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(Something Awful)   Something Awful apologizes for making Sarah Palin resign   (somethingawful.com) divider line 249
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12103 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Jul 2009 at 7:58 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-07-04 09:32:39 PM
Funny article.
 
2009-07-04 09:38:56 PM
Palin became a household name in 2008, when a malignant meat sack full of liquid Viagra and barely-sublimated hostility towards women and Asians chose her as its running mate.

God damn, but I love those goons.
 
2009-07-04 09:41:30 PM
I completely agree with what you said in your speech today: The world needs more Trigs.

You hear that, pregnant women of the world? The bar is officially open.


Ouch.
 
2009-07-04 09:50:49 PM
As excessive as it was, I laughed. A lot.
 
2009-07-04 09:51:28 PM
Is SA usually this funny?
 
2009-07-04 09:57:15 PM
That didn't sound very sincere at all.
 
2009-07-04 10:29:36 PM
+1 for da goons.
 
2009-07-04 11:39:53 PM
i laughed a lot harder at that than i should have.
 
2009-07-05 06:18:05 PM
Don't piss off the goons, they know no mercy.
 
2009-07-05 06:22:34 PM
Dear god that is a thing of beauty.
 
2009-07-05 06:43:35 PM
The base believed that Palin would step in for an ailing McCain and bring about the culmination of the Bush Doctrine to transform America into a smoggy Wal Mart parking lot full of ant-covered abandoned snowflake fetuses.

Brutalized by eight years of Bush prosperity, the American people experienced a fit of sanity and elected the center-right corporatist and his goofball sidekick instead of the warmongering economic neophyte and the winking, know-nothing, hockey mom hate shiat he took on the face of America.


img8.imageshack.us
 
2009-07-05 06:57:08 PM
Donald_McRonald: Is SA usually this funny?

not usually for me, but this was nicely done
 
2009-07-05 07:10:26 PM
Knew this would have to go green sometime.

/delayed gratification subby
 
2009-07-05 07:11:04 PM
//wants the hero tag back on.
 
2009-07-05 07:24:34 PM
Owie.
 
2009-07-05 08:02:01 PM
The Levi Johnston articles were pretty funny too.
 
2009-07-05 08:03:10 PM
I loled
 
2009-07-05 08:05:19 PM
This sense of futility in the face of looming defeat partly explains the conservative base's celebration when McCain made his cynical play for Clinton voters. The base wasn't even really with McCain until he picked Palin.They never liked his sissy stance on not burning terrorist scrotums and not punching Russ Feingold in his farking face on sight. Palin was an appeal to the base's blood-drenched id, aching for release in the womb of a holy-rolling special angel mom unwilling to support reproductive rights or equal pay for women.

This is a paragraph of true beauty and grace.
 
2009-07-05 08:07:17 PM
Regardless of affiliation, that was hilarious. Nicely written.

Note to 'conservatives' - when one of you sprouts a sense of humor (like ears grow on lab rats, I'm guessing), I'll laugh at your articles or even blogs poking fun of libs, too. No, O'Rourke does not fully count.
 
2009-07-05 08:08:59 PM
I love Something Awful so much sometimes.
 
2009-07-05 08:09:24 PM
damn I stopped counting how many times I said "oh snap" halfway through the article.

Pure genius
 
2009-07-05 08:10:36 PM
Megain: Donald_McRonald: Is SA usually this funny?

not usually for me, but this was nicely done


Parson's has his moments. One of my favorites of his is a hentai game review he did entirely as a series of poems. I swear I think J-list stopped sending him games to review after that one.
 
2009-07-05 08:15:28 PM
They SHOULD apologize. Them and the intire internet. It's because of naysayers and negative people that we could possibly be loosing potentially one of the best leaders this country could have. I just hope she's bowing out to prepare for a presidential bid.
 
2009-07-05 08:19:26 PM
Bush ate my bush: I just hope she's bowing out to prepare for a presidential bid.

God I hope so, if anything Obama has a knack in beating white women for office.

Plus the drama she brings would add the lolz.
 
2009-07-05 08:20:22 PM
Bush ate my bush: They SHOULD apologize.
no.
Them and the intire internet.
no.
It's because of naysayers and negative people that we could possibly be loosing potentially one of the best leaders this country could have.
Haahaa! No.
I just hope she's bowing out to prepare for a presidential bid.
YES!
 
2009-07-05 08:21:30 PM
Every once in awhile I hear a song that makes me want to stop playing guitar, because I know that I could never create anything that amazing.

This was like that, only with words.
 
2009-07-05 08:21:33 PM
"Brutalized by eight years of Bush prosperity, the American people experienced a fit of sanity and elected the center-right corporatist and his goofball sidekick"

Hilarious, and I voted for them.
 
2009-07-05 08:21:54 PM
SeismicJizzer: God I hope so, if anything Obama has a knack in beating white women for office.

So you admit that he's an abuser?

The only reason b. HUSSEIN o-momma won is because she was the VP candidate, and not the pres. candidate. SHe would have wiped the floor with him.
 
2009-07-05 08:22:03 PM
Brutalized by eight years of Bush prosperity, the American people experienced a fit of sanity and elected the center-right corporatist and his goofball sidekick instead of the warmongering economic neophyte and the winking, know-nothing, hockey mom hate shiat he took on the face of America. The outcome wasn't even close. Indiana voted for Obama and voting Democratic in presidential elections there is actually a fineable offense.

Damn, son. I LOL'd haaaard.

Good Jorb, Goons.
 
2009-07-05 08:23:33 PM
Bonanza Jellybean: The Levi Johnston articles were pretty funny too.

Yes, yes they are...

"For about a month I didn't know which chick the old dude MacCain was married to and I accidentally felt up cindy MacCain and she was like, "oh levi that feels hella good and I want you to do me but I am married to that old as fark dude" and I was like "oh shiat girl I'm sorry I meant to be grabbin' on your daughters titties" and then she was like "no I take it is a compliment" and I said back to her "yeah most women do." And then I ripped that ass up, but actually I ended up with cuts on my dick cuz there is some weird shiat goin on with her pussy. Call her ass the juicer."

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/levi-johnston/levi-johnston-goodbye.php
 
2009-07-05 08:25:01 PM
SeismicJizzer: Bush ate my bush: I just hope she's bowing out to prepare for a presidential bid.

God I hope so, if anything Obama has a knack in beating white women for office.

Plus the drama she brings would add the lolz.


Have you ever seen footage from the Obama-Keyes senate debates? They're hilarious in retrospect, but they were terrifying at the time -- to think that someone that crazy might become 50% of my state's representation in the Senate. I imagine any Obama-Palin debate would elicit the same mixture of emotions.
 
2009-07-05 08:29:23 PM
I am shocked and awestruck.
 
2009-07-05 08:31:44 PM
Bush ate my bush: SeismicJizzer: God I hope so, if anything Obama has a knack in beating white women for office.

So you admit that he's an abuser?

The only reason b. HUSSEIN o-momma won is because she was the VP candidate, and not the pres. candidate. SHe would have wiped the floor with him.


haha
 
2009-07-05 08:33:14 PM
img18.imageshack.us
 
2009-07-05 08:34:01 PM
Wait, why are we letting SA take all the credit?

We're the internet too. Many people on Fark said or shopped truly tasteless and crude things about Sarah Palin and her family.

Of course, this was no better or worse than any other individual Farkers have considered over the years. Earlier today someone greened a headline wishing death via swine flu on the ginger from Harry Potter, so...

i199.photobucket.com
 
2009-07-05 08:38:24 PM
Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!
 
2009-07-05 08:42:49 PM
Bush ate my bush: I just hope she's bowing out quitting like a biatch to prepare for a presidential bid.

I've never prayed to a deity once in my whole life, but if I thought it would help bring this about, I would certainly do so.
 
2009-07-05 08:46:51 PM
Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!


Movie titles.... and I'm too lazy this evening to find them all.
 
2009-07-05 08:48:41 PM
Rann Xerox: Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!

Movie titles.... and I'm too lazy this evening to find them all.


Sandra Bullock movies, even.
 
2009-07-05 08:48:46 PM
Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!


Sandra Bullock movies. Nice.
 
2009-07-05 08:48:53 PM
Like the Birthers, I get a feeling that Palin's continued existence on the political scene is a ploy to draw the crazies out of the Republican party, like pus from a boil.

Good luck with that, Goppers!
 
2009-07-05 08:49:38 PM
Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!


I am guessing Sandra Bullock movies btw?
(the lake house, the net, miss congeniality,speed, speed 2 cruise control)
/ not a huge fan. so that is all i know!
//is while you were sleeping one? rings a bell...
 
2009-07-05 08:49:39 PM
Forty-Two: Rann Xerox: Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!

Movie titles.... and I'm too lazy this evening to find them all.

Sandra Bullock movies, even.shiat. 5 seconds. You win.
 
2009-07-05 08:49:48 PM
Dr.Zom:

Doctor, I trolled with StopArrestingMe- I knew StopArrestingMe; StopArrestingMe is a friend of mine. Doctor, you're no StopArrestingMe.
 
2009-07-05 08:50:23 PM
Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!


There are probably more.
 
2009-07-05 08:52:54 PM
Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!


Not bad (I initially missed that they were all Sandra Bullock movies), but StopArrestingMe is a master of his craft. His posts not only work as the hurricane of puns, but work on the level of such top-quality whargarrrbl that they appear to be genuine until I notice who posted it.
 
2009-07-05 08:52:59 PM
Dr.Zom: speed too - cruise control!!!

Bullocks to you, Sam.
 
2009-07-05 08:53:04 PM
Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!


Sandra Bullock movies.
 
2009-07-05 08:54:48 PM
Forty-Two: Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!

There are probably more.


Crash
 
2009-07-05 08:56:15 PM
Forty-Two: Dr.Zom: Okay you idiots, if Sarah's speech by the lake house didn't get you up to speed then maybe this will help - Sarah Palin just rolled over ya' all while you were sleeping! She's giving you two weeks notice to get your act together and I have a premonition that you'll crash and burn like the weak dem loverboys you are. Sarah is infamous for this kind of sleight of hand and like any practical magician she's making you look at her feet while she's swooshing the net! Her smiling (and admittedly, sometimes amiss) congeniality is a proven tool and it's a time to use it to kill all those neighsayers! I hope your BS floats because Sarah is up to speed too - cruise control!!! You libs better get some demolition management be3fore its too late!!

And Stop Attacking Marriage!

There are probably more.


You forgot The Net, Hope Floats, Infamous, Loverboy and Crash.
 
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