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(Metro)   Zeus takes a very dim view of outdoor sex   (metro.co.uk) divider line 370
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

25482 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2009 at 7:28 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



370 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-07-24 05:26:53 AM  
Officers who arrived a short while later managed to find the naked and shivering pair and help them into dry clothes and took them home.

In the US you'd find yourself getting buggered by bubba after being charged with public nudity, public lewdness, behaviour likely to influence a minor, indecency, one of affray, resisting arrest, tresspass, and shivering without a permit.
 
2009-07-24 05:57:10 AM  
Done in one.
 
2009-07-24 07:30:51 AM  
Dear Penthouse Forum...............
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2009-07-24 07:31:45 AM  
Zeus was jealous. He has a thing for mortal women.
 
2009-07-24 07:32:37 AM  
Big bang, followed by a scream, followed by torrential downpour... This happens to me all the time.
 
2009-07-24 07:35:38 AM  
I was more likely to be struck by lightning than have sex with my wife(now ex).
 
2009-07-24 07:36:36 AM  
Cockblocked by a deity.
 
2009-07-24 07:38:32 AM  
Don't do it in Florida

i219.photobucket.com
 
2009-07-24 07:39:23 AM  
Can't believe I'm the first to say: SHOCKING!
 
2009-07-24 07:40:24 AM  
The terrified pair ran out of the bush naked and fled in a torrential downpour that followed the lightning strike.

They lost their way and were spotted blundering around in the dark by another motorist in a parking space who called police.

Officers who arrived a short while later managed to find the naked and shivering pair and help them into dry clothes and took them home.



And they were on mushrooms too, right? Because dude.
 
2009-07-24 07:41:38 AM  
Stay. In. The. Car.
 
2009-07-24 07:42:54 AM  
A lightning quick sex session in a bush during a storm ended in a flash when a bolt of lightning struck the ground nearby making the earth move for the lovemaking couple.


OK, who is the Farker who wrote this?
 
2009-07-24 07:42:58 AM  
fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!
 
2009-07-24 07:45:38 AM  
Jonathan Coulton unavailable for comment.
 
2009-07-24 07:48:33 AM  
The couple were found Minos their clothes?

/mounting olympus
 
2009-07-24 07:49:57 AM  
LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!


Says you. Get creative. And not get a gigawatt bolt up your ass. And stay dry too.
 
2009-07-24 07:50:40 AM  
Richard Saunders: The couple were found Minos their clothes?

/mounting olympus


Very nice.
 
2009-07-24 07:52:54 AM  
fanbladesaresharp: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!

Says you. Get creative. And not get a gigawatt bolt up your ass. And stay dry too.


Oh, I'm creative baby. I'm very creative.

: )
 
2009-07-24 07:53:04 AM  
www.cropcircleconnector.com
 
2009-07-24 08:02:20 AM  
img406.imageshack.us

Unavailable for comment.

/...what's that?
 
2009-07-24 08:03:38 AM  
That evening, Virginia and I made love so powerful, me thinks I heard the god Zeus chuckling from on high.

/shinshi shinshi FTW!
 
2009-07-24 08:06:59 AM  
They lost their way and were spotted blundering around in the dark by another motorist in a parking space who called police.

They had just went into the bush (well at least the guy was planning to), how the hell do you lose your sense of direction so badly that you cannot find your car? I know it was raining, but I would think that they were more than a few hundred feet away from their car.
 
2009-07-24 08:08:22 AM  
Zues? Wouldn't the Germans have had a better shot at being interrupted by Thor, God of Thunder?
 
2009-07-24 08:09:19 AM  
Forget that story. This one was linked from that page.

Link (new window)
 
2009-07-24 08:12:41 AM  
LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!

Says you. Get creative. And not get a gigawatt bolt up your ass. And stay dry too.

Oh, I'm creative baby. I'm very creative.

: )


How YOU doin'?
 
2009-07-24 08:13:20 AM  
Gavino: Officers who arrived a short while later managed to find the naked and shivering pair and help them into dry clothes and took them home.

In the US you'd find yourself getting buggered by bubba after being charged with public nudity, public lewdness, behaviour likely to influence a minor, indecency, one of affray, resisting arrest, tresspass, and shivering without a permit.


I hate the tired old liberal version of American exceptionalism,

but......err.....you're absolutely right in this case. 100%.
 
2009-07-24 08:14:27 AM  
Gavino: Officers who arrived a short while later managed to find the naked and shivering pair and help them into dry clothes and took them home.

In the US you'd find yourself getting buggered by bubba after being charged with public nudity, public lewdness, behaviour likely to influence a minor, indecency, one of affray, resisting arrest, tresspass, and shivering without a permit.


And a record as a sex offender.
 
2009-07-24 08:18:59 AM  
LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!


Depends on the car!
 
2009-07-24 08:19:02 AM  
I really thought they would have gotten a charge out of it.
 
2009-07-24 08:19:19 AM  
Plumbledum: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!

Says you. Get creative. And not get a gigawatt bolt up your ass. And stay dry too.

Oh, I'm creative baby. I'm very creative.

: )

How YOU doin'?


Very well, thank you.
 
2009-07-24 08:20:34 AM  
ram.1500: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!

Depends on the car!



Most certainly.
 
2009-07-24 08:21:11 AM  
If this had a happened in America, they would have been brought under control using felony arrest protocol (guns drawn) and most likely Tasered.

The would both have been charged as sex offenders and would be living under a freeway overpass since they cannot live anywhere else.
 
2009-07-24 08:21:38 AM  
Nick Nostril: Unavailable for comment.

/...what's that?


Luv that pic from the original Planet of the Apes!

Fark, I would not let lightning ruin my love making... I would tell it that it would have to wait for it's turn. Can't you have sex naked in your own backyard?
 
2009-07-24 08:23:33 AM  
ram.1500: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!

Depends on the car!


Little people can have sex in Mini Coopers.... Tried having sex in one & didn't turn out so well. Much better at farking in a SUV or in a bed. SUVs & beds allow for many different positions.
 
2009-07-24 08:23:58 AM  
littlett's: ram.1500: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!

Depends on the car!


Most certainly.


Hey there.

Sex in a car can be fun - but I really think that outdoors is better.

Have you tried it?

What's your favorite type of car to do it in?
 
2009-07-24 08:26:43 AM  
LittleBlondeJug: Plumbledum: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.
Not nearly as fun!
Says you. Get creative. And not get a gigawatt bolt up your ass. And stay dry too.
Oh, I'm creative baby. I'm very creative.
: )
How YOU doin'?
Very well, thank you.


**Warning** AW Status has been elevated to Orange.
 
2009-07-24 08:26:56 AM  
So, it turns out the gods don't like naked plowing?
 
2009-07-24 08:28:55 AM  
They should have kept going. Don't they know that they were in the LEAST likely place for lightning to strike?

I love me some probability. Maybe that's why I'm playing armchair quarterback.
 
2009-07-24 08:29:05 AM  
LittleBlondeJug: Sex in a car can be fun - but I really think that outdoors is better.

Have you tried it?

What's your favorite type of car to do it in?


It depends a lot more on the moment that it does the location. If you are in the mood enough you can have sex (good sex!) in the front seat of a small truck. The easiest vehicle to have sex in is an SUV that has a folding seat.

Nothing wrong with taking it outside, but sex in a parking lot or a somewhat public place also has the excitement of the prospect of being caught.
 
2009-07-24 08:29:13 AM  
theorellior: LittleBlondeJug: Plumbledum: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.
Not nearly as fun!
Says you. Get creative. And not get a gigawatt bolt up your ass. And stay dry too.
Oh, I'm creative baby. I'm very creative.
: )
How YOU doin'?
Very well, thank you.

**Warning** AW Status has been elevated to Orange.


Is AWing okay in this thread? Don't make me go full AWing... I could but I would lose out at winning an Oscar for going full AWing.
 
2009-07-24 08:29:14 AM  
theorellior: LittleBlondeJug: Plumbledum: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.
Not nearly as fun!
Says you. Get creative. And not get a gigawatt bolt up your ass. And stay dry too.
Oh, I'm creative baby. I'm very creative.
: )
How YOU doin'?
Very well, thank you.

**Warning** AW Status has been elevated to Orange.


Well go ahead and move it to red, baby!
 
2009-07-24 08:30:40 AM  
LittleBlondeJug: theorellior: LittleBlondeJug: Plumbledum: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.
Not nearly as fun!
Says you. Get creative. And not get a gigawatt bolt up your ass. And stay dry too.
Oh, I'm creative baby. I'm very creative.
: )
How YOU doin'?
Very well, thank you.

**Warning** AW Status has been elevated to Orange.

Well go ahead and move it to red, baby!


He's saying that you are an AW. Some farkers hate AWing...
 
2009-07-24 08:30:44 AM  
littlett's: LittleBlondeJug: Sex in a car can be fun - but I really think that outdoors is better....but sex in a parking lot or a somewhat public place also has the excitement of the prospect of being caught.

Absolutely. THAT is the thrill of it.

It's so... naughty.
 
2009-07-24 08:31:29 AM  
geekluv: LittleBlondeJug: theorellior: LittleBlondeJug: Plumbledum: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.
Not nearly as fun!
Says you. Get creative. And not get a gigawatt bolt up your ass. And stay dry too.
Oh, I'm creative baby. I'm very creative.
: )
How YOU doin'?
Very well, thank you.

**Warning** AW Status has been elevated to Orange.

Well go ahead and move it to red, baby!

He's saying that you are an AW. Some farkers hate AWing...


Oh, I know what he's saying, and I am pleading guilty and telling him to go ahead and move it to status red.
 
2009-07-24 08:31:35 AM  
littlett's: LittleBlondeJug: Sex in a car can be fun - but I really think that outdoors is better.

Have you tried it?

What's your favorite type of car to do it in?

It depends a lot more on the moment that it does the location. If you are in the mood enough you can have sex (good sex!) in the front seat of a small truck. The easiest vehicle to have sex in is an SUV that has a folding seat.

Nothing wrong with taking it outside, but sex in a parking lot or a somewhat public place also has the excitement of the prospect of being caught.


Whatever happened to women who just laid in bed, and then were gagged with a bandana when they go on and on about their sexual fantasies?

...Last Tuesday?
 
2009-07-24 08:34:31 AM  
LittleBlondeJug: littlett's: LittleBlondeJug: Sex in a car can be fun - but I really think that outdoors is better....but sex in a parking lot or a somewhat public place also has the excitement of the prospect of being caught.

Absolutely. THAT is the thrill of it.

It's so... naughty.


I've not bee caught yet, but man it is thrilling thinking about it.
 
2009-07-24 08:35:19 AM  
LittleBlondeJug: littlett's: ram.1500: LittleBlondeJug: fanbladesaresharp: Stay. In. The. Car.

Not nearly as fun!

Depends on the car!


Most certainly.

Hey there.

Sex in a car can be fun - but I really think that outdoors is better.

Have you tried it?

What's your favorite type of car to do it in?


My own car, followed by anyone elses'!!
 
2009-07-24 08:37:08 AM  
maqtastic: Whatever happened to women who just laid in bed, and then were gagged with a bandana when they go on and on about their sexual fantasies?

I think that is a different fetish.
 
2009-07-24 08:38:36 AM  
littlett's: maqtastic: Whatever happened to women who just laid in bed, and then were gagged with a bandana when they go on and on about their sexual fantasies?

I think that is a different fetish.


Different, but definitely not bad.
 
2009-07-24 08:39:41 AM  
littlett's: LittleBlondeJug: littlett's: LittleBlondeJug: Sex in a car can be fun - but I really think that outdoors is better....but sex in a parking lot or a somewhat public place also has the excitement of the prospect of being caught.

Absolutely. THAT is the thrill of it.

It's so... naughty.

I've not bee caught yet, but man it is thrilling thinking about it.


If you are out in my backyard farking you will see that deer & raccoons like to watch you unless you like that sort of thing.


littlett's: maqtastic: Whatever happened to women who just laid in bed, and then were gagged with a bandana when they go on and on about their sexual fantasies?

I think that is a different fetish.


That's S&M....
 
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