever received? Vote for the worst   (transitchicago.com) divider line 306
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5625 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2003 at 3:05 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-03-02 03:26:23 AM  
Not mine, but still funny...bicycle warning ~160K
 
2003-03-02 03:26:50 AM  
You have already SUBMITTED for this topic, hoser.


/dumbass
 
2003-03-02 03:27:29 AM  
on my way to work one morning i ran over a cat.
i stopped but it was WAY too late to do anything.
a lady came screamin out of her house.
my cat, my cat! she wept and then we talked, she said it was a prize winner worth thousands. i said there is no way i'm gonna give you more than 50 bucks. while we were arguing
a cop showed up.
when all was said and done...

he gave me a ticket for standin out in the middle of the street arguing about the price of pussy!
 
2003-03-02 03:27:35 AM  
So the speed limit on a mountain bike is the same as it is for cars?
 
2003-03-02 03:27:48 AM  
So here I was in my HIGHLY modified '95 Mustang GT... We're talking 11 second drag car here... And I decided to antagonize and play with a new Dodge Viper on the way outta town...

Last time I examined my speedo I was hittine better than 140. The Viper had blown me away ENTIRELY. Local cop pulled me over and chastised me for not beating the punk kid in the Viper from the next town over. Funny non-ticket that still gets me mad respect in my home town.
 
2003-03-02 03:28:05 AM  
And my luckiest cop encounter: A friend and I were driving around some crap town by where I live and we each had a 40 oz of beer. I got pulled over by a guy who graduated high school 3 years before me. He clocked me doing 30 in a 20, then clocked me doing 40 in a 30, plus saw our beer. He simply told us not to be seen in town again that night. Thanks Craig.
 
2003-03-02 03:28:18 AM  
I got a ticket for driving with no shoes on, when I was 16. Apparently it's illegal in texas to do that.
 
2003-03-02 03:28:44 AM  
 
2003-03-02 03:30:32 AM  
I got ticketed for smoking underage when I was 16. Cost me 50 bucks and a beating from my dad.
 
2003-03-02 03:30:49 AM  
Mmmmmmmmmmm.............vomit.(drools) Don't get caught urinating on a police car in Tijuana. Cost me every cent I had on me. (Don't bother hiding any money in your sock,,they'll find it). But I escaped Tijuana's famous jail for the princely sum of $42.
 
2003-03-02 03:30:51 AM  
I don't know.....the two incidents were at different times. I got nabbed for riding on the wrong side of the street. I understand where the cops are coming from and I haven't done this in a LONG time. It's the 28 or 29 in a 25 zone when I'm still getting passed by cars.

...whatever...
 
2003-03-02 03:31:17 AM  
You got beat by a Viper? HAHAHAHAHHAHA. sorry.
 
2003-03-02 03:31:55 AM  
The library sent a cop to my house because I had an overdue book. Ever since that day I've lived by the motto, "Stay out of trouble, don't read."
 
2003-03-02 03:32:08 AM  
One night last year (also the first time pulled over by a cop) I was driving a friends cousin home after we left a pool hall. I had 1 head light out, but it was out that night only. Cop sees it pulls me over, asks me for registration and proof of insurance. I gladly give it to him, then he asks for my liscense....

OH FARK, don't have it. At the poolhall you needto give peice of ID to get a table and the place was busy when we left so the lady forgot and I forgot. I told teh cop he gets my info. He sits in his car for a while. Comes back and asks if I'm sure my liscence isn't suspended I was getting kinda scared. He then tells me that their databases are down so he can't tell what the deal is.

He told me " I can give you a ticket for a missing a head light something like 150 bucks, also my tail lights were out (brake switch broken I found out later) another 200+ ticket, and he could take me in for no liscense and make the other guy walk home (15+ miles away) but he said he was in a good mood so he let me off with nothing.


Also once I had a car full of chicks and I saw a cop in front of me in a turn lane, we both turn and well a cop behind me saw my brake lights out so puls me over, other cop sees and comes and takes a look at us, all the girls are laughing but no ticket either. Suprised he didn't ask if we were on drugs or something.

I have been pulled over 20+ times and only 1 ticket. I think I'm doing pretty good. Though I did get pulled over for going 5 over the limit cop said "we are looking for drunks tonight"
 
2003-03-02 03:32:29 AM  
The only ticket I've ever got was for going 66mph in a 55mph zone. The roadway was completely deserted, except for the Ohio Highway Patrol trooper who did a U-Turn in the middle of the highway to get me.

Besides that, I was busted in a 1988 Geo Metro. I should've been rewarded for setting a land-speed record!
 
2003-03-02 03:33:11 AM  
I narrowly avoided being detained on Halloween on 97.. Fortunatly my friend who had passed out to do a conflict with the anti psychotic medication and the malt liquor was woken by police and went into a mad rage that created the diversion for me to slip away and he was head butting polic officers and eating mace.
 
2003-03-02 03:33:48 AM  
This is a good thread for this late at night. I needed something to keep me company.

To give me my most recent speeding ticket, the cop had to have doubled the posted limit for over a mile to catch me, just a function of heavy traffic on a two-lane highway. All to give me 10mph-over ticket. It begs the question of when a cop is risking more lives than saving them.

TANGENT! History Channel is showing a lot of those laughable Drugs Fund Terrorists ads tonight. Ashcroft Nation!
 
2003-03-02 03:34:32 AM  
Zelkova, You've been pulled over 20+ times in one year??? Dear GOD stay off my road!
 
2003-03-02 03:38:15 AM  
Coffee2go4me -> Sounds like the cops here. Took 4 of them to pull me over and tell me that "it looked like you might have swerved into the other lane". Took the ID of the passenger in my car as well. And when I put my registration back in the glove box, he saw a ziplock bag in there and freaked out... God forbid I have a plastic bag full of screws/etc. for my partially disassembled car stereo. I've also been pulled over for not having a front license plate... when I didn't have any plates at all. Still had a temp. permit because the car was a week old. Out local law enforcement is great. I love seeing them harassing/searching 12 year olds for riding their bikes on the sidewalk while right behind them people run red lights and drive like complete jackasses.

I've gotten two actual tickets, though. One a couple of years ago (speeding, 84 in a posted 65) which I totally deserved. The other was for "failure to obey a traffic control device". I pulled out to see around a bush before crossing a street, and a van which was speeding in the bike lane hit the driver's side of my car. So on top of losing my car (cops made me at fault), tons of headaches with insurance/bills, and broken bones... I get a $300 fine and 20 hours of community service.

Ugh.
 
2003-03-02 03:38:48 AM  
Once upon a time, I was ticketed for smoking a cigarette on a subway platform by an undercover Police Officer. Approximately two weeks later, I received a Summons to Appear in Court. I had to take a half a day off from work to plead guilty to smoking in front of a Municipal Court Judge. I was fined and had to pay Court Costs, which totaled $165.00. That was my first and only appearence in a Court of Law to date.

To this day, I hope that cop chokes on a f*cking donut.
 
2003-03-02 03:39:08 AM  
On the subject of cops, in high school a friend of mine and I decided to jump into the town swimming pool at 2 in the morning. We climb the building, run across the roof and make about a 10 ft jump to barely make it in the pool. I get out to see him climbing the high dive, so I follow and when we get out and run to the car we take off. So we're sitting there, wet, in our underwear and my friend looks over and says, "If we get pulled over, I'm telling the cop we're gay" Glad we didn't get pulled over.
 
2003-03-02 03:41:16 AM  
oh yeah, when my fiance went to court over that ticket, the judge looked at it and laughed like it was a joke but decided he had to rule on it somehow and gave him 30days probation and court costs, but that was all
 
2003-03-02 03:41:20 AM  
Satan_duh: Never got the warning, but beat a Viper on the road. ;P

Track's another story. Road Atlanta training day I got biatch-slapped in acceleration, but meh, ob-la-di...

/Stealth RT/TT 15G Borla/Denso?Kenne/HKS etc etc


Sniff...I really miss that car, now I check out eBay Motors at least once a week for a base TT.

Good times.
 
2003-03-02 03:42:41 AM  
No tickets, but warnings: one for hitting a cop in the head with an iceball, and one for building an obstacle course out of snow on main street in my hometown.
 
2003-03-02 03:44:56 AM  
While driving a 67 4door Chevelle painted black with bbq grill paint and spray can flames late at night, I was pulled over on Boston Freeway ramp by motorcycle cop because car was blowing smoke from exhaust. He almost colapsed from fumes as he walked up to me. He said he could shoot me because the exhaust were killing him! He let me off with a warning when he got another call on the radio.
I never fixed the exhaust problem and drove the car until it died.
 
2003-03-02 03:46:01 AM  
Getting cited for excessive noise in my apartment. From among never ending complaints of my psycho neighbors in college.

And yes, just before midnight New Year's Eve among all the fireworks already going off outside.

/still in disbelief

P.S. Soundgarden's Big Dumb Sex cranked up at midnight felt relieving.
 
2003-03-02 03:46:48 AM  
"Failure to control speed" I hit some black ice in an old mazda and spun around 360 degrees right in to a driveway like I parked it.The cop took five minutes to stop laughing before he asked for my license and registration.
 
2003-03-02 03:47:56 AM  
Got a ticket for skateboarding in my old neigbor's empty pool...it was a breakin charge, I was only 14, damn old ladies,

meh
 
2003-03-02 03:51:24 AM  
I was pulled over once. It was in a dark road with deep drainage ditches on either side. I had just turned 16, just got my license, and was coming home late from work (Wal~Mart).

Lights go on behind me. I'm scared shiatless because I just got my license a couple weeks prior and my dad is a real biatch about these things.

I pull over, and Big Fat Old Cop gets out of the car. I could see in my rearview that there was another cop in the passenger seat of the car. Well, Big Fat Old Cop walks up to my lowered window, and asks that I step out of the car.

I'm scared to death, and shakily get out of the car. The moment I'm free from the door he grabs me and throw me on the hood. And I'm not talking a quick shove. He pushes me as hard as he can and whips out the cuffs.

So here I am, standing cuffed on Bliss Road in Sarasota, FL, with Big Fat Old Cop calling me a "stupid coont" and yelling that I probably thought I was "pretty smart" to evade capture for so long.

The Skinny Tall Young Cop jumps out of the car and tells Big Fat Old Cop to let me go, and that he had the "wrong guy."

After explaining to me that I apparently matched the desription (as did my car) of a guy who's raped a couple girls in the area, they let me know that I should be happy I wasn't in jail. Then they left, but not before Big Fat Old Cop called me a "stupid little punk."

I should have sued them for a new pair of pants. Brown doesn't go too well with khaki.
 
2003-03-02 03:52:53 AM  
I was pulled over once. It was in a dark road with deep drainage ditches on either side. I had just turned 16, just got my license, and was coming home late from work (Wal~Mart).

Lights go on behind me. I'm scared shiatless because I just got my license a couple weeks prior and my dad is a real biatch about these things.

I pull over, and Big Fat Old Cop gets out of the car. I could see in my rearview that there was another cop in the passenger seat of the car. Well, Big Fat Old Cop walks up to my lowered window, and asks that I step out of the car.

I'm scared to death, and shakily get out of the car. The moment I'm free from the door he grabs me and throw me on the hood. And I'm not talking a quick shove. He pushes me as hard as he can and whips out the cuffs.

So here I am, standing cuffed on Bliss Road in Sarasota, FL, with Big Fat Old Cop calling me a "stupid coont" and yelling that I probably thought I was "pretty smart" to evade capture for so long.

The Skinny Tall Young Cop jumps out of the car and tells Big Fat Old Cop to let me go, and that he had the "wrong guy."

After explaining to me that I apparently matched the desription (as did my car) of a guy who's raped a couple girls in the area, they let me know that I should be happy I wasn't in jail. Then they left, but not before Big Fat Old Cop called me a "stupid little punk."

I should have sued them for a new pair of pants. Brown doesn't go too well with khaki.

Now with voting, ya cellists.
 
2003-03-02 03:53:10 AM  
I got a ticket from the National Park Service for running great falls rapids on the potomac on the border of MD and VA in the Middle of the Day. $200 fine I was pissed but had a good time.
My friend ran it the next day and got stuck in the middle of the rapids they had to get a chopper to get him off they made him pay for the chopper fuel $2000 he is a pure asshat.


PS I still cant spell
 
2003-03-02 03:53:23 AM  
Vegita6_13, only twice for speeding, 1 for missing headlight, 2 or 3 for brakelights not working properly. Forgot what others were for.

Cops like to follow young men who have goatees and spikey hair, kinda blows. those stupid cops profiling.

I'm a great driver, just cops don't like it when tires spin. Amazingly I can get tires to spin on a dieing v6 Tbird. gonna be fun on my new '67 mustang.
 
2003-03-02 03:55:49 AM  
Oh yeah, I forgot about jaywalking! I was visiting a friend in California, we were going to another friends house and at this intersection we were standing there for about two minutes with not a car moving and all the lights were red. We were like "screw it" and ran across the road. Immediately the fuzz cut us off and we ended up doing 6 hrs community service washing cop cars and other stuff around the stattion. Funny thing is we walked out of there with bags full of illegal fireworks from their little confiscation room. Those were the days
 
2003-03-02 03:56:17 AM  
oh yeah a couple for not signaling when NO ONE was around other then the cop. Too bad my dad wont get pulled over for teh same thing, he NEVER signals. I usually do when I feel paranoid.

I would really love to take classes on stunt driving and stuff like that.
 
2003-03-02 03:59:08 AM  
This one beats everthing...

I got a ticket for:
Wait for it..

PARKING ON MY OWN GODDAMN NATURE STRIP

i was parked outside my own house on the little strip of lawn, and got pinged $100 bucks...
 
2003-03-02 04:09:25 AM  
A couple years ago I was leaving work late at night and headed to Denny's with a co-worker to get some chow. Didn't break any traffic laws at all on the way, but got pulled over by a cop right as I turned into the Denny's parking lot. He was following and just decided to run my plate for no reason and discovered that I had a warrant for an FTA on an inspection sticker ticket that I missed (totally my fault, but still, I was driving like a Saint) so I got the cuffs thrown on me in the Denny's parking lot with all the diners staring at me w/ mouths full of Grand Slam and bad coffee. Spent the night in the slammer and was fined for all my horrible misdeeds. Oh, and it was my birthday. You can bet I'll never FTA again.
 
2003-03-02 04:10:41 AM  
Oops. Now with voting

A couple years ago I was leaving work late at night and headed to Denny's with a co-worker to get some chow. Didn't break any traffic laws at all on the way, but got pulled over by a cop right as I turned into the Denny's parking lot. He was following and just decided to run my plate for no reason and discovered that I had a warrant for an FTA on an inspection sticker ticket that I missed (totally my fault, but still, I was driving like a Saint) so I got the cuffs thrown on me in the Denny's parking lot with all the diners staring at me w/ mouths full of Grand Slam and bad coffee. Spent the night in the slammer and was fined for all my horrible misdeeds. Oh, and it was my birthday. You can bet I'll never FTA again.
 
2003-03-02 04:13:52 AM  
A couple of years back,a friend and I got tickets after the cop followed us around for 15 minutes or more until he got us for speeding thru a 3 foot construction area (which means double fine, then they (cop and rookie) damn-near strip searched us and the car. Then made us wait in the cold for 30 minutes in 20 degree weather without coats(they didn't want to risk us having stuff hidden in them they said) while they interrogated us and re-searched the car with more cops and dogs, all because we were 16 and his dad's cigars were in the glove dept., they insisted we had been high (we weren't, we were pissed and cold), and they said we were going to put pot in the cigars (we weren't). We got tickets for minors in possesion of tobacco, even though his dad corrected the cops. Damn COPS
 
2003-03-02 04:16:24 AM  
I once got a ticket for "entering a gas station through the exit?" I found this quite bizarre as it was a very sparcely(sp?) populated rest stop off of I90 in Illinois. I went to court to contest it and the cop didn't show up. So I moved for a dismissal and won. I read a few years later in the newspaper that this cop was murdered by his wife or someone associated with his wife. Karma bites back big i guess.
 
2003-03-02 04:22:30 AM  
SolarisMarketing:
I was given a ticket for loitering because I spent too much time reading the headline of this ridiculous "story." A vote for me is a vote for TFer control of what stories get approved for the main page!

Ah the joys of the Fark Generation. Whiny SOB's who complain about having to read more than 8 words (the agony!) strung together on a portion of a website that is farking free. A vote for them is a vote for pretentious a-holes.
 
2003-03-02 04:23:40 AM  
My brother was at a party making the move on some girl in the front seat of his friend, Steve's, car. The friend was passed out in the back. When my brother sees the cops arrive he (impeccable drunken logic kicking in) figures he better split, so he fires the car up and proceeds down the road, bumping into cars/fences/mailboxes as he goes. When he sees the flashing red and blue behind him he freaks out because (what else?) he is too young to drive. So he yells at his passed out buddy and gets him into the driver's seat and switches places. His buddy has no comprehension of what's going on and - no surprise - gets thrown in the cell and loses his licence. But Steve gets his licence back since my brother was able to prove in court that it was he who was driving.

Incidentally, not long after, the cop who pulled them over that night (a bit of a Nazi) got fired from the force and went on to work with the LAPD, where he was warmly received.
 
2003-03-02 04:28:50 AM  
Too late for voting, and it's not even my story but I think it's a good one.

My mother got a ticket for jaywalking one morning on the way to work. The bus pulled up to her stop while she was still across the street, so she ran against the light (there was no traffic) and hopped on the bus. She showed her pass and went to sit down.

She started going through her briefcase, and was wearing a walkman, so she didn't at first hear the cop who had followed her on the bus, standing over her going "Ma'am.. ma'am.. ma'am.."

Jaywalking ticket. If I was her I would have contested it.
 
2003-03-02 04:31:24 AM  
The dumbest ticket I got was for not wearing a helmet while riding a bike. I was 12, and at that time, wearing a helmet while biking was equivalent to walking around naked in school. A lot of kids, including me, stopped riding their bikes to school because of that crap law.

I got two tickets while riding a bike, and none yet from driving a car.
 
2003-03-02 04:34:47 AM  
My old man got pulled over once for running a red light but the cop forgot to pull the two people that ran it AFTER my dad. My dad actually ended up taking the cop to court because the cop wrote the ticket wrong...said this event occurred in the AM when it really happened in the PM. My old man had a pretty viable case and the judge ended up farking him over too. He said it didn't matter what time the ticket said, the event still happened.

As for me, I've only received a warning. I'm still cool.
 
2003-03-02 04:38:40 AM  
Absolutely true: Was meeting my girlfriend for lunch about 5 months ago and I get stopped in a radar trap a few blocks from the restaurant. Jerkoff cop gives me a 52 in a 45 zone ticket. I get to lunch late and my girl isn't there. So I sit down and she walks in 20 minutes later. Turns out, she was running late and went through the same radar trap with the same cop. She was going 72 in the same 45 zone with no registration; giggles, smiles and gets a warning.

All cops suck, more buildings should fall on there asses.
 
2003-03-02 04:39:06 AM  
I wasn't ticketed, but I was picked up after curfew (when I was 16). The funny part is I got caught at the 24-hour doughnut shop. It was something like 4am and curfew for minors was 10pm.
 
2003-03-02 04:41:25 AM  
SlackrMatt: It's an urban legend that inconsequential data on a ticket (such as time of day, color of vehicle, ethnicity of ticket recipient) can cause the entire ticket null and void.
 
2003-03-02 04:49:49 AM  
Back when I was working night shifts, I was driving home after work at about 2am Monday morning (or Sunday night if you like) and there was absolutely no other traffic anywhere. The city was deserted.

Then, as I go through an intersection, this big, dark Commodore pulls out from the adjoining road and cuddles up behind me.

Now, there were three lands on the road, and this guy decided to pick mine and tailgate. Seriously, I thought he was trying to climb into the back seat. Then I noticed there were two guys in the car.

And it was following me around every corner.

I was getting a little edgy and suspicious, to I took a few erroneous turns to mix things up a little and just to see what would happen and sure enough the car followed me everywhere, sticking righ on my arse, headlights graring in my mirrors making it hard to see.

So, obviously, I got kinda scared, thinking he was following me, so I headed towards home, trying to think of some sort of contingency plan in case he followed me up the driveway (and I'm ashamed to say I couldn't think of any bright ideas).

I managed to catch a few orange lights, scooting though at the last moment in the vain hope he might just be a law-abiding driver after all and stop for the lightslike a a ood boy. But he didn't, and the car kept right on my tail for block after block.

Then I decided to try a sudden lane change to see if he would jump back in behind me...

He did.

And then I saw the blue and red lights flash on the dashboard.

It was an unmarked police car. They had followed me for the length of the city and a whole suburb. They had followed far too close, blinding me with their lights and generally acting like creepy arseholes.

And then they had the cheek to cite me for "erratic driving."

Cvnts.
 
2003-03-02 04:54:31 AM  
Get this! My brother's a nurse in the E.R. and he can do basically anything he wants while driving, so long as he has his outfit on or his hospital ID in the car! Cops have a fear that by giving him a ticket they may not get help if they end up in the ER. And if it's a hard-nosed cop, he just says "it's an emergency" flashes the ID and speeds off. It works, I've seen it! Sooo boys and girls if you don't want tickets, become a nurse or doc!!
 
2003-03-02 04:56:44 AM  
rolled a stop sign at 6 in the morning after dropping my mom off at work. i had had my license for 3 weeks and it was taken away for 2 months. officer was a huge prick about it too, stop sign was hidden.
 
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