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(Globe and Mail) Obvious "I had hundreds of e-mails from people telling me that they never had a drinking problem before they had kids and all of a sudden, they're drinking every night." In other news, there's a website called Momswhodrinkandswear.com   (theglobeandmail.com) divider line 161
More: Obvious  
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10481 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2009 at 2:22 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



161 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-07-06 12:33:18 AM
So, having kids leads to drinking. And drinking frequently leads to having kids.

It's the circle of liiiife...
 
2009-07-06 01:33:43 AM
As someone with small kids who recently picked up a very large bottle of cheap wine, I'm getting a kick out of this story.
 
2009-07-06 01:42:18 AM
farm1.static.flickr.com

Not a shoop. I saw it in a liquor store in Somerset, NJ last weekend. Almost bought it, just for the laughs.

/Not my pic
//They also have a red, but I can't remember if it's a cab or a merlot
 
2009-07-06 01:49:46 AM
This is not a bookmark.

*whistles*
 
2009-07-06 02:29:59 AM
brigid_fitch: Not a shoop. I saw it in a liquor store in Somerset, NJ last weekend. Almost bought it, just for the laughs.

/Not my pic
//They also have a red, but I can't remember if it's a cab or a merlot


Or the blood of her firstborn.
 
2009-07-06 02:29:59 AM
Drunk mom was a lot more fun than sober mom. At least until she turned into surly mom.
Then it wasn't so fun.
 
2009-07-06 02:33:57 AM
Mmm... classy!
 
2009-07-06 02:36:17 AM
Sweet! Now I don't even need to go to a bar to find drunk women to rape make love to.
 
2009-07-06 02:36:26 AM
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I usually eat something and go to sleep, no problem.
 
2009-07-06 02:37:23 AM
eqtworld: 80% of women have children at some point.

Of course there will be alcoholic mothers.

*not shocked*


You may have missed the headline. Apparently, some women didn't drink to excess prior to having kids. This is significant, in that something about becoming a mother (the change in social position? greater responsibility? increased stress? a physiological change?) precipitated this.
 
2009-07-06 02:41:25 AM
I know I started drinking more after my downstairs nieghbors had a kid.
 
2009-07-06 02:43:50 AM
I could see myself playing with kids when I'm stoned (in fact, I think I have in the past). That's the way I can get down to their level and actually enjoy finger painting, having a goofy conversation, playing a game with them, etc.

Otherwise, I got shiat to do and kids are an annoying distraction.
 
2009-07-06 02:44:49 AM
rlv.zcache.com
 
2009-07-06 02:48:19 AM
i102.photobucket.com

what a drunk mom may look like
/not my mom, but mine does like to have the occasional several glasses of wine with dinner lulz
 
2009-07-06 02:49:48 AM
Seeing as I will be a dad in less than 3 weeks, I am looking forward to my new taste for scotch.
 
2009-07-06 02:55:25 AM
Playerslight: As someone with small kids who recently picked up a very large bottle of cheap wine, I'm getting a kick out of this story.

In a marketing class, we studied human behavior in relation to product placement in a grocery store. According to one study, sales of alcohol sky-rocketed when beer was placed nearby the diaper aisle.
 
2009-07-06 02:56:28 AM
RodneyToady: (the change in social position? greater responsibility? increased stress? a physiological change?)

img.photobucket.com
 
2009-07-06 02:59:45 AM
Finally it stops raining.
Finally the sun comes out.
Finally all the essentials are packed for the week out camping, including such outdoor essentials as yoga mats.
We arrive at the cabin. Ah, to commune with nature and scamper down to the beach and --

-- what are these 101.8o fevers all about, kids?

And so this lovely afternoon will be spent at the pediatrician's office, reading the February 1995 issue of Golf Digest.

Also: hello there, brand-new dishwasher. Just started leaking, have you? There's a good appliance. Wrecked the subfloor, maybe? Oh, awesome.

YOU'RE FARKING-A RIGHT MOM AND I WANT A DRINK.
 
2009-07-06 03:03:18 AM
I don't have a problem with people boozing it up and by most standards I am an alcoholic myself... though a sober and consequently grumpy one at the moment. I think it's funny though that it took till parenthood for drinking habits to begin. Was it the kids that revealed to these people that life is a simply one disappointment after another? Are people really that blithe? Are they disappointed in themselves or their children? Probably a little of both.

This is why we need to remove the stigma of abortion and have increasingly large numbers of people sterilized.
 
2009-07-06 03:07:16 AM
My first wife never had a throwing-things-at-our-daughter problem until she started drinking...
 
2009-07-06 03:07:36 AM
Sometimes you just need to give the kid a hug, read Sammy the Seal for the 80th time this week and go tie one on. Is it wrong? Yes. Why can't modern science give me a powerful drug like alcohol that doesn't give me a headache? Because the government says it's wrong to feel good.
 
2009-07-06 03:10:58 AM
i306.photobucket.com
 
2009-07-06 03:11:51 AM
GrafxLvr: Playerslight: As someone with small kids who recently picked up a very large bottle of cheap wine, I'm getting a kick out of this story.

In a marketing class, we studied human behavior in relation to product placement in a grocery store. According to one study, sales of alcohol sky-rocketed when beer was placed nearby the diaper aisle.


Ah beer and diapers. Usually cited by Business Intelligence guys the world over as one of the definitive (or apocryphal) examples of retail affinity analysis. In your store you strategically put cases of beer next to the diapers (or maybe the milk) at about 4pm. When heading home for the night, Daddy picks up a case to sooth the pain of a night of diaper changing.

Affinity analysis is beguiling. Milk has an affinity with everything, for example.
 
2009-07-06 03:13:24 AM
Die Kunst Der Fuge: This is why we need to remove the stigma of abortion and have increasingly large numbers of people sterilized.

Ya started off alright, then went quickly past squirrely and straight off a cliff.

img.photobucket.com
 
2009-07-06 03:16:17 AM
I routinely tell my daughter, when she does something stupid and expensive, "this is why I drink".

Tips the Cab
 
2009-07-06 03:23:29 AM
maybe the alcohol is a way for them to hide the fact that they werent ready to have kids and you were an accident and they regret the fark out of you ruining their lives.
 
2009-07-06 03:26:49 AM
Notabunny: Die Kunst Der Fuge: This is why we need to remove the stigma of abortion and have increasingly large numbers of people sterilized.

Ya started off alright, then went quickly past squirrely and straight off a cliff.


So say you! If my parents had had the good sense to abort me or really get sterilized in the first place I wouldn't have to deal with having nothing better in life to look forward to than my next bottle. Granted, it's not a bad thing to look forward to but... I occasionally feel shame when my local proprietor notices me walk through his door yet again. Deep within his greedy little Asian immigrant eyes I can tell he condescends me and my lifestyle. He believes his life has been productive... he managed to climb out of whatever shiathole his family was from and make "progress" towards America. This is certainly progress, I'm not being ironic, but to what end? So his grandchildren eventually fall into the mediocrity that is contemporary Western society? Wallowing in their own excessively introspective and self aware pointless lives?

I'm glad we have more drinking parents... I hope it develops into full blown alcoholism consequences be damned. Black eyes & fat lips only mean that Mommy & Daddy care enough to show it.
 
2009-07-06 03:28:52 AM
90supraT: maybe the alcohol is a way for them to hide the fact that they werent ready to have kids and you were an accident and they regret the fark out of you ruining their lives.

How dare you accurately describe my parents!
 
2009-07-06 03:30:33 AM
Not only does having kids lead to increased drinking, but having been a kid increases drinking!
 
2009-07-06 03:36:09 AM
RodneyToady: eqtworld: 80% of women have children at some point.

Of course there will be alcoholic mothers.

*not shocked*

You may have missed the headline. Apparently, some women didn't drink to excess prior to having kids. This is significant, in that something about becoming a mother (the change in social position? greater responsibility? increased stress? a physiological change?) precipitated this.


They realize that parenthood is a messy, barely any sleep, selfless, 24/7 job with no pampering vacation days instead of the fantasy they had in their minds about being the perfect mother without having to break a sweat.

I never wanted kids for this very reason. However; my sister died last fall and left behind her infant son. (Dad was not in the picture. A bitter battle there.) My mom and I became guardians of my nephew. And, guess what? Parenting is exactly what I had imagined it. The job is hard work. But I love the little guy. And I know I am not going end as one of those drunken parents because I understand what exactly I am getting into.

/Strange thing is, my nephew looks more like me than my sister.
 
2009-07-06 03:44:09 AM
Wow I can stop thinking I'm abnormal in this one dilemma. *whew*

/drinks less when daddy isn't home
 
2009-07-06 03:48:29 AM
eqtworld: itaas mo!
 
2009-07-06 03:50:14 AM
90supraT: maybe the alcohol is a way for them to hide the fact that they werent ready to have kids and you were an accident and they regret the fark out of you ruining their lives.

Mom?
 
2009-07-06 03:51:13 AM
mekki: RodneyToady: eqtworld: 80% of women have children at some point.


/Strange thing is, my nephew looks more like me than my sister.


I would go ahead and clarify the hell out of that statement.
 
2009-07-06 03:56:21 AM
Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems. - H. Simpson
 
2009-07-06 03:58:46 AM
Die Kunst Der Fuge: So say you!

I see the hook in my lip now. I usually don't bite, but today I tip my hat to an artist. Well done.
 
2009-07-06 03:59:24 AM
90supraT: mekki: RodneyToady: eqtworld: 80% of women have children at some point.


/Strange thing is, my nephew looks more like me than my sister.

I would go ahead and clarify the hell out of that statement.


What do you mean? In the genetic grab bag, my nephew wound up with my nose, eyebrows and mouth. He's even left handed like me. (The only other left handed person on both sides of the family was my father's mother.) He has my sister's eyes, laugh and the same little gap in his teeth that she had when she was his age.
 
2009-07-06 04:02:11 AM
Notabunny:

Now I'm curious. She's a realdoll? She's a tranny? Oh fark, she's dead, isn't she?
 
2009-07-06 04:31:05 AM
Well, OK. I gotta tell you straight off that my ex-wife does not drink, and she is as bat-shiat crazy as it is possible to be. I read your posts and I know your pain. I myself drink, and my ex thinks that because I do I am an alcoholic. And tells my daughter so. But I never screech and scream at someone because they brought the soup in without crackers.

Alcohol. Lots of people will tell you it is poison, but getting together with your mates (or girlfriends) and tilting a few is not a bad thing to do. It ain't the booze, it's the friends. And the blowing off of the steam. If alcohol is involved, it just helps everybody feel better for a while.

Arguements?
 
2009-07-06 04:36:47 AM
mekki: 90supraT: mekki: RodneyToady: eqtworld: 80% of women have children at some point.


/Strange thing is, my nephew looks more like me than my sister.

I would go ahead and clarify the hell out of that statement.

What do you mean? In the genetic grab bag, my nephew wound up with my nose, eyebrows and mouth. He's even left handed like me. (The only other left handed person on both sides of the family was my father's mother.) He has my sister's eyes, laugh and the same little gap in his teeth that she had when she was his age.


I was implying incest, it was a joke.
 
2009-07-06 04:50:31 AM
RammaLamma: Arguements?

I don't know what makes me angrier... your spelling, or your inability to remember the soup crackers for the love of God YOU DRUNK.
 
2009-07-06 05:03:41 AM
RammaLamma: Arguements?

I don't know what makes me angrier... your spelling, or your inability to remember the soup crackers for the love of God YOU DRUNK.


Arguments?

/So ashamed...
 
2009-07-06 05:13:30 AM
RammaLamma: RammaLamma: Arguements?

I don't know what makes me angrier... your spelling, or your inability to remember the soup crackers for the love of God YOU DRUNK.

Arguments?

/So ashamed...


No argument here - you're a drunk and should be ashamed.
 
2009-07-06 05:24:15 AM
Not at all surprising, though for me, marriage itself was the most traumatizing part of life, though having kid #1 ten months after the vows kinda had a synergistic effect.

Seemingly overnight, I went from being a happy, self-sufficient (though not particularly wealthy) guy with my own friends, my own interests, able to go places & do things whenever I had the whim, to being one of those sad debt-ridden people you see shuffling down the aisles of Walmart putting diapers and formula on the credit card. Having new responsibilities is one thing, but instantly having two dependents, one of whom who could waste my money on useless shiat whenever a telemarketer phoned, was another thing.

And then all the nagging started...

I think I'm very, very fortunate that my brain prefers chocolate ice cream to alcohol. It's easier to lose some fat than it is to get a new liver.

/...and don't start with the breast feeding lectures. I've heard them all, and wife was physically unable, so keep your sanctimony to yourself, okay? Thanks.
//nothin' like a thread like this one to get me all whiny. Sorry.
 
2009-07-06 05:46:51 AM
As a stay-at-home dad for the last year and a half, I just want to say it's the hardest job I've ever done, but the most rewarding.

Anyone who is incapable of seeing true joy in watching their own children develop, learn, become actual little people from, basically, breathing shiatting lumps, and needs alcohol to cope is a shiatty parent.

My wife and I have issues, our daughter is not always the easiest creature to deal with, we have money problems - but when you have a kid, you either put that kid near the top of your priority list, or you give them to someone who will. Parents like these are why we have the kids in society we have, and they become bad parents just like theirs.
 
2009-07-06 05:47:52 AM
mekki:However; my sister died last fall and left behind her infant son.

Sorry for you and your nephew's loss. That sucks.
 
2009-07-06 06:02:00 AM
Let me guess- these women are "homemakers".

Get a job. Then you'll be too busy to be getting drunk with your twatty girlfriends.
 
2009-07-06 06:15:54 AM
coco ebert: Let me guess- these women are "homemakers".

Get a job. Then you'll be too busy to be getting drunk with your twatty girlfriends.


After coming home to a messy home and an unruly 3 and 1 year old a few too many times, I told my wife, "I'm going to take a week off work and show you how this job is done. I don't want you to lift a finger, and at the end of each day I'll have the house clean, the laundry folded, the dishes put away and the kids clean, fed and content."

I've said a lot of stupid things in my life, but that's right up near the top of the list. It was 2 or 3 days before I had time to brush my teeth. At the end of the week I was an exhausted wreck eager for the relaxed office environment with its predictable coffee breaks and uninterrupted, hour-long lunch breaks.

Being an at-home parent is the toughest job I know of.
 
2009-07-06 06:25:15 AM
Notabunny: Being an at-home parent is the toughest job I know of.

Yes, now imagine doing that AND working outside of the home. THAT'S the toughest job I can imagine. My mother did it. Believe me, she didn't have time to drink with her buddies.
 
2009-07-06 06:29:27 AM
Notabunny: coco ebert:
Being an at-home parent is the toughest job I know of.


Amen, brother. I've run small companies, I've managed complex projects, I've actually controlled wild horses (really). I am no slouch around the house - I know how to do all the domestic crap. Taking care of my grandson (10 months old) for a few days while my daughter had a minor operation about wiped me out. Three fingers of Scotch only worked if you a very wide glass.
 
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