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(Some Guy)   Ownership of North America to be decided by video game   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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17684 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2003 at 12:05 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

64 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-20 12:13:53 PM  
We feel that the course of history might have been so different, if the tactics of the British had been better!

The Germans rebutted with:

"We feel that we might have won World Wars One and Two had we not lost"
2003-02-20 12:14:14 PM  
..right. kind of interesting i guess
2003-02-20 12:15:33 PM  
and ?
2003-02-20 12:18:15 PM  
If its US vs. UK...

...then why are spanish ships featured in the title graphic?
2003-02-20 12:18:34 PM  
When I was a lad, I had this board game called "Skirmish!" which was an interesting take on this...
2003-02-20 12:18:46 PM  
I can get RISK on PS2 now?

or Monopoly?
2003-02-20 12:19:17 PM  
I call first dibs on the Mel Gibson Patriot General !
2003-02-20 12:23:39 PM  
I like how the flash intro on their site ends with:


How good of a game can you make if you can't even spell?
2003-02-20 12:25:11 PM  
Site = Farked...
2003-02-20 12:25:53 PM  
Ok. Maybee site = was farked
2003-02-20 12:26:50 PM  
We feel that the course of history might have been so different, if the tactics of the British had been better!

On that same note, American forces will be granted A-10 Warthogs.

/no less stupid
2003-02-20 12:27:13 PM  
I have this game, actually. The developers are Russian, which, of course, explains their interest in this. Confused? No, it's simple.

If: Britain defeats the American colonists
then the U.S. is never formed
and never becomes a superpower
and never defeats the Soviet Union in a cold war
so that ex-KGB agents don't have to become game developers
2003-02-20 12:31:25 PM  
Stupid stupid stupid. U.S. is rightfully G.B.'s? Whatever... Under that argument the U.S. is rightfully the native american indians' land. Sheesh!

2003-02-20 12:33:10 PM  
This looks like a lot of fun.
2003-02-20 12:33:26 PM  
If it doesn't have 3D graphics, I ain't playing it.
2003-02-20 12:35:39 PM  
Top 10 reasons Britian lost the American Revolution:

#3. Their diet: tea and crumpets. Our diet: raw squirrel meat and whiskey.

Can anyone please find the rest of this list? LS web archive doesn't seem to have it.
2003-02-20 12:37:38 PM  
If Sid Meier's name isn't on it I don't want it
2003-02-20 12:37:59 PM  
Behold the power of Google:


10. Hard to shoot straight with sissified powdered wig falling in your eyes.
9. Wanted to just lose New Jersey but got carried away.
8. Colonists on steroids.
7. Spent too much time guessing who's gay in the royal family.
6. Their diet: tea and crumpets. Our diet: raw squirrel meat and whiskey.
5. Serious problems with snuff abuse.
4. Lots of painful poking accidents trying to put on those pointy hats of theirs.
3. We had Batman.
2. Wanted to get first draft choice.
1. Uninspiring battle cry: "Let's win this for our swishy inbred monarch!"
2003-02-20 12:38:54 PM  
Hey, it's another plug today. Cool. The "Real World"-ization of FARK continues.
2003-02-20 12:42:49 PM  
I think the only way the Brit's are gonna win is if they take of those silly coats and stop marching in a straight line with a drummer announcing their location, like lemmings on the march to a cliff side. Even if they won, tactically there is no way to control a place that far with the time delay, just as the Brits saw with every other colony the let slip through their empiric fingers. Now the Canadians on the other hand could easily have taken and held the the US following their sacking and burning of DC, but the beer was so bad down here they got disgusted and went home :)
2003-02-20 12:45:30 PM  
Ownership of fark decided by plugs.

2003-02-20 12:46:37 PM  
Vanillacoke, you da man!
2003-02-20 12:46:54 PM  
How do you play this exactly? I already registered, NOW what do i do?
2003-02-20 12:57:45 PM  
And finally, from a UK perspective, we wanna fight for what's rightfully ours! ... AMERICA!

what the hell would we do with it if we got it back? it's too big, too loud and it's got a bloody great crack in it
2003-02-20 01:04:14 PM  
Uh Archfeld are you forgetting who ruled the Canadians at that time? That the Canadian army was the British army? That Canada is still a British colony? Now I admit that at this point it is kind of an in name only thing, but puhleeze seems everyone but the Canadians got rid of the British Overlords.
2003-02-20 01:06:02 PM  
if they Pick "Capcom vs. SNK 2" then yall might aswell go ahead and bow down and worhip me
2003-02-20 01:07:42 PM  
The Brits want the U.S. back? Okay, maybe we can cut a deal. If you take Dubya off our hands, we'll give you the big 13 you started with and Florida. If you want more than that, take Michael Jackson off our hands and we'll discuss the Louisiana Purchase.
2003-02-20 01:07:54 PM  
"3. We had Batman"

best thing i've read today
2003-02-20 01:08:49 PM  
Bill Cosby had a great routine about this:

"Captian Smith, meet Captian Wallburton, Captain Wallburton, meet Captain Smith.
(flips coin) "Captain Smith, you call it."
"Heads it is, Captian Smith, what will you do?"
"We will receive, we will receive."
"Okay, Captain Smith, your troops will wear green and brown and fight from the forest. Captian Wallburton, your men will wear red, march in straight lines, and play drums and bagpipes."
2003-02-20 01:12:52 PM  
CheeseAnvil tell you what, cut Florida loose, stick Dubya on it and let them float away and we've got a deal
2003-02-20 01:16:27 PM  
I blame Generals Gage, Howe, Burgoyne, Clinton, Cornwallis, and Carleton
2003-02-20 01:20:22 PM  
Tell you what. We will give you a straight up trade Bush for Blair. Then we will give you the first round draft pick and a player to be named later for the body of William Wallace. Britney & Christina for the Spice Girls minus Scary Spice and vocal cords. The Dallas Cowboys for Man U. Finally, California for Ireland if you promise to place California over France.
2003-02-20 01:21:25 PM  
A. This is a computer game that you buy at Eletronics Boutique or somewhere like that. It's called American Conquest. It's not 3d, but it's lots of fun, and you can have up to 15,000 units. The game basically runs on realistic numbers of people. You'll generally have 100+ peasants farming and another 100 or so as lumberjacks. You can organize your troops into formations of men with officers and march them around together. In addition to the UK and US, you can play as France or Spain or you can also play as one of a number of Native American tribes In all, it's pretty fun and representative of the times.

B. The principle of massed fire was a valid one during the Revolutionary War period. Muskets were notoriously short ranged and had poor aim. It wasn't until rifled muskets came along that it was a better idea. The other principle during this time was that leaderless armies would go crazy and flee during the battle, so men were tightly formed into columns and the like. When the gatling and machine guns came along, it was determined that a new strategy was needed.
2003-02-20 01:22:05 PM  
Land taken by war or treaty belongs to the conquerer/ treaty-recipient-man. UK 'attacked' native lands and won, so the land was theirs. Later, US also did the same to fill out the continent. Also Later, The US declared itself a country, UK responded with a bold "Nuh-uh" and the shooting began. The US took it's land by War from UK (Technically, US started with no land and we fought to get all of it, while entire towns 'surrendered' at the same time to the US)

In short, Natives lost to UK, UK lost to USA, and USA will soon lose to the Aliens. Or so they tell me.
2003-02-20 01:23:36 PM  
One more thing,
if you're a fan of this period, I would suggest the book "Rebels and Redcoats", which is an account of the war from a British perspective. It's an interesting read, and one we're not generally exposed to in the US
2003-02-20 01:27:13 PM  
Am I the only one whose first thought was of that rich guy's video game from 'Never Say Never Again'?
2003-02-20 01:30:14 PM  

Sounds like a good book, I'll have to check it out. Rise to Rebellion is a good perspective of both side. From the author of Gods and Generals.
2003-02-20 01:32:28 PM  
2003-02-20 01:34:21 PM  
oops, I meant - Deal BamaTide
2003-02-20 01:43:03 PM  
Florida gets returned to Spain, and Texas gets returned to Mexico.
2003-02-20 01:45:54 PM  
Adm_crunch: That was my second thought.

My first thought was:

"The battle for North America will be fought in the video arena."
-- Prof. Brian O'Blivion
2003-02-20 01:57:11 PM  
Elwood, there'd be no point. If I know my fellow Texans we'd just revolt agian. Maybe we should just go back to being our own country.
2003-02-20 02:17:09 PM  
Sqee, if you do that, will you promise to take your "president" with you? :)
2003-02-20 02:18:56 PM  
Anyone else ever read Steinbeck's Travels with Charley? and the Friends for the Support of Texas Secession, or something along those lines?
2003-02-20 02:25:39 PM  
"texans want the right to secede and form their own country, but don't want anyone else to want them to"
2003-02-20 02:29:55 PM  

Yeah, I read that one. I was going to buy the sequel, but 30 bucks for a book seems a little steep. Rebels and Redcoats is a history book, make no mistake. Even so, it includes a great many of the notes and thoughts of the sides involved. It really sheds light on just how close the Revolution was to falling apart.
2003-02-20 02:30:00 PM  
Corillon:Canada kicked your yankee ass in 1812, and if you keep with the lip, we'll burn down the White House -- AGAIN!

We didnt 'throw' off the British because we negotiated w/ them. Canada today is no more a colony than any other country. We NEGOTIATED the liberty of our Constitution, civility and humanity that Canadians are PROUD of. We are not war mongers like you animal yankees.
2003-02-20 02:38:38 PM  

We didnt 'throw' off the British because we negotiated w/ them. Canada today is no more a colony than any other country. We NEGOTIATED the liberty of our Constitution, civility and humanity that Canadians are PROUD of.

2003-02-20 02:41:29 PM  
Texas? It's own country?

I just got a tingle all over. Yes, yes! Please secede.
2003-02-20 02:43:55 PM  
So how long into this game will it take France to surrender
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