If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Whitehouse.org)   New federal France-bashing standards introduced   (whitehouse.org) divider line 79
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

7305 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2003 at 11:15 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2003-02-26 07:35:08 PM
Oh come on! Leave me alone already!
 
2003-02-26 10:36:25 PM
hahaha




Farkman says "france surrenders"
 
2003-02-26 10:37:08 PM
does anyone else find this pic comical?


 
2003-02-26 11:18:44 PM
Just more government intrusion into what Americans can do all by themselves.

Bush is an evil liberal.

Evvvviiiiiiillll.

We don't need no standards for a common thing.

RF
 
2003-02-26 11:19:28 PM
Ya but what does whitehouse.com think?
 
2003-02-26 11:19:56 PM
There should be no standards for France bashing.
 
2003-02-26 11:21:49 PM
I hate the surrender monkeys more than most but, "Be more funny".
 
2003-02-26 11:21:56 PM
Whitehouse.org is hilarious. Read the "Kids only" section. Great stuff.

I can't believe there wasn't a "France surrenders."
 
2003-02-26 11:22:16 PM
You didn't do very well!
The Cheat is STILL smoking!
 
2003-02-26 11:23:06 PM
We are experiencing heavy call volume. Please sray on the line. Your call is very important to us.
 
2003-02-26 11:23:08 PM
I don't like the France part of Fark. Of course, given my name, that should be obvious.
 
2003-02-26 11:25:44 PM
Great satire.

good political sites for liberals like me...
cursor.org

underreported.com
 
2003-02-26 11:26:47 PM

France sucks. As evidenced by this caricature of the typical French'man'. I got nothin'. Nothing other than this wicked pic that is.
 
2003-02-26 11:29:56 PM
Actually, if a few of the guidelines sound reasonable is it still considered satire?
 
2003-02-26 11:30:31 PM
Morally, I oppose a new war in Iraq.

However, if it'll piss off the French, I say launch those tomahawks!

What asshat gave them a permanent seat on the security council anyway?
 
2003-02-26 11:33:29 PM
wah wah, i hate the french. wah wah, i'm a little crying biatch.
 
2003-02-26 11:36:38 PM
"..fussy-yet-filthy pansies..
....Franco Sapien.... shower..."

That was my only but really really really good laugh of the day! whew.
 
2003-02-26 11:38:14 PM
It it wasn't for the US, everyone in France would be speaking German right now. The French are pissed about it, the Germans are pissed about it. We should just let Germany re-take possession. Of course, would they want it back?
 
2003-02-26 11:38:29 PM
http://www.funforwards.com/flash/september02/saddam.swf
 
2003-02-26 11:38:37 PM
If this wasn't a joke, I'd say it was the greatest thing Ari Fleischer has ever done in his life.
 
2003-02-26 11:39:42 PM
wah wah wah, cheese eating surrender monkeys.

Still, better than obese, war monging, chauvinistic white trash.

/asbestos
 
2003-02-26 11:42:20 PM
"Good evening and welcome to another edition of 'Prejudice' - the show that gives you a chance to have a go at Wops, Krauts, Nigs, Eyeties, Gippos, Bubbles, Froggies, Chinks, Yidds, Jocks, Polacks, Paddies and Dagoes!"


Sorry, had to share that.

[/lame Python outburst]
 
2003-02-26 11:44:24 PM
What about us slopes, I'm gonna call the NAACP. Leaving us slopes out of your bashing.
 
2003-02-26 11:44:39 PM
 
2003-02-26 11:45:32 PM
Doesn't a nice bowl of unbathed a$$hole onion soup sound yummy?
 
2003-02-26 11:45:35 PM
..you farkers ain't lived till you've risen to coffee and apricot croissants in Paris at 6:00 in the morning..

I surrender..
 
2003-02-26 11:49:06 PM
 
2003-02-26 11:54:44 PM
oh sweet jesus yes.....fresh, good coffee and pastry made with butter (not shortening like in a lot of mass produced pastries purchased in grocery stores or "bakeries" like Le Boulangerie chain). Butter makes much better pastries, you ass-cantaloupes! Shortening (also found in mass-produced "buttercreams") is the sUxøR when it's cold in pastry. Now, if only I could eat good pastry and coffee for breakfast on a regular basis.

This is not to say that there's no good pastry in the US....or that all pastry in France is really good or exceptional. But damnit, motherfarkers, stop using shortening!!!!
 
2003-02-26 11:55:49 PM
Ludovico - See, that's why we Americans are fed up with the French. I think all Americans, liberal, conservative, anti-war, pro-war, whatever...need to stand up and say to all the anti-Americans, hey, fark you.

Anyhow, if you're French, enjoy the coming American boycott of French goods.
 
2003-02-26 11:58:50 PM
I get it. The French surrender. No, we hate the French. Oh, I get it.

Yawn.

How about something funny?

Please?
 
2003-02-27 12:00:31 AM
"Americans shall promptly initiate a boycott of the 'French Kiss' - replacing it with PATRIOTIC expressions of affection such as the 'Texas Uvula Wallop" and the "Dixieland Stinky Finger.'"

ROTFLMAO!!!!! This site ROX.
 
2003-02-27 12:00:38 AM
QuesoDelicioso: I was born and raised in Texas. But check out this french chick. Ohh la la! I wouldn't boycot that, if you know what I mean.

 
2003-02-27 12:07:40 AM
What's the best thing about the French?

Ok, I've got nothing.

On a related note, King George has another 8 months before a (hopefully) better replacement is elected to remove this chowderhead. If the Dems had half a brain, they would not put some ultra-liberal tree hugger up as his adversary.

Hell, I might vote for him rather than abstaining.
 
2003-02-27 12:11:06 AM
To add to my previous post - Hillary is not a choice. I'd actually vote for Dubya than see that cooch as Pres.
 
2003-02-27 12:13:59 AM
"How about something funny?"-Smails

I will give you humor, Remember Kabul, people you know the place that is being rebuilt and now the most modern city in Afganistan. You know the place the taliban elite ran from like french school girls when the Allied forces were about to take it.

They left there thugs and bullies behind like the true cowards that they are. The locals proceeded to hang the thugs and taliban supporters from trees and stone them to death. Then just to make sure they were dead riddled there corpses with bullets.

On an off chance do you lefties think that when Saddam and his minority government is defeated, the locals that had family members tortured and killed by Saddam will be looking for revenge?

I do, when the doe eye dipshiats that flocked to support this dictator are being chased down in the streets of Iraq, by vengful mobs and being hung from trees and bleed to death. Do you think I will shed a tear for a single one of them?

Nope eat it and reap what you sow traitors. Goodnight
 
2003-02-27 12:18:33 AM
Yes, the article is satire, humor, funny, ha ha. I'm all for the occasional french joke, and I'm not real happy about France's dealings with Iraq. I do have to say in response to this (from the article):

As you know, the French have always been a thorn in the side to everyone.

The French sent us troops to help us defeat the British back in the days of the original President George W. They also gave us the Statue of Liberty.

This has been a Minute From History...
 
2003-02-27 12:19:42 AM
QuesoDelicioso - I read your profile. Are you about to commit impulse manslaughter? You go girl!

I went to Paris and this totally hot chick in the train ticket office was completely rude to me. I asked her if she was flirting with me and then she refused to sell me a ticket. What a great trip that was. I love the French!

I know some tight assed American people who need to de-clench their anus.
 
2003-02-27 12:27:28 AM
Just to clear things up the modern and even past currrent French government had nothing to do with American Independance. The current French Government has never been an ally to the modern western world.

The last time they helped us was when they were in a war with England and were under a King or dictator(however you call it). They have not been a productive member of the modern world for many years. Also they pulled out of nato in 1966 and have no real power.
 
2003-02-27 12:34:27 AM
Harmonia is over in Iraq right now as a human shield for Saddam. I say for Saddam and not for Iraq because Saddam is doling out the human shields to defend his military targets as we speak.

I'm not gonna feel sorry in the least bit if we end up attacking and winning and the crowds of people are chasing his dumb ass through the streets with knives and machetes.
 
2003-02-27 12:39:26 AM
Rikulrn-
I asked for funny. You produced. Nothing funnier than political nonsense!
At least France "pulled out of NATO in 1966" and therefore hasn't produced any bastard children.
Oh, Rikulrn, you slay me!
 
2003-02-27 12:41:12 AM
Hey Bbcrackmonkey, how the hell are you?

Is that true about Harmonia, or did you just make that up? That would be funny though.
 
2003-02-27 12:46:34 AM
Heh, my mom says France really is good at surrendering. Look at WW2. And if they jump into any kind of war, they wait it out and see who's winning, and join that side. We about had the British beat when they decided to help up; all they did was just speed victory along a little bit, 'cause we had the Brits on the run.

FRANCE SURRENDERS!
 
2003-02-27 12:54:09 AM
America defeated the Brits on its own
America won WWII single-handedly
America lost the Vietnam War because of the hippies
America is invincible

If you believe any of this, you need help.
 
2003-02-27 12:55:15 AM
Everyone jokes about how Americans are all jingoistic bastards that hate the French. Well, with good reason.

After the Statue of Liberty (a private Frenchman's donation), what have they done for us?

Nothin. 'Cept complain and call us warmongers when we are about to shut down their unsanctioned, illegal, United Nations resolution-ignoring supply of black liquid crack from their business partner in Iraq. That, my friend, is why their government is up our ass. It really is about the oil. It's the FRENCH OIL. Did I also mention that for its size that France is the largest arms dealer in the world? I mean, the US had Iran-Contra, but those people would sell missiles to ANYONE. It has been proven. So not only are they giving money to Mr. Nuke freak, but they have been selling all sorts of crazy shiat to all these weirdos that we would think unconscionable to sell yo-yos to.

Did I also mention that we saved their asses twice, and the way that reward us is that they get mad and preoccupied with the manner that we hold our crab forks in their presence and say the word "Croissant." They're morons. They are worried about the trivialities of life when the missiles come flying in.

We hate the French because they have no sense of perspective, and a fark off attitude about the world around them. That is all. Many would argue that Americans are like this. Let me state this, it is not a natural state for an American to have an angry, fark off attitude (outside New York). This rabid behavior is a RECENT (meaning last 20 years) and direct reaction to people like France selling anti-ship missiles to Iraq so they could shoot them at US frigates.

So they are good cooks. So what? I don't doubt that you would be a good bunch of chefs if that was the meaning of life to you. Napolean only took Europe. Our buddies the Brits took one quarter of the world's land... but their food is bad. I know who I prefer.

I'd march with those Brit boys to the very gates of hell if necessary to see them win anything. They're a nation that you can get in bed with and feel good about in the morning... WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE, Know what I MEAN.
 
2003-02-27 12:59:22 AM
Ludovico, fine fine. You seem in high spirits today. No I did not make it up. I heard it from a bunch of fellow farkers in the Scotland threads. It seems like something he would do, so I'm not discounting it as just a rumor. He has, after all, been MIA on Fark for the past few weeks.
 
2003-02-27 01:04:54 AM
So if the US attacks and wins, and you see a very surprised guy running from a crowd of angry Iraqis on the streets of Baghdad saying in a really unintelligible Scottish accent "Ah deed eet all fer you, yae ingrrrates!", then you can be sure it is Harmonia and you will also be assured that he won't be joining in our spirited debates anymore.
 
2003-02-27 01:07:17 AM
Really quickly:

1) I almost always have a dislike for this kinda satire, but that was actually good.

2) What has France done for us recently? What have we done for them RECENTLY? You expect them to be our slaves, 60 years afterwards? I'll tell you this: Britian (or anyone) isn't supporting us now because we were part of the winning team all the way back in WW II.

3) Yikes, 2) was already much more than I wanted so say. Everybody have a nice day.
 
2003-02-27 01:11:35 AM
El_Camino_SS
I really, really hope you are joking and not mindlessly bleating out that "we saved your asses..." BS again.

Just stop it with the blanket statements. You and your kind embarrass me.
 
2003-02-27 01:22:08 AM
Moving forward, U.S. journalists and historians alike are to incinerate any liberal textbooks which incorrectly assert that the French saved our ragtag, shoeless asses at Yorktown during America's noble fight for independence from those charmingly irascible and currently endearing limeys

HEHEHEHEHEHE funny how the dubya fan club are careful to never mention this when talking about "saving asses" in wars.
 
2003-02-27 01:36:07 AM
El_Camino_SS
I'd march with those Brit boys to the very gates of hell if necessary to see them win anything. They're a nation that you can get in bed with and feel good about in the morning... WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE, Know what I MEAN.

uh, are you trying to say that you're a homosexual? Because I kinda already figure that from the rest of your post.
 
2003-02-27 01:45:17 AM
Tommyg, what's so bad about homosexuality my suitemate at college is gay and he's one of my best friends, so you leave sexuality out of this you bastard. Gays are people too and I don't take kindly to this prejudicial insinuation.



...

Gotcha! hahaha. Thought I was serious didn't you?
 
2003-02-27 01:55:36 AM






So unpopular at home only one year ago, and now a hero for the world with unanimous support. I can only be admirative.
 
2003-02-27 02:06:46 AM
"All American colleges and universities must immediately dispense with the folly of teaching the pathetic "Soft Philosophies" of Voltaire, Sartre, and Descartes - and begin aggressively indoctrinating our starry-eyed youth to the profound, righteous, and less tediously cerebral works of Hannity, Rumsfeld, Noonan, and The Rock."

Brilliant - don't forget Karl Rove and Paul Wolfowitz.
 
2003-02-27 02:16:16 AM
What a farking joke (some) Americans are, this whole France thing is getting ridiculous, boycot all the wine & Belgian fries you want,they don't give a shiat, keep talking about showering 4 times a day to smell nice (while pointlessly depleating the earth's water reserves), like the little prim and proper coonts you are, keep visiting France more than any country in the world and continue to say it positively sucks, keep calling them cowards after you are the ones who don't have the balls to go after South Korea, oh wait, im sorry, I forgot you guys are so brave...your gonna invade Irak who will put up a great fight with their non-existent mass destruction weapons.
Please, eat fark and die you fat ass burger eating psycho Neanderthals.
 
2003-02-27 02:17:53 AM
I shared a house with two French sisters last year. They were both beautiful, intelligent, shaved their legs AND under their arms, and bathed every day.
Unfortunately, I was spoken for at the time, so I didn't get to 'hit' either of them.
My point? oh yeah... umm, that stereotypes are bad.
 
2003-02-27 02:18:10 AM
I've watched Hannity and Colmes before. Its pretty much a berating session by Hannity against whatever liberal guest they have on, followed by an apology by Holmes and more berating by Hannity. It would seem that those two play the sadist & masochist role quite nicely.
 
2003-02-27 02:31:45 AM
John_Mach - when I am taking my 3rd or 4th shower, does the drain somehow go into another dimension from which there is no escape? Is my shower drain (and toilet and sink) some sort of portal? Other than the water that has been flung into space, I am guessing that we have the same amount as we always have...

And no, I guess we don't have the nads to go after South Korea, but wouldn't they be surprised if we did, seeing as how it is North Korea that is the totalitarian Communist state?

As for France being the most visited...prove it. When most everyone who visits brings back some story about rude treatment, there must be some grain of truth to the whole thing. I'm sorry their culture is being devoured and all but what are you gonna do? No one is forcing American culture on anyone (it could just be the flavor of the month, how long are decades really, in the span of history?).

And I am sorry that Iraq won't put up enough of a fight to suit you. But that is why we train, that is why we invest in techology so that we become an irresistable force. To do any less with the resources we have would be criminal. As General Patton said, our job is to make the other poor SOB die for his country.

I think I'll go have that burger now. You just sit there and have a nice cup of STFU.
 
2003-02-27 02:49:08 AM
A french joke about Americans = Americans trying to tell french jokes.

See, they're sneaky like that.
 
2003-02-27 03:14:21 AM
 
2003-02-27 03:53:57 AM
Hey JOHN-MACH-

Why don't you lick my left nut and make my right one jealous???

Don't worry, I won't shower first, since hygiene offends you like so many of your gallic surrender buddies.

Funny how you lot neglect your bathing and laundry, but you can get your flags whiter than white!!!

Oh and all you people thinking they owe us for WWII, they don't. However, they DO owe us for shielding them during the Cold War- we went to a lot of trouble and expense to protect them, while they don't spend money on their own defense.
Then as soon as the threat disappears they think they don't have to scratch our back too- and worse, actively OPPOSE us when we try to act in our own defense.
 
2003-02-27 03:54:59 AM
i hate ze french. but taht nevertheless wasn't funny.
 
2003-02-27 04:09:45 AM
HugeMidget: According to the World Tourism Organization, France is by far the most visited country in the world, see
http://www.world-tourism.org/market_research/facts&figures/latest_data/tita01t op15._07-02pdf.pdf
 
2003-02-27 04:21:26 AM
 
2003-02-27 04:42:54 AM
Ozzymandias, very clever. Comparing Bush to a monkey like that. Incredibly original as well. I'll bet you made that entire thing yourself. Great photoshop man...
 
2003-02-27 07:47:12 AM
Posted this yesterday in the Chinese-Game thread, but this seems much more appropriate...

The Complete Military History of France

Gallic Wars - Lost
In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history,France is conquered by of all things an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost.
Saved at last by a schizophrenic woman who inadvertantly creates...

The First Rule of French Warfare:
"France's armies are only victorious when
not led by a Frenchman"

Italian Wars - Lost
France becomes the first and only country ever to
lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion
France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

Thirty Years War
France is technically not a participant, but manages to be invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her

War of Devolution - Tied
Frenchman take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux

The Dutch War - Tied

War of Augsberg/King Williams War/ French & Indian War- Lost - but claimed as a tie
Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of Spanish Succession - Lost
The War also gave the French their first taste of Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution
In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later named "de Gaulle Syndrome" and leads to:

The Second Rule of French Warfare:
"France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won
Primarily due to the fact that the opponent was also French

Napoleonic Wars - Lost
Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to the leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

Franco-Prussian War - Lost
Germany plays the role of drunk frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night

World War I - tied and on the way to losing France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out not only what its like to sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein". Sadly widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost.
Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst-Wessel Song.

Indochina War - Lost.
French forces plead sickness, take to bed with Dien Bien Flu

Algerian Rebellion - Lost.
Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a non-Turkik Muslim force since the Crusades and produces:

The First Rule of Muslim Warfare:
"We can always beat the French"
This Muslim Rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, etc.

War on Terrorism
France mindful of history surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonalds.

* Ongoing*
French incursion in the Ivory Coast where they are
getting their butts kicked.

The key question for any country "allied" withFrance is not "Can we count on the French?". It is instead:
"How long until France caves?"

"Going to war without France is like going hunting
without your accordion."
 
2003-02-27 08:14:02 AM
I have to say that this whitehouse.org is savagely funny and yet uncomfortably accurate.
Don't know why I've never heard of it before.
 
2003-02-27 08:18:20 AM
...check out the 'Yo! Say Cheese' under KIDS.
http://www.whitehouse.org/kids/saycheese.asp
 
2003-02-27 08:25:06 AM
I'd like to answer point by point a precedent post (Hubiestubert)

A country with such a military record would have disappeared from a long time.

French Military History in a Nutshell
The Complete Military History of France

"- Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian."

The war against Gauls : France didn't exist. in fact we are descendants of both the Gallics and the Romans. Anyway, Brittany didn't do better then Gauls, only Picts (Scotts) resisted.

"- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Mostly Lost" Haha. Won of course. The end is the Castillon Battle of 1453 : end of the british presence in the south west of France, until the pacific invasion of british elders this last years.
Calais remained english until 1558. The duke of Guise got rid of the British after a 6 days campaign.


"-Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians."

Never heard of the "Furia francese" ? They were not wars against Italians but a subtile fight between prominents powers in Europe, especially France and Spain. The military result was zero for everybody. The cultural was great : italian renaissance led to french renaissance.


"- Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots"

You know nothing. Even the term of Huguenot is anachronical. It was a civil war. It ended thanks to the great king (the greater I think) Henri the fourth.



"- Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her."

Huge ignorance. France ended the conflict, and won Lorraine and Alsace by the treaty of Westphalia (1648)



"- War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux."

France won Lille and the most part of the actual département of Le Nord. Vauban began the construction of hundreds of fortresses qhich guaranteed what he called "le pré carré". France has almost today's shape.


"-The Dutch War - Tied"

What "dutch war", there have been dozens of dutch wars.

"-War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power."

Tied, yes, the end of The Louis XIV reign was a mess.


"-War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since."

France fought against almost all Europe (Austria, England, United Provinces) and lost territories it has just gained before.


"- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

A significative help to the young United States, a revenge on Great Britain.


"- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French."

The opponent was also French : so Prussians, Austrians, Italians, British, Dutch at Valmy, Jemmapes, Hondschoote, Fleurus, Marengo, etc. were French, interesting on your ignorance level.


"- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer."

Lost, the most terrible reign in France history. But his army was great and never surrendered, even in Waterloo.


"- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night."

Lost, it lasted six mounths (july 1870 to january 1871). Paris and Belfort were besieged during mounths, with huge civilian casualties. They didn't surrender.


"- World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline."

I'm surprised you forget the British whose role was far more important then the United Statians. France lost 1,5 millions men (upon 8 millions soldiers and a total population of 40 millions)


"-World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song."

You forget the Russian and Canadian, and of course the contribution of the free french


"- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu"

United States made better, as everybody knows.


"- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux."

The French army won the Algeria war. Algeria was set independant after a referendum. French people didn't want to keep it anymore (you can make a comparison with the British attitude in Ireland and other colonies)


"- War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's."

The French Intelligence Service is far more efficient on this matter than its United Statians counterpart. At least, in 1993, we avoided an air france airbus crash on Paris, and killed all the terrorists.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?" but rather "How long until France collapses?" "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."


You're just copying lies you don't even understand,

Sincerely,
 
2003-02-27 08:26:41 AM


Saddam Hussein in France visiting a nuclear reactor. At far right: Jacques Chirac.

Nope, those snail-slurping, merde-munching cowards have nothing to hide that an attack on Iraq would uncover.

Riiiight.
 
2003-02-27 08:29:16 AM
I love snails, do you want my burgondy snails recipe ?
 
2003-02-27 10:01:46 AM
Isidore;

I think you've raised some valid points, but just some. On the whole, the French have never been and will continue to never be a respectable nation that can be counted on to abide by strong moral principles.

As evidenced by Chirac's continued verbal diarrhea, there is nothing France will not sacrifice on the altar of anti-American sentiment. That's all Chirac has got! He's playing to the EU and his people like a 4th grader who just realized blowing milk out his nose gets thunderous laughter from his schoolmates.

Give me a break; if you want facts choke on this: France wants *more* inspectors and *more* time for the beleaguered and quite redundant UN process to continue-- it is, after all, the only way that France is able to exert any influence with its own relevancy waning in the new EU where they have suddenly gone from top dog to one of 25.

What will it's resistance accomplish? Squat. Except to prove, rightly or wrongly, that France has neither the balls nor the inherent principled right to participate in any matters concerning the disarming of madmen.

Since 1991 there have been **18** resolutions at the UN calling for Iraq to disarm and be forthright about their WoMD, and, they've bullshiatted the whole way through.

Meantime, Saddam gets to rule with his military dictatorship, living in 43 monstrous palaces in the lap of luxury while his own people starve in the streets.

So, in reality, this is exactly what France has been all about 'lo these many years: self-interest, self-interest, self-interest. They would sooner have a despotic ruler after their own heart continue to menace the world than have him removed.

After all, Iraq is a significant trading partner for the French!
 
2003-02-27 10:13:31 AM
Oh, I forgot this lovely chestnut:



The French were ever so helpful in rounding up all those nasty Jews, weren't they?
 
2003-02-27 10:37:19 AM
I've traveled extensively in France, on several different occasions, and each time I grow to hate French people more. I've never seen a more beautiful country so thouroghly wasted on its citizens.

French women, however, are hot as hell. The best concentrations are in the Northwest of France...around Normandy. My suitemate in college dated an incredible French girl going to our school. They'd fark eight times a day, and she lived in our suite, and I only saw her with clothes on a few times all year. She never went to class, never went out, just laid around naked all day for the rest of us to stare at. Amazing how comfortable with nudity they are over there. He was a lucky man. And we were lucky to live with him.
 
2003-02-27 10:41:47 AM
Isidore: Nice job on the rebuttal.
 
2003-02-27 11:05:23 AM
El_Camino_SS

Nothin. 'Cept complain and call us warmongers when we are about to shut down their unsanctioned, illegal, United Nations resolution-ignoring supply of black liquid crack from their business partner in Iraq. That, my friend, is why their government is up our ass. It really is about the oil. It's the FRENCH OIL.


No, the US is going to war because it can't get the oil any other way. France and Russia have contracts with Iraq to develop the oil fields after the UN sanctions are lifted. These contracts would be invalid if the US goes in and destroys the Iraqi government and sets up a puppet government.

That's the ONLY way the US will be able to develop Iraqi oil. If Saddam is in power, he will not sell oil or allow the US to develop the oil fields. NOW do you get why this is a war for oil?
 
2003-02-27 12:33:30 PM
I was right with this article until they brought up Napolean. As Hubie's points out, ol' shortie wasn't French. We can safely acknowledge Napolean's effectiveness because of that reason. If Hitler would have learned from the mistakes Napolean made in Russia, it'd be a different world right now. How do you say "Sweet F-ing! Christ it's cold" in French (or German)?
 
2003-02-27 02:09:20 PM
Isidore--Actually, I was just trying to be funny...

Touchy Frogophiles. I suppose it's what we can expect from a nation that idolizes Jerry Lewis as comedic gold.

Not lies. A joke. Lighten up.

Come on, I used the Horst-Wessel Song. Work with me here.
 
2003-02-27 03:25:06 PM
Look, no matter what you say, making fun of France with Bush in the white house just looks... stupid.
 
2003-02-27 10:17:46 PM
What's a Harmonia?
 
Displayed 79 of 79 comments



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report