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(My Fox Orlando)   Lightning strike survivor: God blessed me and smote the bejesus out of my buddy   ( myfoxorlando.com) divider line
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6066 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2009 at 2:55 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-08-05 12:14:03 PM  
"They took my socks and shoes off and there was no sign of anything."

A brain scan had the same results.
 
2009-08-05 12:21:47 PM  
FTFA: Now he approaches each day differently and doesn't plan to take chances with lightning anymore,

There we go.
 
2009-08-05 01:48:24 PM  
I told you so

.
 
2009-08-05 02:30:43 PM  
Link Farked?
 
2009-08-05 02:57:11 PM  

phlegmmo: "They took my socks and shoes off and there was no sign of anything."

A brain scan had the same results.



Winner
 
2009-08-05 02:58:02 PM  
Sounds more like someone doesn't have a close personal relationship with Zeus. Take the hint, doofus.
 
2009-08-05 02:58:31 PM  
If your buddy done got smote, wouldn't that indicate that he didn't have enough bejesus in him?
 
2009-08-05 02:59:50 PM  

wh0mprat: Sounds more like someone doesn't have a close personal relationship with Zeus. Take the hint, doofus.


Or else he doesn't venerate Thor enough. If you don't venerate Thor, that's a hammering.

Either way, he needs to start making sacrifices in the back yard right away.
 
2009-08-05 02:59:58 PM  
"What we witnessed here was a miracle and I want you to farking acknowledge it!"

www.pulpfictionwallets.com
 
2009-08-05 03:00:26 PM  
"Goddammit, I missed!"
 
2009-08-05 03:00:28 PM  
I believe God is the dude chucking around the lightning bolts in the first place... But yeah, you're blessed, buddy.
 
2009-08-05 03:01:30 PM  
That never happens to me
 
2009-08-05 03:01:55 PM  
But I don't even believe in Jebus.
 
2009-08-05 03:02:12 PM  

LittleSmitty: That never happens to me


That's because you're smart enough to come in out of the rain.
 
2009-08-05 03:04:09 PM  
 
2009-08-05 03:04:42 PM  

EggFool: I believe God is the dude chucking around the lightning bolts in the first place... But yeah, you're blessed, buddy.


Yeah, pet peeve. People who believe in God apparently have no logical reasoning skills. You never hear them say "thank you God, for almost killing me". If anything, this guy should be frantically examining his life trying to figure out why God is so angry with him. If being hit by lightning isn't a sign from God that you are in deep, deep shiat... well why do you believe in God at all?
 
2009-08-05 03:05:25 PM  
Hahaha, farking stupid people.
 
2009-08-05 03:06:06 PM  
His friend should have been holding a 1 iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron...
 
2009-08-05 03:06:21 PM  
"simutaneously"
 
2009-08-05 03:07:29 PM  
He says he'll continue to pray for the other man who is in critical condition at Orlando Regional Medical Center.

I'm sure the other guy really appreciates that.
 
2009-08-05 03:08:48 PM  
POWDER!!!!
 
2009-08-05 03:10:02 PM  
Damn, that Gopher God don't play.
 
2009-08-05 03:10:55 PM  
Was this article written by a fifth grader? The grammar and punctuation are truly horrific.
 
2009-08-05 03:10:56 PM  
Did I ever tell you I been struck by lightning seven times? Once when I was repairing a leak on the roof. Once I was just crossing the road to get the mail. Once, I was walking my dog down the road.
Blinded in one eye; can't hardly hear. I get twitches and shakes out of nowhere; always losing my line of thought. But you know what? God keeps reminding me I'm lucky to be alive.


/i must go now and desert my family to ride motorcycles through india an look all cool n stuff
 
2009-08-05 03:11:19 PM  

Jument: EggFool: I believe God is the dude chucking around the lightning bolts in the first place... But yeah, you're blessed, buddy.

Yeah, pet peeve. People who believe in God apparently have no logical reasoning skills. You never hear them say "thank you God, for almost killing me". If anything, this guy should be frantically examining his life trying to figure out why God is so angry with him. If being hit by lightning isn't a sign from God that you are in deep, deep shiat... well why do you believe in God at all?



So what you're saying is that God cannot intervene in a random event and spare the life of a believer?

Then again, I've examined my life after looking at things that are judgments from God and found... I'm not a believer.

Examining your life after a near death experience can result in you finding out you're destined for hell. So best to live in denial.

/Because if there's a just, loving and benevolent god.
//I shouldn't exist.
 
2009-08-05 03:13:00 PM  
OHM'D!
 
2009-08-05 03:15:55 PM  

dstanley: "GodMEdammit, I missed!"



FTFY
 
2009-08-05 03:16:31 PM  
murfshay22:
What a lightning victim may sound like (new window)

Classic! Unintentional humor can be the funniest.
 
2009-08-05 03:16:34 PM  

ptelg: So what you're saying is that God cannot intervene in a random event and spare the life of a believer?


You'd think God could have kept it from happening in the first place. Or is that too much to ask?
 
2009-08-05 03:17:47 PM  

pope183: Did I ever tell you I been struck by lightning seven times? Once I was just crossing the road to get the mail.


God saw you stealing your neighbor's mail and smited you. (Smote you?...)
 
2009-08-05 03:17:48 PM  

Jument: EggFool: I believe God is the dude chucking around the lightning bolts in the first place... But yeah, you're blessed, buddy.

Yeah, pet peeve. People who believe in God apparently have no logical reasoning skills. You never hear them say "thank you God, for almost killing me". If anything, this guy should be frantically examining his life trying to figure out why God is so angry with him. If being hit by lightning isn't a sign from God that you are in deep, deep shiat... well why do you believe in God at all?


Google "church roof collapse kills" and you'll lose count of how many times god has attempted to kill off his own followers. Now Google "roof falls on satan worshipper" and do the math ;)
 
2009-08-05 03:18:06 PM  

murfshay22: What a lightning victim may sound like (new window)


Excellent. I had a good chuckle.
 
2009-08-05 03:18:19 PM  

pope183: Did I ever tell you I been struck by lightning seven times?


I didn't like that movie, but every time that dude got started again I Lol'd
 
2009-08-05 03:18:24 PM  
That's why I go to church. I do alot of golfing with my atheist buddy.
 
2009-08-05 03:18:28 PM  

ptelg: So what you're saying is that God cannot intervene in a random event and spare the life of a believer?


If I believed in an omnipotent God I would not believe that being struck by lightning was a random event.

/agnostic
//don't know, don't really care
///if there is a higher power it's so far beyond my tiny existence that I probably couldn't even being to comprehend it
 
2009-08-05 03:19:05 PM  

ptelg: Examining your life after a near death experience can result in you finding out you're destined for hell. So best to live in denial.

/Because if there's a just, loving and benevolent god.
//I shouldn't exist.


I'm not a believer, but why? In most any christian sect I can think of their is room for repentance. Unless you've been out killing hookers for fun. Then only 3/4s of them have room for repentance.
 
2009-08-05 03:19:25 PM  
thm-a03.yimg.com

It's an omen.
Resistance is futile.
 
2009-08-05 03:19:37 PM  
The similarities between fundies and victims of domestic abuse are shocking.

/Dad only punishes us because he loves us, and because we have it coming.
//Subsitute "God" for "Dad".
 
2009-08-05 03:20:01 PM  
"It's a miracle of God that's the only explanation I've had. I've had people say you're a lucky guy or how fortunate you were. I say I am blessed."

Why do theists feel compelled to say such utterly stupid things?
 
2009-08-05 03:21:15 PM  

glenlivid: Jument: EggFool: I believe God is the dude chucking around the lightning bolts in the first place... But yeah, you're blessed, buddy.

Yeah, pet peeve. People who believe in God apparently have no logical reasoning skills. You never hear them say "thank you God, for almost killing me". If anything, this guy should be frantically examining his life trying to figure out why God is so angry with him. If being hit by lightning isn't a sign from God that you are in deep, deep shiat... well why do you believe in God at all?

Google "church roof collapse kills" and you'll lose count of how many times god has attempted to kill off his own followers. Now Google "roof falls on satan worshipper" and do the math ;)


And don't even get me started on those "religious pilgrimages", stomping each other to death so they can get closer and have the statue bless them so they can go to heaven. If you come back alive, you HAVE to go next year, to atone for your horrid actions the year before.
 
2009-08-05 03:21:40 PM  
I hate these kind of articles. 'I thank god for saving me!' Bullshiat.

If it was part of god's plan, then belief in god shouldn't matter. Why believe in god, it doesn't change anything?

If it wasn't god's plan, then why claim that god is omnipotent?
 
2009-08-05 03:21:52 PM  
CrankMyBlueSax:
"It's a miracle of God that's the only explanation I've had. I've had people say you're a lucky guy or how fortunate you were. I say I am blessed."

Why do theists feel compelled to say such utterly stupid things?


It's not by intelligent design.
 
2009-08-05 03:23:58 PM  

Sticky Hands: ptelg: Examining your life after a near death experience can result in you finding out you're destined for hell. So best to live in denial.

/Because if there's a just, loving and benevolent god.
//I shouldn't exist.

I'm not a believer, but why? In most any christian sect I can think of their is room for repentance. Unless you've been out killing hookers for fun. Then only 3/4s of them have room for repentance.


Actually, you can be forgiven for everything EXCEPT killing yourself.

yup

the 'churchers' didn't want you to think well, if heaven is so great, I'll just off myself now and start the party.
 
2009-08-05 03:24:37 PM  
www.kaitimae.com

Lightning hot.
 
2009-08-05 03:28:13 PM  
Wait, dude, you just had a near-death lightning strike, and you take this as a symbol you're blessed?

/shakes head
//doesn't believe in blessings
 
2009-08-05 03:28:47 PM  

Ramona A Stone: pope183: Did I ever tell you I been struck by lightning seven times?

I didn't like that movie, but every time that dude got started again I Lol'd


yeah those parts kept me awake
 
2009-08-05 03:28:49 PM  
It's like listening to a NASCAR driver thank Jesus for winning, because Jesus hates them other 41 fellas.
 
2009-08-05 03:31:50 PM  

pendy16: Lightning hot.


Gotta be one of my favourite "one spot" cartoons.:-)
 
2009-08-05 03:33:13 PM  

EggFool: glenlivid: Jument: EggFool: I believe God is the dude chucking around the lightning bolts in the first place... But yeah, you're blessed, buddy.

Yeah, pet peeve. People who believe in God apparently have no logical reasoning skills. You never hear them say "thank you God, for almost killing me". If anything, this guy should be frantically examining his life trying to figure out why God is so angry with him. If being hit by lightning isn't a sign from God that you are in deep, deep shiat... well why do you believe in God at all?

Google "church roof collapse kills" and you'll lose count of how many times god has attempted to kill off his own followers. Now Google "roof falls on satan worshipper" and do the math ;)

And don't even get me started on those "religious pilgrimages", stomping each other to death so they can get closer and have the statue bless them so they can go to heaven. If you come back alive, you HAVE to go next year, to atone for your horrid actions the year before.


I'm sure they just look down while standing on some dudes face and shrug.

If I believed in this great place called heaven, full of all my dead relatives (which isn't exactly heaven to me, but whatever), and I believed that life was "hell on earth", I'd be standing in every lightening storm I could find. I'd also stop paying attention when crossing the street, and I'd become a HUGE advocate of extreme sports. And when I finally died while hang gliding across the Grand Canyon, I'd just act all dumb when god asked me if I was actually trying to commit suicide.

I did love the line "People who believe in God apparently have no logical reasoning skills", btw. Cause you probably could have just stopped there ;)
 
2009-08-05 03:34:12 PM  
I was driving home early sunday morning through bakersfield
Listening to gospel music on the colored radio station
And the preacher said, you know you always have the
Lord by your side
And I was so pleased to be informed of this that I ran
Twenty red lights in his honor
Thank you jesus, thank you lord

/I had an arrangement to meet a girl, and I was kind of late...
 
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