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(News.com.au) Amusing In court for driving at twice the speed limit in order to get your crotchfruit to school in time for free breakfast? Posing like this on your way out of court won't help your case (with pic)   (themercury.com.au) divider line 155
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53593 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jul 2009 at 5:03 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2009-07-15 12:06:43 AM
Lawyer says...

englishrussia.com
 
2009-07-15 12:30:15 AM
That was exactly what I was hoping for. Thank you, Internet.
 
2009-07-15 12:53:26 AM
I would imagine the judges and staff feel just the same way about her, I know I do.
 
2009-07-15 02:25:40 AM
Wait...she has a kid? Who the hell was desperate enough to knock her up?
 
2009-07-15 02:52:41 AM
Wait.. that's a woman?
 
2009-07-15 03:25:52 AM
I'd hit it.
 
2009-07-15 03:50:26 AM
If you can't for whatever reason, even pour your kids a bowl of Cheerios in the morning, then you have no business having kids in the first place.

It is not your divine right to reproduce, children are not sex trophies so that the rest of the world will notice how desireable you are, and nobody is gonna give a rat's ass if the XXXXXX family name is not perpetuated.

While I'm at it. Stop naming your children Jesus, just on spec.
Ain't gonna happen.
 
2009-07-15 03:59:55 AM
JerseyTim: I'd hit it.

Of course you would. She has less facial, back and chest hair than any female in NJ.
 
2009-07-15 04:27:55 AM
JerseyTim: I'd hit it.

With half a brick in a sock.
 
2009-07-15 05:01:26 AM
TommyymmoT: If you can't for whatever reason, even pour your kids a bowl of Cheerios in the morning, then you have no business having kids in the first place.

Now now, everyone has the right to have children. It's in the Bible. Just watch the opening to Idiocracy and you'll see why everyone should have kids.
 
2009-07-15 05:04:39 AM
That's a MAN, baby.
 
2009-07-15 05:07:03 AM
She's preeeeeeety.
 
2009-07-15 05:17:22 AM
"Hey kids, look! Mommy got her picture in the paper!"
 
2009-07-15 05:20:13 AM
Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in court for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain ...and an athlete ...and a basket case... a princess ...and a criminal...
 
2009-07-15 05:21:46 AM
TommyymmoT:so that the rest of the world will notice how desireable you are

Um, maybe you should take a look at the pic in the article first.
 
2009-07-15 05:25:22 AM
She sure is a true ChampionTM
 
2009-07-15 05:25:36 AM
PacManDreaming: JerseyTim: I'd hit it.

Of course you would. She has less facial, back and chest hair than any female in NJ.


Put a bag over her head and go to town!

Seriously, what a fantastic representative of the human species.
 
2009-07-15 05:30:16 AM
i26.tinypic.com
Who will give these scofflaws the justice they deserve?
/kudos to Paul for overcoming his cannabis addiction
 
2009-07-15 05:32:24 AM
What, no photoshops?
 
2009-07-15 05:33:21 AM
Sorry, everybody, but I've decided to ban the word "crotchfruit" in Fark headlines from now on.

It's just an idiotic term and should never have been part of any greenlight in the first place, so I guess it's my fault for not forbidding it before now. Better late than never.
 
2009-07-15 05:34:58 AM
www.themercury.com.auTimothy James Tritton, 20, of Kingston
1 x operating a vehicle in an exhibition of speed, acceleration or loss of traction :A:. Told police he was showing off to friends.
No loss of control, no alcohol in system.
Car seized by police for seven days under anti-hooning laws :B: $250 fine.

Gotta love the Aussies!

:a: = doughnuts
:b: = twattery
 
2009-07-15 05:36:40 AM
www.themercury.com.au
www.themercury.com.au
www.themercury.com.au
www.themercury.com.au
www.themercury.com.au
Tasmanias finest.
www.themercury.com.au
get on the pshop kids.
 
2009-07-15 05:40:56 AM
I'm depressed about humanity.
 
2009-07-15 05:46:44 AM
farking Bogans.
 
2009-07-15 05:55:52 AM
That dude deserves a cock punch.
 
JJR
2009-07-15 05:58:29 AM
crotchfruit. nice
 
2009-07-15 05:59:17 AM
ahh, Tasmania - our deep inbred joke pool. Photos like this mean you Tassie types have yourselves to blame, you know.

/ loves looking at the bogans.
// would hate living next to them...
 
2009-07-15 05:59:17 AM
Australia the myth (exhibit Elle Macphereson circa 198whatever)
Australia the reality (exhibit antipodal chavette)
 
2009-07-15 06:01:00 AM
TommyymmoT: It is not your divine right to reproduce, children are not sex trophies so that the rest of the world will notice how desireable you are

This is Tasmania. She probably raped her father. Possible it was the other way around, but you never know down there...
 
2009-07-15 06:01:25 AM
wejash: Lawyer says...

Oh you'd better believe that pic is going in my arsenal. Is that new, or have I been under a rock?
 
2009-07-15 06:03:37 AM
Pert: Timothy James Tritton, 20, of Kingston
1 x operating a vehicle in an exhibition of speed, acceleration or loss of traction :A:. Told police he was showing off to friends.
No loss of control, no alcohol in system.
Car seized by police for seven days under anti-hooning laws :B: $250 fine.

Gotta love the Aussies!

:a: = doughnuts
:b: = twattery


Actually 'a' is more usually burnouts.

If it's anything like NZ, 200 of these oiks gather in some suburban street, pour oil on the road, and put their foot on the accelerator while keeping the brakes on, causing massive amounts of acrid smoke and making horrible screeching noises for hours and hours on end.

They're not bright enough to know how to do an actual circle.

Put up with that three nights a week for months on end and see how you like it.

/No that car doesn't make your penis look bigger, little boy
 
2009-07-15 06:04:32 AM
Bomb Head Mohammed: Australia the myth (exhibit Elle Macphereson circa 198whatever)
Australia the reality (exhibit antipodal chavette)


I dated an Australian. To hear her speak of it, it's the land of milk and honey. But unless the internet has been lying to me all of this time, that is one farked up continent.
 
2009-07-15 06:06:55 AM
ok, the second guy was riding a bicycle. that's a lame way to be a criminal mastermind. you guys must have it good if you have the money to arrest people for riding a bicycle with a .09 BAC. or i guess that's why they arrested him. didn't pay his bribe i mean registration fee.
 
2009-07-15 06:08:45 AM
if_i_really_have_to:

/No that car doesn't make your penis look bigger, little boy

My car has a magnifying glass attached to the seat
 
2009-07-15 06:15:10 AM
Stay Cool Babylon: Bomb Head Mohammed: Australia the myth (exhibit Elle Macphereson circa 198whatever)
Australia the reality (exhibit antipodal chavette)

I dated an Australian. To hear her speak of it, it's the land of milk and honey. But unless the internet has been lying to me all of this time, that is one farked up continent.


static.guim.co.uk
She steal your wallet?
 
2009-07-15 06:20:01 AM
You can either be a good example or a terrible warning.

Guess we know which way she decided to go on this one.
 
2009-07-15 06:21:10 AM
baka-san: JerseyTim: I'd hit it.

With half a brick in a sock.


With a frickin' axe.
 
2009-07-15 06:26:43 AM
I'm just thrilled to learn a new word: "Hooning"

/Who says you never learn anything new on the internet?!
 
2009-07-15 06:27:07 AM
Hell, they see well over 100 "offenders" each day in the crooked little town of Kennesaw, Georgia.

She does sound like a stupid biatch tho'.
 
2009-07-15 06:30:21 AM
In fact, I think they got a job for that fine human right here in Kinnesaw, Georgia. I can see her booking me right now.
 
2009-07-15 06:41:02 AM
Begoggle: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in court for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain ...and an athlete ...and a basket case... a princess ...and a criminal...

You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
 
2009-07-15 06:41:42 AM
PacManDreaming: Wait...she has a kid? Who the hell was desperate enough to knock her up?

Not one... THREE crotchfruit, which will grow up to be equally valuable citizens.

Nice to know that the US isn't the only country with such white trash.

/Though I'm sure we corner the market
 
2009-07-15 06:44:08 AM
Meh. A dipshiat gave the finger to a photographer. Still the best country in the world.
 
2009-07-15 06:48:56 AM
Now I know what Australia did with all the descendants of its prison-colony past. They're down in Australia's scrotum.
 
2009-07-15 06:50:39 AM
colatf: Meh. A dipshiat gave the finger to a photographer. Still the best country in the world.

Clearly, you've never been to Ghana.
 
2009-07-15 06:56:52 AM
Malachilenomade:

Nice to know that the US isn't the only country with such white trash.

/Though I'm sure we corner the market


you don't travel much, do you?

s3.amazonaws.com
 
2009-07-15 06:57:20 AM
JJR: crotchfruit. nice

Indeed. And I just read a post in another thread that used the clever neologism ORLY! What a hoot. You guys are true wordsmiths.
 
2009-07-15 07:03:29 AM
if_i_really_have_to: :a: = doughnuts
:b: = twattery

Actually 'a' is more usually burnouts.


Tasmania actually has "Anti-Hooning" laws, they were brought in a couple of years ago. Covers everything from dragging cars off at the traffic lights, burnouts, donuts, sliding around corners, all that.

It might sound a little petty for legislation, but it's discretionary and basically gives police the power to arrest you and confiscate your car for being a serial asshat.
 
2009-07-15 07:04:21 AM
Right Click, Save Image As...
 
2009-07-15 07:05:16 AM
manhands
 
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