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(Reuters)   If you think swallowing condoms full of drugs sounds uncomfortable, try condoms full of gems   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 48
    More: Dumbass  
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10413 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2003 at 11:24 AM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2003-02-25 10:33:33 AM  
well, duh. Jem's the Passport to Rock!
[image from rightstuf.com too old to be available]
 
2003-02-25 10:38:09 AM  
I knew a girl once who tried to swallow my family jewels... in a lovingly, tender way.... God I miss her...

[/slips off in a daze...]

Uh, may I inquire as to why jewels would be in a condom? They won't break down and be digested, they'll just make for some fashionable mudd sharks.

Sure you'd have to go through a lot of shi+ to get your money, but isn't that a pretty good definition of work?
 
2003-02-25 10:38:25 AM  
But on the upside, if the condoms break, you won't have an instant overdose.

Ouch, roughage.
 
2003-02-25 10:44:28 AM  
I would lose the condom and trick my to make them think I can shi+ diamonds.
 
2003-02-25 11:27:54 AM  
Look I pooped out a gem.

[image from images.google.com too old to be available]
ouch.
 
2003-02-25 11:29:57 AM  
Or germs . . .
 
2003-02-25 11:30:13 AM  
Brings new meaning to passing a stone!
 
2003-02-25 11:32:04 AM  
No, no. Use the method in Song of Kali by Dan Simmons. Take one live baby. Slit open chest. Store gems in chest cavity of freshly dead baby. Delightful.
 
2003-02-25 11:32:58 AM  
What about condoms full of dick?

Swallowing those is even worse.........

so I've heard.
 
2003-02-25 11:33:21 AM  
I think all the "good" puns have already been taken care of by the above featured posters...

Off I go into the night!! er, mid-day!!
 
2003-02-25 11:33:24 AM  
No wonder people call me a diamond in the colon.
 
2003-02-25 11:33:50 AM  
02-25-03 11:30:13 AM Big_Bad_Dad
Brings new meaning to passing a stone!


whats the original meaning to passing a stone?!?!
 
2003-02-25 11:34:50 AM  
A dog shiatting diamond tooth saw blades?
 
2003-02-25 11:35:25 AM  
Cormee - Kidney stones...


ouch...
 
2003-02-25 11:37:12 AM  
Cormee- pizzin out a kidney stone. For a male this is probably as close to giving birth as we can get.
 
2003-02-25 11:37:47 AM  
Thats nothing, try drugs full of condoms, that really messes with the gourd
 
2003-02-25 11:38:01 AM  
Bump

If this is a definition of work, I think I may have to re-rank my list of worst jobs.

3)Crack whore
2)Assistant crack whore
1)Condom-and-gem-swallowing smuggler
 
2003-02-25 11:38:33 AM  
There's a joke about a pearl necklace in there somewhere. I'm just too durn lazy to figger it out.
 
2003-02-25 11:39:05 AM  
"Is it safe?"
[image from sefersafari.com too old to be available]
 
EMP
2003-02-25 11:41:21 AM  
I could have sworn that said Germs.
 
2003-02-25 11:41:30 AM  
Guy: Will you marry me?
Lady: Oh, is that a gem-filled condom? YES!
Guy: Har har har. Those ain't gems.
*Lady slaps Guy*
Guy: Ha ha ha.

Interpret this however you want.
 
2003-02-25 11:42:35 AM  
[image from djdragnfly.com too old to be available]

"I'd swallow a condom full of anything!"
 
2003-02-25 11:42:39 AM  
Typokign, Big_Bad_Dad - Ow!
 
2003-02-25 11:42:56 AM  
[image from us.i1.yimg.com too old to be available]

Why is this guy on fire?
 
2003-02-25 11:43:44 AM  
Interestingly, this is also the first reported usage of condoms by Thai men for any purpose.
 
2003-02-25 11:47:59 AM  
If you swallow a condom full of contraband, drugs or gems, it doesn't matter, how do you get the stuff out? Do you wait for nature to take its course or do you try bringing it out the way it went in?
 
2003-02-25 11:49:24 AM  
Pussies. If Richard Gere can handle a full grown gerbil, surely a little latex bag dull of rocks is doable.
 
HPZ [TotalFark]
2003-02-25 11:51:05 AM  
I know a guy who swallowed a geode full of condoms once. Now that's crazy.
 
2003-02-25 11:51:35 AM  
Why not using oversized shoes or something. Geez how lame. Can't you guys get off the swallowing condom kick. It's not like stones set off a metal detector.
 
2003-02-25 11:52:22 AM  
Makes me wonder about those guys who smuggle animals, like exotice parrots and stuff..do they pack 'em this way too?
 
2003-02-25 11:53:44 AM  
That's got to be a pain in the ass...

/lame pun
 
2003-02-25 11:55:13 AM  
Why go through all that for a little bling-bling?
 
2003-02-25 11:55:28 AM  
I met a girl that thought she shiat diamonds.
 
2003-02-25 11:55:41 AM  
i hope the condom wasnt used
 
2003-02-25 11:58:34 AM  
swallowing them doesn't sound too bad.. passing them, on the other hand.... ouch.
 
2003-02-25 12:01:31 PM  
I could see this becoming a fad with gangsta rappers..

"Yo! you gots ice in ya scat?"
"I drops more bling in my toilet than you gots on yo fingers"
 
2003-02-25 12:32:05 PM  
WHAT? It's illegal to eat condoms??? I guess I'll have to stop searching for condoms along country roads and drive-ins.
 
2003-02-25 12:34:48 PM  
Why would you even bother it's not like gems are detected by a metal detector nor do they have any odor.

/curious
 
2003-02-25 12:52:58 PM  
Truly, truly, truly outrageous...
 
2003-02-25 01:27:09 PM  
why wouldn't the smugglers just stick them up their asses? that's a hell of a lot easier. still painful. but you don't have to DIGEST the freaking rocks.
 
2003-02-25 01:28:11 PM  
They probably were already suspected gem smugglers, which is why sneaking them through in a more conventional way wouldn't work.
 
2003-02-25 02:01:03 PM  
"Investigations are not yet over," he said. "We have to ensure there are no more stones."

Wow, and just how would you go about doing that? Ouch
 
2003-02-25 02:47:05 PM  
"Investigations are not yet over," he said. "We have to ensure there are no more stones." The investigators continued, "This will call for more thorough anal cavity searches by various members of our team. I assure the public that our members are fully trained and prepared to perform this task. Every member in our team will be protected as they continue their probe in this investigation and will not stop until this criminal smugling ring is fully penetrated."

Meow.
 
2003-02-25 02:51:22 PM  
It'll probably rip his ass on the way out
/ouch
 
2003-02-25 03:01:22 PM  
I can't "pass" this one. This thread is a diamond in the roughage. It rocks!
 
2003-02-25 03:06:51 PM  
Reminds me of the Paul Simon song "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Poos".


Is that you God? It's me, Lame.
 
2003-02-25 04:12:41 PM  
Hemmorhubies!
 
2003-02-25 04:53:23 PM  
Acting on a tip-off, the customs department at the airport, escorted the two men to a hospital for an X-ray and found 10 condoms full of goodies.

condoms full of goodies. *snorts*
 
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