bolshoyjoe: I live less than a mile from BYU's main campus, but have never been Mormon. I have some LDS friends who told me that they actually do a thing called "soaking," which is basically sticking the peen into the vagina and not going with the motion of the ocean, but rather just sitting there (like the Great Salt Lake) until it gets soft.

Dude, that sounds kinda kinky. Wonder if my gf would want to try it out.

Jakevol2: hmmm. It actually seems rather responsible to me. I am not a fan of Mormonism but I can't find anything nefarious about what you have provided me.

I'm not a fan of trying to set 18 year olds up for marriage & kids. It's disturbing.

***
An unintentional encounter with pornography may not require confession to your bishop. However, if you seek out pornography intentionally or if you repeatedly indulge in it or rationalize its use, you should discuss the matter with your bishop.

Your bishop cares about your spiritual welfare. He wants to help you. You may feel reluctant to disclose your problem with pornography to him. You may feel embarrassed or unsure of what to expect. Do not allow your fears to deprive you of the blessings of repentance. Through the Spirit, your bishop can understand your concerns, and he will help you repent. He can become a great ally.

Be honest with your bishop. Do not hide or minimize your sin. Your honesty will help him understand the extent and seriousness of your problem.
***

And this ladies and gentlemen is a damn near perfect example of what is wrong with today's society. Taken directly from the "besafe.byu.edu" website. It's good for laughs.

This type of school should be banned.

APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/n8bjst
(copy and paste)

chocolatepuke: Jakevol2: hmmm. It actually seems rather responsible to me. I am not a fan of Mormonism but I can't find anything nefarious about what you have provided me.

I'm not a fan of trying to set 18 year olds up for marriage & kids. It's disturbing.

All I saw it say was that if you are preparing to get married they offer classes that deal with the issues involved. No where does it say that now that you are a BYU student you are now required to get married. I doubt if BYU is the only university that does this either. I would be happy to rip on the Mormons all day with you but I don't think this is prime target issue.

DblDad: The health center has a beard waiver.

I'm going to walk around saying "beard waiver" all day.

what the hell is that exactly about? Is it so you CAN grow a beard or is it so you don't HAVE to grow a beard??? And what the hell does it matter either way?

what the hell is that exactly about? Is it so you CAN grow a beard or is it so you don't HAVE to grow a beard??? And what the hell does it matter either way?

I'm pretty sure its so you CAN grow a beard. A friend of mine's a student there, tells me he's required to shave every day, and wouldn't be able to use any university services if he lets it go too long.

CrispFlows: what_now: CrispFlows: It's great education on the cheap.

No. Not it's not. It CAN'T be a great education if ideas are blocked. Look, you may calculus, electrical engineering, and biology English literature, but college is a hell of a lot more than what you learn in the classroom.

The academic concepts are not blocked and you can do whatever you want off campus as long as the administration doesn't find out...

You know what's the usual route for most people that live here? First, they attend UVU (previously known as UVSC) where there is little rules about student conduct and after they get their associates, then the students apply to BYU to finish up the bachelors, masters and PHD's.

/P.S. There IS a sexuality section at their library. It amused me when I found out. Then again, you have to request permission to access it.


The part I find interesting with this is where it says "you can do whatever you want off campus as long as the administration doesn't find out"

This just reminds me why I was happy to leave UT. In my experiance (it may not be the same for all) if you weren't Mormon, they didn't welcome you. Many a time a missionary came to my house, in a mexican neighboorhood (one of the few) to try to convert those same mexicans. I found their reaction interesting when they relized that I, a white woman, had married a Mexican, and was 8 months pregnant by said Mexican. I guess it was ok to convert them, as long as they "married their own kind".

On the other note, I did meet some very nice Mormons, however, they usually didn't adhere strictly to what they church held, and would probably never be eligable to marry in the temple. Key word "usually"

DSan: This type of school should be banned.

Agreed, although I can't think of a way that would be legal.

The LDS church itself needs a theological enema. Seriously.

I read the Book of Mormon, and it reads like one person made up crap and tried to make it sound like the King James Bible, but just wasn't very good at writing. Hell I could do a better job given a little time and research, and I don't think I can write for beans.

I tend respect other's beliefs, so I didn't have the heart to hand those Mormon dudes their butts, theologically speaking... so I just told them (politely) to p*ss off and don't waste their time with me.

Jakevol2:
All I saw it say was that if you are preparing to get married they offer classes that deal with the issues involved. No where does it say that now that you are a BYU student you are now required to get married. I doubt if BYU is the only university that does this either. I would be happy to rip on the Mormons all day with you but I don't think this is prime target issue.

It's a bigger issue to me than beard waivers and porn. I didn't say that they required you to get married, but if you look around the site it appears that there is a strong emphasis on it. If I am not mistaken, the average person at BYU gets married at 21. Again, that doesn't sit well with me.

deevo: Epsilon:
As I said, I'm not a religious guy, and I don't know about the Bible, but that shiat illustrates why I don't adhere to it.

You obviously don't know shiat about Mormons, either, because they don't know about the Bible or adhere to it, either.

Meh. I'd give it a 4/10.

CrispFlows: Keep in mind, this is a university where Cheney was welcomed when the country reviles him.

Source (new window)

Hmm...not necessarily.

Link (new window)

Second source--the alternative commencement (new window)

HolyoaK: But, if you can manage to get a party with just ONE byu girl in attendance, do whatever you can to take her home.

Motherfarking THIS. Trust me, there's no pussy like mormon pussy.

Ixly: Dum dum dum dum dum!

Came here to say this.

I'm currently reading this thread from BYU housing, so getting a kick...

It's not as great here, or as bad here, as anyone says. It sure as hell isn't Poland 1940, which is what some of you seem to think.

And yes, some of us read Fark.

To me, magical underwear is just putting their toe over the line from religion to cult. And I have a few LDS friends too (mostly jack mormon tho).

Bring'em young!

/just heard that one and thought I'd share

zvoidx: Play Brigham Young off, Keyboard Cat

My first thought was they can finally see Keyboard Cat.

So, if I openly drank tea/coffee on campus, like in class or at the cafeteria, could I be "in trouble" (expelled or suffer any sort of disciplinary action)?

what_now: Why would ANYONE go to a college that restricted ideas?

- Because you're Mormon
- Because you want to be Mormon
- Because it's cheap, and you don't have a problem with Mormons
- Because you don't drink, nor smoke, aren't big into partying and are looking to meet other people that have similar standards.

Or, in my case, because I was 17, didn't quite realize my parents were out to lunch yet, and went as an attempt to find faith.

Yeah, it didn't work. There are a few things I like better about the Mormon church than most others, but there was simply too much I could not reconcile. I also couldn't manage the whole "suspension of disbelief" thing.

/ Officially left the Mormon church last Sunday
// Never was truly a member in the first place

did you hear about the man-eating tiger that got loose on the BYU campus?

it starved to death...

/17 years spent in Utah
//never going back

Jakevol2:
what the hell is that exactly about? Is it so you CAN grow a beard or is it so you don't HAVE to grow a beard??? And what the hell does it matter either way?

Men at BYU are expected to be clean-shaven. A beard waiver is issued in cases of medical considerations.

The first year I was there, the hot water pipes broke in my building. Shaving, with perfume allergies, sensitive skin, and frigid water - it was not fun. Lots of blood was involved.

Coriantumr: I'm currently reading this thread from BYU housing, so getting a kick...

It's not as great here, or as bad here, as anyone says. It sure as hell isn't Poland 1940, which is what some of you seem to think.

And yes, some of us read Fark.

No, it's really not that bad.

It is the only school I attended where they started the Computer Science class off with prayer, but that's really not the end of the world.

If you are Mormon, they really do try to get you out and active. My RA would "remind" me on Sunday of the need to go to church. The bishopric of the local ward (a small group of students) also encouraged me to date.

For people who have those standards, it is a great place to meet up, and find someone to share their lives (which they consider to be eternal) with.

For someone who doesn't drink, smoke, sleep around, and is deeply religious - finding a spouse can be quite difficult. Sometimes the local Mormon ward has only a few people in it. Because the church officially doesn't believe in "try before you buy", and believes in avoiding pornographic materials and masturbation - there is a strong drive (biological and religious) to marry at a younger age.

To be fair, BYU's Law and Business schools are pretty good, and I hear their CS department is getting better.

I don't know that it being "cheap" is a huge draw, especially for people who don't want to put up with all the crap. The University of Utah is only a few hundred bucks per semester more (and, when you take into account housing, it may be a wash..) and is comparable in most areas, better in some, and not quite as good in others. Plus you can grow a beard, wear whatever you want, and not have to give up so much personal freedom.

Gee, if they can liberate Brigham Young, maybe they can liberate Iran. Who? The omnipresent "they".

Darkraven: So, if I openly drank tea/coffee on campus, like in class or at the cafeteria, could I be "in trouble" (expelled or suffer any sort of disciplinary action)?

Short answer: Yes.

BYU students commit to refrain from smoking, chewing tobacco, and from drinking or using tea, coffee, or other harmful substances.

That is both on and off campus.

They certainly wouldn't expel on a first offense, but if you walked around campus with coffee, it's likely you would end up talking to the Honor Code department.

Flagrant, repeated violations would be acted upon.

The code includes provisions against alcohol, tobacco and caffeine use, among other things.

No sex, no cigarettes, no alcohol, and no coffee?

I would go mental within minutes. Those aren't luxuries. They are all necessities.

Gordon Bennett: I would go mental within minutes. Those aren't luxuries. They are all necessities.

You'd be surprised. When you think of what you spend on alcohol, cigarettes, and coffee over a lifetime - that's a ton of money.

For me, I'd rather spend it on other things.

I've never done any of them, and have no real desire to start.

/ Not Mormon, nor pretending to be one

Gordon Bennett: I would go mental within minutes. Those aren't luxuries. They are all necessities.

If you take my smokes or my caffeine - I will kill you. It's not like a har har har I'll kill you - more like a I'll stab you in the face with an icicle and then melt the evidence

I was smoking at BYU one time and when I saw the Honor Patrol wandering over I tossed it away thinking they were going to tell me to put it out.

Instead, they told me since I had a scraggly beard/longish hair that I needed to leave the campus if I wasn't a student or shave if I was a student.

And buk110, I almost did have a fit when I didn't see any caffeinated Coke's in the vending machines.

Kathrin: Gordon Bennett: I would go mental within minutes. Those aren't luxuries. They are all necessities.

You'd be surprised. When you think of what you spend on alcohol, cigarettes, and coffee over a lifetime - that's a ton of money.

For me, I'd rather spend it on other things.

I've never done any of them, and have no real desire to start.

/ Not Mormon, nor pretending to be one

Then you really don't have a dog in that fight.

I love 'doing' coffee and tea, harmful as they are.

UNC_Samurai: Now get your bar laws in order.

Actually, the private club law has been repealed, effective next month. Woo hoo! Now if they would just sell real beer in the grocery store, everything would be great.

WhiteAndNerdy: UNC_Samurai: Now get your bar laws in order.

Actually, the private club law has been repealed, effective next month. Woo hoo! Now if they would just sell real beer in the grocery store, everything would be great.

Too bad Obama stole one of the few sensible, non-crazy politicians we've ever had.

Kathrin: For people who have those standards, it is a great place to meet up, and find someone to share their lives (which they consider to be eternal) with.

For someone who doesn't drink, smoke, sleep around, and is deeply religious - finding a spouse can be quite difficult.

Yep. BYU is a completely foreign concept to most Farkers. I've had many friends go there. And I've spent some time there doing week long academic activities. Almost all students genuinely want to be in that environment. They love it. They flourish in it. It's one of the very few places in the world where almost everyone around prides themselves in having their high moral standards. Every year, there's a survey about which college is the most "Stone Cold Sober", and BYU students cheer that they've kept the #1 ranking. To them, the whole environment is freedom, because they see it as a little slice of heaven (there's no drinking, smoking, or promiscuity in heaven either, at least in the Mormon heaven).

To each their own, I guess.

Kathrin: You'd be surprised. When you think of what you spend on alcohol, cigarettes, and coffee over a lifetime - that's a ton of money.

For me, I'd rather spend it on other things.

That's fine. You should find and indulge in your own tastes and live your life in a way that suits you.

Me, I consider all of that to be money well spent. You know what happens to me when I go too long without coffee? I start getting all Communist all of a sudden. You wouldn't want that, now would you?

I used to be a Mormon, so I am getting a kick out of these replies...

/no seriously, I resigned from the LDS church on 1/9/2009.
//best decision EVAR.
///now I can drink booze
////and do lots of slashes

CrispFlows: Kliffoth: Why ban anything when every student there is a spy for the church? They'll just get turned in by their roomate if they're looking at something they're not supposed to. The Mormons must be the most faithless of religious followers.

How can you claim to have any faith when you are never alone and always being watched to make sure you don't 'screw up'? Faith untested is nothing but bullshiat posturing.


Actually, usually the roomie spies first in order to blackmail that the roommate may too do what he wishes - He would be an idiot to report the incident to the authorities. I got adept at this.

Reminds me of an old joke...

How do you make sure your mormon friend doesn't drink all your beer?

Invite another mormon :D

Jews don't recognise Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants don't recognise the supremacy of the Pope.
Mormans don't recognise each other in strip clubs.

DSan: ***
An unintentional encounter with pornography may not require confession to your bishop. However, if you seek out pornography intentionally or if you repeatedly indulge in it or rationalize its use, you should discuss the matter with your bishop.

Your bishop cares about your spiritual welfare. He wants to help you. You may feel reluctant to disclose your problem with pornography to him. You may feel embarrassed or unsure of what to expect. Do not allow your fears to deprive you of the blessings of repentance. Through the Spirit, your bishop can understand your concerns, and he will help you repent. He can become a great ally.

Be honest with your bishop. Do not hide or minimize your sin. Your honesty will help him understand the extent and seriousness of your problem.
***

I guess that means you're not supposed to polish your bishop?

You know, even if Jesus himself comes down and starts preforming miracles, I'll be the bastard trying to figure out how he's doing it.

//I have faith in one thing, the ability to better myself, and possibly others..

///Just not the patience.

Kathrin: Coriantumr: I'm currently reading this thread from BYU housing, so getting a kick...

It's not as great here, or as bad here, as anyone says. It sure as hell isn't Poland 1940, which is what some of you seem to think.

And yes, some of us read Fark.

No, it's really not that bad.

It is the only school I attended where they started the Computer Science class off with prayer, but that's really not the end of the world.

If you are Mormon, they really do try to get you out and active. My RA would "remind" me on Sunday of the need to go to church. The bishopric of the local ward (a small group of students) also encouraged me to date.

For people who have those standards, it is a great place to meet up, and find someone to share their lives (which they consider to be eternal) with.

For someone who doesn't drink, smoke, sleep around, and is deeply religious - finding a spouse can be quite difficult. Sometimes the local Mormon ward has only a few people in it. Because the church officially doesn't believe in "try before you buy", and believes in avoiding pornographic materials and masturbation - there is a strong drive (biological and religious) to marry at a younger age.

Think about his fark handle...

Who is Coriantumr?

/ Amusing one, dude.

Think about his fark handle...

Who is Coriantumr?

/ Amusing one, dude.

Heh. The name sounds cool, and only those "in the know" recognize it. Plus, I think "Kishkumen" was taken. :P

Oh, and we are freaking relieved that the ridiculous ban was lifted. Now I can finally send hilarious videos to my poor friends who are still living on campus.

I for one "do" tea all of the time. I freebase the stuff, man, I can't get enough. Direct injections are the best way. Such a great high. I tried coffee once but shiat messed me up bad.

Phouchg92373: I used to be a Mormon, so I am getting a kick out of these replies...

/no seriously, I resigned from the LDS church on 1/9/2009.
//best decision EVAR.
///now I can drink booze
////and do lots of slashes

Congrats! I'm a recovered Mormon as well! Stopped 14 or 15 years ago and haven't looked back.

what_now: No. Not it's not. It CAN'T be a great education if ideas are blocked. Look, you may calculus, electrical engineering, and biology English literature, but college is a hell of a lot more than what you learn in the classroom.

You think that other universities are a bastion of free ideas? Give me a farking break. I've worked in large public and small private schools. The one that was easily the most socially challenging one was a small private religious school I worked at briefly. There were so many people pushing boundaries there, that they actually had dialogue about social issues.

People in large schools with "open minds" all toe the line of compliance or progressive though. It's amazingly closed minded in terms of dialogue. If you disagree with anything, you are oppressive to someone somewhere, so most students go about their business and have a completely passive apathetic view of social issues.

It's easy to sit back and point fingers at BYU and not realize that many other schools do the same thing with their socially acceptable points of view.