FARK.com: (4504583) If you're having sex with your sister-in-law, don't act all shocked when she slashes your throat with a box cutter. "Every woman I'm ever going to meet is going to ask me about that scar"

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(Some Guy)		If you're having sex with your sister-in-law, don't act all shocked when she slashes your throat with a box cutter. "Every woman I'm ever going to meet is going to ask me about that scar" (pantagraph.com)		72
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thomps

2009-07-12 09:24:13 AM

i'm sorry subby, but i don't think it should matter who i'm having sex with, as long as it's consensual, i don't think i should ever expect to be slashed in the throat with a box cutter.

thomps

2009-07-12 09:24:49 AM

ZAZ

2009-07-12 09:31:25 AM

I'm confused. She's his former sister-in-law and has the same last name. And it's not in Appalachia. Coincidence?

"Every woman I'm ever going to meet is going to ask me about that scar and I'm going to have to tell them the story."

This should have been submitted with voting enabled for better stories.

thomps

2009-07-12 09:34:21 AM

ZAZ: This should have been submitted with voting enabled for better stories.

mine would have involved swashbuckling with somali pirates on the high seas.

Snatch Bandergrip

2009-07-12 09:50:57 AM

How you get a scar like that, tough guy - eating pussy?

hubcity

2009-07-12 09:54:01 AM

thomps: thomps: i'm sorry subby, but i don't think it should matter who i'm having sex with, as long as it's consensual, i don't think i should ever expect to be slashed in the throat with a box cutter.

although, i guess the obvious exception would be an airplane hijacker.

Pro tip: Sex with airplane hijackers may be hazardous. Got it.

dogologolus

2009-07-12 09:55:22 AM

Not really worth posting, is it? Gotta be better stories out there.

biyaaatci

2009-07-12 09:56:02 AM

ZAZ: I'm confused. She's his former sister-in-law and has the same last name. And it's not in Appalachia. Coincidence?

"Every woman I'm ever going to meet is going to ask me about that scar and I'm going to have to tell them the story."

This should have been submitted with voting enabled for better stories.

It's his brother's wife. I pondered that for way too long before I figured it out.

CowboyUpCowgirlDown

2009-07-12 09:58:52 AM

It should have been his brother doing the slashin' right? biatch got what she needed, shoulda let him alone.

Gunderson

2009-07-12 10:00:40 AM

Does that mean she's available now?

3 G's

2009-07-12 10:00:51 AM

biyaaatci: ZAZ: I'm confused. She's his former sister-in-law and has the same last name. And it's not in Appalachia. Coincidence?

"Every woman I'm ever going to meet is going to ask me about that scar and I'm going to have to tell them the story."

This should have been submitted with voting enabled for better stories.

It's his brother's wife. I pondered that for way too long before I figured it out.

That could almost make a good riddle!

vinn01

2009-07-12 10:01:26 AM

thomps: i'm sorry subby, but i don't think it should matter who i'm having sex with, as long as it's consensual, i don't think i should ever expect to be slashed in the throat with a box cutter.

Consent is a very vague thing when the woman is drunk to the point of blacking out.

Methinks the guy was taking advantage of the situation. Like any horny guy alone with a drunk woman would be tempted to do.

/ (cough) I would never do that ...

moof

2009-07-12 10:03:04 AM

ZAZ: This should have been submitted with voting enabled for better stories.

Heck, the guy himself should see that scar as an opportunity to spin a story that makes him look more interesting than he really is..
'That? Oh, I got that in the Seals..'
'That? Oh, I got that from an elephant..'

etc.

jfarkinB

2009-07-12 10:04:09 AM

If you're having sex with your sister-in-law, don't act all shocked when she slashes your throat with a box cutter.

Gaah! More stupid rules! I hate memorizing rules!

ciocia

2009-07-12 10:04:47 AM

3 G's: biyaaatci: ZAZ: I'm confused. She's his former sister-in-law and has the same last name. And it's not in Appalachia. Coincidence?

"Every woman I'm ever going to meet is going to ask me about that scar and I'm going to have to tell them the story."

This should have been submitted with voting enabled for better stories.

It's his brother's wife. I pondered that for way too long before I figured it out.

That could almost make a good riddle!

I figured it out in about .1 of a second. How else could it be?

thomps: i'm sorry subby, but i don't think it should matter who i'm having sex with, as long as it's consensual, i don't think i should ever expect to be slashed in the throat with a box cutter.

I think the subby meant that somebody who cheats on their hubby with his brother is a heapin' helpin' of crazy. Of course, a guy who screws his brother's wife isn't wrapped too tight, either.

jdemartino

2009-07-12 10:05:38 AM

This boy should be on his knees every night, thanking the Big Guy that she went for the throat and not for something else. Easier to explain a scar on the neck than an empty sack or the real reason your nickname is "Stubby".

Later,

Joe

biyaaatci

2009-07-12 10:06:32 AM

3 G's: biyaaatci: ZAZ: I'm confused. She's his former sister-in-law and has the same last name. And it's not in Appalachia. Coincidence?

"Every woman I'm ever going to meet is going to ask me about that scar and I'm going to have to tell them the story."

This should have been submitted with voting enabled for better stories.

It's his brother's wife. I pondered that for way too long before I figured it out.

That could almost make a good riddle!

I was just too caught up in the possibility that this guy was banging two crazy-stabby sisters (possibly twins)and was half-expecting him to have no regrets. Then I figured out he was merely banging one crazy-stabby woman and he lost all my respect.

Bee Roo Ga Ho Shee

2009-07-12 10:06:34 AM

'That? Oh, I got that from trying to f*ck an elephant seal...'

ciocia

2009-07-12 10:06:43 AM

vinn01: thomps: i'm sorry subby, but i don't think it should matter who i'm having sex with, as long as it's consensual, i don't think i should ever expect to be slashed in the throat with a box cutter.

Consent is a very vague thing when the woman is drunk to the point of blacking out.

Methinks the guy was taking advantage of the situation. Like any horny guy alone with a drunk woman would be tempted to do.

/ (cough) I would never do that ...

Apparently, this was her version, and the prosecution was buying no part of it. From the story, it's hard to tell.

brigid_fitch

2009-07-12 10:08:22 AM

ZAZ: "Every woman I'm ever going to meet is going to ask me about that scar and I'm going to have to tell them the story."

This should have been submitted with voting enabled for better stories.

Exactly. A friend of mine has a genetic disorder which causes the skin on his legs & arms to literally peel off. He has horrible scars and makes up a new story every time someone asks him what happened. I've heard him use radiation poisoning, chemical burns from an industrial accident, running into a burning building to save a trapped infant, and a host of others.

But I guess a guy who's going to sleep with his brother's drunk wife doesn't have much of an imagination.

thomps

2009-07-12 10:10:45 AM

ciocia: I think the subby meant that somebody who cheats on their hubby with his brother is a heapin' helpin' of crazy. Of course, a guy who screws his brother's wife isn't wrapped too tight, either.

infidelity now indicates a penchant for manslaughter?

RamboFrog

2009-07-12 10:11:04 AM

ciocia
Of course, a guy who screws his brother's wife isn't wrapped too tight, either.

Depends on what she looks like. If my brother were married to Jessica Alba and I had the opportunity to do her? (Pause to let the laughter die down.) Damned right it take it.

Gunderson

2009-07-12 10:15:58 AM

RamboFrog: ciocia
Of course, a guy who screws his brother's wife isn't wrapped too tight, either.

Depends on what she looks like. If my brother were married to Jessica Alba and I had the opportunity to do her? (Pause to let the laughter die down.) Damned right it take it.

Even better if you got the brother to videotape the incident...

ciocia

2009-07-12 10:18:51 AM

thomps: ciocia: I think the subby meant that somebody who cheats on their hubby with his brother is a heapin' helpin' of crazy. Of course, a guy who screws his brother's wife isn't wrapped too tight, either.

infidelity now indicates a penchant for manslaughter?

No, just that you are nuts. Or a candidate for the Springer Show. Mostly, both.

ciocia

2009-07-12 10:23:35 AM

Because Dude, she's his sister-in-law.
--apparently, there is a Jessica Alba Clause where none of this applies.

Joce678

2009-07-12 10:23:59 AM

hubcity:
Pro tip: Sex with airplane hijackers may be hazardous. Got it.

More useful tip: Don't rape people near box cutters.

I don't know whey he's acting all "victim" here. When a woman slashes at you with a box cutter then maybe it's not totally 100% consensual. Just sayin'.

thomps

2009-07-12 10:28:53 AM

ciocia: Because Dude, she's his sister-in-law.
--apparently, there is a Jessica Alba Clause where none of this applies.

well yeah, i'm not saying i'd be high-fiving the dude for it, but nor would i tell him that he should have expected to be shived in the neck mid-coitus.

Pay the Man

2009-07-12 10:29:16 AM

I wonder what she'll use to cut the bulldyke cellie who will be on her like stink on poo.?

moof

2009-07-12 10:29:57 AM

Joce678: hubcity:
Pro tip: Sex with airplane hijackers may be hazardous. Got it.

More useful tip: Don't rape people near box cutters.

I don't know whey he's acting all "victim" here. When a woman slashes at you with a box cutter then maybe it's not totally 100% consensual. Just sayin'.

Well, I dunno about consensual, but the hourly charge is more painful than the damn cut!

NYRBill

2009-07-12 10:30:00 AM

moof: Heck, the guy himself should see that scar as an opportunity to spin a story that makes him look more interesting than he really is..
'That? Oh, I got that in the Seals..'
'That? Oh, I got that from an elephant..'
etc.

like a guy I know who has a line of scars from a motorcycle chain breaking and thrashing his leg? he tells people it's a shark bite scar ;-)

Monkey MKIII

2009-07-12 10:33:40 AM

On the right side of the page:

Flick: And then there's the urologist with that name ... - If he'd grown up to become one of those guys who fills the cracks in your basement, it would have been good.

Personally, I don't think a urologist filling the cracks in my 'basement' would be good.

thomps

2009-07-12 10:34:29 AM

NYRBill: like a guy I know who has a line of scars from a motorcycle chain breaking and thrashing his leg? he tells people it's a shark bite scar ;-)

as far as most of my friends know, the surgery scar on my wrist is actually a knife wound from a badass knife fight with tommy lee jones from back when i was a chef on a navy ship.

exi

2009-07-12 10:38:34 AM

The scar caused life-threatening injuries and left him with emotional wounds.

Something seems temporally out of kilter with this sentence.

Another Government Employee

2009-07-12 10:39:06 AM

Uhh....

No comment from the cuckolded spouse?

This has the makings of a reaaally bad Lifetime movie.

Clock Spider Jerusalem

2009-07-12 10:46:03 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: How you get a scar like that, tough guy - eating pussy?

He probably wouldn't do it and she pulled out the box cutter. She was going to get his tongue one way or another.

thomps: NYRBill: like a guy I know who has a line of scars from a motorcycle chain breaking and thrashing his leg? he tells people it's a shark bite scar ;-)

as far as most of my friends know, the surgery scar on my wrist is actually a knife wound from a badass knife fight with tommy lee jones from back when i was a chef on a navy ship.

I know a girl who tells people the scar on her leg from a mole removal came from getting into a knife fight with a shark inside an underwater volcano.

Sarcastica75

2009-07-12 10:46:41 AM

As a passionate hispanic who has a knife collection*, I am finding that the sister-in-law did it all wrong.

/*no actual knife collection, except for my cutlery.
//but that's all I need, mofos, TO CUT CHOO.

Nakito

2009-07-12 10:50:04 AM

Let's roll.

Gairloch

2009-07-12 10:50:38 AM

Wild guess- the drunk chick started making out with him possibly thinking it was his brother (her husband), then in a moment of clarity realized it wasn't so in a bit of drunken logic she decided to attack him.

/either way the guy isn't exactly innocent, but throat slashing is a bit of an over reaction

Chariset

2009-07-12 10:50:38 AM

How'd you get that mark on your forehead, Cain?

Pay the Man

2009-07-12 10:51:27 AM

Confused as to why boxcutter was not used on box...

SharkTrager

2009-07-12 10:56:58 AM

thomps: ciocia: I think the subby meant that somebody who cheats on their hubby with his brother is a heapin' helpin' of crazy. Of course, a guy who screws his brother's wife isn't wrapped too tight, either.

infidelity now indicates a penchant for manslaughter?

Infidelity? No. Infidelity with a member of the same family? Yes... Yes it does.

OK, maybe not manslaughter, but definitely issues of some sort.

dreadprophet

2009-07-12 10:58:29 AM

He doesn't even have to lie about how he got it, per se - just needs to omit that it was his sister-in-law.

"How'd you get that scar?"

"Well...the last woman I was with was a bit off... she tried to slit my throat with a box cutter while we were having sex."

Might be good to scrounge up some sympathy.

Fluff Girl

2009-07-12 10:59:10 AM

RamboFrog: Depends on what she looks like. If my brother were married to Jessica Alba and I had the opportunity to do her? (Pause to let the laughter die down.) Damned right it take it.

I was under the impression that every guy wanted to nail his sister-in-law.

Joce678

2009-07-12 11:05:26 AM

Sarcastica75: As a passionate hispanic who has a knife collection ... that's all I need, mofos, TO CUT CHOO.

Mixing Hispanic with Ebonic? That's a taserin'

Joce678

2009-07-12 11:06:35 AM

Clock Spider Jerusalem:
I know a girl who tells people the scar on her leg from a mole removal came from getting into a knife fight with a shark inside an underwater volcano.

Does anybody believe her?

Broadside

2009-07-12 11:09:17 AM

Joce678: Mixing Hispanic with Ebonic? That's a taserin

It's blackspanic.

bunner

2009-07-12 11:11:17 AM

I don't have much by way of family and sometimes I wish I did.

Then I read about some people's families and I feel pretty ok.

scandalrag

2009-07-12 11:16:28 AM

Fluff Girl: RamboFrog: Depends on what she looks like. If my brother were married to Jessica Alba and I had the opportunity to do her? (Pause to let the laughter die down.) Damned right it take it.

I was under the impression that every guy wanted to nail his sister-in-law.

That depends, can I use a nail gun?

\Why yes, my brother did marry a psychotic biatch.

Magorn

2009-07-12 11:18:29 AM

thomps: i'm sorry subby, but i don't think it should matter who i'm having sex with, as long as it's consensual, i don't think i should ever expect to be slashed in the throat with a box cutter.

She has a lousy lawyer. If she was so intoxicated she blacked out, then the sex BY LEGAL DEFINITION was not consensual. And just circumstantially, if she felt the need to try and kill the man she was having sex with, that's pretty good evidence that she didn't want to encounter to happen.

thomps

2009-07-12 11:22:16 AM

Magorn: She has a lousy lawyer. If she was so intoxicated she blacked out, then the sex BY LEGAL DEFINITION was not consensual. And just circumstantially, if she felt the need to try and kill the man she was having sex with, that's pretty good evidence that she didn't want to encounter to happen.

yeah i refuse to read the article, i was commenting more on subby's headline.

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