The Facts of Life reunion was supposed to be something good. Not great but good. Another paycheck maybe some more work. Some producer might have seen that I had grown as an actress. But no, they gave me the same damn lines and they didn't grow the character at all. Blair was a business success. Tootie was married with a bunch of rug rats and even Jo was doing something with her life. Me? They had me still working at Edna's Edibles. What a bunch of crap. Well, I showed them. I showed them all. It was the big ending, when we are all sitting around the table and I bring out the canolli. Little did they know I added a little something to all their deserts. Just deserts, right? The camera's going and Blair is supposed to make a joke about George Clooney. "What ever happened to that cute guy who used to come around?" That's her line but the rat poison went right to her central nervous system. She just gagged a little bit and dropped. Tootie went next. Jo must have figured something was up, she tried to run. Fell right in to those stupid baskets we had by the door.

It was my moment. I don't care if the cameras were still on or not. I looked around and said "And there's a fact of life for you biatches" and I looked at the camera and smiled. Cut. Print. Finale!

But now I have been in jail for a while and my attorney says there no hope. Not even a plea bargain. They may not have been great actresses or even liked but they were human and I did kill three of them so I'm going to have to pay. Yeah. I'm going away for a long time. I do have one regret. That line. maybe I should have said "You take the good, you take the bad, biatches. And there you have it. The facts of life."

AdolfOliverPanties: This week's selection made me laugh a lot.

The black Donald Trump combover is farking classic.

Izzat what it was?
It looked to me like the guy was being attacked by a brainsucking alien masquerading as a yellow hairpiece.

phlegmmo: "Me like."

I has teh dumb when it comes to posting pics...but did anybody see the last one and think of that pic with the old guy who'd sucked about half his face into his mouth?

phlegmmo: Her bra size is 38-long.

Goddam, I never rum and Coke could hurt that bad.

/nasal cavities

Harry Freakstorm: The Facts of Life reunion was supposed to be something good

*awesome*

Hertzfeld: Hulk ... sorry. smash!

StormDawg: Ew.

#8...torso looks like a morgue pic.
Live people just aren't that color naturally- I don't care how you mix, blend, shake or stir the genes.

/ should make the poor sumbiatch easy to ID though...

They were spectacular. Men used to trip over themselves when I walked down the street. Then, I met Dave. He was everything a party girl could want. Fast car, knew all the right people. We really partied.

I knew it couldn't last for ever and it didn't. Dave ran out of money before he ran out of party. We were sitting around at his 26th floor condo one night and he was crying poor. The wolves were really at the door. "If only I had invested some of it" he'd cry.

I should have got the hint when I heard him on the phone. He was asking about how much they were paying for something. Negotiating a price per pound. I figured he was going to sell some gold. Maybe that stupid watch his father gave him. Tells time in three time zones. Scoff. Like how many time zones can you be in at one time?

Last night, he said we were going to party like the old times. Just him and me. I felt happy. He had been ignoring me since the money troubles. He put on some music, fixed me a drink and really showed me some attention.

I realized too late that he had drugged me. When I woke up, I was alone. He left only a note telling me he had one chance and he wasn't going to blow it. I would just be dead weight to him. I stood there with that note in my hand. I was still groggy from whatever it was he had drugged me with. Then the phone rang. I answered it. I was hoping it was Dave saying he had changed his mind but it was some guy from the Mineral Exchange. He said Dave was just in there and had sold a couple of pounds of high grade stuff. The guy said if Dave were to come across any more of that high quality silicone, he was to bring it to him.

It was then that I looked down. Bastard.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Pimp juice, lemonade,
The other sides' where fudge is made.
Push the button, pull the chain,
Out comes a chocolate choo-choo train.

I lol'd.
Damn you.

Ranger Joe,

Could you draw a still of the frame where she has pure white eyes? That'd be hot.

kayos: That being said, when her eyes are all white as previously asked to stop.
NOT HOT!

/creepy!!

I suppose my tastes aren't exactly normal.

Kiss me, I'm horny. I'm feeling a little peaked. Yeah. I've heard them all. Here's a tip for you guys. Never be the first one to pass out at a party. And if it's a party full of tattoo artist, you should just stay home. Look at me. Crap. I have to be in Washington D. C. tomorrow. I'm chairing the Senate Ways and Means Committee. If I don't show, that damn Franken is going to take my spot. If I do show, he'll probably have something funny to say about it. Aw jeez. Why couldn't this have happened to Kerry?

Mugato: Ranger Joe,

Could you draw a still of the frame where she has pure white eyes? That'd be hot.

Your wish is my command...