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(New York Daily News)   Initial reports suggest determining the cause of Michael Jackson's death may take slightly longer than determining the winner of a Minnesota senatorial election   (nydailynews.com) divider line 48
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1363 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Jun 2009 at 10:03 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-06-27 10:07:57 AM  
i don't even care why he died, i'm just glad he's finally dead so he won't be farking anymore little kids.
and his music was awful.

someone had to say it.
 
2009-06-27 10:09:53 AM  
What is going on in Minnesota these days, anyway? I mean, Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ on a Cracker.jpg, you think they'd have it done by now.
 
2009-06-27 10:13:48 AM  
TheMadChaosopher: i don't even care why he died, i'm just glad he's finally dead so he won't be farking anymore little kids.
and his music was awful.


But he made Thriller, man. Thriller.
 
2009-06-27 10:33:13 AM  
Drugs.
 
2009-06-27 10:38:47 AM  
What, the GOP has a candidate trying to steal his death, too?
 
2009-06-27 10:39:40 AM  
?

We knew shortly after election day that Franken won. The rest has just been the GOP playing games through Coleman.
 
2009-06-27 10:53:02 AM  
So ordinary joes are easy to do autopsies on? Well, all plastic surgery aside.
 
2009-06-27 10:53:34 AM  
MJ put the roofies in the wrong sippy cup.
 
2009-06-27 10:59:22 AM  
Blathering Idjut: ?

We knew shortly after election day that Franken won. The rest has just been the GOP playing games through Coleman.


By shortly after election day you mean "January", right?
 
2009-06-27 10:59:26 AM  
Is it morally/ethically wrong for me to feel better about listening to his music now that he's gone? I always felt like I was supporting a bad guy, but now that he's gone, hell, I can enjoy it.
 
2009-06-27 11:05:19 AM  
Sue there are lawyers caliming Jacko's still alive?
 
2009-06-27 11:16:31 AM  
The anus is remarkable!
 
2009-06-27 11:20:41 AM  
CNN BREAKING NEWS!!! Michael Jackson autopsy reports states that it will take more time to determine the cause of death! Lets spend 45 minutes on this new development! We now go live to Dr Sanjay Gupta who has been standing in front of the hospital for the past 3 days to give you up to the minute reports!

I wonder if Dr Gupta regrets not taking Obama up on the offer for Surgeon General?
 
2009-06-27 11:23:53 AM  
ragekage: What is going on in Minnesota these days, anyway? I mean, Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ on a Cracker.jpg, you think they'd have it done by now.

Its in the Supreme Court of Minnesota's hands for the last few weeks. They are expected to give a decision any day now.

/the Chief Justice gave a speech on friday saying that when he signed up for the job he didn't expect to have to decide what a vote for the Lizard People meant
 
2009-06-27 11:25:24 AM  
Blathering Idjut: ?

We knew shortly after election day that Franken won. The rest has just been the GOP playing games through Coleman.


Ah no.... the final tally from the machine count showed Coleman ahead by a couple of hundred votes triggering a manual recount which resulted in Franken being a few hundred votes ahead.
 
2009-06-27 11:35:36 AM  
He was likely not involved in a murder, so it takes the normal backlog time of 4 to 6 weeks.

If he would have had a bullet wound in his body, the results would be back by Monday.
 
2009-06-27 11:42:18 AM  
I'm just tired of seeing people crying over this. People die everyday......are killed in action in Iraq; die horrible deaths of cancer/heart disease/etc, senselessly murdered. He was just a man who made a great album 25+ years ago, made millions of dollars, destroyed his own face with plastic surgery, and molested little boys. This is not that sad.
Please CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, please stop showing groups of people at their knees crying over this freak. It's not news. It's not the biggest event in history. It's man who died from prescription drug use (maybe; we'll see).
 
2009-06-27 11:42:40 AM  
They have probably ruled out the most obvious stuff (clots, infarction, bleeds) and need a little bit more info.

I suspect the Toxicology will be fast tracked (even if it means delaying a murder trial). 10-14 days will be my guess.

The question is not whether there are drugs on board, but how many and which ones.
 
2009-06-27 11:43:57 AM  
Larry Mahnken: By shortly after election day you mean "January", right?

Sure. Six months ago. GOP still obstructing via legal challenges

.bravian: Blathering Idjut: ?

Ah no.... the final tally from the machine count showed Coleman ahead by a couple of hundred votes triggering a manual recount which resulted in Franken being a few hundred votes ahead.


"Few hundred votes ahead" = won. At least in this country.
 
2009-06-27 11:47:59 AM  
There is no truth to the rumor that he was called the "King of Pop" because that is the sound his penis made when he pulled it out of a young boy's butt.
 
2009-06-27 12:19:54 PM  
The ghost of Heath Ledger strikes again!
 
2009-06-27 12:21:26 PM  
Food poisoning?



..heard he ate an 11 year old weiner.


/old and bad. Sorry
 
2009-06-27 12:23:29 PM  
jake3988: If he would have had a bullet wound in his body, the results would be back by Monday.

i21.photobucket.com
 
2009-06-27 12:25:31 PM  
TappingTheVein: TheMadChaosopher: i don't even care why he died, i'm just glad he's finally dead so he won't be farking anymore little kids.
and his music was awful.

But he made Thriller, man. Thriller.


This.

I think of that autopsy scene in Men in Black when they cut the guy open and it's a little alien behind his face. I'm sure it's been said, but, you know, bears repeating...
 
2009-06-27 12:25:43 PM  
Blathering Idjut: "Few hundred votes ahead" = won. At least in this country.

Franken was ahead after counting the initial votes. And again after counting selected discounted votes. And then again after a second round of counting previously discounted votes. So yes, by all measures Franken has won.

Early recount numbers still put Michael Jackson as "dead".
 
2009-06-27 12:29:23 PM  
Why does it take so long? On CSI Miami they have the autopsy completed before the second commercial break.
 
2009-06-27 12:40:36 PM  
jankyboy: Why does it take so long? On CSI Miami they have the autopsy completed before the second commercial break.

Ten bucks says they DO have the toxicology reports, but since this is MICHAEL FARKING JACKSON they need to keep him in the news as long as possible. The family is obviously in on this, and crossed the doc's palm with a little silver to make it seem that way.

/Probably.
//Think, how long does it take when you first start a job and they make you take a piss test?
 
2009-06-27 12:42:34 PM  
beerbaron: Drugs.

Drugs: they're a helluva drug!
 
2009-06-27 02:11:56 PM  
A mincing, boy hungry pedophile died. Time to move on people.
 
2009-06-27 02:21:55 PM  
jankyboy: Why does it take so long? On CSI Miami they have the autopsy completed before the second commercial break.

Because the markers for different drugs take time to show up?

Or because California is broke and no one is buying commercials to make it go faster?
 
2009-06-27 02:41:43 PM  
Juniper Jupiter: jankyboy: Why does it take so long? On CSI Miami they have the autopsy completed before the second commercial break.

Ten bucks says they DO have the toxicology reports, but since this is MICHAEL FARKING JACKSON they need to keep him in the news as long as possible. The family is obviously in on this, and crossed the doc's palm with a little silver to make it seem that way.

/Probably.
//Think, how long does it take when you first start a job and they make you take a piss test?


Never?
 
2009-06-27 02:43:33 PM  
The older the corpse, the harder. Since Michael died over 20 years ago in that Pepsi commercial accident and it's his reanimated corpse that's been walking around all these years, it's gonna be a tough one.
 
2009-06-27 02:55:16 PM  
Yahell is reporting with clicky pop goodness (grain of salt, etc., as there's extensive quoting from a so called insider) that Janet has moving vans around his house and there are things being taken from his house. The guy hasn't even been dead what, 72 hours? Shameless.
 
2009-06-27 03:15:44 PM  
raptusregaliter: The guy hasn't even been dead what, 72 hour

Hmmm wonder if any local Farker might drive over and take pics of said vans. Would be cool in its own way.
 
2009-06-27 03:25:28 PM  
raptusregaliter: Yahell is reporting with clicky pop goodness (grain of salt, etc., as there's extensive quoting from a so called insider) that Janet has moving vans around his house and there are things being taken from his house. The guy hasn't even been dead what, 72 hours? Shameless.

They're grabbing the good stuff before the creditors grab everything to cover his massive debts?
 
2009-06-27 04:14:25 PM  
I heard they kept going between two possible causes of death:

1) Choking on an 11 year old weener.
2) Allergic reaction to 12 year old nuts.


/Do we really have to drag that Franken/Coleman shiat into this? Hell, at this point the only people Minnesota hasn't elected to office by statewide vote would be circus clowns.
 
2009-06-27 04:36:08 PM  
I'm thinking the news will be very anti-climactic when it comes out.

Everybody now knows that he was taking Demerol and Oxycontin. It might not have been an overdose, but 50 year-old hearts commonly go into failure, even without the respiratory suppression brought on by the drugs.
 
2009-06-27 04:51:52 PM  
raptusregaliter: Yahell is reporting with clicky pop goodness (grain of salt, etc., as there's extensive quoting from a so called insider) that Janet has moving vans around his house and there are things being taken from his house. The guy hasn't even been dead what, 72 hours? Shameless.

Maybe taking the kids' things out?
Along with anything valuable, of course.
 
2009-06-27 04:53:27 PM  
My tribute to MJ was to play Weird Al's Eat It really loud at work. Some people were NOT amused by my antics.
 
2009-06-27 05:20:50 PM  
I don't give a furry rat's ass how he died - he is dead and that's what counts!! Pedo perv cork sucker!!!
 
2009-06-27 05:25:48 PM  
TheMadChaosopher: i don't even care why he died, i'm just glad he's finally dead so he won't be farking anymore little kids.
and his music was awful.

someone had to say it.


Here's something to chew on. I was listening to Kevin James (the radio host and attorney, not the comedian) the other night reflecting on his days representing Jackson during the first molestation accusation. James was saying that he was convinced Jackson was 100% innocent of both the first and the second accusation. (I don't think he represented Jackson during the second one, though.)

What's interesting is that James is not the kind of person you typically think of when you think of defense attorneys who defend anyone regardless of innocence. He's a conservative, law-and-order, kick-out-all-the-illegal-aliens type. He could be lying to protect his reputation, but even if he were ashamed of defending Jackson, I don't think he would talk about it publicly.
 
2009-06-27 05:27:07 PM  
The CIA did it.
 
2009-06-27 06:22:57 PM  
Juniper Jupiter:
//Think, how long does it take when you first start a job and they make you take a piss test?


10 Panel is 2-4 days. 5 panel as quick as 15 minutes. I guarantee the test for MJ is more than a 10 panel.
 
2009-06-27 09:40:51 PM  
I had heard he died from an allergic reaction. Peanut allergies are some of the most dangerous types of allergies.

He just had a bad reaction to some 12 year old nuts.

/I deserve to be mocked for that
 
2009-06-28 12:00:27 AM  
you deserve to be mocked for that LATENESS BRA
 
2009-06-28 12:03:16 AM  
10 internet dollars say that his family wants the second autopsy so that when his 1st autopsy says he died from drugs, the second can say something like cardiac arrest.

Creating ambiguity was Michael Jackson's finest performance.
 
2009-06-28 11:16:50 AM  
Britney Spear's Speculum: 10 internet dollars say that his family wants the second autopsy so that when his 1st autopsy says he died from drugs, the second can say something like cardiac arrest.

Creating ambiguity was Michael Jackson's finest performance.


The first will say cardiac arrest. It will also show boatloads of drugs were in his system and that caused the cardiac arrest. The real wild card is the stories, from six months ago, that he had a rare lung condition that would necessitate a transplant but that he was too weak to have one.

/6 months and one day after a "six months to live" story
 
2009-06-28 01:41:45 PM  
Well we know we can add months to the timeline because the Rev. Jesse Mediawhore and his brother, the Rev. Al Mediawhore, are involved. And any white people in the coroner's office will be afraid to release anything other than "God called him to heaven to be his second son" as the cause of death.
 
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