"I'm gettin' too old for this!"

DAD!??!

Sigh. Sure, it seems funny tyhe first time it happens to ya but after a while it just gets kind of old.

Damn hookers.

Sh*t, now THAT's embarrassing.

Yay!

That happens all the time.

Dunno how this even made the news. Regular occurence 'round my way.

The motive remained a mystery.

One word. Hooker.

There needs to be a better word for weird

/Strong Sad

I hate when that happens!

I've been in this situation. The best thing to do is think sexy thoughts, that way at least the Firemen think you're well endowed.... A loser, but a well endowed loser.

Pretty Shiatty thing to do to a person if you ask me.

PlastiqueJeebus wins.

Room at the Pawnee Inn: $29 a night.
BDSM Hooker: $200 an hour.
Pissing off said hooker and having her handcuff you to a toilet and try to kill you: Welcome to the great state of Kansas.

"nice clean rooms, king beds, reasonable rates, hookers
with handcuffs"

Good one Jabba

I think I'd chew my own arm off before I'd call the FD.

Father Gera, what's happening here?

You mean, people actually live in Kansas?

shiat, I hate when that happens. Gents, when getting kinky with a female that might have a grudge, always keep a lockpick handy. Even when naked, there are a couple of places where you can store it.

"Really, I swear, I'm in school to learn how to be an escape artist and I just... What are you laughing at? I am...I swear!"

Am I the only one having problems picturing how someone actually gets handcuffed to a toilet? The crap in the back of the inside is all cheap plastic and would rip right out. The seat, assuming it's a normal toilet seat and not a hotel missing the very front part seat, is usually mounted by cheap adhesive and could be pulled off if you wanted to, that is if you could actually wrap a handcuff around something as wide as a toilet seat.

Maybe they have different toilets in Kansas than I've ever seen.

Just thought I'd add some musical accompanionment to this story:

I'm In Love With a Wonderful Guy
By Margaret Whiting

I'm as corny as Kansas in August,
I'm as normal as blueberry pie.
No more a smart little girl with no heart,
I have found me a wonderful guy!
I am in a conventional dither,
With a conventional star in my eye.
And you will note there's a lump in my throat
When I speak of that wonderful guy!
I'm as trite and as gay as a daisy in May,
A cliche coming true!
I'm bromidic and bright as a moon happy night
Pouring light on the dew!
I'm as corny as Kansas in August,
High as a flag on the Fourth of July!
If you'll excuse an expression I use,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love with a wonderful guy!

I've got a few problems with this:

1. Who handcuffs someone to a toilet, then sets the place on fire? Your average bathroom tends to be filled with non-flammable items. It also has easy access to water, from several sources.

2. How do you handcuff someone to the toilet? Where does the second cuff get attached?

There's an easier solution: put him on the bed (knocked out, preferably), and set the bed on fire. I wonder why this wasn't the way it was done?

(Disclaimer: I have not been involved in any violent crimes, nor would I condone them. Never caught, never convicted.)

Hell hath no fury like a hooker scorned.

heh heh .. "Babu"

Maybe it was a member of the russian mafia out to get vengeance on two Irish brothers?

/boondock saints

Someone saying "we need a Kansas tag." in 5, 4, 3, ...

we need a Kansas tag. happy?

Icy_one

Stole the thought right out of my head..

I bet the person who cuffed 'im and set the bed on fire probably just ran to the nearest sex store to pick up a feather for tickling. It fits... Naked, cuffed, fire... a bad S&M gone wrong...

Hogans: I was thinking about this as well and I suspect the person that did this was not trying to kill the guy. My first thought was adulterous husband and his jealous girlfriend. She wants him to leave his wife or something (you know, pillow talk after they bone in this motel) and he won't so she leaves him tied up and catches the bed on fire...only because it will make a big commotion and plenty of people will hear/have the story to tell.

Two words, "he started the mattress on fire and handcuffed himself to the toilet". Why?? I guess you can ask that even if he didn't.

"Kids, gather 'round and let Grampa tell you the story of the night he spent in a Kansas motel. It was the winter of 2003..."

Very.

Told you so.

...And his name was Danny Glover...

aka "Roger Murtaugh"

He needs those "Love Cuffs" - they have a special safety release for just such a situation.

Babu?



You very bad man!

after someone set a mattress on fire and handcuffed him to a toilet, Fire Marshal Ed Bricknell said.

I'm assuming it wasn't in that order.

02-24-03 12:10:51 PM Hogans
I've got a few problems with this:
...
2. How do you handcuff someone to the toilet? Where does the second cuff get attached?

Can't help you with your first question, but for #2, observe the location of the water supply pipe on this diagram:



If he was handcuffed to the supply line, and the supply (being a metal pipe) was securely attached to the bottom of the tank, it would be no big deal to handcuff someone to the toilet.

Or, perhaps he was seated on the toilet, with his hands behind the bowl, below the tank.

That's really wierd. I was looking at a pack of those 'love cuffs' tonight in a store window. True. I'd never even seen them before, I just use the normal PD type .. ah er um..

Anyway, that synchronicity thing keeps happening to me and FARK. Perhaps its because there are so many drugged out psychotic loons like myself here that we're on the wavelength.

he was waitin for his golden shower

Handcuffed to the toilet? Yeah, kinda sucks when you swallow the key... Not that I would know anything about that... Really!