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(Reuters)   Cremations getting risky due to more people exploding   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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12424 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2003 at 2:02 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

64 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-21 10:13:07 AM  
"Silicon implants in women who had had cosmetic breast surgery were also known to have exploded during cremation."

If Pamela Anderson goes to hell, we're gonna feel it.
2003-02-21 10:25:46 AM  
Yet another reason that Palestinians don't follow "The Swedish Model".
2003-02-21 10:52:59 AM  
Stumpy Joe is gonna blow!
2003-02-21 11:48:01 AM  
What? Someone rides into the fire with the casket?
2003-02-21 01:12:09 PM  
"...friends were adding to the problem by leaving explosive farewell tokens such as bottles of alcohol, ammunition cartridges and pieces of fireworks in the coffins."

Does this mean I shoulda stuck a brick of BlackCats and a fifth of hooch in Gramma's casket to show my respect?
2003-02-21 02:05:38 PM  
I wanna take my Great White albums with me.
2003-02-21 02:05:39 PM  
It's those wacky Brits with their 45% blood alcohol level.
2003-02-21 02:05:58 PM  
Do terrorist perform these cremations on jet fuel barges???
2003-02-21 02:06:20 PM  
Funeral Service is a booming business...
2003-02-21 02:08:20 PM  
I don't understand the problem with people leaving things in a casket as being an explosive problem. Who gets cremated in the casket? Isn't just the body that gets cremated?
2003-02-21 02:08:25 PM  
This is no worse than gag snakes that shoot out of coffins.
2003-02-21 02:08:33 PM  
So THATS where ValueJet hid the rest of those pesky Oxygen genorators!
2003-02-21 02:09:00 PM  
Bruckheimer unavailable for comment.
2003-02-21 02:09:18 PM  
Those wacky enviornmentalists!
2003-02-21 02:09:40 PM  
Which is why, when I go, first I'm gonna let all the doctors loot my body for any salvagable organs, then the rest of me gets donated to science for use in anatomy class. It's the only way I will get into med school...
2003-02-21 02:10:00 PM  
"Silicon implants in women who had had cosmetic breast surgery were also known to have exploded during cremation."

Maybe should have had the "boobies" tag. LOL
2003-02-21 02:10:01 PM  
Get cremated and explode or get embalmed and sexually penetrated?
2003-02-21 02:10:44 PM  
Right before I go, I am going to drink a gallon of gasoline, and eat a case of bottle rockets.
2003-02-21 02:11:41 PM  
I wish the HerbaLove ad on fark would explode - I keep staring at Little Miss Lay Across the Pillows.

It so farking hard to be a guy.
2003-02-21 02:12:46 PM  
Michael Jackson in the cremator:

I'm melting! Melting away!...(loud cry) nooooooo
2003-02-21 02:13:20 PM  
What? Someone rides into the fire with the casket?

Yes. Your $3k investment goes up in smoke. (Wood coffins only, they remove the fixtures. Metal ones obviously don't work.)

This is why you can get el-cheapo cardboard cremation coffins. (Man, what a great name for a band.) I think some places also offer rental coffins, although the funeral home where my father-in-law went didn't have that: IIRC the cardboard box was about $90.

2003-02-21 02:13:31 PM  
Great flaming boobies!

Is it really that hard to figure this all out before you put the corpse in the oven?
2003-02-21 02:13:56 PM  
When I die, I'm going out with a bang!
2003-02-21 02:16:54 PM  
Well if we go in a coffin, I'm going in with my Richie Rich comics in there, because I'll be damned if my family's getting them, and it will increase the chances of my ashes being simultaneously hilarious and touching.
2003-02-21 02:17:47 PM  
well...Saddam Hussein is going to have an exploding cremation.

/I got nuttin
2003-02-21 02:20:05 PM  
Was anyone else hoping for some video from this article?
2003-02-21 02:21:33 PM  
I remember hearing you pretty much had to be in a casket for cremation, otherwise you don't end up with enough ashes. Just some unburnt bones.
2003-02-21 02:21:55 PM  
SILICON implants? Hmmmmmm. Computer boobies. Cool.
2003-02-21 02:23:01 PM  
Did you americans see the Michael Jackson program with the english interviewer guy? has it been aired over there?
2003-02-21 02:23:22 PM  
Oh, wait, maybe they mean silicone.
2003-02-21 02:23:45 PM  
"Alright! Who put the bullet in the furnace?"

2003-02-21 02:23:53 PM  
Some funeral homes try to convince you that you need a special cremation casket, but that's bogus. Most places use a cardboard box for cremation.
2003-02-21 02:24:08 PM  
And we get to hear one last rendition of Jerry Lee Lewis singing:

2003-02-21 02:24:54 PM  
People are getting fat

img.fark.netView Full Size
2003-02-21 02:25:56 PM  
I think everyone should be cremated, even the living. Being buried in the ground is such a barbaric ritual. It's wasteful, disgusting, and just plain unnatural. And when you're dead you should be able to choose if you want cremation or burial.
2003-02-21 02:27:02 PM  
Nick, I think that letting the dead choose their method of disposal is just opening up a can of worms...
2003-02-21 02:27:21 PM  
Burial isn't that disgusting, maybe a little macabre. Mother nature's been leaving her remains right out in the open!
2003-02-21 02:27:51 PM  
Would this have any relationship to the White Castle story?

I think some places also offer rental coffins

Yep - got a mahogany one for my dad and cremated him in a cardboard one. We used the DIY at home kit to save some money.
2003-02-21 02:28:54 PM  

Night Shift? We'll feed the tunas mayonaise.
2003-02-21 02:30:24 PM  
In honor of NickBurns stupid troll:

I think being either buried or cremated is wasteful, there are plenty of hungry cats and dogs in the humane society, why should all that protein go to waste?
2003-02-21 02:30:29 PM  
As long as, when they cremate the bodies, the thick smoke gets washed into the grounds of a local cemetary. Cause if that happened, zombies might come after me while I work in a medical supply warehouse down the road.
2003-02-21 02:30:50 PM  
Hell, We should have our dearly departed stuffed.

Prop'em in the back seat of your car, and viola! Instant car-pool!
2003-02-21 02:30:57 PM  
Er, um... okay... (just nodding and smiling and pretending to understand)
2003-02-21 02:31:33 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Udo Stockholm Sweden is not the UK
2003-02-21 02:36:01 PM  
I am still stuck on the silicon implants; imagine supercomputer boobies! They probably make those bionic sounds, though.
2003-02-21 02:37:44 PM  
Just remember to stick'em with a fork before you put them in the oven.
2003-02-21 02:38:12 PM  
Where's that Reader's Digest joke I typed up last week? Ah, here it is..

"A tough old cowboy told his grandson that the secret to long life was sprinkling a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously and, sure enough, lived to the ripe old age of 93. When he died, he left behind 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium."
2003-02-21 02:44:21 PM  
not with a bang, but a whimper...
2003-02-21 02:50:10 PM  
I need to know
did the michael jackson program with the english
interviewer get played over there in the US?
2003-02-21 02:50:27 PM  
Hmmm. Exploding boobies are no fun, unless they are exploding out of a tightly-buttoned blouse.
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