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(Mainichi Daily News)   Foreigners wonder why Japan grants citizenship to seals but not them   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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5337 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2003 at 6:43 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

90 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-24 01:36:15 PM  
Just learn to balance a ball on your noses and quit yer biatchin.
2003-02-24 03:57:31 PM  
Seals are tasty, and have nice fur coats. When the foreigners can say the same, I'm sure they'll get the same treatment.

"Go big guy!"
"The Iron Chef has started his seal cooker!"
2003-02-24 06:45:29 PM  
I guess it's because all seals like seafood too.
2003-02-24 06:46:35 PM  
Because they are some of the most racist people on the face of the Earth.
2003-02-24 06:48:29 PM  
The Japanese are likely one of the most racist groups out there. Some of them make the KKK look like civil rights activists. No foreigners, even part-Korean or Chinese persons as far as I know, can get Japanese citizenship. The way they've treated their own aboriginal population would make ol'General Phil Sheridan (Only good Indian is a dead Indian)feel proud.
2003-02-24 06:49:49 PM  
(And I thought I was a cynical bastard!)
2003-02-24 06:50:58 PM  
Residency and citizenship are different.

The seal is a resident alien, not a Japanese citizen.
2003-02-24 06:53:44 PM  
From what I understand - if you are an American citizen - you can just fly to Japan, register somewhere, then get a job or whatever you want, and stay as long as you like. Damn expensive in Tokyo though.
2003-02-24 06:55:38 PM  
While I agree that Japan's immigration laws are a bit fvcked, calling them the most racist people on the planet is a bit far out. It's not like they are bombing weaker nations because they can, or sending underfvcked psychopaths to other nations armed with boxcutters and given free reign to wreak havoc. Just be nice to the Japanese and make fun of their semi-xenophobic nation like good Westerners, okay?
2003-02-24 06:57:54 PM  
Three words:

Japan Seal P0rn
2003-02-24 07:00:04 PM  
Now-now CS, they certainly have done the first, and, if you change "boxcutters" to "katana", they have done the latter, too.
2003-02-24 07:01:16 PM  
Well he's a fine singer. Haven't heard from him in a while though. I guess he's been in Japan.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-24 07:01:18 PM  
(And, within living memory.)
2003-02-24 07:03:10 PM  
Don't get me wrong, I'm a bit of a Nippophilac, myself. But they ain't all Pikachu and panty porn, pal.
2003-02-24 07:03:31 PM  
Been here. Ranted about this. Left.
Will go back someday. Will never even *bother* applying for permanent resident.

Takogirl? You out there?
What's up?
2003-02-24 07:04:16 PM  
Japan has hated and feared foreign people for a very long time. They had a few run-ins, and then agreed they didn't want any more.

Then they finally began communicating with the outsiders, they apparently saw they were all jerks. They then tried to kill all the foreign people, with the help of a foreign man with funny facial hair, that seemed very into the whole "killing massive numbers of people. Then, the foreign people nuked them.

Y'know, I don't think it would come as a surprise that there's a little "bad blood" there, somewhere, no matter how hidden.
2003-02-24 07:04:17 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2003-02-24 07:05:29 PM  
Nanookanano: of course, they've since chilled out and instead spend their time being really, really weird, and at the same time really, really cool. Hey, didn't the English teach the Native Americans scalping?
2003-02-24 07:06:42 PM  
Well . . it was spelled phonetically into English, anyway.
(Grumble, biatch, whine; friggin' spelling shogun!)
2003-02-24 07:07:18 PM  
I thought this story was funnier:

Copy and paste, you!!!
2003-02-24 07:07:25 PM  
Actually, it was French canucks who started that.
2003-02-24 07:09:06 PM  
Three words. Rape. Of. Nanking.
Seriously, about the only hope in hell a non-Japanese has of getting citizenship there is if they are one hell of a ballplayer, and the Nagasaki Sashimi or whatever the hell ball club need them real bad.
The present-day Japanese don't even want to admit their ancestors in WW2 did some questionable things. They didn't want to pay any damages to the families of POW's worked to death or crippled in their factories and shipyards until the Aussies said pay up, or no trade agreement. (This was a few years back.) If they really need something in the trade world, these Samurai types will bow so low their neckties scrape the floor.
2003-02-24 07:10:36 PM  
1) Nanook is right CS. Japan practically invented "manifest destiny", and did quite a lot of conquesting up until 1945. They also invented kamikazes, although I guess they didn't dive bomb civilians and that makes all the difference. Let's just agree that the racism is a lot more widespread in Japan than a lot of people might think.

2) Seriously, how can the admins actually read Fark and not have come up with a Japan tag yet??? I think people have even submitted pretty good ones in the comments.
2003-02-24 07:10:50 PM  
Yay! Let's hear it for Pikyachu and panty pron!!!
2003-02-24 07:11:55 PM  
Who started bukkake?
2003-02-24 07:12:00 PM  
I have a friend who is, for intents and purposes, Japanese. He was born in Japan, raised in Japan, and lived his whole life in Japan (except for when he went to my college for study abroad).

He is not considered Japanese. He's only a resident alien, and apparently it's nearly impossible for him to attain citizenship. Even when he does, there's still a distinction between himself and those of Japanese ancestry.

Anybody else think there's something wrong with this?
2003-02-24 07:14:07 PM  
Every Japanese person that I have been acquainted with has been ultimately respectful. It is very difficult shipping products to Japan though...must pay of the little man at the port to get in. Tough doing business unless you know someone. Great food, good geisha, beer in vending machines on the street. Overall, a fark favorite vacation spot.
2003-02-24 07:15:19 PM  
"The Japanese are likely one of the most racist groups out there."

Yea this is how farking bad it is.....I know a guy who's family got trapped outside the country during WW2 prior to Perl Harbor. After the war was over they would not re-instate his parents citizenship. How hardcore is that?
2003-02-24 07:16:27 PM  
Last week they arrested a dog for murder. This week they grant citizenship to a seal. I wonder what wacky adventures we'll have next week in the japanimal kingdom.
2003-02-24 07:17:26 PM  
Zevon2000: don't worry, I'm aware of Japan's bloody history, I'm just saying, at least they are polite with it these days.
2003-02-24 07:18:15 PM  
laws for Japanese citizenship at birth

I have no html skills
2003-02-24 07:20:07 PM  
More precisely, scalping was practiced by some East coast tribes, but was escallated by premiums offered by, first French Canadians in the 1680's and then the US colonials in response. But, for all our victimizations of the native population, we did not teach them this particular practice.
2003-02-24 07:25:47 PM  
2003-02-24 07:27:47 PM  
Nanookanano's link.

Next post: how to link your own web pages. Also, bold and italics just for the hell of it.
2003-02-24 07:30:06 PM  
Linking to a page
<a href="webpageurl>text</a>
Replace webpageurl with the url (, and leave in the quotation marks.
Replace text with what you'd like it to say, for example: Sixkiller's link. or Nanookanano's link.


2003-02-24 07:30:47 PM  
This is a tough one. On one hand, since I'm an American and I have spent the majority of my life in areas populated mainly by immigrants and naturalized citizens, I'm very sympathetic to the British nationals seeking citizenship. By and large, the immigrants I grew up with (including my wife) were among the most motivated and hardest-working people I've ever met.

On the other hand, the article wasn't about America. Japan has every right to keep their citizenship policies as draconian as they wish. I know it bites, but that's apparently how the Japanese want it.
2003-02-24 07:32:02 PM  
It's how we may want it, before too long.
2003-02-24 07:34:43 PM  
That's true CS, you can't say that Japan is not a polite nation on the whole.

Also, here's (I hope) Comic Book Guy's other Mainichi link, ready to be clicked:

Well-hung Swede shoots down gal's drive for sex queen crown

Could things like this explain their hostility towards foreigners? I'm just asking.
2003-02-24 07:34:43 PM  
That "give me your poor, huddled masses" thing was not from the Constitution. It's a line from a poem. Neutrality was our original stance. And, we do not owe the World open, unlimited immigration.
2003-02-24 07:34:45 PM  
Zevon2000 :2) Seriously, how can the admins actually read Fark and not have come up with a Japan tag yet??? I think people have even submitted pretty good ones in the comments.

img.fark.netView Full Size

Japan Tag, lmao
2003-02-24 07:36:40 PM  
Ha ha. Well, I farked up the line breaks, but at least the link works. And yeah, the Mainichi icon really is the Japan tag, that's true...but an actual tag would just be so much more fun, wouldn't it?
2003-02-24 07:37:07 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-24 07:37:20 PM  
Well, the Japanese have always been this way; especially to westerners. Unless they are rich/famous. Japanese culture 101. Still better than the culture that came up with putting baked beans on fried eggs for breakfast. Then again, I am mostly Irish and German, and because of that, hold an inherent hatred for the Britons within my genes.
2003-02-24 07:44:44 PM  
Japan is a very polite country on the whole, but they do have a serious mistrust of foreigners. However, they are servants to the almighty dollar (or yen), and are quite open to dealing with foreigners when they profit from it. They just don't want to quite acknowledge said foreigners as absolute equals or the same as their citizens. As Ludicrousname said, it's an internal policy and they have every right to choose it, and as it doesn't really cause true harm to anyone, I doubt the international community is ever going to get worked up about it to make any attempt to convince them to change it.
2003-02-24 07:54:29 PM  
Japan's dislike of foreigners will get it when it comes to their advancing age and upcoming negative population growth.
2003-02-24 07:57:04 PM  
Enlarged Japan tag:

[image from too old to be available]

Next stop, Hell!

Seriously though, I'm sorry if this offends anyone.
2003-02-24 08:06:42 PM  
Cynicalbastard: No foreigners, even part-Korean or Chinese persons as far as I know, can get Japanese citizenship.

Actually, I'm pretty sure if you're part-Korean or Chinese, and the other part is Japanese, you can be a Japanese citizen.

Not saying it's right or wrong, but I believe that's how it is.
2003-02-24 08:10:43 PM  
Okay, let me get this straight. These two guys dressed up in seal suits and went to a government office, demanding recognition.

Of course they can't get citizenship, they're furries.

And on that note, I will now prepare for my interview tomorrow for a job in Japan.
2003-02-24 08:11:46 PM  
MachuPichu wins.
2003-02-24 08:13:16 PM  
Uh yeah, the Japanese are racists. When you see Japanese tourists in the US, stare at them. It drives them nuts.
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