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(Fox News)   Man who smoked cigars, drank beer and ate greasy food dies at 113   ( divider line
    More: Hero  
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12451 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2003 at 8:40 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

92 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-25 08:42:30 AM  
way to go duude!
2003-02-25 08:43:38 AM  
Lucky old farker
2003-02-25 08:44:35 AM  
Tragic. He could have lived to 116 if only he'd taken better care of himself.
2003-02-25 08:44:57 AM  
Only reason he lived that long was because he wasn't married to Anna Nicole.
2003-02-25 08:46:37 AM  
All those health food nuts have got to feel pretty stupid right now.....
2003-02-25 08:47:30 AM  
Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
2003-02-25 08:48:18 AM  
Hero? More like a lucky sumbiatch who dodged a bullet. I wouldn't rely on getting away with it too, if I were you.
2003-02-25 08:48:29 AM  
This man is my new role model!!
2003-02-25 08:49:26 AM  
Why does God take them so young?
2003-02-25 08:50:58 AM  
Take THAT, health food nuts and vegetarians...

/goes to have another pancake with sausage.
2003-02-25 08:51:28 AM  
SO when will TSG get a copy of his drivers license? I have a feeling it's still good for another 3 years...
-being from Florida and all.
2003-02-25 08:51:37 AM  
It was the secondhand smoke that finally did him in.
2003-02-25 08:57:53 AM  
(in old man voice)
"Every day I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes, I drink a bottle of Jack Daniels, and I hit myself in the head with a shovel every goddamn day."

/Norm MacDonald
2003-02-25 08:59:27 AM  
I wonder how long the avergage vegetarian lives?
2003-02-25 09:01:03 AM  
If none of your grandparents made it to 100, I'd keep an eye on that cholesterol intake!

And don't eat one of these: Evil Hungy Man Breakfast
2003-02-25 09:01:09 AM  
Here come the self righteous twats to tell you how it's still not a good idea for you to try it at home. Gits.
2003-02-25 09:01:49 AM  
Darwin surrenders.
2003-02-25 09:01:57 AM  
He can thank his genetic code, for the most part. If you got it, you got it. If you don't, you die early.

Save the health food vs. junk food arguments for another day.
2003-02-25 09:01:59 AM  
Even with the bell curve you get a few on the extreme edges that seem to prove it all wrong. I'm the type of guy who'd like to see someone use this to justify eating and smoking themselves to a heart attack.
2003-02-25 09:02:04 AM  
Er, Hungry.
2003-02-25 09:02:50 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
I'm not old.
2003-02-25 09:03:09 AM  
Best use of the HERO tag, ever!
2003-02-25 09:03:37 AM  
My grandpop lived to be 98 and had the same lifestyle. Cooked everything in lard, smoke and drank till the day he died.
2003-02-25 09:03:39 AM  
My granparents on my father's side are in their 90's. They drink whiskey on the rocks all day, every day, and they literally smoke 3 packs a day each. They look like little strips of beef jerky, but they're still insanely healthy for the way they live. I hope I get their luck.
2003-02-25 09:04:04 AM  
Here come the self righteous paranoids telling you how someone's gonna tell you about not trying this at home.
2003-02-25 09:04:06 AM  
God Bless him.

My grandfather just passed recently. That man drank Gin Martini's until the day he died. Maybe I should start drinking the booze too.
2003-02-25 09:09:55 AM  
I'm forwarding this to my wife! Finally, an excuse to take up smoking...
2003-02-25 09:10:44 AM  
2003-02-25 09:14:00 AM  
I'll not start a rant on healthy living vs. pure hedonism. But, seriously, don't you think a neurotic, panic/fear driven mentality does more damage than most physical factors (cholesterol, weight, etc. - within reason)?
I mean, wouldn't it be better to be 10 lbs overwieght than be frantically jogging EVERYDAY (even in the freezing rain - you've seen these people) and picking through every friggin calorie?
The stress incurred and the low self esteem is a mental or emotional cancer in itself. Gimmy a burger a beer and a smile anyday.
2003-02-25 09:16:47 AM  
That taught him.
2003-02-25 09:23:47 AM  
not to beat the "things older than Strom Thurman" horse again, but...

good lord! Illinois was inducted into statehood a year before this guy was born.
2003-02-25 09:26:44 AM  
Ignore the diet, habits, and genetics, I want to know how many kittens he killed daily. I think the answer can be found there.
2003-02-25 09:29:56 AM  
My take on this is if you cook your own food you are going to live longer than someone who relies on McD's and Swanson Hungry Man breakfasts. Plus all my grandparents made it well into their 80's before kicking it for other reasons. Two of them are still kicking, one of which still smokes and boozes it up.
2003-02-25 09:31:57 AM  
My grandfather's secret to old age was to put a little gunpowder in his oatmeal each morning. Sure enough, it works: when he died at the ripe old age of 93, he left two children, six grandchildren, and an eight-foot hole in the side of the crematorium.
2003-02-25 09:32:05 AM  
Who wants to live until 113??

I'm not even 40 and I'm already loosing
hair off my nut sack.

mmmm...another gin and tonic, please.
2003-02-25 09:36:28 AM  
I can only hope that the French paradox is true. Otherwise, I'm gonna explode, sending duck fat, red wine, Shakespeare Stout and tobacco all over the room.
2003-02-25 09:39:36 AM  
When it's my time to go, I want to die like my Grandfather, sleeping peacfully. Not screaming and wetting myself like the other passengers in the car.
2003-02-25 09:44:29 AM  
Two words: George Burns.

I was just now looking through my quote collection for the Bill Cosby comment about how people in health food stores look pale and sickly, while people in steakhouses look robust, ruddy, and happy. "Of course, they're dying...but they look great!" Can't find it, for some odd reason, and too lazy to Google...
2003-02-25 09:44:48 AM  

Have you ever passed hot coffee through your nose? I don't recommend it. Your post just helped me experience it. Thanks, I think :)
2003-02-25 09:47:46 AM  
I'm all for compulsory euthanasia at 60. Be honest. Can you name a single person over 60 who's made a significant contribution to society?
2003-02-25 09:55:55 AM  
More and more I am convinced that it is STRESS that causes early death more than anything.
2003-02-25 09:58:08 AM  
02-25-03 09:47:46 AM Purple_Jack
I'm all for compulsory euthanasia at 60. Be honest. Can you name a single person over 60 who's made a significant contribution to society?

Ummm, how about Keith Richards' advances in medical science, particularly live embalming?
2003-02-25 09:59:11 AM  
Johnnie, we barely knew ye.
2003-02-25 10:00:39 AM  
It's called the Angstonger Diet and I strongly recommend it.
2003-02-25 10:01:27 AM  
2003-02-25 10:02:30 AM  
suddenly I imagine all of you browsing Fark while sucking on a stick of butter.
2003-02-25 10:02:43 AM  
Hogans, I'm more impressed by Reginleif's George Burns reference. I love the quote:

George, do you still chase the ladies?
Only if they're going downhill.
2003-02-25 10:03:24 AM  
Purple_Jack - You don't get it - once you reach the 60 mark you deserve the survivors award. Considering all the things that are constantly trying to kill us, living to an old age is an acomplishment.
It's hard to believe that 100 years ago the human life span was about half of what it is now.
"If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself". Eubie Blake - also a cigar and whiskey man, upon turning 100 years old - hey... I see a pattern here.......
2003-02-25 10:09:43 AM  
02-25-03 09:47:46 AM Purple_Jack
I'm all for compulsory euthanasia at 60. Be honest. Can you name a single person over 60 who's made a significant contribution to society?

Ronald Reagan

2003-02-25 10:21:18 AM  
nice use of hero tag
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