A lonely housewife gets out of bed for the day, throws on her robe and slippers, uncovers the parrot, pulls up the shades, opens the window, puts on the coffee, and sits down to read the paper. The phone rings. A man's voice says with anticipation. "Sweetie, I just flew in from London. I'll be right over."

She puts down the paper, turns off the coffee, closes the windows, pulls down the shades, covers the parrot, takes off her robe and slippers, and gets back into bed.

The parrot says, "Damn short day, wasn't it?"

ElPresidente

Spot the difference:


The parrot has a smaller beak?

ElPresidente


PS Your name makes me think of Vyvyan acting as Mike's bodyguard, holding a cricket bat and shouting "Viva El Presidente!".

So it's time to play "Hit It, Not Hit It" with your host, Miles Long.

/would put my dinky winkle in her pie hole

ElPresidente: Many thanks to you and also those TFers who voted for the headline as well.

Nice one. Definitely HOTW material.