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(Japan Times)   Sumo: Get fat and earn the title "athlete." Farkers rejoice   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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3278 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Mar 2003 at 3:38 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

55 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-28 10:24:53 PM  
"Even foreign women are wanting to join sumo now. Including me."

Its good to have goals.
2003-03-01 03:42:21 AM  
I am in shape!
Round is a shape!
2003-03-01 03:42:35 AM  
The poster sounds like he has never heard of sumo before.
2003-03-01 03:42:41 AM  
It forgot to mention.....Sumo is men's sport.
2003-03-01 03:43:33 AM  
so a lot of Americans can be considered athletes?
2003-03-01 03:44:48 AM  
Aren't fat football linebackers athletes?
2003-03-01 03:44:52 AM  
Nice call NoNameAndrew!

Hit em where it hurts!
2003-03-01 03:46:34 AM  
I've been to a sumo stable in Tokyo and watched them practice. They -are- athletes. They are graceful, powerful, and work out nearly all day long.
2003-03-01 03:47:40 AM  
BaseballSumo: Get fat and earn the title "athlete."
2003-03-01 03:48:50 AM  
it seems as if the skills in linebacking and sumoing are quite interchangeable...
2003-03-01 03:51:40 AM  
I second that emotion. I was lucky enough to see a few matches, and I was extremely impressed.
2003-03-01 03:56:07 AM  
Get tall and earn the title "athlete".
2003-03-01 03:56:42 AM  
To be able to move around all that fat as quickly and adeptly as they do, yes I'd say they're "athletic." Some people don't seem to realize that the whole point is to get fat while staying in shape: seems like an oxymoron to typical Western mentalities about health but then it seems like too many of us are either anorexic or morbidly obese. When you're fat, strong, and well coordinated, you tend to kick other people's asses.
2003-03-01 03:57:26 AM  
They may be called athletes by many people, but I still have no respect for a fat man in a diaper.
2003-03-01 04:02:22 AM  
Rugby: Drink sh|t-loads of beer and earn the title Athlete.
2003-03-01 04:10:15 AM  
The only sport I like is synchronized swimming.
2003-03-01 04:11:54 AM  
The only sport I like is a wet t-shirt contest.

/that's a sport right?!?
2003-03-01 04:12:59 AM  
Whoa there...I've followed Sumo for quite some time and have a lot of respect for the wrestlers and the history behind the sport. My comment was aimed at the rediculous "do-it-yourself" nature (what average American is going to intentionally bulk up to take up Sumo?) and defensive tone of the article.

I agree wholeheartedly with the posters who have seen a match and are impressed. These men are built of solid weight. I wish I could say the same for myself.
2003-03-01 04:27:33 AM  
I don't quite understand what you mean by the 'defensive tone of the article'

/not trolling
2003-03-01 04:38:34 AM  
Please dont tell me Fat Bastard gained all his weight back :/
2003-03-01 04:51:47 AM  
I've thought about that for a years: when is an NFL team going to figure it out and just import a front O-line of sumo wrestlers. I mean, the very basic tenet of Sumo wrestling is pushing other guys away...who's going to get to the quarterback???

Seriously, Sumo wrestlers would make the best linemen ever. I bet the QB can just lackadaisically stand in the pocket for like 10-12 seconds waiting patiently for a receiver to get open.
2003-03-01 04:53:11 AM  
hockey: okay, so you actually are an athlete.
2003-03-01 05:04:05 AM
Pro Sumo page

Great Takanohana
He is Michael Jordan of Sumo
everyone should see him pulling guys who are 100 pounds more than he is out of the ring. It's amazing!!! And he does that in a style similar to "rope a dope"!!!
2003-03-01 05:25:33 AM  
Alot of misconceptions about the sport, both from the original article, as well as from the comments likely to follow..
2003-03-01 06:20:05 AM  
Absolutely agree with those who respect the abilities of Sumo wrestlers. They are just incredibly strong individuals, with remarkable agility and balance. If someone thinks they can just get fat and slovenly in order to compete, they would find a rude awakening. They would likely have the taste slapped out of their mouth and pushed into the fourth row about a few seconds into a match.
2003-03-01 06:30:28 AM  
It is rumoured to be true that incredibly fat men have VERY small penises.. But damn I am getting a lil outta line here.

2003-03-01 06:35:12 AM  
Sumo rocks. The wrestlers are amazingly agile and powerful for their size.
2003-03-01 06:37:08 AM  
phew, I didn't know so many farkers would actually know what sumo actually was! They're mad flexible too. And E. Honda does that 1000 slaps for a reason. While they "smack into eachother" they're palms are actually flying at eachother's faces before they contact. So if you think you're good at pushing people out of a circle, try doing it with a few broken teeth and a concussion.
2003-03-01 07:12:29 AM  
I did a report on them...their training is cool...Wake up, train, eat, bathe, eat, sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, wake up, socialize, eat, sleep, wake up...etc etc etc. Eat before you sleep is the key. Rice and Chicken always works.
2003-03-01 07:21:05 AM  
Before the match-ups start, there is a short ceremony where the higher ranked Sumo wrestler have a walk around the ring. (Not the proper word ). They wear a special outfit that I can't describe without it sounding like a skirt when it really isn't, but you get the picture. The logo of the company sponsoring the Sumo wrestler (Sake companies and such) is displayed on that very traditional outfit. At one of the matches I saw, one of the Hawaiian Sumo wrestlers was all done up in his finest with a Budweiser logo proudly displayed on his 'skirt'.
Yup folks, Bud doesn't only do Nascar.
One point Sumo-trivia: There is a minimum height requirement to become a Sumo wrestler. The men not quite reaching that mark will get silicone injected into their heads to boost their height.
I am not making this up.
They do not, however, use steroids.

*remembers that she once had a life and hobbies that didn't involve a keyboard or mouse*
2003-03-01 07:43:03 AM  
Ku_No_Ichi"*remembers that she once had a life and hobbies that didn't involve a keyboard or mouse*"

... No way!! What was THAT like?

Did you ever go to a baseball game in Japan? I'm planning on going out there later this year, and it's the first thing I want to do.
2003-03-01 08:01:09 AM  
Well, there were no keyboards or mice involved if I remember correctly....There was sunshine, and dancing and laughter that was heard by actual people too!

I loved going to ball-games there.
In order to not seal my fate as threadjacker-queen of the wee hours why don't you drop me a line and I'll tell you which teams (in my very biased opinion) are worth seeing in which venues. Dome-vs-Open, Sucky miserable Giants-vs-local hero Yakult or even dorky Yokohama Bay-Stars...
Back to enjoying sumo folks.
2003-03-01 09:35:41 AM  
woot! someone pass the cheetos
2003-03-01 10:22:39 AM  
I've always wanted to be fat, but couldn't afford the $1000/week grocery bill.
2003-03-01 11:13:25 AM  
Wow, Fark is really dead this morning.
2003-03-01 11:20:02 AM  
Actually, Sumo wrestlers have to maintain a very strict diet and workout : as people said above, they're incredibly agile for their size, but also, a huge amount of that mass is actually muscle, not fat.
Kind of like the Kingpin, you know, from Spider Man, cause- oh wait. Uh, nevermind.
2003-03-01 11:48:23 AM  
Just to clear up two small misconceptions I've seen in this thread:

1) The article is meant to be humorous. If you are taking it seriously, stop. Then read it again.

2) Linebackers aren't fat; linemen are.
2003-03-01 11:52:56 AM  
Sumo wrestlers kick ass. Well, they'd kick any given American athlete's ass, anyway.

Hell of a lot more entertaining than football, anyway.
2003-03-01 12:11:55 PM  

take THAT treadmill!
2003-03-01 12:24:29 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Fords are Sumo Truck Tough
2003-03-01 12:47:57 PM  
hey JoeBlack, put your hat back on, your ignorance is showing.

there aint too many portly linebackers around, consider they have to chase down the guy with the ball most of the time.
2003-03-01 12:50:10 PM  
remember when Johnny Knoxville got into sumo wrestling?
2003-03-01 12:58:03 PM  
Why did I spend an hour and a half at the gym today, only to pick up a pizza on the way home, and end up sitting here, stuffing my face, and reading Fark?
2003-03-01 01:06:44 PM  
When sumo wrestlers retire, their doctors tell them to lose a lot of weight, and fast. All that weight is (obviously) really bad for their bodies.. it's not like they're ignorant to that fact.

Also, as others have said, they're extremely flexible. One of their training exercises is to do a full split, and then lean forward and touch the ground with their head. You farkers get excited when you see a 5 foot 90 pound gymnast do it.. imagine seeing a 450 pound 5'8" sumo wrestler do it.

I'd love to go to Japan and see a sumo match one day
2003-03-01 01:25:10 PM  
The person who wrote the article and the person who wrote the topic should never get together.

They'd make the dumbest AND dullest children EVER.
2003-03-01 04:16:47 PM  
Thus spak Ku_No_Ichi:
They do not, however, use steroids.

You believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. I am of the camp that believes there are steroids in Sumo. Why? Injuries upon injuries in recent bashos. I refuse to believe that so many are going kosho without steroids as a factor in some cases. True, weights are higher, but some of those having joint problems are not that big and, if they are training, shouldn't be happening to them.

Elbow problem after a Kaio kotenage, I believe. Torn up knee after 15 yorikiri, I don't. The NSK should test for steroids before every rikishi goes absent in a basho.
2003-03-01 04:41:59 PM  
Watching sumotori live in action is amazing. The article may have been in jest, but it is no laughing matter to see one competitor LIFT the other by the belt out of the ring. I especially enjoyed watching Chiyonofuji during his reign as yokozuna.

It seems unfortunate that some rikishi find it necessary to supplement their ability and training with steroids.
2003-03-01 04:57:49 PM  
TheMatt >>
You're just supposed to point me to when I make a blanket statement that might not hold water.
But thank you for calling me on that. You're right, that is the one part of my post I probably couldn't back up with proof.
I just want to believe...;-)
What was that big scandal a couple of years ago that the retired rikishi was stirring up about fixed matches and such?
I've gotten fuzzy on the details..
I remember it being reported that he was getting death threats...
2003-03-01 06:28:14 PM  
Shumz--- They only APPEAR shorter, not that they are.. the fat that builds up around the area does that... One website I was at recently said that for overweight men, every 35lbs you lose, your penis will appear 1" longer..
2003-03-01 06:37:56 PM  
Very cool sport to watch. Very talented guys... I wonder how the health risks compare to, for instance, a professional body builder who is on rhoids. I just think it is sad "in both cases" that they sacrifice so much in the long term. They will end up with a lot of extra skin, heart problems a plenty and a sad old age of pain.
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