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(Boulder News)   Unwrapped condom floats into man's mouth while swimming   (bouldernews.com ) divider line
    More: Strange  
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16185 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2003 at 8:29 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



126 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2003-02-25 12:45:29 PM  
Sorry, but "unwrapped" isn't quite Farkworthy.
 
2003-02-25 01:38:57 PM  
Condoms can swim?

Subject of sentence surrenders.
 
2003-02-25 01:43:54 PM  
It amazes me what gets posted o n the main page and what doesn't.
 
2003-02-25 01:57:12 PM  
Nice excuse buddy, just like the time you accidentally sat on the coke bottle while naked, and it got stuck. Right.
 
2003-02-25 01:59:04 PM  
And you also expect us to believe the gerbil just crawled in there by itself.
 
2003-02-25 02:23:13 PM  
"Million to one odds, doc. I was vacuuming naked..."
 
2003-02-25 02:31:48 PM  
Who swims with their mouth open, especially in a public pool? Ewww.
 
2003-02-25 02:32:48 PM  
You just know it's not your day when you go for a swim and a rubber floats into your mouth.

All I know is that I'd get to the nearest store and buy the biggest bottle of mouth wash they had. Maybe two. Ew.
 
2003-02-25 02:58:30 PM  
Good thing it wasn't a Nike. Talk about putting your foot in your mouth...
 
2003-02-25 03:24:34 PM  
Lucky guy. Some pools won't let them give out free condoms.
 
2003-02-25 03:26:31 PM  
Was it blue? Cause I think those are defective.
 
2003-02-25 04:17:27 PM  
And the moral of the story is: swim in public pools with your mouth closed or get a sac-o-manchowder.
 
2003-02-25 05:05:19 PM  
Oh, EWWWW.
But seriously, folks -- this article is full o' dumb. I really can't imagine a situation where a condom could "float into my mouth" in a pool. Also, what's up with the couple shagging in an innertube? Did this pool have like 2000 people in it, so the lifeguards weren't able to see them? And how suspicious is this line: "we weren't having sex, and we don't use condoms anyway"?

A girl and I made in in the water at Daytona Beach once. Can you say "chafing"?
 
2003-02-25 05:07:41 PM  
It. Made it.
 
2003-02-25 05:20:39 PM  
Ohhh. made "it"...I thought "making in in" was the new catch phrase. I'd have hit it.
 
2003-02-25 05:36:42 PM  
True, Zenmaster, water is not a lubricant, and when it comes to the human body, has a parching effect. A late night swim with my hubby in our pool is fabulous, but sex? Ouch.

And again, to reiterate my first point: no one opens their mouth while swimming unless they are coming up for air.
 
2003-02-25 06:47:55 PM  
You know, I thought that bubble gum was kinda chewy.
 
2003-02-25 08:31:56 PM  
EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
 
2003-02-25 08:32:52 PM  
Dahhhhh HAHA
 
2003-02-25 08:33:15 PM  
Oh, who hasn't had this happen to them.
geez...move along...nothing to see here...
 
2003-02-25 08:33:56 PM  
I hate it when that happens.
 
2003-02-25 08:34:25 PM  
Yeah, I once had a boyfriend who said, "she kept fondling it until I had to have sex with her" as an excuse for cheating on me, when I found a used condom under his bed.
 
2003-02-25 08:34:33 PM  
Dr.Fey:

As an English major, I would like to personally thank you for pointing that out.
 
2003-02-25 08:34:50 PM  
and somewhere, an unwrapped member fired a pressure shot into his output tube...
 
2003-02-25 08:35:15 PM  
'Hey! You two! Quit that! This ain't the Bob L. Burger Procreation Center!'
 
2003-02-25 08:35:25 PM  
i bet he put it in his pocket and said nothing happened.
 
2003-02-25 08:36:31 PM  
OK...Steel up the gag reflex.

When I was a kid a bunch of us were playing around in an area used as a lover's lane by the locals. Somebody noticed that Robert's three year old brother was chewing something.

"Terry...where'd you get that gum?"

"I found it..."

It wasn't gum....you know what it was.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
 
2003-02-25 08:36:31 PM  
When I was younger, my friend's Canadian friend was visiting and made a comment about a "safe floating in the water" and we're like "Huh??" And he explained that a safe was a condom, and we were like "Beep beep beep".

It was a really good condom.

/losing the will to live
 
2003-02-25 08:37:09 PM  
HAHAHAHA
It's funny because it didn't happen to me.
Again, HAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2003-02-25 08:38:26 PM  
eeeeewwwwww
 
2003-02-25 08:39:15 PM  
if you produce enough natural lubracation, having sex in water is great. but thats really gross that someone would do it in a public pool, thats worse then swimming with your mouth open b/c you are pushing the germs up your... well never mind
 
2003-02-25 08:39:39 PM  
Uh-Huh.

And all the drugs in it magically cooked themselves out of stuff he had eaten throughout the day before the condom swam into his mouth.

In other news, I got something from the toilet seat.
 
2003-02-25 08:40:30 PM  
ewwwwhwhwhwwhhhhahahahahahahahahah
 
2003-02-25 08:41:05 PM  
Thats why I don't swim anymore at the Playboy mansion grotto.
 
2003-02-25 08:42:21 PM  
I could have gone the rest of my life without hearing that.
 
2003-02-25 08:43:17 PM  
Hudson River Whitefish!
Escaped exotic in the wild.
 
2003-02-25 08:43:52 PM  
Is this gay porn?
 
2003-02-25 08:44:21 PM  
Well, just maybe we are missing the big picture here. Maybe the reason that the guy is denying that any sex happened is that the condom just floated right off of the active member during the act of engagement. Just not enough missle for the silo...
 
2003-02-25 08:45:13 PM  
EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Is it me or does that constitute a blowjob by proxy?

And another thing: who in the world would announce such a thing? I would lie, cry and deny.

EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
 
2003-02-25 08:45:32 PM  
bubblegum
 
2003-02-25 08:45:37 PM  
Ugh! No more pools! Ever!
 
2003-02-25 08:45:39 PM  
[image from wackypacks.net too old to be available]
 
2003-02-25 08:46:02 PM  
And after swimming with his mouth open, he got back onto the short schoolbus and went home to his cage.
 
2003-02-25 08:49:04 PM  
So that makes that guy gay now....right?
 
2003-02-25 08:49:13 PM  
Spelling correction-missile

And just how big is this guy's mouth anyway...
 
2003-02-25 08:50:37 PM  
When I was swimming in the Gulf near Panama City, a used condom floated by and hit my arm. EWWW! EWWW! EWWWW! Granted it was salt water, but god damn did that freak me out.
 
2003-02-25 08:51:05 PM  
And Fark wouldn't take my story link about a man who accidentally got penetrated by 5 penises at once at a gay bar. His clothes just somehow fell off and other mens' weiners strangely ended up in his various openings and orifices somehow. Now THAT is newsworthy.
 
2003-02-25 08:52:19 PM  
LMAO Doodievomit

That is funny on many levels.
 
2003-02-25 08:52:22 PM  
Sure beats an O'Henry bar floating around in the pool
 
2003-02-25 08:52:47 PM  
Hmm...I've had sex in a pool on several occasions, and I never experienced any "chafing"...I think if you need lubricant perhaps, but if the girl is lubricated enough, it's not really a problem.
 
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