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(I (heart) mass transit)   Farker Woodrow318 issued citation for crossing between cars on a stopped L train in order to avoid the suffocating stench of vomit. What's the stupidest ticket you've ever received? Vote for the worst   ( divider line
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5653 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2003 at 3:05 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

306 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2003-03-01 10:12:11 PM  
I can't believe I read the entire headline.
2003-03-01 10:26:11 PM  
I was given a ticket for loitering because I spent too much time reading the headline of this ridiculous "story." A vote for me is a vote for TFer control of what stories get approved for the main page!
2003-03-01 11:00:55 PM  
One time someone gave me a stupid ticket to Cats.

Hahahahaha. Go to hell, Wordy McWorderson.
2003-03-01 11:09:05 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-01 11:40:07 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-01 11:53:48 PM  
Once a car ran over me and a girl and we got a ticket for doing it in the road.
2003-03-02 12:00:23 AM  
when i was 16, i got a ticket for riding double on a moped by the sylvania (ohio) twp. police. my father had the ticket fixed. end of story.
2003-03-02 12:11:47 AM  
What's the stupidest ticket you've ever received?

Illegal riding. 4 guys in an MG Midget was apparently too many for the cops in Coronado California. The cop also wanted to ticket me for underage drinking and had me blow in his face several times. Luckily I passed that test.

Weird thing is that we were returning from Tijuana where we had to pay off the Mexican cops to keep from being taken to the police station.
2003-03-02 12:38:21 AM  
I got one for being parked facing the wrong direction, seriously. It was 35 dollars
2003-03-02 12:40:09 AM  
Also, I got a ticket for doing 74 in a 70. I was so pissed. It was 85 dollars, but the judge just chuckled and made me take a "defensive driving" class and had the ticket dropped
2003-03-02 12:47:05 AM  
I slid sideways on an icy bridge that was angled and grooved for reconstruction. Got fined and a couple points. My rates went up, & the dingleberries that were 8 months behind schedule on construction got a few extra mil in construction time.

/still angry
2003-03-02 01:40:47 AM  
Jaywalking. And when I laughed, the cop gave me a ticket for not having ID. (I was 15, no driver license, in between schools, fresh back stateside from overseas.) I ignored them both. Probably a warrant out for me in AZ. I have met only one other person in my life that was ticketed for jaywalking.
2003-03-02 01:47:18 AM  
Malinois, I did a slide on icy roads like yours once, ended up on the grass of an elementary school. A cop saw it happen, spun around, and hit the same patch I did, and ended up on the yard right next to me. He said, "Well, I was going to give you a ticket for losing control of your vehicle like that, but I don't think I'll do that now."
2003-03-02 02:42:03 AM  
I got a ticket for owning a radar detector in VA once. Bastards.
2003-03-02 03:02:28 AM  
2003-03-02 03:06:53 AM  
Fishrockcarving, that's farking hilarious.
2003-03-02 03:08:10 AM  
Public drunkeness. Luckily my friend had a PBA card, so, no ticket!
2003-03-02 03:10:04 AM  
I was given a moving violation when I was 12 for pushing a broken down 3 wheeler down my street. I thought the cop was going to help me...instead...he ticketed me.
2003-03-02 03:10:11 AM  
I was with a friend of mine who got a ticket for a broken tail light. Of course it was broken after the cop hit it four times with his night stick. . .Gave him a Minor in Possession too.
2003-03-02 03:10:35 AM  
"""Malinois, I did a slide on icy roads like yours once, ended up on the grass of an elementary school. A cop saw it happen, spun around, and hit the same patch I did, and ended up on the yard right next to me. He said, "Well, I was going to give you a ticket for losing control of your vehicle like that, but I don't think I'll do that now."

hah.. thats funny story..

I fail to see how people can give out tickets for hitting a blackice patch..
it's scary..
2003-03-02 03:11:42 AM  
I was with a friend of mine who got a ticket for a broken tail light. Of course it was broken after the cop hit it four times with his night stick. . .Gave him a Minor in Possession too.

In VOTING flavor also!!!!
2003-03-02 03:11:58 AM  
In my hometown it is illigal to spit on the sidewalks.

I found this out when I was 16.

You can spit on the grass. You can spit on the street. But don't you dare dirty up the sidewalks!
2003-03-02 03:13:56 AM  
Stupid Ticket?

I drank a 5th...

...I mean I plead the 5th...

...whatever, I'm not talking. F'ing Ashcroft.
2003-03-02 03:14:31 AM  
I deserved all the tickets I ever got.
No really.

This one time, I was pulled over for "running a red light."
I was farked up drunk. My friend was passed out in the seat next to me.
The cop came to my window and asked me if I had been drinking. I said no, and my friend woke up and said "yep."
The cop knew it, since it was so obvious, and yet he let me go with a "running a red light" ticket

Truth is, I didnt run a red light, I weaved through an intersection.
2003-03-02 03:16:00 AM  
The police department in my town is a real piece of work. When I was 14 a cop "pulled" me over for running a stop sign while riding my bike. No ticket. Just a warning.
2003-03-02 03:16:33 AM  
i got 3 tickets at once. for being too sexy and awesome simultaneously.
2003-03-02 03:16:37 AM  
peeing on a cop
2003-03-02 03:17:12 AM  
Wait, you got a citation for crossing between el trains? Every single time I'm on the el, at least 5 people are moving in and out of cars. I can't believe you got cited for that.

God I hate Chicago.

To keep this on-topic, it wasn't a citation by any means, but my high school was *nuts* about walking on the grass. Professors, staff, everyone would just lose their fricking mind if you even thought about walking on the grass. Meanwhile the workers from the Physical Plant were driving vehicles over the grass, completely ripping everything up, but that's high school for you.
2003-03-02 03:17:24 AM  
A few years ago I chased a couple of punk kids down the road when they threw fireworks out their car into our wheatfield. I passed them approaching a stop sign and they tried to pass me, but ended up running into the side of my truck. I got a ticket for failure to signal for a turn.
2003-03-02 03:17:39 AM  
I live in a suburb where the average age is above 50. Cops are major dicks, I've gotten pulled over for going 27 in a 25 zone. Got off, but the cop warned me that I was "pusing it". So the rest of the summer me and a couple of friends shot bottle rockes at the city hall/police station every couple of days.
2003-03-02 03:18:09 AM  
I got a ticket because the light over my license plate didn't work. It took 4 cop cars to do that. We figured they had gotten lost on the way to the donut shop.

Went to the courthouse the next day with a receipt for a light bulb and it was dropped...
2003-03-02 03:18:58 AM  
When I was 16 I was rushing to get my brother to his Tae Kwon Do class, was pulled over for speeding, and got the ticket for driving barefoot..
2003-03-02 03:18:59 AM  
How about getting pulled over for speeding on a mountain bike? Jackasses "let me" go to traffic safety classes for speeding on a bike and for riding on the wrong side of the road too. Motherfarkers.

Bad cops, no more donuts. Find something else to do besides pulling the cyclists in town.
2003-03-02 03:19:17 AM  
My fiance got a ticket for "failure to stay in a traffic lane" because he swerved so as not to hit several teenagers walking on the side of the road.
2003-03-02 03:20:23 AM  
My friend got a $130 dollar ticket for "traveling in the passing lane" lost his licence too.
2003-03-02 03:20:37 AM  
Riding on my Segway...
2003-03-02 03:20:40 AM  
A stunting ticket for hooting and hollering at some girls on a street corner.(and maybe a few wagging tongues) on Jasper avenue Edmonton Alberta. $150 and 5 demerits.
2003-03-02 03:21:00 AM  
After driving cross-country and being out-of-state for three months, I got pulled over for having an 2-day expired mechanical inspection sticker twenty minutes after crossing back over NY state line. In spite of it being a one-year-old car, my clean record, getting the inspection done that afternoon and providing documentation that I was working in California, I was still fined $105.
2003-03-02 03:21:01 AM  
I got a ticket in Cartersville, Georgia, for having two different license plates on the same car. The expired one was stuck to the frame with a rusted nut. I'd gotten the new one earlier that day, but didn't have any tools in the car to remove the old one.

The cop was easily seven feet tall and 300 pounds, and approached the car with his hand on his gun... I didn't argue....
2003-03-02 03:21:36 AM  
Now with voting....How about getting pulled over for speeding on a mountain bike? Jackasses "let me" go to traffic safety classes for speeding on a bike and for riding on the wrong side of the road too. Motherfarkers.

Bad cops, no more donuts. Find something else to do besides pulling the cyclists in town.
2003-03-02 03:21:40 AM  
I got stopped and didn't have proof of insurance. The cop said I had 24 hours to produce proof. I was stopped in Wichita on my way back to Manhattan KS (3.5 hours) I called the next morning and asked where I could fax a copy of my insurance. They said I had to present it in person. I drove all the way back down and showed some lady in an office all by herself. She looked at it for about .057 seconds, and wrote the ticket off.
2003-03-02 03:22:48 AM  
I got a ticket once for screaming and ranting at the top of my lungs while hammering my head against the desk in a public library. I had seen one too many "advice" posts on Fark to take it anymore.

/big lie
2003-03-02 03:22:56 AM  
88 in a 55 mph...actually come to think of it I completely deserved it.
2003-03-02 03:23:05 AM  
Some jackass metermaid in Minneapolis gave me a ticket for "Failing to display license plate or tabs." The front license plate had fallen off my car so I put it on the dashboard, where it was quite visible through the windshield. The jerk put the ticket over the (again, visible) license plate.

The fine is $85 but I am going to contest it. I wasn't even in the car at the time. Someone who normally is just authorized to give parking tickets wrote it.

Stupid farking Minneapolis cops and co always abuse their authority.
2003-03-02 03:23:22 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

A vote for me is a vote for Mr. Farkwicket's tag!!
2003-03-02 03:24:03 AM this time with voting....and I stop drinking beer and go to bed already.How about getting pulled over for speeding on a mountain bike? Jackasses "let me" go to traffic safety classes for speeding on a bike and for riding on the wrong side of the road too. Motherfarkers.

Bad cops, no more donuts. Find something else to do besides pulling the cyclists in town.
2003-03-02 03:24:37 AM  
I got yanked over in Florida for having a burnt out running light. It was a loose wire--I fixed it on the spot by banging my fist against the side of the car.

Since I had NY plates, they ran a drug dog over the car, which returned a false positive. (Yes, it really was false--I've got no reason to BS here.)

Three hours later, I was sent on my way with a fixit ticket for a burnt out bulb that wasn't burnt out.
2003-03-02 03:24:48 AM  
i NEARLY got a ticket for not having a parking permit at my school. the damnded thing slid off my dashboard, i told the stupid rent-a-cop it slid off and the only way he responded was by nodding his head like he didn't know sheeyat. yes i wanted to rip that cloth badge off his shirt.
2003-03-02 03:25:42 AM  
Bikers need more tickets. The laws in a lot of states are the same for cars as they are bikes, so something like a speeding ticket isnt dumb.

Stupidist ticket I didnt get: Dui because I was driving via braille as the fog was so thick you couldnt see the road.
2003-03-02 03:26:12 AM  
Ah, if you're going fast enough to be speeding and you're riding on the wrong side of the road, that's really quite adequate reason to get a ticket.

And I say that as a fellow bicyclist.
2003-03-02 03:26:23 AM  
Not mine, but still funny...bicycle warning ~160K
2003-03-02 03:26:50 AM  
You have already SUBMITTED for this topic, hoser.

2003-03-02 03:27:29 AM  
on my way to work one morning i ran over a cat.
i stopped but it was WAY too late to do anything.
a lady came screamin out of her house.
my cat, my cat! she wept and then we talked, she said it was a prize winner worth thousands. i said there is no way i'm gonna give you more than 50 bucks. while we were arguing
a cop showed up.
when all was said and done...

he gave me a ticket for standin out in the middle of the street arguing about the price of pussy!
2003-03-02 03:27:35 AM  
So the speed limit on a mountain bike is the same as it is for cars?
2003-03-02 03:27:48 AM  
So here I was in my HIGHLY modified '95 Mustang GT... We're talking 11 second drag car here... And I decided to antagonize and play with a new Dodge Viper on the way outta town...

Last time I examined my speedo I was hittine better than 140. The Viper had blown me away ENTIRELY. Local cop pulled me over and chastised me for not beating the punk kid in the Viper from the next town over. Funny non-ticket that still gets me mad respect in my home town.
2003-03-02 03:28:05 AM  
And my luckiest cop encounter: A friend and I were driving around some crap town by where I live and we each had a 40 oz of beer. I got pulled over by a guy who graduated high school 3 years before me. He clocked me doing 30 in a 20, then clocked me doing 40 in a 30, plus saw our beer. He simply told us not to be seen in town again that night. Thanks Craig.
2003-03-02 03:28:18 AM  
I got a ticket for driving with no shoes on, when I was 16. Apparently it's illegal in texas to do that.
2003-03-02 03:28:44 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-02 03:30:32 AM  
I got ticketed for smoking underage when I was 16. Cost me 50 bucks and a beating from my dad.
2003-03-02 03:30:49 AM  
Mmmmmmmmmmm.............vomit.(drools) Don't get caught urinating on a police car in Tijuana. Cost me every cent I had on me. (Don't bother hiding any money in your sock,,they'll find it). But I escaped Tijuana's famous jail for the princely sum of $42.
2003-03-02 03:30:51 AM  
I don't know.....the two incidents were at different times. I got nabbed for riding on the wrong side of the street. I understand where the cops are coming from and I haven't done this in a LONG time. It's the 28 or 29 in a 25 zone when I'm still getting passed by cars.

2003-03-02 03:31:17 AM  
You got beat by a Viper? HAHAHAHAHHAHA. sorry.
2003-03-02 03:31:55 AM  
The library sent a cop to my house because I had an overdue book. Ever since that day I've lived by the motto, "Stay out of trouble, don't read."
2003-03-02 03:32:08 AM  
One night last year (also the first time pulled over by a cop) I was driving a friends cousin home after we left a pool hall. I had 1 head light out, but it was out that night only. Cop sees it pulls me over, asks me for registration and proof of insurance. I gladly give it to him, then he asks for my liscense....

OH FARK, don't have it. At the poolhall you needto give peice of ID to get a table and the place was busy when we left so the lady forgot and I forgot. I told teh cop he gets my info. He sits in his car for a while. Comes back and asks if I'm sure my liscence isn't suspended I was getting kinda scared. He then tells me that their databases are down so he can't tell what the deal is.

He told me " I can give you a ticket for a missing a head light something like 150 bucks, also my tail lights were out (brake switch broken I found out later) another 200+ ticket, and he could take me in for no liscense and make the other guy walk home (15+ miles away) but he said he was in a good mood so he let me off with nothing.

Also once I had a car full of chicks and I saw a cop in front of me in a turn lane, we both turn and well a cop behind me saw my brake lights out so puls me over, other cop sees and comes and takes a look at us, all the girls are laughing but no ticket either. Suprised he didn't ask if we were on drugs or something.

I have been pulled over 20+ times and only 1 ticket. I think I'm doing pretty good. Though I did get pulled over for going 5 over the limit cop said "we are looking for drunks tonight"
2003-03-02 03:32:29 AM  
The only ticket I've ever got was for going 66mph in a 55mph zone. The roadway was completely deserted, except for the Ohio Highway Patrol trooper who did a U-Turn in the middle of the highway to get me.

Besides that, I was busted in a 1988 Geo Metro. I should've been rewarded for setting a land-speed record!
2003-03-02 03:33:11 AM  
I narrowly avoided being detained on Halloween on 97.. Fortunatly my friend who had passed out to do a conflict with the anti psychotic medication and the malt liquor was woken by police and went into a mad rage that created the diversion for me to slip away and he was head butting polic officers and eating mace.
2003-03-02 03:33:48 AM  
This is a good thread for this late at night. I needed something to keep me company.

To give me my most recent speeding ticket, the cop had to have doubled the posted limit for over a mile to catch me, just a function of heavy traffic on a two-lane highway. All to give me 10mph-over ticket. It begs the question of when a cop is risking more lives than saving them.

TANGENT! History Channel is showing a lot of those laughable Drugs Fund Terrorists ads tonight. Ashcroft Nation!
2003-03-02 03:34:32 AM  
Zelkova, You've been pulled over 20+ times in one year??? Dear GOD stay off my road!
2003-03-02 03:38:15 AM  
Coffee2go4me -> Sounds like the cops here. Took 4 of them to pull me over and tell me that "it looked like you might have swerved into the other lane". Took the ID of the passenger in my car as well. And when I put my registration back in the glove box, he saw a ziplock bag in there and freaked out... God forbid I have a plastic bag full of screws/etc. for my partially disassembled car stereo. I've also been pulled over for not having a front license plate... when I didn't have any plates at all. Still had a temp. permit because the car was a week old. Out local law enforcement is great. I love seeing them harassing/searching 12 year olds for riding their bikes on the sidewalk while right behind them people run red lights and drive like complete jackasses.

I've gotten two actual tickets, though. One a couple of years ago (speeding, 84 in a posted 65) which I totally deserved. The other was for "failure to obey a traffic control device". I pulled out to see around a bush before crossing a street, and a van which was speeding in the bike lane hit the driver's side of my car. So on top of losing my car (cops made me at fault), tons of headaches with insurance/bills, and broken bones... I get a $300 fine and 20 hours of community service.

2003-03-02 03:38:48 AM  
Once upon a time, I was ticketed for smoking a cigarette on a subway platform by an undercover Police Officer. Approximately two weeks later, I received a Summons to Appear in Court. I had to take a half a day off from work to plead guilty to smoking in front of a Municipal Court Judge. I was fined and had to pay Court Costs, which totaled $165.00. That was my first and only appearence in a Court of Law to date.

To this day, I hope that cop chokes on a f*cking donut.
2003-03-02 03:39:08 AM  
On the subject of cops, in high school a friend of mine and I decided to jump into the town swimming pool at 2 in the morning. We climb the building, run across the roof and make about a 10 ft jump to barely make it in the pool. I get out to see him climbing the high dive, so I follow and when we get out and run to the car we take off. So we're sitting there, wet, in our underwear and my friend looks over and says, "If we get pulled over, I'm telling the cop we're gay" Glad we didn't get pulled over.
2003-03-02 03:41:16 AM  
oh yeah, when my fiance went to court over that ticket, the judge looked at it and laughed like it was a joke but decided he had to rule on it somehow and gave him 30days probation and court costs, but that was all
2003-03-02 03:41:20 AM  
Satan_duh: Never got the warning, but beat a Viper on the road. ;P

Track's another story. Road Atlanta training day I got biatch-slapped in acceleration, but meh, ob-la-di...

/Stealth RT/TT 15G Borla/Denso?Kenne/HKS etc etc

Sniff...I really miss that car, now I check out eBay Motors at least once a week for a base TT.

Good times.
2003-03-02 03:42:41 AM  
No tickets, but warnings: one for hitting a cop in the head with an iceball, and one for building an obstacle course out of snow on main street in my hometown.
2003-03-02 03:44:56 AM  
While driving a 67 4door Chevelle painted black with bbq grill paint and spray can flames late at night, I was pulled over on Boston Freeway ramp by motorcycle cop because car was blowing smoke from exhaust. He almost colapsed from fumes as he walked up to me. He said he could shoot me because the exhaust were killing him! He let me off with a warning when he got another call on the radio.
I never fixed the exhaust problem and drove the car until it died.
2003-03-02 03:46:01 AM  
Getting cited for excessive noise in my apartment. From among never ending complaints of my psycho neighbors in college.

And yes, just before midnight New Year's Eve among all the fireworks already going off outside.

/still in disbelief

P.S. Soundgarden's Big Dumb Sex cranked up at midnight felt relieving.
2003-03-02 03:46:48 AM  
"Failure to control speed" I hit some black ice in an old mazda and spun around 360 degrees right in to a driveway like I parked it.The cop took five minutes to stop laughing before he asked for my license and registration.
2003-03-02 03:47:56 AM  
Got a ticket for skateboarding in my old neigbor's empty was a breakin charge, I was only 14, damn old ladies,

2003-03-02 03:51:24 AM  
I was pulled over once. It was in a dark road with deep drainage ditches on either side. I had just turned 16, just got my license, and was coming home late from work (Wal~Mart).

Lights go on behind me. I'm scared shiatless because I just got my license a couple weeks prior and my dad is a real biatch about these things.

I pull over, and Big Fat Old Cop gets out of the car. I could see in my rearview that there was another cop in the passenger seat of the car. Well, Big Fat Old Cop walks up to my lowered window, and asks that I step out of the car.

I'm scared to death, and shakily get out of the car. The moment I'm free from the door he grabs me and throw me on the hood. And I'm not talking a quick shove. He pushes me as hard as he can and whips out the cuffs.

So here I am, standing cuffed on Bliss Road in Sarasota, FL, with Big Fat Old Cop calling me a "stupid coont" and yelling that I probably thought I was "pretty smart" to evade capture for so long.

The Skinny Tall Young Cop jumps out of the car and tells Big Fat Old Cop to let me go, and that he had the "wrong guy."

After explaining to me that I apparently matched the desription (as did my car) of a guy who's raped a couple girls in the area, they let me know that I should be happy I wasn't in jail. Then they left, but not before Big Fat Old Cop called me a "stupid little punk."

I should have sued them for a new pair of pants. Brown doesn't go too well with khaki.
2003-03-02 03:52:53 AM  
I was pulled over once. It was in a dark road with deep drainage ditches on either side. I had just turned 16, just got my license, and was coming home late from work (Wal~Mart).

Lights go on behind me. I'm scared shiatless because I just got my license a couple weeks prior and my dad is a real biatch about these things.

I pull over, and Big Fat Old Cop gets out of the car. I could see in my rearview that there was another cop in the passenger seat of the car. Well, Big Fat Old Cop walks up to my lowered window, and asks that I step out of the car.

I'm scared to death, and shakily get out of the car. The moment I'm free from the door he grabs me and throw me on the hood. And I'm not talking a quick shove. He pushes me as hard as he can and whips out the cuffs.

So here I am, standing cuffed on Bliss Road in Sarasota, FL, with Big Fat Old Cop calling me a "stupid coont" and yelling that I probably thought I was "pretty smart" to evade capture for so long.

The Skinny Tall Young Cop jumps out of the car and tells Big Fat Old Cop to let me go, and that he had the "wrong guy."

After explaining to me that I apparently matched the desription (as did my car) of a guy who's raped a couple girls in the area, they let me know that I should be happy I wasn't in jail. Then they left, but not before Big Fat Old Cop called me a "stupid little punk."

I should have sued them for a new pair of pants. Brown doesn't go too well with khaki.

Now with voting, ya cellists.
2003-03-02 03:53:10 AM  
I got a ticket from the National Park Service for running great falls rapids on the potomac on the border of MD and VA in the Middle of the Day. $200 fine I was pissed but had a good time.
My friend ran it the next day and got stuck in the middle of the rapids they had to get a chopper to get him off they made him pay for the chopper fuel $2000 he is a pure asshat.

PS I still cant spell
2003-03-02 03:53:23 AM  
Vegita6_13, only twice for speeding, 1 for missing headlight, 2 or 3 for brakelights not working properly. Forgot what others were for.

Cops like to follow young men who have goatees and spikey hair, kinda blows. those stupid cops profiling.

I'm a great driver, just cops don't like it when tires spin. Amazingly I can get tires to spin on a dieing v6 Tbird. gonna be fun on my new '67 mustang.
2003-03-02 03:55:49 AM  
Oh yeah, I forgot about jaywalking! I was visiting a friend in California, we were going to another friends house and at this intersection we were standing there for about two minutes with not a car moving and all the lights were red. We were like "screw it" and ran across the road. Immediately the fuzz cut us off and we ended up doing 6 hrs community service washing cop cars and other stuff around the stattion. Funny thing is we walked out of there with bags full of illegal fireworks from their little confiscation room. Those were the days
2003-03-02 03:56:17 AM  
oh yeah a couple for not signaling when NO ONE was around other then the cop. Too bad my dad wont get pulled over for teh same thing, he NEVER signals. I usually do when I feel paranoid.

I would really love to take classes on stunt driving and stuff like that.
2003-03-02 03:59:08 AM  
This one beats everthing...

I got a ticket for:
Wait for it..


i was parked outside my own house on the little strip of lawn, and got pinged $100 bucks...
2003-03-02 04:09:25 AM  
A couple years ago I was leaving work late at night and headed to Denny's with a co-worker to get some chow. Didn't break any traffic laws at all on the way, but got pulled over by a cop right as I turned into the Denny's parking lot. He was following and just decided to run my plate for no reason and discovered that I had a warrant for an FTA on an inspection sticker ticket that I missed (totally my fault, but still, I was driving like a Saint) so I got the cuffs thrown on me in the Denny's parking lot with all the diners staring at me w/ mouths full of Grand Slam and bad coffee. Spent the night in the slammer and was fined for all my horrible misdeeds. Oh, and it was my birthday. You can bet I'll never FTA again.
2003-03-02 04:10:41 AM  
Oops. Now with voting

A couple years ago I was leaving work late at night and headed to Denny's with a co-worker to get some chow. Didn't break any traffic laws at all on the way, but got pulled over by a cop right as I turned into the Denny's parking lot. He was following and just decided to run my plate for no reason and discovered that I had a warrant for an FTA on an inspection sticker ticket that I missed (totally my fault, but still, I was driving like a Saint) so I got the cuffs thrown on me in the Denny's parking lot with all the diners staring at me w/ mouths full of Grand Slam and bad coffee. Spent the night in the slammer and was fined for all my horrible misdeeds. Oh, and it was my birthday. You can bet I'll never FTA again.
2003-03-02 04:13:52 AM  
A couple of years back,a friend and I got tickets after the cop followed us around for 15 minutes or more until he got us for speeding thru a 3 foot construction area (which means double fine, then they (cop and rookie) damn-near strip searched us and the car. Then made us wait in the cold for 30 minutes in 20 degree weather without coats(they didn't want to risk us having stuff hidden in them they said) while they interrogated us and re-searched the car with more cops and dogs, all because we were 16 and his dad's cigars were in the glove dept., they insisted we had been high (we weren't, we were pissed and cold), and they said we were going to put pot in the cigars (we weren't). We got tickets for minors in possesion of tobacco, even though his dad corrected the cops. Damn COPS
2003-03-02 04:16:24 AM  
I once got a ticket for "entering a gas station through the exit?" I found this quite bizarre as it was a very sparcely(sp?) populated rest stop off of I90 in Illinois. I went to court to contest it and the cop didn't show up. So I moved for a dismissal and won. I read a few years later in the newspaper that this cop was murdered by his wife or someone associated with his wife. Karma bites back big i guess.
2003-03-02 04:22:30 AM  
I was given a ticket for loitering because I spent too much time reading the headline of this ridiculous "story." A vote for me is a vote for TFer control of what stories get approved for the main page!

Ah the joys of the Fark Generation. Whiny SOB's who complain about having to read more than 8 words (the agony!) strung together on a portion of a website that is farking free. A vote for them is a vote for pretentious a-holes.
2003-03-02 04:23:40 AM  
My brother was at a party making the move on some girl in the front seat of his friend, Steve's, car. The friend was passed out in the back. When my brother sees the cops arrive he (impeccable drunken logic kicking in) figures he better split, so he fires the car up and proceeds down the road, bumping into cars/fences/mailboxes as he goes. When he sees the flashing red and blue behind him he freaks out because (what else?) he is too young to drive. So he yells at his passed out buddy and gets him into the driver's seat and switches places. His buddy has no comprehension of what's going on and - no surprise - gets thrown in the cell and loses his licence. But Steve gets his licence back since my brother was able to prove in court that it was he who was driving.

Incidentally, not long after, the cop who pulled them over that night (a bit of a Nazi) got fired from the force and went on to work with the LAPD, where he was warmly received.
2003-03-02 04:28:50 AM  
Too late for voting, and it's not even my story but I think it's a good one.

My mother got a ticket for jaywalking one morning on the way to work. The bus pulled up to her stop while she was still across the street, so she ran against the light (there was no traffic) and hopped on the bus. She showed her pass and went to sit down.

She started going through her briefcase, and was wearing a walkman, so she didn't at first hear the cop who had followed her on the bus, standing over her going "Ma'am.. ma'am.. ma'am.."

Jaywalking ticket. If I was her I would have contested it.
2003-03-02 04:31:24 AM  
The dumbest ticket I got was for not wearing a helmet while riding a bike. I was 12, and at that time, wearing a helmet while biking was equivalent to walking around naked in school. A lot of kids, including me, stopped riding their bikes to school because of that crap law.

I got two tickets while riding a bike, and none yet from driving a car.
2003-03-02 04:34:47 AM  
My old man got pulled over once for running a red light but the cop forgot to pull the two people that ran it AFTER my dad. My dad actually ended up taking the cop to court because the cop wrote the ticket wrong...said this event occurred in the AM when it really happened in the PM. My old man had a pretty viable case and the judge ended up farking him over too. He said it didn't matter what time the ticket said, the event still happened.

As for me, I've only received a warning. I'm still cool.
2003-03-02 04:38:40 AM  
Absolutely true: Was meeting my girlfriend for lunch about 5 months ago and I get stopped in a radar trap a few blocks from the restaurant. Jerkoff cop gives me a 52 in a 45 zone ticket. I get to lunch late and my girl isn't there. So I sit down and she walks in 20 minutes later. Turns out, she was running late and went through the same radar trap with the same cop. She was going 72 in the same 45 zone with no registration; giggles, smiles and gets a warning.

All cops suck, more buildings should fall on there asses.
2003-03-02 04:39:06 AM  
I wasn't ticketed, but I was picked up after curfew (when I was 16). The funny part is I got caught at the 24-hour doughnut shop. It was something like 4am and curfew for minors was 10pm.
2003-03-02 04:41:25 AM  
SlackrMatt: It's an urban legend that inconsequential data on a ticket (such as time of day, color of vehicle, ethnicity of ticket recipient) can cause the entire ticket null and void.
2003-03-02 04:49:49 AM  
Back when I was working night shifts, I was driving home after work at about 2am Monday morning (or Sunday night if you like) and there was absolutely no other traffic anywhere. The city was deserted.

Then, as I go through an intersection, this big, dark Commodore pulls out from the adjoining road and cuddles up behind me.

Now, there were three lands on the road, and this guy decided to pick mine and tailgate. Seriously, I thought he was trying to climb into the back seat. Then I noticed there were two guys in the car.

And it was following me around every corner.

I was getting a little edgy and suspicious, to I took a few erroneous turns to mix things up a little and just to see what would happen and sure enough the car followed me everywhere, sticking righ on my arse, headlights graring in my mirrors making it hard to see.

So, obviously, I got kinda scared, thinking he was following me, so I headed towards home, trying to think of some sort of contingency plan in case he followed me up the driveway (and I'm ashamed to say I couldn't think of any bright ideas).

I managed to catch a few orange lights, scooting though at the last moment in the vain hope he might just be a law-abiding driver after all and stop for the lightslike a a ood boy. But he didn't, and the car kept right on my tail for block after block.

Then I decided to try a sudden lane change to see if he would jump back in behind me...

He did.

And then I saw the blue and red lights flash on the dashboard.

It was an unmarked police car. They had followed me for the length of the city and a whole suburb. They had followed far too close, blinding me with their lights and generally acting like creepy arseholes.

And then they had the cheek to cite me for "erratic driving."

2003-03-02 04:54:31 AM  
Get this! My brother's a nurse in the E.R. and he can do basically anything he wants while driving, so long as he has his outfit on or his hospital ID in the car! Cops have a fear that by giving him a ticket they may not get help if they end up in the ER. And if it's a hard-nosed cop, he just says "it's an emergency" flashes the ID and speeds off. It works, I've seen it! Sooo boys and girls if you don't want tickets, become a nurse or doc!!
2003-03-02 04:56:44 AM  
rolled a stop sign at 6 in the morning after dropping my mom off at work. i had had my license for 3 weeks and it was taken away for 2 months. officer was a huge prick about it too, stop sign was hidden.
2003-03-02 04:57:31 AM  
Of course you're gonna get busted in a doughnut shop! What were you thinking?!? They have nowhere else to go!
2003-03-02 05:02:48 AM  
50 bones for not cramping my wheels to the curb.
2003-03-02 05:15:27 AM  
Public Nudity. :\
2003-03-02 05:25:01 AM  
Onceler, I think more buildings should fall on self-centered asshats who drive 30 mph over the limit for no good reason. What's that? Never been in an accident where the car has hit a pedestrian? Maybe, maybe not. I have, however, and let me tell you that it is scary as shiat and not an experience I would wish on anyone. No, I wasn't the driver, but that didn't make it any less freaky. We were speeding just 8-10 mph over the limit, and nailed some poor dude walking home just around a curve. There are consequences to speeding other than tickets. The lives of you and yours aren't the only ones you are responsible for once you get behind the wheel of a car, period.
2003-03-02 05:30:16 AM  
I took a road trip from Phoenix up to Seattle last spring break.. all the way through Arizona and California, I was doing 100+ mph (except for LA and Sacromento), never once saw a cop.. I was in Souther Oregon (around Medford) and I got pulled over for doing 67 in a 65. The farker wrote me a ticket for speeding and traveling at excess speed for conditions (it was snowing very, very lightly.. the roads weren't even wet yet).
2003-03-02 05:31:28 AM  
one night i got a ticket for spinning my tires while exiting a parking lot, because the cop thought i was trying to show off to some people nearby in a performance car club. except i guess the cop didn't realize that a ford escort with a 90 horsepower engine is not something that one would intentionally try to show off.
and it was on a slicker brick surface (fancy crosswalk surface), so there was significantly less friction, making the tires spin very easily.

cost me $174.
2003-03-02 05:33:34 AM  
In Morrow County Ohio, 2 Amish guys were pulled over and cited for, get this, "Drag racing their horse and buggies".
2003-03-02 05:35:39 AM  
Irishlad did the guy croak?
2003-03-02 05:43:43 AM  
Same thing happened to a hallmate of mine. Of course he was planning on stealing one of the CTA maps... He was dragged into the station, pulled the "yo hablo espanol" bit, then when the translator came in to talk to him he switched to a full Spanish dialect. They ended up letting him go after detaining him for a few hours.
2003-03-02 05:49:42 AM  
failure to maintain right lane on the highway.
umm...I plead not guilty on account of EVERYONE DOES IT!!!
2003-03-02 05:51:56 AM  
In summer of 98, my girlfriend was in Cali visiting family for the summer. I decided to drive out the (Dallas to L.A.) to visit her and see Cali since I had never been there. To make a long story short, less than 24 hours after I got there, her best friend got shot and killed back here in Dallas, so I droped her at LAX and headed back to Dallas to support her at the funeral.

About an hour east of L.A. I am driving and a C.H.P officer who had just entered the highway decides to follow me. Yeah I was 21 at the time with long hair, a lowered Civic, and Texas plates, so it is profiliing at its best. The cop follows be for over ten miles, all the while I am making sure I drive perfect. But the arsehole has me nervous so I break out a smoke. Five miles later and he is still on my tail and I'm done with my smoke. Any of you who own a Civic know that they don't come with ashtrays, so of course, without thinking, I flip the butt out the window. Welp, needless to say, that gave the cop the excuse to pull me over. The prick questions me for twenty minutes about why I am in Cali, am I a drug dealer, etc. I explained to the cop exactly what had happened, me being a tourist who had to abrubtply leave the state due to a death. The cop then asks me why I flipped the cigarette out on the road. I told him the truth, that after so long of him following me, I was nervous so I had a smoke, and when I was done, I had no ashtray to put the smoke in. The cop tells me that I have made a costly mistake and that the ticket he was writing me would cost me 1500 bucks. 1500 for littering I asked him? He then gets an attitude and tells me that I should read California penal codes before visiting because there is an actual penal code specifically for throwing out cigarettes on interstate highways in Cali. Like you get a copy of the law books alond with your tourist maps.

So I take the ticket and get off the highway at the rest stop a mile down the road. I call my folks back home so vent and my dad pretty much laughs and calls me a moron. So I get back on the road and I get stuck behind an 18 wheeler. We had just entered the desert and this truck is kicking stones up on my windshield. Since I didn't want to get a broken window, I step on the gas to pass the guy. BAM!! C.H.P. again. This time I get an 87mph in a 70mph ticket.

Ten miles, two tickets, and my viewing of Ponch and John completely shattered. I drove straight through to Dallas. I got back in my home city around 4AM the next morning, and had to be up at 8AM for the funeral service. As I was cruising through residential streets (I was pretty much delirious from being up so long) I completely did not see a stop sign till the last minute. I did try to stop and was not speeding, but by the time I hit the brakes, I was into the intersection, so I just brake checked it and kept going. Damn local cop eating his donuts on a side street saw me and gave me a ticket for failure to stop.

All in all, 48 of 72 hours on the road, three tickets, no sleep, a piss poor view of Cali, a ruined view of C.H.i.P.s., and a funeral. And I got pissed on by a lion while in Cali......but thats a story in itself.
2003-03-02 05:57:57 AM  

I was pulled over and given this list of citations back when I used to have my "low rider" mini truck...

Noise pollution (truck's stereo too loud)window tint too dark (a normal thing for everyone in Vegas)Tint on windshield (just plain illegal)truck too low (not 24", which was said to be factory, off the ground to center of headlamps)(a stock Honda civic is 22")Not using my signal while moving over....when he was PULLING ME OVERNot changing my address on my registration ( I had moved THAT WEEKEND!)no seat belt (/dumbass)Obstruction of view (I had a 'wall' of subwoofers in the ex-cab....but did have a camper this one was bullshiat)carrying an air tank in an unsafe manner (had one hooked up to the air bags)

nice list uhn?

2003-03-02 06:07:20 AM  
I once got a ticket for doing 45 in a School Zone.
On a Saturday.
In July.

The only other ticket besides that was my last day in the States before shipping out to the UK. I was doing about 90 in a 70. Cop asked for the Reg/Ins. He say the Military ID and PCS Orders. "Be safe, have fun tonight, and try to slow down" was all that was said.

Just goes to show there will always be a Good Cop and an Asshat Cop wherever you go.
2003-03-02 06:35:57 AM  
Maestro wins.
2003-03-02 06:54:03 AM  
Sheesh. Talk about abuse. But then, that's what you get for having like 7000 police departments in a country..

However Virtual_Mischief .. screw you. People who smoke in no smoking areas deserve everything they get.
2003-03-02 06:55:01 AM  
i hit a patch of black ice once. driving my big red dodge. i swerved off the road, into a ditch, up the other side, and right into a tree. totaled the truck. i had to walk to a farm house and call a tow truck and a ride. the cops got there before the tow truck did. i got hit with careless driving, failure to report, and leaving the seen of an accident.
2003-03-02 06:58:49 AM  
i got another ticket once in a bronco. i was going 81 in a 55. in va. that's wreckless driving. i had to go to court 11 days before i left for japan for the next three years. i got a $300 fine and 10 days suspended jail time. haha on them though. i never paid a dime. now my driving privledges are suspended there indefinitly. fark va. why would i ever want to go there again.
2003-03-02 07:29:16 AM  
In San Diego we have an 8 mph speed limit on the boardwalk. I got my first set of rollerblades in 1988, and when me and my friend Brian were hauling butt up the walk, maybe 30 mph, a cop on a mountain bike cut us off so bad that Brian had to jump over the seawall into the sand to keep from beefing this farking pig on a bike. I swear, with those stupid helmets they look just like Jehovah's Witnesses. Anyway, we got tickets for skating over the speed limit on the boardwalk, $35 each. Meh.
2003-03-02 07:37:09 AM  
I got a summons for driving without a license (wait for it)....

I moved to New York from Kansas to live with my dad after my parents got divorced. I got my license in Kansas. The procedure in New York state for out of state licenses requires that you surrender the out of state license, and they send you a NYS license in the mail.

Well, when I went to the DMV and gave them my license, some lady put x where y goes, and accidentally surrendered my 5 minute old NYS license to Kansas. DMV in Kansas made the assumption that since I had a NYS license, my Kansas state license was no longer valid.

I had just bought a new car with a 5-speed. Having driven a standard transmission maybe twice in my life, I was still a little shaky with the whole clutch/gas thing, especially on inclines. I was at a light and the cop was behind me, the light turns green and I accidentally chirp the tires.

When I asked the cop why he pulled me over, he said, "the sticker in your back windshield is blocking the view". The sticker was maybe 2 inches tall.

This was 2 years ago. I still don't have my license.
2003-03-02 07:47:25 AM  
i got pulled over once but not ticketed for having my 10yr old brother sitting in the back of my bronce. we were at a state park on a summer day. i had the roof off. a park rander pulled me over because he thought a minor was riding in the back of a pickup. he was sitting in the back seat with his seat belt on. then he yelled at me for going "way to fast". since he didn't havae a radar (he was just a ranger) i got no ticket.
2003-03-02 07:51:10 AM  
I'm a field tech for a small local computer service company, and I had an early morning appointment in Annopolis just this past week. Since the state legislature is in session, parking in the garages is tough after 9:30 AM or so. I arrived about 9:15 and proceeded to check FIVE different parking garages within a 10 minute walk- no dice. So I drove around the area looking for street parking and after another 15 minutes of searching, I found a meter right across the street from my appointment with a two hour limit. I figured it would be super easy for me to jump out there and put more quarters in as needed. So I parked, checked my phone for the time (it was 9:45) and made a mental note to be back out at 11:45. When I went back to put more money in the meter, I saw the metermaid 2 cars behind mine and thought 'wow, I just made it.' Nope, I had a ticket and the timestamp said 11:45- my phone said 11:47. So I chalked it up as my fault, I know I was (two farkin' minutes) late and deserved the ticket, but I thought 'I just payed $15 for this parking spot, that meter is getting no more quarters from me,' and I went back inside. When I finished the service visit and walked out to my car later in the afternoon, there was a SECOND ticket over the first- this one was for $25. And it was signed by the same damn metermaid! I understand that she was only doing her job, but dammit, I already owed the damn city more than fair market (meter) value for that space, why the hell was there a need for more? Farkin' revenue generators.

It was my first (and second!!!) parking ticket ever (I've been driving for 10 years) so I was a little pissed, but on the drive home I got a phone call from the HR dept. of a company with which I had applied for a position with earlier, and they extended a generous offer to me and wanted to know when I could start. So that made up for it. There will be no more oppurtunities for me to get parking tickets at my new job- w00t!
2003-03-02 07:52:41 AM  
I've never understood how people talk their way out of tickets all the time (from what I hear?)
I've been pulled over once, been given one ticket. It was 2 weeks after I got my license, charge was failure to yield or some crap like that. Cop didn't care I was still a n00b. Bah. Warning my ass.
2003-03-02 08:00:09 AM  
Funny thing is, not too many moons ago I was with a friend who took his crappy pickup up to 115 mph (hey it's just a 4 banger) through a well known speed trap area. Never got caught, was like 2 in the afternoon on a cloudy day near the beach, no cars around. Funny how ya never see cops when they SHOULD be pulling people over :P
2003-03-02 08:01:42 AM  
Irish: *clueless* What's FTA?
2003-03-02 08:08:31 AM  
Ok this isn't a ticket, but when I was like 12 I got a stern talking to from a cop because I "cut out into the street" on my bike. I had been riding on the sidewalk (bad, I know I know) and I had to ride into the street to avoid running into him and this little old lady who was arguing with him about something or other(there were cars parked near them so I couldn't use the bike lane). So a car had to slow down to avoid hitting me. Yeah, stupid thing for me to do I guess, but you'd think he'd give me a talking to for riding on the sidewalk instead? Afterall a bicycle is supposedly a vehicle with rights to the street the same as any car. If a bicyclist is in the street, they have right of way (ie if they need to change lanes so they can turn left at an intersection, or, if in this case, there are parked cars in the bike lane). My town is hell for cyclists anyway. Narrow old streets with no bike lanes and asshole yuppies in SUVs.
2003-03-02 08:18:49 AM  
FTA=Failure To Appear
2003-03-02 08:22:43 AM  
Was a little hurried going to work one AM, stopped in the Convenience Store for my Coffee and was on my way, Half paying attention to the Road and Half paying attention to the Cup of Hot Coffee in my hand.

Apparently I then passed a stopped School Bus which is Illegal in this State. A Balto. County Cop came out of Nowhere and pulled me over. So he walks up to my car and I politely ask him what I can do for him. He says "You passed a Stopped School Bus with it's Flashers on." Honestly, I never Noticed it and said, "What School Bus?" The Officer then Quipped "What, d'ya need Glasses?"

I then looked him in the face directly over the Top of my Wire Rimmed Bi-Focals and said "I'm Wearing Them!"

I guess he realized his Mistake and just issued me a Warning Ticket.
2003-03-02 08:29:04 AM  
honest to god true story... please vote for me

omg... i was issued so many STUPID 20 dollar university tickets i lost count....

got a ticket for being parked facing the wrong direction...

got a ticket for being parked in an after 7 lot at 6:59pm

got a ticket for driving through a security barrier... actually fought that one, found out a police officer put up a barrier on the access road to the lot i parked in an hour AFTER i parked there....

got a ticket for parking in a metered spot... even though someone had stolen the meter 2 weeks earlier and it was empty....

and my all time favorite... i was ticketed for parking without a visible permit... as it was hanging on my window... clear as day... and... to top it... they booted my car cause it was my 5th ticket that semester...

i was so pissed i deflated my tire, put my spare on, and threw the boot in the trunk of my car... they booted me 3 more times that semester... i even started parking in reserved spots to GET boots just so i could build up a collection...

in the end... the university police showed up at my door and nicely asked for their boots back given i had collected all 6 of their boots and they had no more...

in a brilliant stroke of luck... i was able to trade their boots back for ammunity to all my tickets :)

after that, i say that there is a god... and i AM him...
i am the light... follow me and you shall see the path
i am the truth... follow me and you shall know the way
2003-03-02 08:29:17 AM  
Thanks Chopster. Shoulda thought of that :\

Question for the thread: Do they still give cops quotas?
And if so: WHY?
2003-03-02 08:31:50 AM  
Smurfablin: Haaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha!
Brilliant! :) I'll hafta remember that one. Hahaha
2003-03-02 08:36:35 AM  
So here I was in my HIGHLY modified '95 Mustang GT... We're talking 11 second drag car here... And I decided to antagonize and play with a new Dodge Viper on the way outta town...

Last time I examined my speedo I was hittine better than 140. The Viper had blown me away ENTIRELY. Local cop pulled me over and chastised me for not beating the punk kid in the Viper from the next town over. Funny non-ticket that still gets me mad respect in my home town.

2003-03-02 08:39:42 AM  
smurf I think youre full of shiat but you get my vote for most amusing fairy tale
2003-03-02 08:44:50 AM  
I find it hilarious when FARKers whine about getting caught doing something wrong. Like some dumba$$ speeding on a bike against traffic. LMAO! It's dangerous you idiot! You shoulda gotten worse!


Now why are we voting?
2003-03-02 08:47:23 AM  
Lapdance -
did you hit any of those kids coming off the school bus?
2003-03-02 08:52:30 AM  
I got a ticket for running a stop sign -- on an intersection which didn't have a stop sign. I fought that one in court, got my money back.
2003-03-02 08:59:40 AM  
My friend once got pulled over on Canada day for no reason.
We had just come from buying fireworks from the local Hasty Market, and the cop followed us for about 5 minutes before realizing we weren't going to make any mistakes.

So he pulls over my friend and starts asking him questions.
"Why was I pulled over?" asks my friend, a little angry because he hadn't done anything.
"In a second," answers the cop. "Do you have your license and registration?"
My friend didn't have the registration. He had lost the old one and was waiting for the new one to arrive by mail or something. So he told the cop this, at the end asking, "but why was I pulled over?"
"One second," said the cop, going back to his cruiser to check the plates. He thought the car was stolen.

So after a few minutes, the cop comes back and writes my friend a $110 Canadian (so like $15 or $16 American) for 'failure to prove registration', a registration he didn't have at the time because the DMV or whatever government-funded organization was too farking slow to mail it to him already.
2003-03-02 09:29:49 AM  
Camping at the beach:

"Disturbing the Tranquility of Others"

I've still got the ticket.
2003-03-02 09:30:38 AM  
Failure to Enable Voting:

Camping at the beach:

"Disturbing the Tranquility of Others"

I've still got the ticket.
2003-03-02 09:31:54 AM  
Not me, my mom. When she was living in California, she was pulled over, on her bike, on the way home from Taco Bell (I'm friggin' serious here... of course, this is her story, so I shall never know), and got a ticket for speeding. Mind you, she's about 12 at the time. What in the hell is in the water there?
2003-03-02 09:33:50 AM  
"My friend got a $130 dollar ticket for "traveling in the passing lane" lost his licence too."

I really wish more people would get that one.

Oh and, mine...
Backing into a parking space. :eyeroll:
2003-03-02 09:49:01 AM  
a vote for me is a vote for all those who didn't read the article or all of the above comments.
2003-03-02 09:54:18 AM  
It's funny, all of these tickets, for stupid, inane things, yet I've NEVER seen anyone get pulled over for driving in the shoulder. Ever.
2003-03-02 09:55:19 AM  
I had to take a whiz in a hurry while stuck in traffic once so I pulled on the shoulder, ran up a hill to some trees where it would be relatively private, and took the whiz up there. At that point, the only other options were to piss in my pants or in the car.

Anyway, some cop saw this take place and gave me a citation for "failure to use caution".
2003-03-02 10:03:35 AM  
I once got a ticket for hanging my graduation tassel from my rearview mirror...visual obstruction. Also got a ticket in that same town for having 1 (of 2) of the little white lights out that light up your rear license plate. The list goes on...and on.....and on....

[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-02 10:05:04 AM  
A BUI. Riding a bike under the influence of alcohol. It happened about 20 years ago, in the home of the dumbest cops in the U.S., Corvallis, Oregon. Also the home of the Oregon State Beavers.

It's so boring in Corvallis, cops get a person on their radar screen for some stupid little thing, and they follow them around for 2 years. They also like to lie and beat the shiat out of people.
2003-03-02 10:10:04 AM  
I got a citation in high school for carrying a concealed weapon, and it was a bike chain in a backpack. And disorderly conduct for arguing with an officer of da law.

Being 16 at the I knew my civil rights were being violated..
2003-03-02 10:11:39 AM  
When I was in college some friends and I built a potato gun that we used to launch spuds across the campus. One night we got a bag of potatos and went to work. We would load the Spudzooka in the entry way of the dorm then someone would open the door and another would run out and let fly (we paced off launchs as far as 580 feet using Amway bug repellant as fuel, the only thing that crap is good for). We were about half a keg into the festivities when one of the guys ran out the door and in the same motion accidentlly hit the trigger... nailing the cop car that had just pulled up in the driver side window. After the smoke cleared (literally) the only tickets issued were $75 fines for mischief for everyone therer and the cop took the gun. Considering what could have been were were pretty damn lucky (assult on a peace officer with a deadly weapon comes to mind).

For those who have never seen a sud gun, behold:
2003-03-02 10:18:02 AM  
I had a friend who received a ticket for "Intention to do a U-Turn." What was dumb was that my friend had never actually done a U-turn... the cop thought that the driver saw him and decided against doing the U-turn. The judge threw out the ticket as being ridiculous.
2003-03-02 10:28:41 AM  
What's the stupidest ticket you've ever received?

Well, 4 yrs ago in Washington State, I was driving a friend to the airport, and he threw the ice from his cup out of the window. A cop pulled me over, and issued me a littering citation for ICE! When I argued, saying that where it was raining out, the ice would melt before he could go back to collect the "litter", he tried to issue another for hitting his car with said ice. I then told him that if the ice hit him, he was too close for the weather conditions. He cuffed me, but after seeing my military ID, he let me go with the littering fine. $125.00 at that..
2003-03-02 10:29:06 AM  
Back in '75 I got pulled over by FL state trooper for illegal passing. He said my back tire crossed the double yellow of a no passing zone, the rest of the car was in a legal passing zone. Dumbass...
The best part was that I had to put my beer on the hood so I could sign the ticket. This was in the days before open container laws...
2003-03-02 10:29:49 AM  
A guy at my school once parked his 2-door Geo Metro (one of the REALLY tiny ones)almost totally sideways in a parking space. They gave him a ticket because his front bumper was about an inch over the line.
2003-03-02 10:38:34 AM  
a cop was waiting at the local speed trap all day.

if you look carefully, you can see him usually, but this day he moved.

i was going about 95 in a 55, on a local highway.

he said to me
"i've been waiting here all day for you" ...
"But Officer, i tried to get here as fast as i could" ...

he tried to say the 'do you know how fast you were going?' thing, but couldn't make it all out... he collapsed into laughter...

he said he was the best one he's ever heard yet, and told me to get the heck out of there, and to slow down.

He didn't make his quota that month.
2003-03-02 10:40:28 AM  
Just last monday morning I was driving down this straight, flat, 25 mph road near my place which I never speed on - usually a school zone (I was a little earlier that day) and very often a place cops like to wait looking for speeders/people without county stickers. I hit a patch of black ice and lost all control of my car. Slid sideways into the opposing lane and this 1986 van that never even slowed down totaled my car. Everything is covered, and I was thinking of selling the thing anyway, so except for some sore muscles it's mostly no big deal. Cop comes out after all is said and done and gives me a ticket for "Driving too fast for conditions". It was a clear sunny, 34 degree morning, the problem was here in Arlington, VA we had that blizzard a week before and had snow plowed into piles along the road. Halfway down the road it was in the sun and had started to melt and refreeze, but just looked like a damp road. I'd just bite the bullet and take the ticket but it's apparantly considered a reckless - 6 pts! Anyone know if fighting this thing is a lost cause?
2003-03-02 10:49:03 AM  
Sixteen. Licensed for a few weeks. Coming home from work, run a yellow light. Cop "teaches" me that running a yellow light is just as bad as running a red light. $165 for the violation. And another $165 because on of the tail lights on my dad's truck (not brake light or turn signal- just the back lights that comes on when you turn on your lights) is broken. The farking thing had a cracked plastic covering.

I hate Oregon.
2003-03-02 10:51:29 AM  
After reading some of these, I wonder how anyone can say that cops are evenhanded and just enforce the law. Granted, some people should be whipped by a police officer just for getting out of bed in the morning, but their petty little power trips irritate the shiat out of me.

Makes me glad I live in the land of little traffic. Even so, the cops tried to have my dog put down because she wasn't on a leash.
2003-03-02 10:56:19 AM  
Here's one: Improper turn.

In general, the donut-munching-bastard-cops of Irmo, SC seem to have it out for the pizza delivery guys. Well, I made a right off a really steep incline (the kind where you end up rolling down before you power your way back onto the main road) and ended up pulling in front of somebody. Guys flashes me his brights, and I assume it's all good. Well, the cop wheels around, and pulls me over. Naturally, he asks me if I know wha I did, to which I replied, ""

Well, after get kvetched for almost getting killed, he let me on my merry way with a ticket for "improper turn".
Stupid asshat cop.
2003-03-02 11:19:20 AM  
We have a loitering law in this town, but only during summer months, and only if you're under 18. Dumbasses. I know a lot of people who were picked up b/c they wanted to sit outside (there are tables in the town centre, but we're not allowed to sit there), and the cops thought they looked like trouble.

Cops have too much time on their hands if they're concerned about a bunch of 16 year olds.
2003-03-02 11:22:11 AM  
I live in Wisconsin, where we get completely taken over in the summer by jackasses from Chicago. I own a place "up North" in a resort area, and was driving up Highway 51 to get there, (about a three/four hour drive). I drive that route a lot, approximately 2 times per month, and hate all of the FIBs (F*$cking Illinois Bastards) that also drive it. I made a sign that said, "Go Home FIBS" and put it in my back window.

I got pulled over and warned to take it down, although I didn't get a ticket. The cop said, "no matter how much I agree with you, you can't antagonize everyone else on the road." Then he said something about how the FIBS were good for leaving their money in Wisconsin, anyhow, and how he liked to ticket them. After that, I felt pretty good taking my sign down.
2003-03-02 11:23:40 AM  
On a road trip, in Maryland, we got a ticket for "being pederstrians on the highway" while we took our picture at the "entering Maryland" sign.

The best part was the MARYLAND cop gaves the "you boys from up north treatment" - Maryland, not Alabama, please.
2003-03-02 11:25:17 AM  
When I was 14 I was a paperboy. I got a $10 ticket for riding a bike after dark without a light. Some asshat cop was filling in and wanted to look good. The cop that usually covered my route took the ticket and had it voided.
2003-03-02 11:25:36 AM  

The ticket you got is the police officer saying that the accident is your fault -- or at least more your fault than the other guy's. Generally, in a property damage accident, at least one party is ticketed. It makes it a lot easier for the insurance companies to determine who is paying who.
2003-03-02 11:27:02 AM  
Ticket for "unsafe lane change," (Ok, i admit i deserved something, but i had a brainfart, and definitely was not risking anyone's life and property. Maybe "annoying lane change" would have been more appropriate.) $70 bucks, which is a lot on my budget. This was 2 miles north of the Beltway and not far from DC...EVERYONE DOES IT. I know it doesn't make it right. But I was fuming. Rookie cop didn't even bother to tell me there had been 2 random shootings (turns out it was the first day of the sniper fiasco) within a 2 mile radius of where i was pulled over, which was a nasty intersection less than a mile from where I live. Or that, I later found out, my model/color car was on their list of suspicious vehicles. Thanks a ton.

Also, when I was living on campus at U. of MD., my boyfriend had spent the night on a Sunday night, and parked at a meter outside my dorm. We wanted to sleep in, so I went out at 6:45 (meter operation began at 7:00), put $4 (iirc, it was a 4 hour meter at $1 an hour) in the meter and went back to sleep. Went out at 8 or 9 with what I thought was plenty of time left, but it turns out that the meters automatically reset at 7:00. Got a $20 or $25 ticket with a timestamp of 7:05. I took it directly to the Campus parking office where, lucky me, it was voided. Ugh.

I know there are some non-asshat cops and metermaids out there, but they just seem so very very few and far between after reading a few stories like these.
2003-03-02 11:28:32 AM  
No ticket, but it once took six police officers and three squad cars to give me a lecture about carrying objects that can be mistaken for nunchucks in the downtown area. The objects in question were two toy plastic swords that I honestly don't remember why I was carrying. The fact that they feel it takes 6 of them to deal with one me armed with a pair of toys is one hell of a compliment, if you ask me.
2003-03-02 11:34:28 AM  
Also, does anyone ever notice when receiving a ticket that there is a blank on which the cop can write whatever violation he wants? I'm seriously wondering if they can completely make something up and have it be valid. !@#$!%

(I realize I did not enable voting but i don't care enough and it's probably too late.)
2003-03-02 11:37:51 AM  
I had a really fun sportbike race once. Outran 4+ Highway Patrol cars, but got stopped by the roadblock. Damn radios. Had 2 of their cars end up in the ditch with blown radiator hoses. I got up to around 160mph, the max that the bike could do. I think they fell off around 100ish. They weren't too happy about it. Had to walk to work for a few months after that. But, ya know what, that shiat was worth it. Good times, good times.

Got me for 135 in a 70 and reckless driving. I wanted to pipe up and say '135? come on that was 150 easy.' but thought better of it.
2003-03-02 11:41:12 AM  
I received a ticket for having a beer at a bar in Kill Devil Hills NC. I was in a band that traveled a lot. We had just finished our last set and it was 2am. I ASKED the bartender if it was too late to have a beer. He said no and handed me one. I asked because we were in a different county every day, a different state or 2 every week. I can't keep up with all of the local drinking laws/ordinances.
As I was enjoying my brew on the loading dock waiting for our truck, an unmarked cruiser pulled up, the officer got out and asked me what I had in my hand. I said "a beer". He gave me a ticket. IF I HAD BEEN 30 FEET OUTSIDE ON THE SIDEWALK, I would have been OK because there is open conainer 24 hours. The fact that I was on a premisis where alcohol is served after 2am was the violation.
2003-03-02 11:41:51 AM  
This time w/voting
I received a ticket for having a beer at a bar in Kill Devil Hills NC. I was in a band that traveled a lot. We had just finished our last set and it was 2am. I ASKED the bartender if it was too late to have a beer. He said no and handed me one. I asked because we were in a different county every day, a different state or 2 every week. I can't keep up with all of the local drinking laws/ordinances.
As I was enjoying my brew on the loading dock waiting for our truck, an unmarked cruiser pulled up, the officer got out and asked me what I had in my hand. I said "a beer". He gave me a ticket. IF I HAD BEEN 30 FEET OUTSIDE ON THE SIDEWALK, I would have been OK because there is open conainer 24 hours. The fact that I was on a premisis where alcohol is served after 2am was the violation.
2003-03-02 11:44:13 AM  
what are these "points" I keep hearing about?
2003-03-02 11:49:04 AM  
how much time do you have?

My best friend was driving back from the grocery store and went over a high spot in the road where it went over a railroad track. At the same time, a cop was coming from the other direction, and since it was evening my friend had his lights on. Due to the big hump in the road, my friend's lights shined in the cops face. The cop proceeded to turn around and give him a ticket for "bright-lighting a cop".

But wait, my story gets better.

When my friend pointed out that he only had his dims on, proving it by showing that he didn't even have bright lights installed (this was a late 70s firebird where you had 4 headlights, 2 dim and 2 bright) the cop gave him another ticket, this one for "not having bright lights".

Now, think about it. Two tickets simultaneously, one for bright lighting a cop, the other for not having bright lights...neither of which is a ticketable offense...hrm.

2003-03-02 11:53:59 AM  
I'm still dealing with this ticket!

On or about November 2002, I was pulled over by police. I was in the left turn lane and they were on the opposite side of the street making a right turn. Those bastards actually waited for me to turn so they could go after me. Obvious?

Anyhoo, the reason they pulled me over was for having those little blue LED lights on my window washer sprayers. While it was just a fix-it ticket and I went home to fix it immediately, this is where the fun begins.

I went to the traffic division to prove that I had indeed made the correction. Stood in line with all those other dorks with citation problems of their own. When I was called I presented the citation to the clerk. After punching in the citation number she told me it was not in their system and told me to check next week. Okay, I thought. I'll come back next week.

A week passes. I go to the traffic division again. Still, it was not in their system.

This process was repeated two more times, each time paying a $6 non-refundable parking fee, each time yeilding the same result. After the third visit I received a letter from the City of Signal Hill, stating that the citation I was written up for was incorrect. Okay, maybe NOW it will be in their system.

On my 4th visit, with the corrected citiation in hand, I was told the same thign - there was no record of it. I was given a phone number to call to find out what's going on. I was told call in a few weeks, so they could update the system.

While waiting these two weeks I got yet another letter from Signal Hill. This one told me that my simple fix-it ticket, which I had been trying to correct for months now, had turned into a standard ticket because, in their eyes, I had failed to correct the problem in a timely manner. WTF?!?!

I called that number I was given and wasn't told anything I didn't already know - except that the cops in Signal Hill are a bunch of bored, lame-ass dorks who couldn't catch a cold.

Because of this clerical error, I now have to make a court date to prove to these asshats that the correction was made - over three months ago.


I feel better.
2003-03-02 11:55:26 AM  
Remember, that's Signal Hill police. Link didn't work in post above.
2003-03-02 12:07:26 PM  
2MuchC0ffeeMan: That's a good one. Did you get it from the "Joke of the Day?" e-mail list?

Also, the stories that aren't obviously fake are hilarious. Here's mine...
I got a speeding ticket in St. Louis right before I moved to Columbia, MO. So rather than paying It. I decided to go to the traffic school, which is cheaper anyway and you don't get points on your license. Well, due to strep throat and me being a total moron, I missed the court date, so a warrant was issues for FTA.

SO, I head over to the Columbia police department with my little piece of paper and say, "There is a warrat out for my arrest, please arrest me." WELL, apparently since the ticket was issued in St. Louis, I have to take care of in St. Louis. Fine. So I call the police department in St. Louis. THey tell me that since there's a warrant out for my arrest as a result of a moving violation, it would be inadvisable to drive from Columbia, and to get arrested in Columbia.

Anyway, after about 5 hours on the phone I eventually had to drive to St. Louis to get arrested, and the cop who arrested me was the same jackass that pulled me over. He asked what I did and when I said "36 in a 25," he said "Oh, if it were me I wouldn't have given you a ticket.

2003-03-02 12:08:50 PM  
wow.. this killed about 2 and a half hours reading all these. alot of them are of asshats speeding. What really takes the cake though is like, %80 of these tickets could have been avoided if you opened you eyes and saw a cop in back of you!

Whats that? ole black and blue is behind you? dont throw shat out the window! Whats that? some (cop) car is trailing you? Get off at the next turn and PARK Some where! Maestro, you could have avoided 2 tickets just by getting off at the next rest stop. and where did the cop car catch you speeding? let me guess... he was right behind you??
2003-03-02 12:14:03 PM  
my clutch went out on my car and i was trying to get to my sons school to pick him up i came uop to a stop sign and essentially "rolled" thru it because if youve ever driven a car with no clutch you have to keep the clutch and the driving pedal pretty much going at all times, anyhow i admit i rolled thru it but the cop issued that i was going 15 mph (i wasnt) damn ticket cost me $189
2003-03-02 12:20:03 PM  
Onceler. Go to hell and die. My brother is a cop. I resent your childish, stupid, arrogant remark. Fvck you.
2003-03-02 12:32:18 PM  
someone mentioned a cop at their door over an overdue library book, I can beat that easy. I spent 5 hours in jail because of library books that I had returned on time. Dumbass at the library can't find the books, gets the cops to issue a warrant. I'd returned the books the day I moved out of town, 5 days after they'd been checked out from the library. 3 years later I'm passing through that town and get pulled over for turning at night when a cop is in view (it will get you pulled over every time in that town) and they run my license then come back and tell me to get out of the car. They then drive me to the cop shop, make me strip and put on the orange jumpsuit, and throw me in a pitch-black cell and leave me there for 5 hours while my wife drives around to the few people in that state she knew I knew and tries to get someone to bail me out. The cell was so dark I literally could not see a thing. I had to just walk blind with my hands out in front of me until I ran into the double-decker cot. Hearing a couple different people snoring added to the fun. The best part was falling asleep with my hand up above my head over my glasses, then waking up with that whole arm completely asleep and not realizing it was my own hand across my face. I was scared shiatless. After my wife got me out I went on to my parents' and slept for a few hours then went back to that town to the library and told them exactly what day they'd been returned and they dropped the charges.

Missouri sucks
2003-03-02 12:33:17 PM  
this threads prolly done but....

I was pulled over once for speeding.
the cop was heading in the other direction, and I was the only truck on the road heading the other way.

He flipped a bi|ch and stopped me for 65 in a 45. He even wrote on the ticket, "VISUAL ESTIMATION" speeding.

2003-03-02 12:34:26 PM  
One Friday night on Campus at Oregon State, a friend of mine came to pick me up when I still lived in the dorms. After picking me up she went up to the main secton of the campus, which does not permit cars M-F. The intersection she was at was like this: Left (one way goign right), Straight (no cars M-F) and right (closed due to construction). Since it was about 11:40 friday night, and she couldnt figure out what else to do, she drove through the area that doesnt permit cars on weekdays, and got a 167$ ticket for it.

When she went to court for it, the cop didnt show, so the ticket was dropped, but the judge politely reminded my friend that if you get to an intersection that you can't go straight, and you cant turn, you have to make a U-Turn and go back the way you came, which is amusing because in oregon you can only make U-turns on intersections specifically labeled as such.
2003-03-02 12:38:07 PM  
This one actually happened to my dad.

He was in Cleveland to see his lawyer. Now, my dad is handicapped and has a current, legal handicapped parking permit. Part of his problem is mobility-related so he cannot walk for even a mild distance, and even then it's incredibly hard on him to walk at all.

So he and my mom we looking for a handicapped parking space close to the building he had to be in (the Standard Bldg. for you Cle. Farkers) and finally found one. Unfortunately, it was the only one within a reasonable distance from the bldg. and there was a delivery truch parked illegaly in it. My father asked a UNIFORMED POLICE OFFICER that was passing by at the moment he he could park in the available sopt right behind the delivery truck. The officer answered, "I guess so." and left, so my parents parked there.

When the came back to their car a short time later there was a ticket on the car issued for some sort of illegal parking (cannot remember the exact violation, however, he was parked inbetween other cars that were already there). The other cars will still there and all of them unticketed, as the delivery truck was still parked in the handicapped parking space and unticketed.

Moral of the story: If you are legally handicapped and try to park in Cleveland with anything other than a Cuyahoga county plate and in anything other than an expressly marked handicapped parkig spot, they will ticket your ass immediately, even if you are legally parked in a spot and with your handicapped parking permit on display.

Farking fat, stupid Cleveland cops can kiss my ass and call me Queen.
2003-03-02 12:39:54 PM  
I got pulled over in a boat once....for speeding. I had my life vest, so I didnt get a ticket.

It was either in Minnesota or Virginia, I can't remeber.
2003-03-02 12:43:22 PM  
Well I have 2 things I almost got tickets for. One is speeding while on a bicycle. I got clocked doing 41 in a 25 zone. Yes this was on a Trek 21 speed mountain bike while going down a small incline. No joke either.. Pig pulled me over and I got out of it by simply stating.. "You really want to give a kid on a bicycle a ticket for speeding? If you do I'll have you appear in court for it.. you really don't want to do that now right?" Cop just looked at me, and then I asked if he could even go half that fast on a bike. He said no. So I said ok thanks, and left as fast as I could.
Another thing I almost got ticketed for was I was drinking milk out of a paper carton while driving. I had long hair at the time, loud metal playing through the stereo and it was a Friday night. Sheriff pulled me over at a light. I got all the stuff for him (Id, insurance, etc.) He asked me to get out of the car, put hands on top of the hood and put the carton on the roof. I did so and the cop and his partner came and basically harassed me for a few minutes. Gave me the whole DWI check, which I passed with no problem. The one officer then took the carton of milk, sniffed it and dumped it. I told him that he owed me a buck for it. He laughed so I took his badge id and reported him for harrasment. Nothing happened with it though, but he WAS pissed that he couldn't get me for anything.
2003-03-02 12:43:55 PM  
I once got a ticket for going 90 in a 60. Over the hill the limit dropped 10mph and i didnt see it. I was still speeding and deserved it, so im not bitter. The cop just laughed.
2003-03-02 12:50:15 PM  
Here's mine:

When I was in high school, our family had four cars, and so I, being the youngest, was forced to park on the street in front of my house (as opposed to the cushy garage spaces or even the driveway space).

Now my neighborhood is right next to the high school, and so lots of kids would come and clog our streets parking, since there were limited spaces at school. My neighborhood, to stop this, put up signs every 30 feet or so (making it much uglier than cars, but that's besides the point) saying, in effect, no parking from 8am to 4pm. However, residents were still allowed to park.

Needless to say, I got ticketed for parking in front of MY OWN FREAKING HOUSE!!!

I just paid it since it was only like $30 and going to court over it would be too much of a hassle. But, damn...
2003-03-02 12:50:35 PM  
MsterScary, you darn hippie!
2003-03-02 12:52:25 PM  
comin back home day after new years, I hit a patch of black ice and rolled into the median of I94. cop comes and is inspecting what happened. withing 15 minutes three OTHER people did the same thing.
Only I got a ticket for inattentive driving. faught the ticket and won because the cop didn't see me being inattentive :)
2003-03-02 12:54:36 PM  
I'm in the same boat as Smerfnablin and Barch97, backing/pulling though a parking spot, only mine was for $5. I think it cost them more to get the dumbass out to the BFE parking lot I was at and write the damn thing then for me to pay it.

God I love the BGSU campus cops...
2003-03-02 12:58:39 PM  
Another entry:

I ALMOST got in trouble for this.

Once, again, I'm in high school. I'm hanging out at McDonalds with a group of friends, and we're acting silly. As we're about to get up to leave, I throw a french fry at my friend for some reason or another (we're all laughing at something).

Anyways, we take a few steps towards the door and this big serious looking man walks up to us.

Big serious looking man: "STOP!"
Us: "err...."
BSLM: "I saw what you did back there"
Us: "uhh....?"
BSLM: "You threw your food at your friend there."
Us: "so...?"
BSLM: "I'll have you know that that is ASSAULT!"
Us: "????!!!!"
BSLM: "You kids may be into joking around but I could arrest you for that. Assault is serious. You don't want to cross me, I'm a cop!" (he pulls out a badge, which looks real enough).
Us: ::rolling eyes::
BSLM: "I'll farking arrest you for spitting on the sidewalk if I have to!"
Us: ::leave::

Now I know that some people like to go around posing as cops, but just seeing how this guy acted, it was quite genuine. Going over it in my mind since then, I've conclude that he probably really was a cop who just wanted to scare some kids a little bit, thinking that maybe we'd go straight if we were paranoid into thinking UC cops were at every corner watching us spit or throw french fries.

And, oh yes, when I left the restaraunt (I use the term loosely), I DID spit on the sidewalk. He just stared at us and grimaced.
2003-03-02 01:05:57 PM  
I was once cited for parking more than 18 inches away from the curb. DO THE METER MAIDS HAVE RULERS WITH THEM OR WHAT?!
2003-03-02 01:07:03 PM  
I was on my way home from visiting my parents the christmas before last. I had a few shopping bags with presents they had gotten for me, plus a doggie bag - that is, my 10lb pomeranian in a bag, heh - and i had the flu pretty bad and was feverish.

i get off the LIRR at penn station (stupid parents moved out of the city when they retired), have out my 7 day unlimited metrocard, and was about to try swiping it and fitting somehow through the turnstile with all that stuff when someone exits through one of the doors. they hold it open for me, i walk through, and this plainclothes cop comes up to me and asks me why i didn't pay the fare.

i explain the above to him, and that since i have a 7 day unlimited card it doesn't matter if i swipe it or not - no fare would have been deducted anyway. the asshole denies the existence of such a metrocard, and i offer to talk to the chick in the transit booth with him to prove it. instead he insists on taking my license and calling in to check my record!!!

then he made me stand there, shivering and feverish with my dog getting agitated and his other plainclothes cops friends laughing at me etc etc while he called it in. he said well you seem to be clean (what the fark?) and gave me a 60 dollar ticket for fare evasion.

2003-03-02 01:10:31 PM  
This happened to my friend:

He's driving, in broad daylight, perfect weather. Cop pulls him over.

"I'm going to have to give you a ticket for tailgaiting."
"What? Why? I was following at a 2 second distance."
"You should have been following at THREE seconds."

$135 ticket.
2003-03-02 01:13:11 PM  
One summer I was coming home from school, and it was pitch black in the middle of day because there were tornados sighted all over the area. They had been sighted within miles of where I was. So i was hightailing it home with my lights on at three in the afternoon, and i got pulled over and ticketed for doing 78 in a 55.
2003-03-02 01:17:55 PM  
Nyla - Same thing happed to me. Got the ticket tho. Brought it home thinking my mom would laugh. She wasn't amused. Had to go to court. $5 fine.
2003-03-02 01:20:59 PM  
Oh, and the week after i got that ticket i still hadnt gotten my license back in the mail yet. I was stopped at a checkpoint and asked to show ID. I told him i didnt have it back yet and he said "just give me your name then". I said "travis martin" and he went to his car to check things out. He was gone for way too long and came back looking angry. He said, "are you lying to me son?" and i said no, i really do have a license. He says, "Well we don't have a 'Travis Muffin' in the database..." I started cracking up and told him my last name wasnt muffin, but martin. He got really red and hurried me away.
2003-03-02 01:29:47 PM  
I got a ticket for not wearing my seatbelt. I was sitting in a parking lot, waiting for my wife who was inside shopping. I was in a legal parking space, with the engine turned off, listening to a baseball game.
2003-03-02 01:31:28 PM  

Top this... I got a $130.00 ticket for not having a 150' piece of floating rope.

Cruising up the St. Lawrence river in my boat, about 30 yards from my cottage, I get stopped by an Ontario Provincial Police boat. They look like they're just going to keep on going, then they notice the tattoo on my shoulder & wave me over. They demand to see all of my safety equipment. I have hundreds of feet of rope, but don't have a 150' piece that floats. Poof - $130.00 fine. Asshole cops wouldn't even let me just pull into my boathouse & get the rope (Hell, I could have swam from there) Fargin bastiches...

2003-03-02 01:43:05 PM  
Two stories:

A buddy of mine who drives a Camaro SS was ticketed for speeding through the Texas A&M campus by... wait for it... a campus cop on a mountain bike. Seriously, I think he might've had the capacity to escape that situation.

This one happened to me. I had a garage space during my sophomore year at A&M, and one night I tried to park, but my access card wouldn't work. The security guard was no help at all, so I parked in a staff lot next to my dorm and planned to get up early and try the garage again. Sadly, I didn't get up quite early enough, and as I walked out of my dorm, I saw a tow truck taking my car off to God-knows-where. I ended up paying close to $80 bucks for the ticket and the tow. Not that I'm bitter or anything...
2003-03-02 01:46:44 PM  
Got caught scalping tickets to the final game of the mets vs yankees world series at Shea. I did not want to be in the stadium if the yankees won.

Undercover cop took my tickets, gave me a 150 dollar ticket. Ontop of that they told the mets on me, who sent me a nasty letter saying they could revoke my season tickets. In the same envelope was a letter saying the cost of season tickets had gone up 3 dollars a game, and I had 1 month to renew.
2003-03-02 01:48:23 PM  
Last week while driving on I-90 in washington state, I was pulled over by the fuzz for doing 76 in a 70 at the bottom of a hill.

I was coming down from the pass, had my cruise control set to 73 but it sped up on on the steeper part. It was 11 at night and I was the only person on the road. The cop looks in my truck and asks if my friends and I had been smoking pot. We just got a chuckle over that and said no (we hadn't). He goes up to the front of my truck and comes back and says that I have too many lights on (my headlights, fog lights and driving lights (PIAA 520)), and then I couldn't find my latest farking proof of insurance. I have 10 expired ones, but I couldn't find the latest.

So he comes back from his patrol car and writes me up for having more than one set of auxilery lights on, and no proof of insurance. All my lights themselves are legal. I read, according to state law, that I can't have more than one set of extra lights on ON THE HIGHWAY. It's legal on any other road, but I get cited for it on an empty highway at 11pm. Let alone getting pulled over for 6 over in a 70.

WAC 46.37.270 - Too many auxiliary lights on while driving -$86

WAC 46.30.020 - Driving while uninsured - $450

Total cost of citation = $576 . . . yay

He couldn't even add the two together right, 86 + 450 isnt 576. Needless to say, I'm going to fight it. On the ticket, the cop listed my truck the wrong color, the wrong owner, and in the wrong jurisdiction, plus I have current insurance. Asshat.
2003-03-02 01:48:47 PM  
On halloween one year I was driving home from a party all dressed up as a skeleton when I saw something dark and fuzzy that ran in front of my car. Me, being the curious type, pulled the car over to see what it was. I figured since I was on a dark country road I wouldn't have to worry about anything or anyone.
Well the dark fuzzy thing turned out to be a rabid gopher. I went over by it and it started chasing me, hissing and foaming at the mouth. So I of course was dancing about kicking my feet up in the air (looking really rediculous too)trying to avoid getting bit and the 2 friends i had with me in the car were laughing their asses off.
I then got back in the car and continued driving home listening to my 2 friends comment about how assinine i looked dancing about in the street running away from a gopher. All of a sudden i saw the reds and blues in my rear view. I pulled over and rolled down the window. The officer took one look at us 'en costume' and asked "boy, just what the hell were you doing back there dancing in the road?".
Needless to say when I told him then next words out of his mouth were "step outta the car son". He then shined a flashlight in my side of the car and noticed my slingshot partially under my seat. He then mentioned that someone had been driving around the neighborhood shooting out windows so naturally i was immediatly a suspect (we were nowhere near that neighborhood all night of course).
The search then commenced. It turns out that one of the 2 other friends in my car was carrying an oz of wacky tabbacky and a hooka in his backpack and had failed to mention this to me previously. So we all got 2 citations for possesion of controlled substance and paraphenalia.
We were then arrested and taken off to jail. That was the stupidest ticket i've ever gotten. If I hadn't bothered with that farking gopher i never would have had to deal with it. The court hearing for this is an even funnier tale but that is a whole other story....
2003-03-02 01:55:09 PM  
the parking decal for my university expired over a 4-day weekend. I know, I should have gotten it renewed before the weekend but I forgot. I went to class at 8AM tuesday and when I came out at 9 I had a ticket. I took the ticket off the window and drove to my next class. I had some time after that class and was planning to go to the registration office to renew it at that time. As you might have guessed, I came out after the second class and had another parking ticket.

2003-03-02 02:05:30 PM  
My roommate, friend and I took a trip to Canada last month. We live in maryland and took my roommates new Elantra. Back in Maryland, he dropped me off at a park and ride to collect my car and took a different way than I did back to our apartment.

Anyway, he was driving along MD 30 and was getting tailgated by a crappy car, what he thinks was a Geo Metro. He was doing about ten over, but was pissed that he was being tailgated, so he slowed down to the speed limit to try to send the guy a hint. The guy STILL tailgated him, so he dropped to ten under the limit, just to piss the guy off.

After about twenty minutes of this, my roommate was pissed. The Metro tried to pass him, and being the dumbass he is, my roommate SPED UP and didn't let this guy pass. The guy fell back in line behind him and continued to tailgate.

At the next red light, the guy pulls up behind my roommate, jumps out of his car and runs up to his window. My friend thought he was an off duty cop because he had an official looking uniform on, so he complied with the obviouly irate semi-cop and gave him his license. The psuedocop yelled at him for about five minutes, took his info, and sped off.

My roommate told me the story, and it is pretty obvious that this guy in the Metro was an overzealous security guard. This was over a month ago (mid january) and we haven't heard anything about it. I wonder what someone can do with a license number?

OH yeah, and cops dont have quotas.
2003-03-02 02:20:33 PM  
I got a ticket for "Improper Lane Usage" one time.

That's when you are in a turn lane, about to turn right into a multi-lane road, and you turn into the far lane, instead of the near lane.

The scary part is, I got this ticket in Washington State, where you get tried by jury for traffic offenses. I plea-barganed.
2003-03-02 02:24:27 PM  
I've never gotten any sort of ticket...I speed all the time, I've been drinking since I was 14, and yet I always get out of everything. I don't understand it...but oh well.
2003-03-02 02:24:33 PM  
Okay, here's my story:

I got on the train and someone had just launched all over the aisle, so the entire car reeked. It was making me nauseous, so as soon as the train stopped at the next station I went through the back door to the next car so that I didn't end up making my own contribution to the mess. Who's waiting for me on the other side? Two of Chicago's finest. I told them what was going on and they gave me a citation anyway, even explaining to me that lots of people lose their legs every year crossing between trains. I don't doubt it; those cars get bouncing pretty good when they're moving and there's a little gap between the steps on the cars. But it was stopped!

And the worst past of the whole situation? This was the first time I'd ever crossed between cars!!
2003-03-02 02:25:42 PM  
Oh, yeah... And all you who have gotten tickets for jay-walking... HOW DO YOU DO IT???

I have, for years, been trying to get a ticket for jay walking. I cross the street every time I see a cop approaching. But it never works.

Mr. J. Walker (my real name)
2003-03-02 02:27:27 PM  
4 tickets in 8 days. All for speeding. Now I have no license.
2003-03-02 02:44:01 PM  
I did an article on a local cop for the school paper. When I was interviewing him, he tried to sound cool and say that he wasn't one of the cops who pull people over for stupid stuff.

The next day he pulled me over for having my license plate too far to the left. Jackass.
2003-03-02 03:00:45 PM  
I got a ticket once for riding my bicycle after dark...
2003-03-02 03:08:16 PM  
I got one a few weeks ago for running a red light that was yellow. And I saw someone get a ticket for jaywalking not too long ago. Jaywalking when the nearest crosswalk is about half a mile away and there were no cars anywhere near. The cops in a nearby town are on a rampage trying to make up the budget gaps just with tickets.
2003-03-02 03:13:58 PM  
i hope there are police officers everywhere reading this, and perhaps they'll think back to this article later, relax for a minute, and let me go home.

just last friday night i went downtown with a coworker whom i didn't know at all for happy hour. perhaps i should've seen the night would lead nowhere good just based on our conversation - i asked him if he liked sports, and he started telling me about how he likes to draw girls in magician's outfits... it turned into a rather long happy hour, surprisingly, and i decided to skip out at around 10:30p. i'd driven us downtown, but as it looked like he was going home with, well, a quite rotund girl, and i was already pretty snookered - i summoned a pretty rare sense of social responsibility within myself and called a cab.

the tequila and the terrible buffet we'd had caught up with me when we were turning down my street. the cabbie overshot my house by a few, and i told him to pull over - just in time for me to lose my shiat all over someone's yard. as i was puking my guts up a sherriff rolled by - and though i was only a handful of homes from my own, he wouldn't let me finish stumbling home. took me in for Public Intoxication, which even the police officers downtown laughed at. or maybe they were laughing because i'd found myself a PI before midnight...

best part is, after about three or four hours in the drunk tank, they eventually threw in the bartender who had been serving me most of the night - something about some guy trying to pick a fight with his girlfriend, so they maced both dudes. i drink for free at that bar when i head downtown now, which is a good and terrible thing.
2003-03-02 03:34:18 PM  
I one time got a parking ticket from the city for parking where my employers told me to. We were supposed to park on the street so customers had enough room, but it was no parking any time. Employers wouldn't pay for it.

Also, one time me and my brother had a flat tire at like 1 am. We went to the gas station to fill it (slow leak), but they took the hose in so no one could steal. Takes us forever to find and release the spare, and in the mean time cops are driving by every five minutes. (A couple teenagers at a gas station with tire irons in the middle of the night and they never stop.) As soon as we pull out, they pull us over. He forgot to turn his headlights on. Just a warning, luckily.

And finally, I'm in a tiny little town now for college, so of course, it's a good-old-boy system police-wise. Got pulled over and the cop just sat in the car, waiting for me to get out and go to him to see what I got pulled over for. Below zero temperatures, I'm staying in my car. He sits behind me for 45 minutes before he finally pulls away, never doing anything. Apparently, that's all he ever does: makes you talk to him. Kind of a fat fark. Dumb cops.
2003-03-02 03:35:18 PM  
the best damn jailtime i never got.... lewiston, maine, usa. friend gets pulled over for speeding. we had 6 ecstasy pills and a tiny bit of weed hidden in the center console. i also had 3 more pills in my pocket. the cops called for the K9 unit to search the car, as well as me, because there wasn't a female officer available. my friend got a $100 fine for civil disobedience [aka the weed], and some change for the speeding. they never found the pills in my pocket. but what about the pills in the console?!

when we got back into the car, the center console was open, and the pills were lined up ever so nicely on the plastic baggie they were in. i have no idea why we didn't get charged with possession or distribution. it still amazes me to this day.
2003-03-02 03:37:09 PM  
My speeding tickets this year. Cops are going after WRX's
2003-03-02 03:45:03 PM  
5 counts aggrivated assault, 2 counts attempted murder in the 1st degree, 1 count murder in the 2nd degree, 2 counts possession of a concealed weapon, and they actually had the nerve to prosecute me.

god bless consular immunity.
2003-03-02 03:50:07 PM  
Hunting over bait in the woods. The game warden comes up and says, hey you're hunting over bait. I'm clueless to this charge and he kicks up some leaves and dirt to uncover a VERY weathered BROWN salt lick. OMG, it's fall and it's covered in leaves and dirt. How the hell did the warden know it was there. No one could see it if they didn't know where it was. So, $360 fine for planted bait by those bastards. I hate them.
2003-03-02 03:54:50 PM  
A couple of years ago my rents and I were just out exploring the state one weekend, driving like mad crazy around trying to find something new to see. We stopped and had a late lunch in this po-dunk town, when we were leaving, about to pull out onto the main road, we were hit by a drunk driver (considering it was 3 pm), he was apparently driving on the grass and sidewalk coming down the opposite side of the road (like he was coming up on our right, how often do you look on the sidewalk to see if a truck is coming?), after he hit us we had about 30 witnesses saying they had to jump and roll to avoid being struck on the sidewalk. The cop showed up and said "Hey it's Ted again!" ted said "Hey peter!" then walked up to us and said " That's ted, he's kinda like the town drunk." NO BULLSHIAT! Ted pissed himself and could hardly stand up! He then proceeded to write us a ticket for causing the wreck, because we didn't get out of ted's way. And when we asked him to do a sobriety test on the guy he said "You big city folks come here and crash into our good folks and we should give him a ticket?!?" My mother insisted he do the sobriety test and he yanked her by the arm and took her away from our witnesses and said "If you keep on insisting, I think your family will get a whole lot more trouble, you're looking at jail time right now."
We took our pride and our bashed up car and fled town before they made us squeel like pigs. And the moral of the story kids! Don't try and argue with po-dunk cops!
2003-03-02 03:55:03 PM  
The stupidest ticket ever recieved was for my illegal art project. I did an installation piece that ultimately got me arrested. You can see a picture of the piece here:
2003-03-02 04:02:25 PM  

03-02-03 03:34:18 PM I_Hate_Iowa

...waiting for me to get out and go to him to see what I got pulled over for. Apparently, that's all he ever does: makes you talk to him. Kind of a fat fark. Dumb cops.

That's really out of line. Highly strange he's still on the force. If there is one thing you learn it's to stay in the friggin car with both hands on the wheel.
2003-03-02 04:03:35 PM  
Way to late for this to matter, but...
I got a ticket for being in a playground.
Ticket read "adult in playground without child under 12".
Got to hang out with everyone who got ticketed for public urination for like 2 hours to have it dismissed.
farkin cops.
2003-03-02 04:16:19 PM  
I got a warning from the University Police Dept. for speeding on my rollerblades (speed limit is 20 mph) and I was on the sidewalk. So I started rollerblading on the street in the bike lane and I got a warning for rollerblading in the bikelane, they told me to stick to the sidewalks.... I guess I have to rollerblade real slow now on the sidewalks.. might as well WALK!
2003-03-02 04:16:19 PM  
Too late, but an interesting (long, sorry) story...

About a dozen friends and I were at a fairly low-key party (drinking, smoking, yeah). Now we're all rather quirky, we like guns, knives, all kinds of sharp shiny things. Most wear all black. One friend "Joe" was sitting on the floor, cutting himself with his knife (not deeply, just "cutting").

Then he sees a bigger, shinier knife of another friend and asks to look at it. He proceeds to "test out" the blade by cutting himself with THIS new knife. Doesn't realize that the knife's owner is particularly strict about SHARP blades. And Joe is ridiculously farked up. Joe practically cleaves his forearm.

I'm sitting there next to him, drunk and farked up, and ol' Joe trying to keep his arm closed, blood gushing out from between his fingers. Oh. "Hey, that's bad, right?" A quick search of the apartment brings duct tape and toilet paper for a makeshift bandage. We find someone that has a car, he's drunk but hey, we don't even have a phone. Somehow we make it to the hospital, about 4 of us came along to help.

Bleeding boy is rushed into get stitches (~30? Fark if I remember), and the rest of us hang out in the waiting room after patting him on the back and wishing him well. It's not 5 minutes before I notice the *looks* we were getting from the receptionist. Looks at us, in disgust. Looks at television. Looks back at us, in disgust. What's up? I walk over (alright, stumble over) and see that she was watching The Jenny Jones show, where they were doing Goth makeovers (make them into "respectable" young people). Oh god, I told my friends to get ready for the cops.

In a few minutes, we're being questioned. Cop lady threatens to bring all of us down to the station for underage drinking (yes this was years ago), drinking and driving, drugs, and STABBING. What?!

She didn't know if it was a "ritual gone wrong" or if we had tried to hurt him and were only waiting there as a threat so he wouldn't talk. I'm easily the most sober of the bunch (by this time) and tried to explain to her what had happened, and the fact that we were doing the "good friend" thing by waiting to take him home when he was fixed up. Problem is I'm horribly allergic to cats (were at the party) and my eyes are all puffy, sniffling, blowing my nose, miserable. She "knew" we were drunk, and -looking straight at me- "and I don't even want to know what ELSE you're on..."

After she questions the "victim," then gives sobriety tests to the folks with licenses (all fail), I finally manage to convince her to let us take a cab home, and since I'm the only one with money and it's a LONG way it seemed to break through her redneck skull that we were being as truthful as our drunk asses could be.

Resolution: we were there so long that our driver sobered up and were able to drive home with our stitched up friend. No tickets- apparently it was enough of an emergency to warrant driving somewhat drunk?. And I'm the kind of person that gets tickets every time she's pulled over, and no tickets or arrests from that mess? Luck-eeeee.


And by the way, if you're running stop signs or riding on the wrong side of the street, not wearing a helmet, popping out into the road into traffic or whatever on a bike... no you're right, you don't deserve a ticket. You deserve to get hit by a car.
2003-03-02 04:18:02 PM  
I got a warning from the University Police Dept. for speeding on my rollerblades (speed limit is 20 mph) and I was on the sidewalk. So I started rollerblading on the street in the bike lane and I got a warning for rollerblading in the bikelane, they told me to stick to the sidewalks.... I guess I have to rollerblade real slow now on the sidewalks.. might as well WALK!

Now with VOTE-assure(R)
2003-03-02 04:20:11 PM  
While stormchasing once I was given a warning and threatened with reckless endangerment while standing next to my car on the roadside, and tresspassing for driving on someones lawn to get around a massive fallen tree.

I had permission from the homeowner who I was talking to about the storm, but I bothered not to tell that to the cop. I just kept my mouth shut and waited for him to go away.
2003-03-02 04:32:05 PM  
I got a ticket once for "hindering an officer." My sister was busted with a fake ID and I told the cop that it was her real ID. The DA ended up dismissing it.
2003-03-02 04:33:58 PM  
Too late for voting, but:

One morning I forgot my backpack, so pull outside the front of our house, which btw is a residential area with a park next to it - not a high traffic city block. I left my car running with the flashers on in a Tow-Away zone and run inside to get my bag. I was inside for no more than two minutes when I come back outside to find a parking ticket on my windshield and a tow-truck backing up to take away my car, which was still running with the keys in it. I can only assume the metermaid was getting a kickback from the towing company he was in cahoots with ... but the greedy bastard was in such a hurry to get the ticket on my car before I got back outside, that he left 2 letters out of my license plate tag.
2003-03-02 04:35:12 PM  
Zelkova, no, the guy didn't die. He suffered two broken shins, head trauma, and various other small injuries. He was an older Mexican man who was in the country illegally. Otherwise my parents probably would have been sued and I'd be working it off to this day (was back in 1996). We wanted to send the guy a card in the hospital we felt so bad, but my dad's lawyer advised against it because it "sounded like an admission of guilt". Uh, WE WERE GUILTY, farking lawyers. Take heed those of you who speed recklessly, of my experience. Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it. What if he had died? What if it had been a little girl? What if it had been someone the driver knew?

What if YOU had been the driver?
2003-03-02 04:43:20 PM  
I got a 75 dollar ticket because i was a 16 year old in a 68' mustang driving home from work at 11pm. i had gotten my car painted about 4 days earlier. my license plates were in my windows. but seeings how my car is loud and flashy, they had to give me a ticket for something now didnt they. supposedly your plates are to be securly fixed to the EXTERIOR of your vehicle.
2003-03-02 04:45:54 PM  
I went to LaGuardia airport to pick up my brother. So, I was in my car parked in the passenger pickup area. There were many large green signs saying 'Passenger Pickup Area'. After about 15 minutes, an airport cop comes up to me, I roll down the window, and he says, 'Hold on, I am giving you a ticket'. Mind you, I am in my idling car. so, I get pissed at him, and ask 'why are you giving me a ticket?' , he says 'You are not allowed to stand here' .
I promptly point out the numerous and very large lit up passenger pickup signs. He then tells me to get out of the car. I get out, and he points out, this small sign, the size of a no parking sign. This sign says 'no standing', plus the sign was blocked my many large suv's, which were standing there just like me.
I ask, 'How am I going to pick someone up', considering, this is the passenger pickup area. He points out the parking garage, which you have to pay an exhorbidant fee to park. And he says, you then go in the airport, and wait. I try to argue the point, that this is the pickup area, but, obviously, I didn't get anywhere.
So, my brother gets to the car, and he puts his stuff in. The asshat hands me the ticket.
As I drive off, I see the ticket is for $150, lots of swearing, and yelling then took place.
2003-03-02 04:49:29 PM  
This was a several day adventure.

I was at my brothers house for a week. He had a really small driveway with one car in the garage, and one car in the front, so where was I supposed to park? I ended up parking on the street for the night, got a ticked for that. Parked in his driveway for crossing the sidewalk, got a ticked for that. Parked on the lawn, got a ticket for that.

This is the fourth day now, and we were really getting inventive. Parked on the lawn with one tire on the street crossing the sidewalk, a total of three tickets. Best three tickets of my life.
2003-03-02 04:55:18 PM  

$10 Fix-it ticket for having the rice window washers. I fixed it right there and still got the ticket. (CHP)
90mph in a 55mph... the 25 zone was about a mile behind me. (Fresno Cnty. Sherriff)

Pulled over when I was waiting for some friends to pass by on the side of the road. cop threatened me with jail because there were street racers just up the road a little and thought i was looking out for cops. (Fresno Cnty. Sherriff)

Pulled uver for doing about 95 through a red light right in front of the cop, but he says he didn't see if the light was red, so he couldn't give me a ticket, but it lookedlike I was going fast, so slow it down (Clovis PD)


Pulled over in a radio flyer wagon that has an eletric motor. Cop wrote him up for not having saftey belts, headlights, turn signals, tail lights, licence plate, brake lights, and anything else that would make a radio flyer a car. (Clovis PD)

Pulled over a for doing 50 in a 35 about 3 houses away from his house. (the zone is a 40 and he was doing 40)(Fresno PD)
2003-03-02 05:00:05 PM  
I got pulled over for doing 55 in what i thought was a 55 zone on a divided (interstate) highway where the speed limit was changing from 50 to 55. The cop explained that the limit was indeed 50 and not 55. I then said to him, "Well what about that sign?" (pointing to the speed limit sign that read 55 on the other side of the road). He said that on that side of the road it was 55, but in the exact same place on this side it was 50. The judge threw out the ticket.
2003-03-02 05:02:03 PM  
I got a summons for leaning on a train door once. On a train who's doors didn't open on the left side, the side I was leaning on. NYC Transit cops gives some of the dumbest tickets known to man.
2003-03-02 05:22:12 PM  
I don't have any myself but a friend of mine got a speeding ticket when galloping through town on her horse once. Was great fun in court, 'why is there no license plate on this paperwork' 'my horse doesn't have a license plate' 'your what?!?'
2003-03-02 05:25:38 PM  
"When I was 16 I was rushing to get my brother to his Tae Kwon Do class, was pulled over for speeding, and got the ticket for driving barefoot.. "

Ku-no-ichy, what country are you in? Because I've never been able to find a country where driving barefoot is against the law, many people (even some cops) think it is, but it's definitely not against the law anywhere in the US. Even on a motorcycle it's only illegal in a few states. Did you go to court for it or did you just pay up?
2003-03-02 05:30:55 PM  
cop pulls me over for doing 87 in a 55 and weaving thur traffic and says he can thorw me in jail for that. i'm scared cause i was on probation for some bad charges.the car i was in had a expired emmissions tag, puffing blue smoke, didn't even have a seat belt amog other things, i told the cop that i was in a rush to the store because it was my moms birthday (lie) and i had forgoten and i need to get her a present, he let me off with a warning for not wearing the seatbelt that i didnt even have. i guess he just felt bad for me.
2003-03-02 05:45:18 PM  
It's too late I suppose but once I got a parking ticket for parking more than 12 inches from the curb. And it was expensive, too!! That was about five years ago but now every time I parallel park, I always have to get out and make sure I'm not too far away.
Damn Chicago cops.

/my two-cents
2003-03-02 05:54:03 PM  
Cops pull people over for that stuff all the time. Any visible blue light on your car is illegal in most states. Besides, the cops probably thought those things were stupid just like everyone else does...
2003-03-02 05:56:02 PM  
I was crossing a street near a construction zone, and didn't know they changed the direction of traffic in one lane to let gravel trucks in. I was hit by a gravel truck and thrown 15 feet.. hurt not too bad considering. Got $45 jay-walking ticket while on the emerg room bed being checked out.
2003-03-02 05:59:30 PM  
oh I also got a ticket 1 day after my 19th birthday for having a youth pass on the bus. I hadn't thought and bought the ticket I normally did...which you can have up until you're 19 and above, I'd never even had so much as a warning and they're supossed to give one for the first offense...but instead he gave me a $100 ticket for having improper fair.

oh and the traffic ticket the cop seemed disbeliving that I actually had insurance and registration proof....he had the nicest look on his face when I quickly grabbed the little leather portfolio I keep in my glove compartment with registration on one side and proof of insurance on the other.

I really have lost any liking for traffic cops. The only thing that keeps me from outright hating them is a very nice one who pulled me over a few days after I bought my car to tell me my tail lights weren't working and then gave me her card to show to anyone else in case I got pulled over again and adviced me to get them fixed asap.
2003-03-02 06:01:08 PM  
This is a story about my brother, but it amused me, so I thought I'd post.

He got off work one night about 2am. (They closed at 1 and they have to clean up and stuff.)

So he asked his friend if he wanted to go to Jack in the Box with him, since they're open 24 hours. His friend said sure, and got into his PT Cruiser while my brother drove over in his Camaro.

Well, seeing that it was 2AM and the streets were empty and he has a Camaro, he floored it and left his friend behind. He kind of slowed down by these rail road tracks near the Jack in the Box for his friend to show up, and then started pulling into the parking lot for JitB as a police car pulled in behind him and flashed his lights.

The cop came out and said "Get out of the car!" so my brother did. The cop asked "So, how much have you had to drink tonight?" My brother said nothing, he just got off work. The cop asked where he worked and he said In-n-Out.

About this time his friend pulls into the lot, *also* with a police car behind him, heh.

The cop more or less said "Oh yeah, you work at In-n-Out and you come to get something to eat at Jack in the Box?"

My brother explained that he hasn't had something to eat since 6PM, was really hungry, and he's pretty sick of eating hamburgers.

The cop told him to wait while he went to talk to his partner and see if their stories matched up. He came back and said to my brother "125 - what do you think of that number?"

My brother said "Well, that's pretty fast, but I wasn't going that fast."

The cop said "No, that's how fast *I* had to go to catch *you*."

(I asked my brother how fast he was going and he said about 100-110 - I've only gone 110 in a car once, and he was driving.)

He said, "I'm going to charge you for speeding, excessive speeding, and reckless driving. That's $710."

My brother just said, "Okay."

The cop said "Just kidding, you can go," and left, hehe.

Apparantly they had been in the parking lot across from In-n-Out and saw my brother and his friend peel out of there and it took them 2 miles to catch up with him. My brother's friend said "Yeah, I saw this cop race past me and I wondered where he was going..."
2003-03-02 06:29:37 PM  
-failure to use turn signal (x3) on 5 lane freeway at 3am with only 2 cars around and the chp
-illegal u-turn in a business district (195$ ticket)
-failure to yield to pedestrians in a crosswalk ..plead not guilty saying they had plenty of time to run and and its not like i hit a nun or anything
-the one u didnt get...j-walking...i ran when i saw the officer signal for me to that felony evading?
2003-03-02 06:45:02 PM  
120+ in a 65 in kansas 15 hours after i got my lisence in Indiana.

ticket was only 55 bucks!
2003-03-02 07:53:43 PM  
I got warned by a rent-a-cop at my high school. I was working at school over the summer and was given a golf cart to drive on campus (huge campus, so the cart really was necessary). The speed limit on campus was 10 and I was going the empty parking lot in July, so no cars. Luckily she said that she couldn't technically ticket me since the ticket would just have been sent back to the school (since the school owned the cart). But damn, she must have been really bored if she was pulling over golf carts in an empty lot.
2003-03-02 08:00:50 PM  
I was ticketed for unsafe backing when I backed into a police car that was tailgating me across a divided four-lane road. My car had stalled and I was trying to get out of the way of a car approaching my passenger door at high speed.

The ticket was later dismissed, but the original reason for getting stopped was upheld: having a disconnected muffler (damned thing never would stay on that piece of junk).
2003-03-02 08:01:39 PM  
I got a ticket the other day for an obstructed windsheild. I was pulled over because I was young and in a hurry. I accelerated quickly past a slow moving police officer, and I guess he had a problem with my failure to yeild to his "authority." The cop was also a complete pig while giving me my citation. He peered into my wallet and insisted that my school ID was a fake until I let him through it. He laughed at all attempts by me to be civil and turned his back and walked away when I made it clear I would be challenging this citation. Anyone have pointers? My only goal is to destroy this pig in court, shiat like this is rediculous, I have no problem respecting authority so long as that respect is mutual.

Anyone have any pointers on how I should proceed? I looked up the specific sitation and its rediculous what hes trying to pull.
2003-03-02 08:03:33 PM  
damn how did I manage to post the unproofed copy.
2003-03-02 08:19:24 PM  
failure to offer bride - $900 and two years probation (DWI 1st offense)
2003-03-02 08:20:03 PM  
um bribe
2003-03-02 08:22:28 PM  
I suppose I neglected to mention I had water on the windshield, yeah a few drops that were promptly removed by cycling the left washer once.
2003-03-02 09:19:14 PM  
I was recently ranting about this on another article...

I am currently stuck paying $50 for parking without a permit. I was parked 100 feet away from my house. I didn't have my permit because the City of Somerville will not allow you to get a permit without a utility bill, but you can't get a utility bill until you've lived in a place for about a month. I had only been living there for 2 weeks. I owe $50 for parking without a permit that they would not allow me to have.
2003-03-02 09:20:24 PM  
I also got a $70 ticket for "Failure to remain in the right-hand lane on the highway".

This is illegal?
2003-03-02 09:42:37 PM  
Malinois: Yeah I got trounced. But it's to be expected with a car set up for 1/4 mile... Here's the long list of the mods:

Cobra R's of course
Std. Bore '87 5.0 HO block
KB Forged 11.5:1 Pistons
Stock rods/crank w/ Federal Mogul
60cc Edelbrock Performers, O-Ringed
1.7 FMS Roller Rockers
New FMS Roller Lifters
B Cam
Cloyes Tru-Roller
Trick Flow Chromoly Pushrods
GT40 Ported, Matched and Polished
24 lb. Injectors
65mm BBK TB, Edelbrock adapter elbow
A9L with 2nd gen PIH Harness
C&L 73mm mass air kit
BBK shortys/catted h/no muffs/really loud
T-5 Swap
Walbro 255 lph fuel pump
R Hood
OEM Cobra front end

And to Deadmanmike: I live in like the smallest town in existance. The local cop is also a racer. Who has a nitrous injected stang that killed that Viper earlier in the season. So it's not even close to fake. Welcome to podunk politics...
2003-03-02 09:52:07 PM  
No voting here since I'm so late and it wasn't my ticket, my wife got a ticket for parking in a handicap stall and not having a handicap placard. She is handicaped and did have a placard but it had fallen off the rear view mirror and landed on the dash-board, since it was not properly displayed (hanging from the mirror) the officer wrote her a ticket anyways. On top of that she was parked in front of the police department sub-station, just goes to show that when you are the one's that make the rules crime does pay because even though it was corrected and the charges were dropped we still had to pay a $35.00 proccessing fee... sucks!
2003-03-02 09:52:46 PM  
$25 fine for swearing on the Virginia Beach oceanfront.
2003-03-02 10:01:00 PM  
jaywalking on my way home from school. i didnt even think that was a crime anymore. gave me a ticket, i said "what the fark?" and he gave me another one.
2003-03-02 10:12:37 PM  
2003-03-02 10:22:19 PM  
Ive managed to read every single post on this thread. Very funny stuff.
2003-03-02 10:22:34 PM  
I know this is late...but... A good friend of mine was given a ticket for kicking a Blue Jay by a Game Warden in Alabama. He was out dove hunting and ran accross the Game Warden for this county...about that time a blue jay began sqwaking at him on the ground (it had a nest somewhere near). He kicked the bird..and was given a ticket for killing a song it turns out you can only kill a few birds in Alabama.

Beat that one.
2003-03-02 10:25:39 PM  
I don't do things that are illegal. Except drunk driving.
2003-03-02 10:38:32 PM  
I lived in LA CA for 15 years. My car I had for the last 2 of those years, the windows were tinted, the morning I was leaving LA to go to St. Louis, Just before I got on the highway, a cop pulled me over for having my windows tinted. I told him that I was leaving(moving) CA and as he could see all the boxes and the maps, he actually let me go! Can you actually farking believe that!
2003-03-02 10:39:14 PM  
This is a story told to me by my law professor (who had to defend this case when he was younger):

Guy and girl go camping out in the middle of nowhere, and while camping, start drinking. It's getting late and the fire is dying down, so the girl goes to cut some more wood.

She cuts off her finger.

Guy has to drive girl to emergency room, even though he's had a little too much to drink. He has no choice. They get into the car and he takes off. Cop pulls him over for speeding, he tells the cop what happened, and cop escorts them to hospital.

At hospital, cop gives guy breathalyzer, it reads a little over the legal limit, and so cop arrests him for drinking and driving.

(lucky, if I remember correctly, guy got off).
2003-03-02 10:39:45 PM  
Skateboarding. I got a ticket for skateboarding! I go to court on the 12th.
2003-03-02 10:40:18 PM  
Well . . . I don't know if it's a dumb ticket, but I did a pretty dumb thing a few years back . . .

I was commuting back and forth between Richmond and Charlottesville -- about a 70 mile haul. It was one of those absolutely spectacular days in early May -- sun was shining, birds were singing, God's up in Heaven, and everything is right with the world. So I'm tooling down I-64 in my 4-speed VW Fox with a broken speedometer with Bob Seger's "Nine Tonight" in the cassette deck as loud as it will go, all the windows down, sweet spring breeze in my hair, and not paying a damn bit of attention to anything except the sheer joy of the day. The next thing I know, there are 2 Virgina state police cars blocking the interstate in front of me. I stop, a bunch of cops stop behind me, everyone jumps out of the cars with their guns out, and some asshat with a bullhorn advises me that I should keep my hands where folks could see them. One of the troopers came over, opened my car door, undid my seat belt, and stood me up against the car rather ungently. I had no idea what all of the fuss was about, and told the trooper as much. He looked pretty shocked, maybe because I was so genuinely clueless.

Well . . . as it happens, a rookie trooper had been behind me for about 4 miles with his bubblegums flashing, and like I said, I wasn't really paying attention. So he called in a "hot pursuit" on me, and the nice officers assumed I was some flavor of fugitive. It didn't help that the rookie clocked me doing 98 in a 65. To make a long story short, the ranking trooper figured that my story was entirely too stupid to be fake, and he let me off with a speeding ticket (a nice fat one, too) and a warning to pull over the next time a state trooper pulled up behind me with his lights on.
2003-03-02 10:42:47 PM  
2 big ones:

Got a ticket for "driving without a motor vehicle" for standing on the highway trying to get cars to honk at me.

Got 1 for being hit by another driver. Fined for "Driving on the Sidewalk" for attempting to avoid being hit.
2003-03-02 11:00:44 PM  
My dad is a cop, and he almost died doing his job. Why don't you try being a cop for a day, and see if you don't change your mind, you asshat.
2003-03-02 11:18:55 PM  
I was going 60 in a 30 once as I was going through an intersection saw a b+w sitting at the corner so I just pulled over and waited for him, and yes he did come pulled up behind me, got out stormed up to the side of my truck and yelled at the top of his lungs that the "speed limit was 30 miles per hour not 60" then he turned around walked back to his patrol car and left. Whew, I thought should have got wreckless endangerment with that one. I figure that since I saw that he saw and just pulled over and waited for him to come over to me is the only reason he didn't site me and haul me in for wreckless endangerment.
2003-03-02 11:25:12 PM  

damn right it is, and its really annoying how ignorant people are of it. The right lane is for travelling, you're only supposed to be in the left lane for passing. Basically, if there's no car on your right, they have every right and reason to ticket you.
2003-03-02 11:27:52 PM  
Running a red light
@ 4 AM
On a barren road
On a ten speed

And it is bad that people have to die because others are asshats,
But pretty much, cops suck...............
2003-03-02 11:47:27 PM  
Public intoxication.

On my 23rd farking birthday.

2003-03-02 11:56:17 PM  
I got a ticket last October for speeding. The cop said that I failed to slow down upon entering the village (where the speed limit dropped by 25mph) despite the fact that I came to a COMPLETE STOP at the red light where the new speed limit began... I hate farkin rural fund raising pigs.

At least I didn't pay the ticket (yet).
2003-03-03 12:10:43 AM  
Drove with them for a year before I was popped.

Besides, the cops probably thought those things were stupid just like everyone else does...

The world's a big place. Doubt you took the time to take a survey.
2003-03-03 12:18:56 AM  
Late, but what the hell.

Went to a "WHO" concert in Cleveland Ohio and got completely blitzed. Drove back to Columbus (2 1/2 Hrs =/- trip)after the show. I was so farked up I could barely keep it on the road. My date passed out on the way home and ended up sleeping with her head on my lap. Anyway,I am about 2 miles from home and actually feeling pretty sober when I see the lights in my rear view mirror. I wake up the girl and pull over. the cop comes up with a big grin on his face and asks me why I was swerving. I tell him that I was tired having just driven from Cleveland. He makes me do the walk and other fun party tricks but I passed them OK. as he gave me my liscense back he gave me the same smile and told me he was letting me go, but to keep our seat belts on.

He obiously saw my dates head come up from my lap when he pulled us over.

Best head I never got.
2003-03-03 12:48:55 AM  
doing 26 in a 25. >:-|
2003-03-03 12:52:51 AM  
This has been one of the most entertaining threads to read on fark, ever.

I had an accident on Christmas day of 2002. Here in MD it was snowing and all of that, and I was in a Jeep going about 15 MPH in 4wd (low) in first gear. There was about 4" on the ground, which is nothing for a Jeep. I'm on my way to my girlfriend's house and hit a patch of ice which causes me to lose control completely. I swerve off into a ditch, up into a tree, totalling the car, and bounce back into the other lane.

Of course, there's no one around so I hop out (Completely freaking out) and call 911 to report it and everything.

Long story short, the cop on the phone basically tells me to go "fark myself" and that there's nothing he can do because of "my stupidity". Farking cops in Howard County, MD are biatches.

About 2 hours later I'm still there and this cop in a Jeep pulls up. Dosen't ask if I'm okay or anything even though I'm soaking wet (People tell me that 5 hours later I was still shaking and mumbling "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" to my parents) and proceeds to start questioning me about how fast I was going, etc. I guess I was a little rude and I got the same treatment as the cop on the phone. He tossed a flare at me and left.

I want my taxes back.
2003-03-03 12:53:27 AM  

When I was a kid, my old man got pulled over for going 75 in a 65.

The cop leaned in the window and said, "do you know how fast you were going?"

My old man said, "Did you know one of your headlights is out?"

The cop drove away.

2003-03-03 12:57:21 AM  
Well, MY tickets haven't been that interesting. But, my sweet formerly motorcycle driving husband has gotten some interesting ones. He went through a yellow/red light once just as he saw an LAPD car come around the corner. He pulled over immediately because it was inevitable that he would get a ticket for that. This was not the thing to do, you should wait for the officer to request your presence at the curb with his lights. Now, remember that this was probably 27 years ago. The officer came up to the drivers side of the car. I was in the passenger seat, and observing the civil conversation. I then noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and noticed an officer with his hand on his gun on MY side of the car and realized that he would really like to see both of my hands in plain sight, so I held them up where he could see them. Another time my husband was thrown into jail with his younger brother for stealing our new used car. The previous owner had put his personalized license plates on his new car and the paperwork hadn't made it through to the DMV computers yet. It took me a while to locate the guys phone number, and ask him to come 30 miles away with his copies of the paperwork. He got a fix-it ticket for one tail light which was not working on a Christmas night.
2003-03-03 01:01:08 AM  
Got a warning for "disturbing foliage" on 394 in minneapolis. Had to drive up on the shoulder/curb on the left to get around 3 cop cars that were stacked side by side blocking traffic for a traffic stop on the right. One came after me when i went by. Asked if i had been drinking.
then he comes up with that

2003-03-03 01:01:54 AM  
I don't know about tickets but I was written a couseling statement for having dust-bunnies under my bed in the Army.
2003-03-03 01:51:08 AM  
These were very
2003-03-03 02:39:43 AM  
Really late to the party adds:

Husband and I were pulled over in Montana some years ago when, ahem, there was no speed limit (reasonable and prudent). It was 10:00 am on a bright clear day. Think we were going about 90 where, from out of nowhere, we see the lights go off behind us.

Cop tells my husband he was speeding. Hubby says 'how can I be speeding, there's no speed limit in Montana.' Cop asks what the speed limit is in our home state (then Nebraska) and he says 75. Cop says, 'well then, that's what it is here....' and proceeds to demand that we pay $100 on the spot or have our car impounded.

We forked over the cash. What the hell else were we going to do?

Anyhow, said ticket never showed up on hubby's driving record. We think the militia was just low on beer money.
2003-03-03 03:30:18 AM  
OK, no voting, because this happened to my friend (I'll call him K):

K is a Renaissance Faire actor, and one Friday he's cruising on his motorcycle towards the site. This time, it's different because he's got his Claymore (BIG sword) strapped to one side. And it's fairly obvious to anyone who can see his left side. Sure enough, a motorcycle cop weaves through traffic and passes him on the left side.

Then the cop slows down to look. He looks at the sword, at K, the sword, and turns on his lights. The two of them pull over.

Once on the side of the road, the cop comes up to my friend, and asks for license and registration. K complies immediately, and also gives him his Ren Faire ID. Cop then asks:

Cop: What the hell is that?
K: It's a sword, sir.
Cop: I can see that.
K: Oh. It's a Claymore, sir.
Cop: What is it doing strapped to your motorcycle?
K: Well, sir, I'm a historical re-enacter working at the Renaissance Faire, and I'm transporting the piece to the site.
Cop: Ah, so, it's a dull prop?
K: (fails to mention that most Claymores are dull anyway - brute force cleaving weapon) Yes, sir.
Cop: (grinning) Can I see it?

The cop takes a look at the sword, hefts it a bit, gives it a few swings, then gives the sword back, and sends K back on his merry way.
2003-03-03 04:28:00 AM  
My family just purchased a beach house in a tiny 1-stoplight town on Long Island, NY. This town is a sort of semi-independant illegitimate bastard child of a neighboring town, so it has no police force. It also has a semi-sortof-private beach, only open to residents or rentals. Because of this, the beach is quite popular around 2am to people drinking, smoking up and otherwise making merry. To combat this, the larger town decided to patrol the area quite thouroughly with official Public Safety or somesuch officers. Now these officers cannot give you a real New York State ticket, but they can cite you for a couple of trivial things.

Now, the stupid things I've gotten these citations for:

My friend in his 20-year old BMW 6-series got a $200 summons for running a stopsign. By stopsign they mean yellow line. In an empty parking lot.

My brother in law, his friend and myself each got tickets for criminal trespass and failure to produce ID when my bro-in-law got smart and gave the (obnoxious) cop the 'I pay your salary' line. I wisely remained silent, but still got a summons.

The crowning achievement: Long before our 21st, several friends and I were hanging out on the beach way after dark. We had made our way mostly through a few sixes of beer, when I notice a bobbing white light coming towards us. I believe I uttered something along the lines of "Guys, cops" and surreptitiously dropped my beer down the side of the half-height wall I had been leaning against. Same friend from above, panics, winds up his catcher's arm and *hurls* his beer bottle a grand total of five feet. Yay for drunkenness. We managed to avoid tickets by feigning stupidity.

Other tickets:

Aforementioned friend, attempting to catch up to the other car in our party which had gotten out of range of our worthless FRS 2-mile radios after we (stupidly) took a wrong turn and tried to get to beantown instead of NYC got a ticket for doing 90 in a 65 (We were nice and had a reasonable story, so the cop dropped it down to a 85)

I've also gotten several parking violations and a failure to produce insurance because I forgot the card at home.

All in all, I've never had a really bad experience with a police officer. For the most part, if you talk the right way to a cop he/she'll let you off nice. I got an 80-in-a-65 reduced to a 75 because I was nice, and the cop never actually filed the ticket. For those of you who are unenlightented: there are three things you can say to a cop: Yes Officer, No Officer, and Thank you for your time Officer.
2003-03-03 06:47:21 AM  
Loitering, for hanging out by my car in a grocery store parking lot.

This was a small town where hanging out was a major recreational activity. We weren't being a nuisance. Being a nuisance might get you a verbal warning normally, but some newbie cops were being trained in. It was "Let's practice writing tickets!" day or something.
2003-03-03 07:20:25 AM  
JeffMD said:
Whats that? ole black and blue is behind you? dont throw shat out the window! Whats that? some (cop) car is trailing you? Get off at the next turn and PARK Some where! Maestro, you could have avoided 2 tickets just by getting off at the next rest stop. and where did the cop car catch you speeding? let me guess... he was right behind you??

Yes I deserved the first one, but never thought there would be a penal code set specifically for it. Fifty bucks for littering I would be ok with, but 1500 is crazy. Had I of been thinking rationally I WOULD HAVE gotten off and parked, but no sleep and a hellatious situation didn't render me a rational thinker at that point.

And the second one? No he wasn't behind me. I got gunned from the air (to this day I swear there was no plane or helicopter) and he was radioed about my speed. Only in farking Cali will they set up speed traps from above you.

Everything turned out ok in the long run. I mailed a three page letter to the courts about the 1500 dollar ticket explaining that I didn't know about the penal code, I wouldn't have violated it intentionally, yadda, yadda, yadda. That ticket got dismissed for 25 bucks. I had to pay for the speeding ticket, 200 bucks. And the one back home cost me about 100 for court costs and defensive driving classes. So 325 out of pocket is much better than it could have been. And I got no points since my insurance doesn't check out of state records.

Had they not of dismissed the 1500 dollar ticket, I wouldn't have paid either Cali ticket and would just avoid the state for seven years until the warrants expired. The irony of the situation is that the day after the dismissal letter was mailed to me, another out of state driver flipped a cig out the window in the same stretch of highway and ignited a grass fire that burned 20+ acres of land. I guess timing is everything and I got REAL lucky.

Legopowa said: Maestro wins.

Thanks Legopowa, I shoulda enabled voting. Too late now though.
2003-03-03 08:01:08 AM  
I got a ticket for doing 59 in a 60 zone. It was like 80 bucks, too. Damned pigs.
2003-03-03 08:43:17 AM  
My brother got a ticket for speeding. He was on his bicycle. A pedal operated bicycle. Apparently in his downhill sprint he went over 35 miles an hour. There is a blinking yellow light at a crossroads a few miles back, which is supposed to be a town.

Anyway, speeding ticket on a bicycle. Odd.

My buddy was coming over to visit us on his Buell (motorcycle). We were out on the porch watching the road to see him drive up. He turned the corner and saw us and then popped a wheelie and went roaring up the side street to the apt. complex entrance. We went inside and grabbed our stuff to leave, but he hadn't shown up so we went outside and there he was, getting a ticket... from a cop standing next to his mountain bike. So yes, we got a nice picture of my friend standing next to his tricked out buell, looking ashamed while a cop on a bicycle was writing him a wreckless driving ticket. We got the cop to pose and shake his hand giving him the ticket like it was a diploma or something.

That's high comedy.
2003-03-03 09:03:59 AM  
funniest non-ticket police experience...

We had a hot tub you could park a buick in at the apartment complex I was living in one summer between semesters at college. It was supposed to be closed at like 10 pm or something. We got tanked at my apt and a group of girls and myself decided to go down to take a dip. We were nicely loaded and got naked and I guess people took offense to a guy hanging out with a bunch of naked chicks in the hot tub, cause somebody called the cops. I'm sitting back relaxing talking to these ladies who all look up past me and start putting on their suits. I lean head back and there is a lady cop standing over me looking right down at me. I grab my shorts and pull them on, hop out to talk to her. I drunkenly gesture towards my apartment, but unfortunately used the hand holding my shorts up. They splat wetly at my feet, and I try to act like nothing is wrong. Is there a way to gracefully pick up your shorts when you are drunk and standing naked in front of a lady cop? Her partner was also female, but a bit farther away.

Anyway, she give my little soldier an appraising look and I think out of pity told me that we were lucky we were on private property, and that I lived there, so all she would do was ask us to leave.

It was a tad embarassing, but awefully funny to talk about later.
2003-03-03 10:11:33 AM  
First they take away our playstation 2 mod chips, and now our online bong retailers?

All Gone :(
Since when are mod chips and bongs terrorists John? Donald? ANYONE!!
2003-03-03 10:15:19 AM  
Got pulled over for a burned out headlight. Popped my trunk showed the cop I had just bought a replacement bulb, and was on my way home to install it. He said "Sorry, got to make sure you install it" and he gave me the ticket. Less than an hour later I'm at the police station showing the desk sargeant my now working headlight. - it was one of those "report in 24 hours" tickets or it becomes payable. But yesh, If I'd been thinking, I could have had the bulb installed before the cops finished writing the ticket - it took them 20 minutes to write me up!
2003-03-03 10:42:36 AM  
I was broad-sided by a Mack truck, which made my car spin and wind up on the sidewalk. After being released fromn the hospital, I went to find my car, which had been impounded. When I found it, I had been given a ticket for illegally parking on the sidewalk. Bastards.
2003-03-03 11:07:33 AM  
I was pumping gas, and a cop pulled up behind me, turned the lights on, and gave me a ticket for not having a front license plate. Needless to say, I was not thrilled about this.
2003-03-03 11:18:20 AM  
When I was 17 (late '80s) my buddy and I were going back to his place. We both had long hair so of course we were cop bait. We are about to make a legal left onto a side street when we see the cop. My buddy said, "James, use your turning indicator, there's a cop."

I did and my buddy, like a dumbass, turns around to look at the cop that just passed us which causes the cop to turn around and pull us over.

The cop was a jerk and when I asked what the problem was he said we didn't use a turning indicator. My buddy leans over and said, "Yeah he did because I said, 'He James, use your indicator, there's a cop!'"
The cop was really pissed now so he demanded to know why I didn't immediatly come to a stop when he turned on his lights. He was standing in 2 inches of mud because of construction on that street. I said, "see that stuff you're standing in? It's 4 inches deeper over there. I didn't want us to get stuck."

No ticket and my dad was seriously pissed at this guy for harassing his son.
Nice thing was a few years later I saw him again. Funny thing is in like 8 years that guy was still just a patrolman in a large city.

You know, his appology was just empty.
So, Patrolman White of it you little nazi fark.
you give cops a bad name.

Onceler please go away you ugly little troll
most of my encounters with police officers has been good. I even like some of the ones that wrote me a ticket because they are out there doing a job.
2003-03-03 11:37:59 AM  
got a ticket at 2am for crossing a center divider coming out of a gas station. two cars coming from two direction at least 1/2 mile away. the one without a headlight was the cop. pulled my into a parking lot, had 4 more cars as backup show up and had me do the sobriety test. still good for a laugh!
2003-03-03 11:47:25 AM  
I got a ticket for taking a sh*t in a handicapped stall.
No, not really, I've just been waiting to use that line...
2003-03-03 12:19:55 PM  
Got a ticket for my car being parked facing the wrong direction in front of my own house.
2003-03-03 12:30:41 PM  
...too much SoCo and an incident at taco bell
2003-03-03 12:50:53 PM  
I once got a warning on Good Friday (very little traffic etc.) for sitting on the side of the road with my rollerblades on. Was illegal to use a vehicle without a mechanical brake or some shiat. Causing no harm, not really a vehicle and they hadn't seen us moving when they decided to issue the warning.
2003-03-03 01:27:29 PM  
I got a jaywalking ticket in the same place where I saw someone get shot and killed in a driveby only 6months before. Down the street from where I was ticketed I am offered crack and heroin everytime I walk by. Theonly satisfaction I got from the whole incident was saying, "Fark no you can;t search me."
2003-03-03 01:31:46 PM  
My freshmen year in college, I was got a citation from the Resident Advisors doing rounds in the dorm for having a member of the opposite sex in my room past 2AM (weekend visitation hours)--that same year however, i applied for that job and since then i have been writing the tickets...hehe--i try to be nicer though...
2003-03-03 01:38:07 PM  
I got a warning ticket riding on my bicycle in NC. A State trooper saw me go right through a stop sign and issued me a ticket for failing to stop at a stop sign and also for wearing headphones.
2003-03-03 01:59:38 PM  

Do making other people get tickets count?

A guy at work (Honda freak) told me the old cruising area from 1988 is filled with dumbass 16-year old that think putting a fart-can exhaust tip on their car adds 50HP or some crap.

So, I head down there in my 300HP Cobra-engined MarkVIII.

Some total ricer with an aluminum bolt-on-the-trunk wing, fartcan, and alphabet-soup acronym stickers almost covered the entire next to me at a red light revving it up. There is a COP on our right. I POINT TO THE COP.

He flips me off WTF? I revv it up too, light turns green, he dumps the clutch. I take off as slow as I can. The cops pull him over immediately, and is already out of the car by the time I drive pass.

I do my best Simpsons Bully Laugh (High-pitched "Haa-Haa!") as I pass. I stop at McDonald's for some Victory Nuggets.

Twenty minutes later, THE SAME GUY PULLS UP NEXT TO ME calling me names, bla bla. Instead of kicking his ass right there, I say "Shut up and race, dickweed!". Needless to say, I was already a car length past the intersection at 6100RPM in 1st gear before he even made it halfway.

I hope he takes that "Type-R" crap off his car. These guys are almost as bad as the Cavalier Boys. Beat by a Lincoln. I love it! :)
2003-03-03 03:39:06 PM  
When I was in high school, I was driving home, and as I turned onto the street by my house I see a guy on bicycle turn behind me. My radio was probably a little bit louder than it should have been, but I heard a couple of quick siren like noises behind me. I look back, and I still see the guy about a block or so behind me now. I get home, leave the car in the driveway, and about 2 minutes later my mom tells me that there is a police office to see me. He was out of breath, standing by his bicycle and armed with his ticket book. I didn't even know that my town had bicycle police. I tried to argue this point, but it didn't work. I really did think that it was just some guy on a bike. The first ticket I got was for the radio being too loud; the second was failure to stop. So more or less me and my Firebird got pulled over by the bike cop.
2003-03-03 03:42:42 PM  
Now with voting....

When I was in high school, I was driving home, and as I turned onto the street by my house I see a guy on bicycle turn behind me. My radio was probably a little bit louder than it should have been, but I heard a couple of quick siren like noises behind me. I look back, and I still see the guy about a block or so behind me now. I get home, leave the car in the driveway, and about 2 minutes later my mom tells me that there is a police office to see me. He was out of breath, standing by his bicycle and armed with his ticket book. I didn't even know that my town had bicycle police. I tried to argue this point, but it didn't work. I really did think that it was just some guy on a bike. The first ticket I got was for the radio being too loud; the second was failure to stop. So more or less me and my Firebird got pulled over by the bike cop.
2003-03-03 05:15:33 PM  
Here in Cali, we have a mandatory insurance law. If you are caught driving w/o insurance, you get fined. When the law first went into effect, the penalty was $1500.00. It has come down a bit since then, but while it was $1500.00, I got into an accident. Some Chinese lady comes wailing out of an intersection and hits me from the side. Clearly not my fault, but both cars were totalled, and she was rushed to the hospital (she was pregnant). When the cop arrived, he told me to get everything important out of my car, including all my paperwork, and give it to my cousin, who had arrived to help me. I gave my cousin everything from the glove compartment, including all paperwork, i.e. proof of insurance. Then my cousin left. The cop then questioned me about the accident, and then asks for my proof of insurance. I tell him that I gave it to my cousin, like the officer told me to do. He says, "Well, I'm going to have to give you a citation for not having proof of insurance." I didn't protest, because he told me I could just appear in court, show I had insurance, and they would let me off.
So a month later, I show proof of insurance to the judge, explain the situation, and she says, "I can understand that you were shaken up at the time, and must have thought the officer told you to do that, and since you had insurance like you said, I'm going to find you "not guilty". Please take this form to the cashier and she'll give you your receipt. Have a good day, Mr. _________, and sorry for the inconvenience."
So I got to the cashier, and show her the form that says I'm "not guilty", and she says, "Thank you. That'll be $185.00, please."
"But the judge said I'm not guilty."
"Just because you're not guilty doesn't mean that you don't have to pay your own court fees, sir."
"But I was FORCED to come here."
"Sir, this is the City of Los Angeles. ALL defendants are responsible for their own court fees. If you are unable to pay your court fees here and now, an officer will issue you a citation, and an additional fee will be charged, and you will be forced to appear in court again, compiling on yet more court fees."
"No, I'll pay now."

Now THAT'S what I call justice.
2003-03-03 09:51:53 PM  
Minor in Possesion of Alcohol, for a half-case of beer (not mine) in the trunk of a car I was leaning against at a party. I had not consumed, yet, and the trunk of the car was unlockable and accesible to anyone standing nearby in the dark... Asshat Oregon State'r.
2003-03-04 04:33:46 AM  
This entry is fary too late to probably even be read, but whatever...

I recommend that to anyone who wants hints on how to get out of a speeding ticket.
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