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(Daily Hampshire Gazette)   Chinese restaurant worker chases another employee around restaurant with cleaver during dinner hour No extra charge for floor show   (gazettenet.com ) divider line
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5179 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2003 at 6:21 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2003-02-27 12:39:43 PM  
The man being chased tripped, "and the other guy put a sizable gash in his face with the cleaver," Cheyette said. "Then four guys grabbed him (Zhang)."

That sentence is a lot more fun to read if you pretend that the "(Zhang)" part at the end is a sound effect and not the guys name. In fact that whole sentence could use a little punching up:

The man being chassed tripped (KER-DOINK!), "and the other guy put a sizable gash in his face with the cleaver (CHA-DOOSH!)," Cheyette said. "Then four guys grabbed him (ZHANG!)."

Now THAT'S journalism!
 
2003-02-27 01:45:08 PM  
hehe, I would have said Batman noises (POW, BAP!) but I think the sounds need to be more "Asian" sounding...
 
OBB
2003-02-27 04:24:00 PM  
Overheard from one of the patrons after the chasing incident: 'Honey, I don't think I'm going to order the Cream of Sum Yung Gui'
 
CSB
2003-02-27 06:23:43 PM  
Bruce Lee flirting with the boss again.
 
2003-02-27 06:24:01 PM  
hehe..."and the other guy put a sizable gash"

They said gash.

*giggles more*
 
2003-02-27 06:24:06 PM  
or a squirrel going, "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"
 
2003-02-27 06:24:06 PM  
It tastes like chinken.
 
2003-02-27 06:25:30 PM  
"YOU RET CAT GET WAY, YOU GO IN POT!!!"
 
2003-02-27 06:26:02 PM  
Reinforcing Hop Sing stereotypes.
 
2003-02-27 06:27:55 PM  
If i was there i would have felt compelled to at least give them a few bucks for the floor show
 
2003-02-27 06:28:11 PM  
IT'S CHOWDAH!
 
2003-02-27 06:28:26 PM  
This is in no way intended to be rascit, but: Is it just me, or when you go into a Chinese shop, it always sounds like they're yelling at each other when they're just talking?
 
2003-02-27 06:29:52 PM  
STUPID MONGORIAN! YOU NOT GET PASS MY shiatTY WALL!
 
2003-02-27 06:30:22 PM  
[image from members.rogers.com too old to be available]

Good ol Chinese Waiter.
Did anyone else actually see eXistenZ?
 
2003-02-27 06:30:30 PM  
Thank God it wasn't a dildo.
 
2003-02-27 06:30:48 PM  
Hop Sing has lots of free time on his hands now that he only cooks for Adam.
 
2003-02-27 06:32:42 PM  
Different cultures do converse differently, Mtglu.
Turks, for instance, don't consider it a real conversation unless you can smell the other guy's breath.
You're not being bigoted, just observant.
 
2003-02-27 06:33:11 PM  
I worked at a chinese restaurant when I was in high school. This comes as no surprise.
 
2003-02-27 06:33:47 PM  
That's worth going to Benihana for.
 
2003-02-27 06:34:36 PM  
o/~ Cheng Cheng Cheng goes the trolley / Chang Chang Chang goes the bell! o/~
 
2003-02-27 06:35:05 PM  
Holy crap, he was going to cut the other guy's head off because they argued about whether they should leave the back door open?

I'd hate to see what he did if they tried to decide who gets to clean the place.

Oh wait....

/chinese food yummy
 
2003-02-27 06:35:06 PM  
Me no rike lice.
 
2003-02-27 06:38:08 PM  
O, Mr Ben! You hung rike horse!
 
2003-02-27 06:40:18 PM  
"Turks, for instance, don't consider it a real conversation unless you can smell the other guy's breath."

I know a few people like that...... I always feel like I'm having a having a conversation while slowly walking backwards.
 
2003-02-27 06:40:31 PM  
Existenz was a GREAT flick. No one saw it !
 
2003-02-27 06:44:42 PM  
Yeah, that sounds about right.

"Door open!"
"Door closed!"
*reach for cleaver, await hilarity*

I saw Existenz. Loved "the special".
 
CB
2003-02-27 06:46:34 PM  
I wouldn't order the finger sandwiches there. On a side note, is it next door to a vet's office?
 
Q1
2003-02-27 06:48:10 PM  
"They determined that the two men had been arguing about whether to keep a back door to the outside open or closed."

He chased him with a cleaver and sliced his face over whether the door was open?! Wow. Remind me not to complain about any Chinese cooking.
 
2003-02-27 06:57:21 PM  
Go home town! Good to see some Amherst recognition on fark.
 
2003-02-27 06:58:17 PM  
Didn't the three stooges do this already?
 
2003-02-27 07:08:36 PM  
Mtglu, I've noticed when they speak Cantonese it sounds like they are bickering and yelling. Mandarin sounds like backwards speech. And Fukinese sounds like Lando's co-pilot from "Return of the Jedi."
 
2003-02-27 07:11:41 PM  
Turks, for instance, don't consider it a real conversation unless you can smell the other guy's breath.

Which gets REALLY awkward if you not only don't like being close to other people, but if the Turk is in serious need of an Altoid.

It gets fun sometimes...
 
2003-02-27 07:12:27 PM  
Stephen King did a great version of this in Everything's Eventual. The waiter was French, though, which made it funnier.

And King had a lot more blood. And King's was just a story. Holy Schneikes, that really happened??
 
2003-02-27 07:29:10 PM  
Yikes!

This kind of reminds me of that flick eXistenZ. Though all things considered, this story is scarier.
 
2003-02-27 07:40:59 PM  
Officer Tina Knightly sounds like a porn name.


HeckMonkey: awesome movie!
 
2003-02-27 07:42:28 PM  
... Dogfood!!!! I'll show you dogfood!!!! ...

(no, not a shot at stereotypes; guess what movie)
 
2003-02-27 07:51:14 PM  
Caddyshack
 
2003-02-27 07:52:23 PM  
Kanamit:

Northern Lights
 
2003-02-27 07:53:22 PM  
you go now! no more food! you eat everything . . .

seriously, i worked in a korean restaurant in college and actually this stuff happend daily. it was usually thrown though.
 
2003-02-27 08:05:54 PM  
Give a warm applause to our winner MilkBone ladies & gentlemen!
 
2003-02-27 08:19:36 PM  
If anyone watches Max-X they will understand this...

Another reason why guys are stupid!


Example 3A: Guys with meat cleavers
 
2003-02-27 08:20:13 PM  
This is too funny. I see more fights between Chinese restaurant employees than any tough man contest. It's great to see wok's flying at people and to hear cursing in Chinese.

The best place is on US 23 at the Owen Road exit in Fenton, Michigan. Those people hate each other. They'll argue and hurl stuff at each other just for fun. I don't go there often anymore because the food sucks ass. But I have seen 3 fights there between employees in 3 consecutive visits. I think the place is called Golden Bozo or Dragon or Shower. Something like that.

Another good place is in Madison Heights, between 14 and 13 Mile Road.

Sorry, nothing on 8 Mile but titty bars and white boys rapping.
 
2003-02-27 08:52:13 PM  
EEEEEEeeeeee!! I told you to get that steenking dog out of heeeerrrreeeee!!!

/anyone read Everything's Eventual?
 
2003-02-27 08:53:47 PM  
me so angry!
 
2003-02-27 08:53:57 PM  
oops. I see someone else has. :P sorry for my useless post above. but I'm not sorry about this one! haha suckers!
 
2003-02-27 09:03:42 PM  
Kanamit

*blushes, whips out Thank You list*
 
2003-02-27 09:20:02 PM  
Mtglu,

Agreed. When I worked at a Chinese restaurant, a regular conversation seemed like it could have been a fight to an English speaker. Just a cultural nuance.
 
2003-02-27 09:48:29 PM  
You owe me a new Keyboard Uncledeercamp that 8 Mile Rd Joke was great. TRUMPS TYCOONS AND BT'S!
 
2003-02-28 12:08:59 AM  
"Off to fortune cookie factory for you!"
 
2003-02-28 12:15:53 AM  
"And after Zhang was arrested and led out of the restaurant by police, the owner apologized to the patrons that tonight's dinner special had been cancelled."
 
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