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(CNN)   Is "Absolutely" the new "Yes"? Absolutely. Is O.J. Simpson responsible? Absolutely. SRSLY? Absolutely   (cnn.com) divider line 118
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11289 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jul 2009 at 3:11 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



118 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-07-20 04:36:43 AM
Guffaw!
 
2009-07-20 04:43:36 AM
My dream for this thread:

Reply 1: Is this thread stupid/pointless/lame/gay?
Reply 2: Absolutely!
Reply 3: Over in 2!

Sadly, no such luck.
 
2009-07-20 04:47:09 AM
unicron702: My dream for this thread:

Reply 1: Is this thread stupid/pointless/lame/gay?
Reply 2: Absolutely!
Reply 3: Over in 2!

Sadly, no such luck.


Oh, the thread's original discussion is dead, we're just humping it's corpse for fun and mirth.

/and let me tell you, the hole between the fourth and fifth ribs is tiiiiiiiight
 
2009-07-20 04:51:27 AM
yarnothuntin: That's a fact Jack!

www.quirkcollective.com

/is it hot like the Aunt Jemima treatment? Absolutely!
 
2009-07-20 04:52:56 AM
Have fun CNN. No one in your legal department, or from Fox news for that matter, ever has a chance at a SCOTUS job. It's just not going to happen.
 
2009-07-20 04:58:32 AM
Excen: haddie: Excen: Epiphany: Excen: calling Tatsuma names

No one gives a shiat if or how you got banned. It's not hard to get banned on fark.

Give us a demonstration then.

Boredom is a biatch, eh?
It amazes me that I have less to do right now than sit here and read (and respond to) tripe like this.

It's 1 in the morning on a Monday. It's not like there's a club thumping at this hour on this day where I live. Plus, it's fun to verbally club hipster-wannabes that look like something dragged out of a cave in Afghanistan.

That mash-up of Rick Astley and Kurt Cobain sums up the entirety of post-millenial culture in one post-ironic musical mélange. It encapsulates both the rebellious nature and restraint on expression inherent to the modern musical landscape and the wider culture. Plus it's a perfect-storm of a hook.

/A link, if you haven't heard it yet. (click-pop)


Border town. Head down to Spokane.
 
2009-07-20 05:00:05 AM
Is it not news, it's CNN? Absolutely!
 
2009-07-20 05:03:32 AM
www.ibelieveinadv.com
 
2009-07-20 05:08:01 AM
All-encompassingly.
 
2009-07-20 05:10:52 AM
fanbladesaresharp: Excen: haddie: Excen: Epiphany: Excen: calling Tatsuma names

No one gives a shiat if or how you got banned. It's not hard to get banned on fark.

Give us a demonstration then.

Boredom is a biatch, eh?
It amazes me that I have less to do right now than sit here and read (and respond to) tripe like this.

It's 1 in the morning on a Monday. It's not like there's a club thumping at this hour on this day where I live. Plus, it's fun to verbally club hipster-wannabes that look like something dragged out of a cave in Afghanistan.

That mash-up of Rick Astley and Kurt Cobain sums up the entirety of post-millenial culture in one post-ironic musical mélange. It encapsulates both the rebellious nature and restraint on expression inherent to the modern musical landscape and the wider culture. Plus it's a perfect-storm of a hook.

/A link, if you haven't heard it yet. (click-pop)

Border town. Head down to Spokane.


Done that many a time, and let me tell you, walking into the wrong joint on the wrong night is kinda scary down there. I had no idea there was so much weirdness downtown.

/More trannies than an AAMCO stockroom. . .
 
2009-07-20 05:15:57 AM
JonnyBGoode: yarnothuntin: That's a fact Jack!



/is it hot like the Aunt Jemima treatment? Absolutely!


hee hee!
 
2009-07-20 05:33:26 AM
Excen:

Border town. Head down to Spokane.

Done that many a time, and let me tell you, walking into the wrong joint on the wrong night is kinda scary down there. I had no idea there was so much weirdness downtown.

/More trannies than an AAMCO stockroom. . .


And drinking age in Idaho used to be 19. Should be no wonder why WSU people walked over the border. Almost literally.
 
2009-07-20 05:41:21 AM
The author is wrong about the initial date.
In the early 70's (previous century, youngsters) I worked with a guy we nicknamed Absol, because his affirmative response was absolutely the same. I heard that the grass was plentiful, and the buffalo abundant, back then. But I wouldn't know. I was a counselor in a Boy Scout summer camp.
 
2009-07-20 05:44:54 AM
fair dinkum
 
2009-07-20 05:50:32 AM
Pic of Patsy and Eddie should go here, (but can't access my image shack piece of crap) with a witty caption.

After reading about the OJ connection to 'Absolutely', watching AbFab will never be the same. Thanks a lot you washed up footballer, wife slicing, hotel room intruder douche bag.
 
2009-07-20 05:59:33 AM
I'd like to know when "no problem" became a substitute for "you're welcome."
 
2009-07-20 06:02:54 AM
Is pi ± 3.14?
 
2009-07-20 06:29:50 AM
Did anyone else find it odd (or even insulting) that they suggest "absolutely" will make you sound smart? What sort of knuckle-draggers are impressed by that word? It is tiers above "affirmative grunt" but hardly a sign of great intellect.

Maybe they meant smart as in "up on the current trends".

/Absolutely
 
2009-07-20 06:33:55 AM
20/20: I'd like to know when "no problem" became a substitute for "you're welcome."

I blame ALF.
 
2009-07-20 06:38:29 AM
Quite.
 
2009-07-20 06:41:03 AM
As much as it isn't news, I want to know where the hell ideas for articles like this come from.

Personal observation, sure, but who the hell has the ambition to think "this would make a GREAT piece of journalism?"

/took feature writing journalism in college. It's not news, it's the Ithacan.
 
2009-07-20 06:54:18 AM
mypetjawa.mu.nu

/Obscure?
 
2009-07-20 07:02:07 AM
denbroc: /Obscure?

Nah, but he's cool now, yo.
 
2009-07-20 07:05:39 AM
www.akwarner.com
 
2009-07-20 07:10:10 AM
fandomlove.com

Says "about time".
 
2009-07-20 07:17:21 AM
I blame Tom Shane.
 
2009-07-20 07:18:06 AM
static.open.salon.com

Definitely does not approve...

/definitely hotlinked
//definitely
 
2009-07-20 07:21:09 AM
Only the Sith deal in absolutes.

Oh, wait, does that make me Sith?
 
2009-07-20 07:26:29 AM
That's hilarious.
 
2009-07-20 07:54:35 AM
Thankfully, I was forced to endure a douchebaggy grad student a few years ago who did this, so I never got the virus.

/he was an absolute douchebag
//absolutely
 
2009-07-20 07:56:29 AM
What has two thumbs and loves to say "absolutely"?
i.l.cnn.net
This chick!
 
2009-07-20 08:04:59 AM
Abso-farkin'-lutely!
img204.imageshack.us
 
2009-07-20 08:13:30 AM
At the end of the day, it is what it is.
 
2009-07-20 08:14:33 AM
ceremony_1968: These guys would like to have a word with you, smithee:

blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com
Keeerist. Are those old fruits all that's left of this?
www.discoverclassicrock.com
 
2009-07-20 08:15:03 AM
media.philly.com

Without question, absolutely approves.
 
2009-07-20 08:15:25 AM
Absolutely is such an amaaaayzing word. Ameeezing! You're all ameeezeeen. Absolutuely.
 
2009-07-20 08:19:35 AM
img22.imageshack.us
 
2009-07-20 08:36:28 AM
Excen: CapStormfield: Excen: Excen: Give us a demonstration then.

Really. I didn't know that name-calling could get you banned on Fark. I'd like to know how you did it.

I called him a rebellion-inciting word-that-rhymes-with-bike in his masturbacongratulatory thread. I meant it in a purely-respectful-while-completely-irreverent tone though, not as actual hate speech. I guess subtlety is lost on mods with as heavy of a workload as they had at that time.

/5 posts a second, calling Tatsuma an Attractive and Successful Banker-American, MOD SMASH!


Classy.
 
2009-07-20 08:52:45 AM
Is "myself" the new "me"?

Please make it stop!
 
2009-07-20 08:59:51 AM
This just in: certain words develop in popularity and almost take on a slang quality over time. I remember reading a similar article many years ago on the proliferation of the phrase "you know."

There are plenty of words and phrases used incorrectly or as slang that are far more annoying. For example: literally.

Listen to how many times every day people use that word and compare it to how many times people use it correctly. ("So I got a flat tire and I literally had to walk, like, 50 miles to get spare.")

Why this particular word bothers me I have no idea.
 
2009-07-20 09:00:10 AM
Gothnet: Only the Sith deal in absolutes.

Oh, wait, does that make me Sith?


I hated that part even more than I hated the rest of that movie.
One of the few times that I've actually spoken out loud to a screen. Made me very stabby. I'd buried it in that deep, deep chasm in my head where the time I watched the new Indiana Jones movie is. Thanks for bringing it back, jerky.
 
2009-07-20 09:01:31 AM
WinoRhino: This just in: certain words develop in popularity and almost take on a slang quality over time. I remember reading a similar article many years ago on the proliferation of the phrase "you know."

There are plenty of words and phrases used incorrectly or as slang that are far more annoying. For example: literally.

Listen to how many times every day people use that word and compare it to how many times people use it correctly. ("So I got a flat tire and I literally had to walk, like, 50 miles to get spare.")

Why this particular word bothers me I have no idea.


Because it's being used wrong, is my guess. But that's only a guess. Don't literally kill me if I'm wrong.

/literally
 
2009-07-20 09:22:01 AM
ab⋅so⋅lute⋅ly
/ˌæbsəˈlutli, ˈæbsəˌlut-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ab-suh-loot-lee, ab-suh-loot-] Show IPA
Use absolutely in a Sentence
-adverb
1. without exception; completely; wholly; entirely: You are absolutely right.
2. positively; certainly.
3. (of a transitive verb) without an object.
-interjection
4. (used emphatically to express complete agreement or unqualified assent): Do you think it will work? Absolutely!
Origin:
1525-35; absolute + -ly

Synonyms:
1. totally, unqualifiedly. 2. unquestionably, unequivocally, definitely.


Words denoting more certainty than is ordinarily necessary should be used sparingly. I refuse to use absolutely, when a simple yes is all that is required.

ex:
"Would you like more coffee?"
"Absolutely!!!11!"
Yes.
 
2009-07-20 09:39:18 AM
Today's TeeFury t-shirt:
www.teefury.com
 
2009-07-20 09:44:23 AM
 
2009-07-20 09:54:37 AM
In public, I use "absosmurfly" when I want to irritate my wife.
 
2009-07-20 09:59:11 AM
I recently noticed this, too, on an episode of "The Little Couple". That chick CONSTANTLY poses questions and then says "ABSOLUTELY!" Like, for instance, she will say "Does my husband have a hard time getting around the house with his fake hips? Absolutely! Does he feel guilty because he stays home all day watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 and Maury Povich while I bust my hump as a doctor? Absolutely! Does my hair style look like Kate Gosselin's backwards mullet? Absolutely!"

Listen to this little lady next time you watch the show - she uses "ABSOLUTELY" like it is absolutely going out of freaking style.
 
2009-07-20 10:10:16 AM
nandaiyo:
"Yes sir!"
"Destination?"
"Identify target!"
"Orders sir!"
"Move it!"
"Proceeding."
"Delighted to sir!"
"Absolutely!"

I hear this is the new thing.

/Ready to roll out?
 
2009-07-20 10:15:05 AM
Totally. Exactly.
 
2009-07-20 10:36:52 AM
all-encompassingly
 
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