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(Cincinnati Enquirer)   Female prison guard indicted for running inmate penile rehab program   (news.cincinnati.com) divider line 69
    More: Dumbass  
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22745 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2009 at 9:03 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-07-14 08:42:41 AM
I think she took the term "serving hard time" a little too literally.
 
2009-07-14 09:00:24 AM
Cowan was indicted Monday on one count of sexual battery.

Maybe she would have been better off sticking to something battery-operated.
 
2009-07-14 09:05:22 AM
I have always wondered if jail could be made safer if we give them all flesh lights.
 
2009-07-14 09:07:41 AM
http://www.geocities.com/elisevharris/Edie.jpg
 
2009-07-14 09:08:23 AM
OOPS,SOrry-
 
2009-07-14 09:09:04 AM
The employee handbook apparently didn't cover this.
 
2009-07-14 09:09:10 AM
I bet the fellow was a real prize too.
 
2009-07-14 09:09:29 AM
In Russia, prison guard fark you.
 
2009-07-14 09:09:37 AM
w/o a pic, I am having trouble seeing a down side to this...
 
2009-07-14 09:12:26 AM
DysphoricMania: w/o a pic, I am having trouble seeing a down side to this...


51 year old female prison guard. Pics not really necessary or wanted.
 
2009-07-14 09:12:29 AM
Wonder what the sentence on that will be..
 
2009-07-14 09:13:01 AM
Farkzor: Wonder what the sentence on that will be..


It will be long and hard.
 
2009-07-14 09:13:18 AM
Any Farkers host a pic?

/notsureIwant
 
2009-07-14 09:15:15 AM
rdrash: DysphoricMania: w/o a pic, I am having trouble seeing a down side to this...


51 year old female prison guard. Pics not really necessary or wanted.


Seen some good looking 51 yr olds... never know when you may win the sex bingo...
 
2009-07-14 09:15:24 AM
Was that wrong, should I not have done that?
 
2009-07-14 09:16:02 AM
rdrash: DysphoricMania: w/o a pic, I am having trouble seeing a down side to this...


51 year old female prison guard. Pics not really necessary or wanted.


51-yo or not, if it's the only vag available, I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter.
 
2009-07-14 09:18:00 AM
will he be afforded the services of a victim's advocate?

/hopes so.
 
2009-07-14 09:20:28 AM
In a Dayton paper the hole in question is 60.


Dayton Daily (new window)
Iona D. Cowan, 60, was indicted on four third-degree felony counts of sexual battery - one for each encounter with the inmate.
 
2009-07-14 09:21:09 AM
That's one smart woman there.. having sex with people who live that kind of criminal lifestyle couldn't possibly lead to a life threatening std could it? Nahhh..
 
2009-07-14 09:23:39 AM
where's her Myspace page?
 
2009-07-14 09:26:39 AM
Triaxis: That's one smart woman there.. having sex with people who live that kind of criminal lifestyle couldn't possibly lead to a life threatening std could it? Nahhh..

I do not think that word means what you think it means.
 
2009-07-14 09:28:28 AM
images.askmen.com

Is 51 also.
 
2009-07-14 09:28:38 AM
FTFA: "There were video cameras that showed not the acts themselves but things related to the acts. Precursors to the acts," he said.

Precursors eh? That's what the cool kids are calling it now.
 
2009-07-14 09:28:39 AM
Thisbymaster: I have always wondered if jail could be made safer if we give them all flesh lights.

We wouldn't want prisoners to accidentally the WHOLE Flesh Light, though.
 
hej
2009-07-14 09:29:47 AM
According to this farking article(new window), she's 60.
 
2009-07-14 09:33:33 AM
Oh, Claire, you biatch.
www.durfee.net
 
2009-07-14 09:34:01 AM
Authorities said Iona D. Cowan, 51, of Forest Park, had four different sexual encounters with a male prisoner at the Lebanon Correctional Institute.

Totally misread that as Lesbian Correctional Institute.
 
2009-07-14 09:34:28 AM
Jester Arm: Is 51 also.

She is also the exception... not the rule. Find me a picture of a 51 (or 60) year old prison guard that is that hot, and I'll... well, I just don't know how to finish that sentence.

/Pretty sure you won't find one.
 
2009-07-14 09:39:29 AM
Jester Arm: Is 51 also.

And seems a tad chilly...
 
2009-07-14 09:39:31 AM
ClemsonChili: Oh, Claire, you biatch.

awesome work.
 
2009-07-14 09:42:32 AM
You know, compared to the kind of sexual battery a prisoner can usually expect, this probably doesn't seem so bad...
 
2009-07-14 09:42:39 AM
EZ Writer: Jester Arm: Is 51 also.

She is also the exception... not the rule. Find me a picture of a 51 (or 60) year old prison guard that is that hot, and I'll... well, I just don't know how to finish that sentence.

/Pretty sure you won't find one.


I guarantee you there's a pr0n niche for that.
 
2009-07-14 09:43:38 AM
Fappable side-bar ad from this website, free of charge:

img193.imageshack.us

/looking for MILFS like this one
//would pay for her groceries (at least one time)
///notices she must be near the frozen aisle
 
2009-07-14 09:52:45 AM
SteelPeart: Fappable side-bar ad from this website, free of charge:



/looking for MILFS like this one
//would pay for her groceries (at least one time)
///notices she must be near the frozen aisle


The wedding ring is a nice touch. I want her that much more now.
 
2009-07-14 09:52:53 AM
Guh.

This crap is way more common than you can imagine. I work in a maximum security forensic mental health treatment facility doing direct care for a criminally charged, mentally ill male population. We have DOC certified security officers, though we're not technically a prison. It dumbfounds some of us how many women mess around with the crazies. There was one woman that worked the night shift. She would unlock their pass-through door, (a little slot in their door about waist high that you can pass their meals through), kneel down, and well you get the picture. She was caught on camera. My question is WHY?! At that point, she wasn't getting hers, (unless of course she's Linda Lovelace, and that was Deep Throat). Sadly, her daughter still works out there, and I'm sure the stigma of having a mom who serviced crazies still burns her.

The sad thing is, if they're looking for no strings-attached lovin', most of them can find it from SOME male staff out there. And my fellow males don't get off that easily either. It seems every couple of months someone gets caught bringing in drugs or tobacco or sugar, (to make buck - prison liquor), and often times its some dumbass man. Ugh.

Stupid sonsabiatches. You WILL get caught, because these people brag to their peers about their 'special treatment.' The other crazies are jealous and tell on them. I swear, some people are too stupid to live. And to think some of them are making the same salary as I do. I hate my life.
 
2009-07-14 09:54:45 AM
I guarantee you there's a pr0n niche for that.

Rule 34!!!!
 
2009-07-14 09:57:03 AM
NickelobLight: Guh.

This crap is way more common than you can imagine. I work in a maximum security forensic mental health treatment facility doing direct care for a criminally charged, mentally ill male population. We have DOC certified security officers, though we're not technically a prison. It dumbfounds some of us how many women mess around with the crazies. There was one woman that worked the night shift. She would unlock their pass-through door, (a little slot in their door about waist high that you can pass their meals through), kneel down, and well you get the picture. She was caught on camera. My question is WHY?! At that point, she wasn't getting hers, (unless of course she's Linda Lovelace, and that was Deep Throat). Sadly, her daughter still works out there, and I'm sure the stigma of having a mom who serviced crazies still burns her.

The sad thing is, if they're looking for no strings-attached lovin', most of them can find it from SOME male staff out there. And my fellow males don't get off that easily either. It seems every couple of months someone gets caught bringing in drugs or tobacco or sugar, (to make buck - prison liquor), and often times its some dumbass man. Ugh.

Stupid sonsabiatches. You WILL get caught, because these people brag to their peers about their 'special treatment.' The other crazies are jealous and tell on them. I swear, some people are too stupid to live. And to think some of them are making the same salary as I do. I hate my life.


Well bless her heart.... nothing calms crazy like a good beejer. Ya just don't see enough of that kind of charity these days. Special place in heaven for a woman willing to minister the the sick like that...
 
2009-07-14 09:59:08 AM
DysphoricMania:
Well bless her heart.... nothing calms crazy like a good beejer. Ya just don't see enough of that kind of charity these days. Special place in heaven for a woman willing to minister the the sick like that...


I don't think she tried the "They were therapeutic hummers!" defense. You're right, may have worked.
 
2009-07-14 10:04:51 AM
dic.academic.ru
 
2009-07-14 10:08:05 AM
SteelPeart: Fappable side-bar ad from this website, free of charge:



/looking for MILFS like this one
//would pay for her groceries (at least one time)
///notices she must be near the frozen aisle


\damn baby
\\clean up on aisle 5
 
2009-07-14 10:09:13 AM
I wouldn't expect this kind of thing from a Lebanese guard. I mean maybe, if it were a women's prison, but not under these circumstances...
 
2009-07-14 10:18:16 AM
For my abnormal psychology class in college, we could earn extra credit by volunteering a few hours a week to do arts & crafts, play cards, etc. at the state mental institution. So the professor was giving us a heads-up on some of the stuff to expect. One of the things he mentioned was that it's not unusual to see a patient openly masturbating in a public area.

Then the professor warned in a dry monotone that "most of you are probably lonely, some of you may be horny, but please do not have sex with the mental patients" and talked about the ramifications. One student then raised his hand and asked, "Is it okay if we masturbate along with them?" The whole class was in tears laughing, and the professor just gave him an annoyed look.
 
2009-07-14 10:18:55 AM
Hahaha I grew up in Forest Park. I'll ask around and see if anyone knows her.

/ G section represent!
 
2009-07-14 10:24:00 AM

mid6000tek


/ G section represent!


Klaus Hergesheimer, we hardly knew ye.

*checks radiation shield*
 
2009-07-14 10:24:02 AM
NickelobLight: Guh.

This crap is way more common than you can imagine. I work in a maximum security forensic mental health treatment facility doing direct care for a criminally charged, mentally ill male population so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies. We have DOC certified security officers, though we're not technically a prison. It dumbfounds some of us how many women mess around with the crazies. There was one woman that worked the night shift. She would unlock their pass-through door, (a little slot in their door about waist high that you can pass their meals through), kneel down, and well you get the picture. She was caught on camera. My question is WHY?! At that point, she wasn't getting hers, (unless of course she's Linda Lovelace, and that was Deep Throat). Sadly, her daughter still works out there, and I'm sure the stigma of having a mom who serviced crazies still burns her.

The sad thing is, if they're looking for no strings-attached lovin', most of them can find it from SOME male staff out there. And my fellow males don't get off that easily either. It seems every couple of months someone gets caught bringing in drugs or tobacco or sugar, (to make buck - prison liquor), and often times its some dumbass man. Ugh.

Stupid sonsabiatches. You WILL get caught, because these people brag to their peers about their 'special treatment.' The other crazies are jealous and tell on them. I swear, some people are too stupid to live. And to think some of them are making the same salary as I do. I hate my life.


FTFY?
 
2009-07-14 10:32:15 AM
Pvt Joker: For my abnormal psychology class in college, we could earn extra credit by volunteering a few hours a week to do arts & crafts, play cards, etc. at the state mental institution. So the professor was giving us a heads-up on some of the stuff to expect. One of the things he mentioned was that it's not unusual to see a patient openly masturbating in a public area.

Then the professor warned in a dry monotone that "most of you are probably lonely, some of you may be horny, but please do not have sex with the mental patients" and talked about the ramifications. One student then raised his hand and asked, "Is it okay if we masturbate along with them?" The whole class was in tears laughing, and the professor just gave him an annoyed look.


cool story, bro.
 
2009-07-14 10:33:54 AM
Englebert Slaptyback: mid6000tek

/ G section represent!


Klaus Hergesheimer, we hardly knew ye.

*checks radiation shield*


HAHAHA

All of the streets in Forest Park are in sections. So the G section only has streets that start with G. This is next to the H section so on and so forth. Only a few main streets break this rule.

\What section you lived in said a lot about you growing up. Much like the famous Cincinnati question "What school did you go to?" Only we mean high school.
 
2009-07-14 10:34:32 AM
Kaltros: You know, compared to the kind of sexual battery a prisoner can usually expect, this probably doesn't seem so bad...

"Prison sex, without the reconstructive anal surgery."
 
2009-07-14 10:37:06 AM
foo monkey: Triaxis: That's one smart woman there.. having sex with people who live that kind of criminal lifestyle couldn't possibly lead to a life threatening std could it? Nahhh..

I do not think that word means what you think it means.


What, it?
 
2009-07-14 10:39:13 AM
HAHA DOIN' HARD TIME LOL!!
 
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