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(Daily Mail)   Mother of kid who police refers to as "one-boy wave of terror" says he just got a bit of "Oppositional Defiant Disorder"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 249
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16221 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2009 at 6:14 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-06-25 08:02:57 AM
GROSS!

Opening up a page to a big picture of ugly, stupid people is no way to start a day.
 
2009-06-25 08:03:41 AM
So we have yet another 'disorder' to describe 'being young'? Great, just what we need, another excuse why your little snowflakes cannot be held responsible for their actions.
 
2009-06-25 08:06:56 AM
StaleCoffee:
I tried that with my oldest. Worked about as well as a lead boat with a hole in the bottom.

Got fed up and smacked him on the ass after years of consistently failing with these methods. Not hard, not hurt, but he was damned pissed and humiliated. Then after 3 minutes he talked to me, apologized and tried to avoid the tantruming. Don't have to swat him anymore. Boy will communicate with me, and understands I am the parent and in charge, even if I am his buddy.

His younger brother, that doesn't work. Of all things, time outs work. /shrug

Different things for different kids. I wholly advocate alternatives to corporal punishment but in some cases it's just not going to work. What works for your kid doesn't mean it's going to work for another, and it doesn't make you a better parent than someone who has a rougher time keeping their kid disciplined.

Kid from TFA needs to be shipped off to a delinquency facility. Doesn't matter if he does have a legitimate disorder, once he became a danger to others it's no longer reasonable to go soft.


This. Sensible post.
 
2009-06-25 08:07:52 AM
nopokerface: StaleCoffee: Got fed up and smacked him on the ass

OMG! You inflicted a beating! You should be in jail, and your kid is plotting your demise at this very moment!


Honestly I don't think it was the best approach to take and I still don't really support spanking. I'm saying in some cases you don't know what else to do, and it doesn't make you some kind of troglodyte throwback of a parent because the superdads of fark can use the Force and have a jedi mind trick work on their toddlers.
 
2009-06-25 08:08:23 AM
FTFA- "even his mother refers to him as the 'Satan child'"

That is some good parenting right there. I bet that just fills him to the brim with confidence.

/Sucks to your ASBO!
 
2009-06-25 08:08:32 AM
amanogowa: So we have yet another 'disorder' to describe 'being young'? Great, just what we need, another excuse why your little snowflakes cannot be held responsible for their actions.

Yeah mom may be trying to pull some phony shiat but that doesn't mean that everybody is buying it. Matter of fact i would guess that the vast majority of people don't buy it and would hold the kid responsible for his actions and not give him a free pass.
 
2009-06-25 08:10:24 AM
One more thing: If you decide to beat your kids (I'm not judging anyone here), be careful when they get to be adults. My 18-year-old son over 6' and athletic, and frankly, if he wanted to, could probably kill me - slowly and painfully. Glad now I didn't beat him when he was a kid, and that we have such a good relationship. Just sayin' today's thrashed toddlers are tomorrow's incredible hulks. Sleep well, everyone.
 
2009-06-25 08:11:17 AM
Not sure I get this 'smack / don't smack' debate... they're your kids. If you think a smack is needed, do it. If you think that other things will work, do them.

I'm open to smacking my kids if/when I have them. But that's with the goal of never having to; try other things first.

Kids aren't adults, and you cannot reason with them. If a toddler is about to shove a fork into a socket, I cannot say 'no, you could die painfully if you do that'. The kid just wont understand.

This is much the same as primary school kids not being able to see other peoples point of view. They've not reached that stage of development yet. If I say 'don't throw rocks at the neighbors window', I know his reasons for obeying wont be because it's someone's property.. it'll be because I'll discipline him (in whatever way is suitable). And yes; if after I've grounded, taken away his pocket money, and removed his possessions, he's still a shiat-bag, I'll be ready with something he'll really remember.
 
2009-06-25 08:13:08 AM
StaleCoffee: I still don't really support spanking

Nor do I. But, there are situations (like yours) where nothing else works. As I said earlier, each of my daughters have been spanked once in their lives. Never needed to do it again. They were not hurt in the process. The kids of the super parents with the laissez faire discipline styles are a real pleasure to be around, and not a bad influence on the behavior of my kids at all. Plus, Fark is a great place to get advice on how to do something from people who have never done it, or are doing it very unsuccessfully.

/cheers to you.
 
2009-06-25 08:14:29 AM
amanogowa: So we have yet another 'disorder' to describe 'being young'? Great, just what we need, another excuse why your little snowflakes cannot be held responsible for their actions.

oh rly?

Setting fires and the other shiat this div does is not something normal "young" people do my friend. This fella is leagues beyond being normal.

Thanks for the comment though.
 
2009-06-25 08:17:00 AM
StaleCoffee: Kid from TFA needs to be shipped off to a delinquency facility. Doesn't matter if he does have a legitimate disorder, once he became a danger to others it's no longer reasonable to go soft.

There comes a point when even if the parent finally decides to become responsible, it's too late. I think this kid's fate is sealed and he needs to be removed from society before he kills someone.
 
2009-06-25 08:18:11 AM
Maus III: a professional in psychology

img1.fark.net

'Sociopath' isn't a recognised diagnosis, plus you have absolutely no idea of his emotional responses.
 
2009-06-25 08:22:01 AM
Pathman: Not that I don't appreciate the parenting skillz of a man who gives his girlfriend's transgendered child an "ass whoopin" for "getting into his stuff"

I see the disconnect here, you are retarded. Thanks for playing.
 
2009-06-25 08:22:18 AM
i36.photobucket.com
 
2009-06-25 08:23:54 AM
I'm tired of all these so called disorders being used as a feeble excuse for shiatty parenting and out of control kids. If the kids are a menace to society, they should be isolated and dealt with appropriately.
There was a girl in my daughters preschool that would randomly bite other children. When I requested that she be kept away from my daughter, her mother told me I lacked compassion for her issues.
Yeah!
 
2009-06-25 08:24:58 AM
"Causes are unknown, but experts believe biological, psychological and social factors might have a role. "

This is all nonsense. Since when did it become acceptable to rename "being a selfish, criminal, asshat" as a syndrome and then treat it like a disease? It's not a disease, it's a kid being out of control.

A turd by any other name would smell as shiatty. Stop making excuses and sort the gobshiate out...

www.britfilms.tv
 
2009-06-25 08:25:09 AM
If this were my kid I'd have have him committed somewhere by this point. You can't have him hurting others and it looks like he can't tell the difference between right and wrong. I'd have exhausted every avenue for his treatment and spent every dollar I had on doctors and such to fix him. Sounds like his mother has been sitting on her arse waiting for someone else to fix her problem.
 
2009-06-25 08:25:36 AM
Still no word on "Political Reality Defiant Disorder" which has taken, is taking and will take place in all presidential terms without exception since the days of George Washington
 
2009-06-25 08:25:54 AM
When my cat acts up I pin it on the ground (or sometimes the wall, depends how pissed I am) and stare into its eyes until it looks away.

Should I not do that to my kid?
 
2009-06-25 08:27:58 AM
My brother and Mom constantly locked horns while my Dad and I just sort of sat back and /facepalmed the whole time. We were on a long trip and she threw one of his Game Gear games out the window because he wouldn't shut up.

/he shut up when she grabbed another game
//some lucky kid in South Dakota got a free G-Lock
 
2009-06-25 08:28:56 AM
hockeychick: If this were my kid I'd have have him committed somewhere by this point. You can't have him hurting others and it looks like he can't tell the difference between right and wrong. I'd have exhausted every avenue for his treatment and spent every dollar I had on doctors and such to fix him. Sounds like his mother has been sitting on her arse waiting for someone else to fix her problem.

But this wouldn't be your kid. This woman probably didn't pop the kid out in his present demonic form. She's spent years making him unrecoverable.
 
2009-06-25 08:32:04 AM
aagrajag: But this wouldn't be your kid. This woman probably didn't pop the kid out in his present demonic form. She's spent years making him unrecoverable.

Some kids just get born that way - what may have worked with the other several kids may have no effect on this one, and/or it could have semi-serious brain chemistry issues.

Sometimes shiat just happens. He'll be old enough for the military soon enough.
 
2009-06-25 08:33:12 AM
aagrajag: hockeychick: If this were my kid I'd have have him committed somewhere by this point. You can't have him hurting others and it looks like he can't tell the difference between right and wrong. I'd have exhausted every avenue for his treatment and spent every dollar I had on doctors and such to fix him. Sounds like his mother has been sitting on her arse waiting for someone else to fix her problem.

But this wouldn't be your kid. This woman probably didn't pop the kid out in his present demonic form. She's spent years making him unrecoverable.


That's probably true. I'm guessing she pretty much ignored him because her stories were on and this is his sick way of getting her attention.
 
2009-06-25 08:33:45 AM
cretinbob: from the DSM IV:

Diagnostic criteria

1. A pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least 6 months, during which four (or more) of the following are present:
Note: Consider a criterion met only if the behavior occurs more frequently than is typically observed in individuals of comparable age and developmental level.
a)often loses temper
b)often argues with adults
c)often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
d)often deliberately annoys people
e)often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
f)is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
g)is often angry and resentful
h)is often spiteful or vindictive
2)The disturbance in behavior causes clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.
3)The behaviors do not occur exclusively during the course of a Psychotic or Mood disorder.
4)Criteria are not met for Conduct Disorder, and, if the individual is age 18 years or older, criteria are not met for Antisocial personality disorder.


In other words, the average Farker. (new window)fark you, asshole. You're not my dad. I don't have to listen to your shiat.
 
2009-06-25 08:34:19 AM
Where's dad?

/oh, that's right
//not needed
 
2009-06-25 08:34:40 AM
Hagbardr: In other words, the average Farker. (new window)fark you, asshole. You're not my dad. I don't have to listen to your shiat.

You know what?

I don't have to close my HTML tags properly either. Screw that shiat.
 
2009-06-25 08:36:20 AM
ElPresidente: One more thing: If you decide to beat your kids (I'm not judging anyone here), be careful when they get to be adults. My 18-year-old son over 6' and athletic, and frankly, if he wanted to, could probably kill me - slowly and painfully. Glad now I didn't beat him when he was a kid, and that we have such a good relationship. Just sayin' today's thrashed toddlers are tomorrow's incredible hulks. Sleep well, everyone.

And it goes way beyond hitting the kid.

You better be careful about everything you do to your kid cause he is not going to be under your thumb all his life.

If you do not treat your kid with complete love and respect forget about having a decent relationship with him.

And you might find yourself in a situation where you really need your kid at some point
 
2009-06-25 08:38:02 AM
Bob16: You better be careful about everything you do to your kid cause he is not going to be under your thumb all his life.

He is if you break his farking legs.
 
2009-06-25 08:39:12 AM
Obviously Desperate for Discipline.
 
2009-06-25 08:43:28 AM
There is clinical evidence that proves that beating the living piss out of people with this disorder is curative.
 
2009-06-25 08:45:59 AM
aagrajag: But this wouldn't be your kid. This woman probably didn't pop the kid out in his present demonic form. She's spent years making him unrecoverable.

I've got a feeling this kid can be 'cured' with the right technique. That it hasn't been found yet is the real issue. There was no comment in the article on whether the mother does beat the brat senseless... most likely because they cannot print such things.

The reality is that kids/people like this are born with some predispositions, and they are exacerbated by the events in their lives (such as parental discipline).

Bob16: If you do not treat your kid with complete love and respect forget about having a decent relationship with him.

Most people would fail on this complete love and respect. It's a big ask; something largely abstract in its own right. Conceptually, you're right, but in reality, it's not a solution to producing decent citizens; only a method of having a good relationship with those who are already well-natured.
 
2009-06-25 08:56:48 AM
B4LE: GCU-Arbitrary: ElPresidente: Beating is not always the answer. I have a much more obvious way - stop rewarding bad behaviour, and let them punish themselves. Example:

My son tried his first temper tantrum at age three. Wouldn't take his nap, even though he was exhausted. My wife tried to get him to do it, but he screamed and screamed until they were both angry and upset. She came downstairs, and upstairs I went to take over.

Son: SCREAM!!!

Me: OK, you have a choice. You can either take a nap, or this toy (picking up one at random, but in reality one that should have been thrown away anyway) goes into the trash can forever. It's all your choice. What will it be?

Son: SCREAM!!!

Me: OK. (Toy goes into bin.) That's your choice!

Son: DOUBLE SCREAM!!!

Me: Don't yell at me, that was your choice. OK, now you have another choice. You can either take a nap, or another toy goes into the trash can forever. It's your choice. What will it be?

Son: SCREAM!!!

Me: OK. (Another toy goes into bin.) That's your choice!

Son: TRIPLE SCREAM!!!

Me: Like I said, it was your choice. OK, you have another choice. You can either take a nap, or yet another toy goes into the trash can forever. It's your choice. What will it be?

Son goes to sleep for two hours, never repeats episode again. And yes, the toys did get thrown away forever. But he learned that his actions, both good and bad, had consequences. That's what this brat needed from the start.


This. Worked just fine on me as a kid, works like a charm on my kids as well. Deleting favourite shows from the DVR is very effective as well, and is slightly more cost-efficient.

Doesn't take the loss of too many favourite toys/shows before they start to behave.

Something like this happened to my older brother when he was 8 and I was 4. He treated our mother crappy for days, just out of control screaming and yelling, backtalk, and namecalling.

My father stripped the whole room down to nothing. Took virtually EVERYTHING. Left his bed, a sheet, a pillow, and a blanket. Five pairs of jeans, t-shirts, socks, underwear. One book: The Call of The Wild. My father said, "You keep this crap up, I'm going to put you where Buck is now." Then he said, "If you're good for a month, you can have something back."

A month later, my father gave him back a blue rubber ball.

Thirty five years later, my brother said it was the longest three years of his life trying to earn that useless crap back.


Who was Buck?

My story: Older brother , "the middle child", was an out of control twat. At one point he was handcuffed to his bed by our father who borrowed the cuffs from a neighbor (retired sheriff).
Didn't help, he continued to be a jerk. Now in adulthood, it is only sporadically that he acts out.
 
2009-06-25 08:59:11 AM
Reincarnate: Bob16: If you do not treat your kid with complete love and respect forget about having a decent relationship with him.

Most people would fail on this complete love and respect. It's a big ask; something largely abstract in its own right. Conceptually, you're right, but in reality, it's not a solution to producing decent citizens; only a method of having a good relationship with those who are already well-natured.


Maybe most people would but i have seen a lot of kids raised like that. It's not rare. I'm not one of those people that claims that if one person achieved something then that means everyone can do the same. That kind of thinking is nuts.

But i think it's possible for more people to do it
 
2009-06-25 08:59:44 AM
This is what happens when parents "talk" to their kids instead for DISCIPLINING THEM!
 
2009-06-25 09:00:19 AM
She's in luck! We have a cure for ODD here on Fark. I'll write the prescription - apply one foot to ass as needed.
 
2009-06-25 09:00:39 AM
ODD? What the hell?

I just read "Imp of the Perverse" by Edgar Allan Poe and I'll agree there's sometimes something in us that makes us act impulsively in the opposite direction of what we think we should do. However I'm not sure that qualifies as a real and ongoing personality disorder. (or a possessing imp, either).

Sometimes I think these ASBO kids need a good beating spanking to get them into line. Once that imp gets a grave beat-down on his ass, he won't be back for more.
 
2009-06-25 09:03:40 AM
Damn Farkers must be blind...

He tends to sleep for only two hours a night and has tablets to sedate him in the evening.

I'm all for calling someone a failure too, but two hours a night? That's not normal. Without the tablets, would he simply never sleep?
 
2009-06-25 09:04:06 AM
fatimcgee: This is what happens when parents "talk" to their kids instead for DISCIPLINING THEM!

Yeah where do people get off thinking that kids deserve to be talked to.
 
2009-06-25 09:04:14 AM
Nothing a smacked arse wouldn't cure.

Parents like this make me sick, blaming everyone else, labelling with this years trendy behaviour disorder (will the government pay disability on ODD like they do with ADD?) and take some responsibility for once for your lack of parental discipline.

Reward good behaviour and punish the bad, it's not rocket science.

Rant off.
 
2009-06-25 09:06:08 AM
Newt13: Who was Buck?

Abused dog in the book.
 
2009-06-25 09:06:18 AM
tuxedobob: Damn Farkers must be blind...

He tends to sleep for only two hours a night and has tablets to sedate him in the evening.

I'm all for calling someone a failure too, but two hours a night? That's not normal. Without the tablets, would he simply never sleep?


Maybe he's trading his sedation tablets for meth.
 
2009-06-25 09:08:56 AM
Ishkur: Someone gonna get a hurt real bad.

Black kid: "Mu dad whupped my ass las night."
Indian Kid: "My fadder went complete apeshiat on me last night!"
Chinese kid: "Ya! Ma da ki' my ass too!"
White kid: "I got sent to my room!"
Other kids: "YOU HAVE A ROOM?"
 
2009-06-25 09:18:26 AM
Sounds just like me when I was of the puberty age. Luckily my mother didn't take any crap from my angry little self so I got a weekly if not daily whollopings from the slipper as well as having priviledges revoked.

She also taught me the whole act of "run away from the rolling pin".
 
2009-06-25 09:19:27 AM

As a great professor of mine once said to my class of prospective teachers re: this labelling crap:



"Whatever happened to PUNK?"

 
2009-06-25 09:20:32 AM
justbob2000: BEAT HIS LITTLE ASS! If he so much as says one word BEAT IT AGAIN!

WTF is wrong with parents nowdays?


farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2009-06-25 09:20:58 AM
gothelder: Newt13: Who was Buck?

Abused dog in the book.


Ahh... Thank you.


/Mark that as a book I won't go out of my way to read.
//Still scarred from reading "a Dog Called Kitty" in 2nd grade
 
2009-06-25 09:25:50 AM
I'm a therapist who works with kids with ODD, so I'm really getting a kick, etc...

Most of the work I end up doing is on parenting skills. I'm just sayin'.
 
2009-06-25 09:30:54 AM
justbob2000: BEAT HIS LITTLE ASS! If he so much as says one word BEAT IT AGAIN!

WTF is wrong with parents nowdays?


I personally know a kid who is ODD. I have spent time alone with him. Putting it simple terms, he completely lacks a conscience, although he has a (often misguided) desire to have one.

He really cannot tell the difference between right and wrong.

For all of you wondering what is wrong with his parents: hos mother was a drug addict and often left him lying alone in abonded buildins then came back when her benders were over. His normal father gained custody when the child was 6. But there's a lot of deap-seated issues that have developed since then.
 
2009-06-25 09:31:39 AM
another girl: I'm a therapist who works with kids with ODD, so I'm really getting a kick, etc...

Most of the work I end up doing is on parenting skills. I'm just sayin'.


Exactly!


I'm sick of sitting around a table with a bunch of teachers, the kid, and his parents and talking around the issue.


A lot of the time the parents a clearly whackjobs - usually involved in a bitter divorce or alcohol/drugs or BOTH - and everyone's pretending not to notice.

We then all decide what the TEACHERS are going to do differently.


EPIC FAIL - rinse, repeat year after year
 
2009-06-25 09:36:50 AM
Sounds like my ex husband.
 
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