FARK.com: (4546749) "TSA brings full body scanning to Cleveland airport." Lament the loss of your civil liberties if you must, but remember the poor TSA agent who is forced to look at naked Clevelanders every day

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(Some Guy)		"TSA brings full body scanning to Cleveland airport." Lament the loss of your civil liberties if you must, but remember the poor TSA agent who is forced to look at naked Clevelanders every day (wkyc.com)		254
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4358 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jul 2009 at 10:40 PM | Favorite | share:

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Calmamity

2009-07-31 07:10:47 PM

Fu*k the TSA.

They should have to give oral to every single person forced to go through those scanners.

cambie

2009-07-31 07:13:51 PM

I guess my days of flying with weed are numbered.

Pocket Ninja

2009-07-31 07:34:45 PM

What's next, of course, is the website that caters to full body scanning porn, with mostly staged shots of blurry-faced, body-shape-distorted airport travelers posed in erotic positions. But if you click the "amateur" tab, and then scroll down to the "spycam" section, what you'll find are camera phone shots uploaded by enterprising TSA guards from their cubicles. This will be the site's most popular area. These images will be copied and re-copied, Photoshopped into a variety of more straight-laced porn images. Eventually, one of the individuals whose image was copied will recognize the butterfly vibrator she'd been wearing that day through security--the most humiliating day of her life, thank you very much--and she'll realize that she's now the star in a multi-page bukkake photo shoot involving Asian men, and she'll sue. And the website will claim all sorts of First Amendment protections, and the TSA will launch a massive internal investigation and implement rules banning cell phones in body scanning offices, but by then it won't really matter because the first Internal Body Probes will have been introduced at airports and x-ray body scanning will be just a distant, fond memory.

basemetal

2009-07-31 07:37:05 PM

Too damned invasive. If they want to pat me down, I'm okay with that but they have no right to see my wang. My huge and precious wang.

bronyaur1

2009-07-31 08:37:43 PM

It's all security theatre, meant to make us all believe that we are safer when we really aren't.

Walker

2009-07-31 10:45:37 PM

They can't see my wang unless I can see theirs. That's the way I was brought up.

/daddy had a big wang

Karma Chameleon

2009-07-31 10:46:59 PM

This is bullshiat. And nothing will be done about it. We deserve what is happening to us as a nation.

Daraymann

2009-07-31 10:47:41 PM

Because we all know that Cleveland is a major hub for terrorist activity.

T-Luv

2009-07-31 10:47:52 PM

What if I just got done swimming? Do I at least get a chance to explain that there was shrinkage?

maxheck

2009-07-31 10:48:26 PM

Douglas Quaid could tell you the trouble this will cause.

Klippoklondike

2009-07-31 10:49:41 PM

Those scanners cost too much, why not just get a pair of these?

img384.imageshack.us

spaten

2009-07-31 10:50:11 PM

trillium13

2009-07-31 10:50:33 PM

I kinda skimmed over it, but I didn't see anything about who is going to be scanned? Is this for every passenger? So every passenger either gets to be scanned or patted down?

Seriously, what was wrong with what they had already? Every little tiny thing sets those detectors off, so it's not like they were freaking missing anything, were they?

I can maybe see going through that scanner or a pat down if you set off the detector. Better than a freaking humiliating strip down in front of the TSA officer. Otherwise, wtf??

kidsizedcoffin

2009-07-31 10:51:23 PM

Do these work well with chainmail? Or perhaps some fun shaped aluminum foil pieces attached to the inside of clothing?

mehaul5013

2009-07-31 10:51:30 PM

I wonder what these things do to your body. somehow I doubt that it is 10,000 times less than exposure to cell phones.

I don't know about you but I cant see through clothes when i use my cellphone.

IStateTheObvious

2009-07-31 10:52:46 PM

Within 6 months there will be naked pics of peoples scans posted to the internet.

Better Off Dead

2009-07-31 10:54:45 PM

I wonder if they are hiring

/perv

Need_MindBleach

2009-07-31 10:55:01 PM

The general public of this country has turned into frightened sheep. Fark the TSA.

yukichigai

2009-07-31 10:55:07 PM

Pocket Ninja: What's next, of course, is the website that caters to full body scanning porn, with mostly staged shots of blurry-faced, body-shape-distorted airport travelers posed in erotic positions. But if you click the "amateur" tab, and then scroll down to the "spycam" section, what you'll find are camera phone shots uploaded by enterprising TSA guards from their cubicles. This will be the site's most popular area. These images will be copied and re-copied, Photoshopped into a variety of more straight-laced porn images. Eventually, one of the individuals whose image was copied will recognize the butterfly vibrator she'd been wearing that day

This is the part where my brain stopped processing what you wrote and was on to its own delicious fantasy. I'm sure I'm not alone.

IStateTheObvious

2009-07-31 10:55:11 PM

trillium13: I kinda skimmed over it, but I didn't see anything about who is going to be scanned? Is this for every passenger? So every passenger either gets to be scanned or patted down?

Seriously, what was wrong with what they had already? Every little tiny thing sets those detectors off, so it's not like they were freaking missing anything, were they?

I can maybe see going through that scanner or a pat down if you set off the detector. Better than a freaking humiliating strip down in front of the TSA officer. Otherwise, wtf??

Clearly you haven't been paying attention. The 9/11 hijackers were armed to the teeth with C-4 and all ceramic guns that don't exist. Surely you didn't think they could take over a plane with a 1" exposed razor blade? And you couldn't possibly believe that a plane crashing into a skyscraper is enough to bring it down...that's unpossible.

corn-bread

2009-07-31 10:55:21 PM

Let's say that the image scanner does find something, like a gun or something. Are we to believe that this piece of evidence, potentially very useful in a criminal prosecution, is just deleted never to be seen again?

Yea, I smell a steaming pile of bullshiat here.

trapped-in-CH

2009-07-31 10:56:21 PM

I can't wait for them to freak out at the first colostomy bag. There's even detachable ones. "You wanna know what's in here? Sure, let me pull it out! Here- SPLAT."

Probably get tasered, but soooooo worth it.

Ryker's Peninsula

2009-07-31 10:56:35 PM

A lot of people flying in and out of Cleveland are going to get steamed over this.

Eyebleach

2009-07-31 10:57:32 PM

IStateTheObvious: Within 6 months there will be naked pics of peoples scans posted to the internet.

That is likely the only thing that could derail the plans to have the scanners in every airport in the US. Many of these people are just fine with the scanners because they don't realize the resolution of which they are capable. Blissful ignorance is blissful, I suppose.

farkin_Gary

2009-07-31 10:57:40 PM

bronyaur1: It's all security theatre, meant to make us all believe that we are safer when we really aren't.

Security Theatre?:

i10.photobucket.com

Karma Chameleon

2009-07-31 10:58:30 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: A lot of people flying in and out of Cleveland are going to get steamed over this.

pic.phyrefile.com

maxheck

2009-07-31 10:58:31 PM

kidsizedcoffin:

Do these work well with chainmail? Or perhaps some fun shaped aluminum foil pieces attached to the inside of clothing?

A foil-wrapped cucumber?

kb7rky

2009-07-31 10:59:38 PM

I got paid $70 to have my fat ass scanned when they were developing these to develop a database of "average" people. All I did was stand there for 10 minutes, holding onto a bicycle handlebar over my head while the MRI (yes, a farking MRI) whirled around me, then got my $70 check.

Those farktards even took out TAXES for that. Why? I wasn't an employee of any company...I was a volunteer. To this day (10+ years later), I *still* can't understand why...

kb7rky

2009-07-31 11:00:25 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: A lot of people flying in and out of Cleveland are going to get steamed over this.

AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaand the thread is over.

nygenxer

2009-07-31 11:00:31 PM

Coming soon to every train station, government building, hospital, school, mall and movie theater near you.

/Nothing to see here citizen, except for my weiner.

trillium13

2009-07-31 11:01:43 PM

IStateTheObvious: trillium13: I kinda skimmed over it, but I didn't see anything about who is going to be scanned? Is this for every passenger? So every passenger either gets to be scanned or patted down?

Seriously, what was wrong with what they had already? Every little tiny thing sets those detectors off, so it's not like they were freaking missing anything, were they?

I can maybe see going through that scanner or a pat down if you set off the detector. Better than a freaking humiliating strip down in front of the TSA officer. Otherwise, wtf??

Clearly you haven't been paying attention. The 9/11 hijackers were armed to the teeth with C-4 and all ceramic guns that don't exist. Surely you didn't think they could take over a plane with a 1" exposed razor blade? And you couldn't possibly believe that a plane crashing into a skyscraper is enough to bring it down...that's unpossible.

Oh! Silly me.

tagjim

2009-07-31 11:01:54 PM

l951b951

2009-07-31 11:03:30 PM

Zomg! I'm stopping yoru 3+ oz liquid terrorists from getting on a plane.

Also, I see your tiny wang.

Feel safer yet?

Begoggle

2009-07-31 11:04:28 PM

First GIS result for "sexy Cleveland".
Trust me, do NOT look at the rest.

nastro

2009-07-31 11:05:15 PM

TWO...WEEKS

roflmaonow

2009-07-31 11:05:29 PM

trapped-in-CH: I can't wait for them to freak out at the first colostomy bag. There's even detachable ones. "You wanna know what's in here? Sure, let me pull it out! Here- SPLAT."

Probably get tasered, but soooooo worth it.

HAHAHA Thanks for providing much needed laugh after stressful study session. LOL

silent tom

2009-07-31 11:06:12 PM

so, if they scan a child then wouldn't they be guilty of possessing child-porn? no way MY daughters are flying through cleveland

eraser8

2009-07-31 11:06:24 PM

I don't see the big deal. The TSA already has authority to strip search us. I'd much rather be scanned than stripped. And I don't care if anyone sees my wang because the human wang is a beautiful thing.

The Decider

2009-07-31 11:06:33 PM

A lot of people flying in and out of Cleveland are going to get steamed over this.

.....AAAAAAAAANNNNNDDDDD CUT!

Solty Dog

2009-07-31 11:07:05 PM

Ok we have the full bodied x-rays. Now where are the triple breasted women?

It's 2009. I want my ~~flying car~~ triple breasted woman.

Oznog

2009-07-31 11:07:09 PM

Not how I'd want to spend my day.

kirby528

2009-07-31 11:09:08 PM

Does someone have pics that show the resolution of these things? I seem to remember seeing them in an article somewhere, but I can't remember how good the resolution is.

Amish Tech Support

2009-07-31 11:09:52 PM

kb7rky

2009-07-31 11:10:06 PM

trapped-in-CH: I can't wait for them to freak out at the first colostomy bag. There's even detachable ones. "You wanna know what's in here? Sure, let me pull it out! Here- SPLAT."

Probably get tasered, but soooooo worth it.

Um...*all* colostomy bags are removable

/just sayin'

KimJ

2009-07-31 11:15:21 PM

Cleveland: See our river that catches on fire!

Cleveland "tourism" video (new window)

eraser8

2009-07-31 11:15:24 PM

kirby528: Does someone have pics that show the resolution of these things? I seem to remember seeing them in an article somewhere, but I can't remember how good the resolution is.

Full body scan (pops) (possibly, maybe NSFW?)

Need_MindBleach

2009-07-31 11:16:09 PM

Seriously, I'll be happy when the entire airline industry goes bankrupt. Fark them, they deserve it.

kirby528

2009-07-31 11:18:33 PM

eraser8: kirby528: Does someone have pics that show the resolution of these things? I seem to remember seeing them in an article somewhere, but I can't remember how good the resolution is.

Full body scan (pops) (possibly, maybe NSFW?)

Rather humilitiating that is.

Calmamity: Fu*k the TSA.

They should have to give oral to every single person forced to go through those scanners.

No thanks.
/have you seen the women who work for TSA?

eraser8

2009-07-31 11:18:38 PM

Need_MindBleach: Seriously, I'll be happy when the entire airline industry goes bankrupt.

Agreed. Then scientists will be forced to give us beaming technology!

eraser8

2009-07-31 11:19:26 PM

kirby528: /have you seen the women who work for TSA?

Or, worse: the men.

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