Sounds like my dream home.

"There could be a zombie attack and nothing would get in."

SOLD

Lionel Mandrake: "It's just like an ordinary four-bedroom bungalow, it's not dark or anything. But it's very secure. There could be a zombie attack and nothing would get in."

My first thought...like every other FARKer

Anyone know her Fark ID she looks cute in that picture.

mamoru: But, how does it hold up against raptors?

precisely my thought.

Another case of a UWOP article. I'd love to see the inside of a place like that. Fix up the machine gun nests and let the zombies come.

Thought the article was going to be about someone selling the Eagle's Nest, though.

If the nests had some retired hardware in them, I'd be interested.

/What with the zombies and all.

all I could think about was that Creepy wax obama thing in the corner of the page (new window)

Lionel Mandrake: "It's just like an ordinary four-bedroom bungalow, it's not dark or anything. But it's very secure. There could be a zombie attack and nothing would get in."

My first thought...like every other FARKer

Exactly. While I can rapidly and successfully zombie-proof my home due to my constant planning should such a need arise, it certainly lacks machine gun nests.

Shrugging Atlas: Lionel Mandrake: "It's just like an ordinary four-bedroom bungalow, it's not dark or anything. But it's very secure. There could be a zombie attack and nothing would get in."

My first thought...like every other FARKer

Exactly. While I can rapidly and successfully zombie-proof my home due to my constant planning should such a need arise, it certainly lacks machine gun nests.

There either needs to be a drop-down iron cage for that sliding glass door or it needs to be bulletproof with at least one firing port.

/Takes his zombie defense seriously

boobs!


/heck yeah that obama sculpture will freak me out for-ev-er (thanks btw)

When I was at my secondary school they still had most of the concrete bomb shelters that were built during the war. They were pretty cool, filled with loads of anti-nazi graffiti. That and lots and lots of spiders.

Problem with this kind of shelter would be heating it (although it'd be nice and cool in the summer), I don't believe most shelters have listed building status anymore so you wouldn't need to worry about that. Cliff erosion could be an issue though.

I'm still shocked that not only are these not standard equipment on modern houses, they aren't required. I really don't know why we even have a housing code.

You can bet your ass the kids are gonna get off his lawn.

[XKCD comic]

I tried to solve #2 once. With the help of two classmates, we complicated the problem to the point where it was unsolvable. 1 is pretty easy though, I didn't bother actually working it out though.

Among the complications: how much it slows them to turn, how tightly they can turn, acceleration of the wounded velociraptor, His turning, the initial angles they run at...

It could probably be solved using differential equations though, If one wanted to put enough time in it. You would probalby use something similar to gravitational and orbital motion, but to compensate for different accelerations you would have to change the gravity constant for each one, you would have to set up a few transforms to be able to put in a top speed...

Hmm. Someone wanna plug that into matlab? I'm too lazy.

Yes. How much?

somebody find the listing. need more pics!

abigsmurf: When I was at my secondary school they still had most of the concrete bomb shelters that were built during the war. They were pretty cool, filled with loads of anti-nazi graffiti. That and lots and lots of spiders.

Problem with this kind of shelter would be heating it (although it'd be nice and cool in the summer), I don't believe most shelters have listed building status anymore so you wouldn't need to worry about that. Cliff erosion could be an issue though.

Well, insulation has come a long, long way since that particular building was constructed and needed to be up to code for habitation, so it's probably pretty economical for heat based upon the need to maintain the interior aesthetic in an unobtrusive way. Heck, I bet it has better insulation that the building you're in right now!fark, I wanna be a contractor...so many ideas...

Lionel Mandrake: "It's just like an ordinary four-bedroom bungalow, it's not dark or anything. But it's very secure. There could be a zombie attack and nothing would get in."

My first thought...like every other FARKer

Yep, they had me at "Zombie Attack".

Of course, barracading yourself in an underground bunker could be a pretty dangerous strategy, unless they can clear out that tunnel for an escape route.

Don't worry. The Germans will try it again. Any buyer will be evicted when needed.

cptjeff: Hmm. Someone wanna plug that into matlab? I'm too lazy.

just a quick guess. either 35 degrees or 325 degrees. but ya won't last long reguardless:-)

This article has one more picture. (new window)

I'm actually quite interested, particularly in the zombie attack part.

The property - aptly named The Bunker - is situated at St Levan in Cornwall and was positioned to give the armed forces a bird's-eye view of Land's End

But why? Does the ghost of Der Fuhrer live there too? That would be extremely useful in cases of zombie attacks, of course, though it might be a bit creepy the rest of the time.

Gyrfalcon: But why? Does the ghost of Der Fuhrer live there too?

Because it is a bunker ?

/he said, recursively

cptjeff: Hmm. Someone wanna plug that into matlab? I'm too lazy.

I'm thinking that at the speeds of the raptors, and the size of the triangle, one of the bottom two raptors would get you before the top even if you ran directly towards it. You wouldn't leave the triangle.

*fapfapfapfap*

Machine Gun Nests?


/approves

Approves.

There will be no kids on this lawn.
Good selling point for retirees.

cfish78: somebody find the listing. need more pics!

Realtor listing (new window)

Excen: Shrugging Atlas: Lionel Mandrake: "It's just like an ordinary four-bedroom bungalow, it's not dark or anything. But it's very secure. There could be a zombie attack and nothing would get in."

My first thought...like every other FARKer

Exactly. While I can rapidly and successfully zombie-proof my home due to my constant planning should such a need arise, it certainly lacks machine gun nests.

There either needs to be a drop-down iron cage for that sliding glass door or it needs to be bulletproof with at least one firing port.

/Takes his zombie defense seriously

Its obvious some boards on the windows just isnt enough. Definitely need machine guns, at the very least a Thompson submachinegun...

opiumpoopy: Realtor listing

Blah, looks like my flat, how disappointing.

What a secret bunker might should look like

Cormee: *fapfapfapfap*

Came for McCloud, left satisfied.

FarkinNortherner: What a secret bunker should look like

Yours isn't properly equipped, if you want to repopulate the world after the nuclear holocaust. Come to mine instead.

opiumpoopy: Yours isn't properly equipped, if you want to repopulate the world after the nuclear holocaust. Come to mine instead.

I like the way you think.

I'd be way more worried about seepage than velociraptors. This IS 1940's era concrete we're talking about.

/boring

ilikeracecars: I'm thinking that at the speeds of the raptors, and the size of the triangle, one of the bottom two raptors would get you before the top even if you ran directly towards it. You wouldn't leave the triangle.

There are three possible answers.

(1) As you say, move a little towards the top raptor, so all three get to you at the same time;

(2) Jump to the side at the last moment, and let the raptors crash into each other. Run away while they're still dazed. There's no way they'll be able to decelerate from 56 mph in that distance.

(3)Hop on your pod-racer and head off between any two of the raptors. Hold on tight: you'll need a bit over 3-g acceleration to get up to speed before they catch you.

/ I can't believe I've been thinking about this.

DjangoStonereaver: you forgot a couple of other
personnel additions

I have no idea who any of those women are.

No Such Agency: I'd be way more worried about seepage than velociraptors. This IS 1940's era concrete we're talking about.

It's on a chalk bluff, the hydrostatic pressure should be minimal.

/me too

opiumpoopy: Yours isn't properly equipped, if you want to repopulate the world after the nuclear holocaust. Come to mine instead.

Never before have I felt compelled to request a newsletter, or pass judgement on the cut of another man's sail.

opiumpoopy: Yours isn't properly equipped, if you want to repopulate the world after the nuclear holocaust. Come to mine instead.

No Asians? I believe your repopulation effort is doomed.

what. the. fark.

DoD blocks "The Telegraph"???

Does it have ports for a chainsaw defense?

fedexrico: mamoru: But, how does it hold up against raptors?

precisely my thought.

Nothing can stop Jesus.. NOTHING!