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(BBSpot)   Man hopes Episode III doesn't ruin his childhood   ( divider line
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

12570 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2003 at 12:45 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

196 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-21 02:58:38 AM  
How can people think this if FARKED UP?

Star Wars (1977) $460,935,655
Star Wars: Episode V $290,158,751
Star Wars: Episode VI $309,064,373
Star Wars: Episode I $431,065,444
Star Wars: Episode II $310,483,891

TOTAL $1,801,708,114

That's almost 2 Billion...... Give me a break
2003-02-21 03:00:41 AM  
OK. I give up on waiting for a new link. I'm going to go make me a grilled cheese sandwich and I'll watch a movie or something. It won't be any of that Star Wars shiat, either.
2003-02-21 03:00:49 AM  
I just realized, I'm making all these posts while wearing a Boba Fett t-shirt...

(This random thought brought to you be the letter Z and the number 6746746!)
2003-02-21 03:02:51 AM  
02-21-03 02:53:33 AM Aloneinthefark

And Jango Fett and Boba Fett are my favorite characters.

Uh, however they didn't expand on their histories very well.

And how the hell could they be the best bounty hunters in the universe if a Jedi could defeat them.

Pah, I say!

What???! Jedi have nothing against bounty is a honorable trade, and ebing the best at martial arts doesn't logically mean you can also dodge nukes....your argument contains nothing....and read tales of the bounty hunters if you want to know more.
2003-02-21 03:05:28 AM  
It was established during Return Of The Jedi, at least twice, that using the Dark Side of the Force someone can reach into your mind and suck the thoughts right out of it even if you don't want them to. It seems clear, to me, that there are ways to guard against this, since the Emperor doesn't know Vader is about to betray him even though he suspects as much. But it's equally clear that Luke is not able to use these deflective powers and when Anakin wants to find out about Leia, he is able to do so.

I'll grant you that by this point, Anakin is paying a great deal more attention to Luke and his thoughts than he has up to that point...but the issue I have is, when this took place Luke wasn't using any Force powers and in fact was taking pains to hide his thoughts from Vader, which didn't work. I'm pretty sure that in the next film we'll learn a great deal more about how to hunt for Force-sensitive people who aren't using the Force at the time you're sniffing them out.

The Vader we see in ESB and ROJ is somewhat consistent, although the ROJ version is kinder & gentler. The transition from the ANH Vader is rough & choppy because this Vader is a different character. As I've said, this is a matter of historical fact based on what Lucas was writing at the time. This Vader was inspired by Rochefort from the Three Musketeers and Guy of Gisborn from Robin Hood. Just a bad dude who killed Luke's father. That's all he was.
2003-02-21 03:08:08 AM  

Why thank you, you're a sweetie for saying so. Good night.
2003-02-21 03:15:18 AM  

Already have.

I'm saying if they're the best in the galaxy or whatever, shouldn't they be able to kill Jedi too? I mean technically, to be the best, you'd have to be able to kill Jedi too. It just makes sense since Jedi are like demigods in that universe practically.
2003-02-21 03:19:10 AM  
02-21-03 03:15:18 AM Aloneinthefark

Already have.

I'm saying if they're the best in the galaxy or whatever, shouldn't they be able to kill Jedi too? I mean technically, to be the best, you'd have to be able to kill Jedi too. It just makes sense since Jedi are like demigods in that universe practically

Being the best at your job doesn't mean you are the best at everything. And note that Boba is the only person in the original tril that talks back to Vader, par the emperor. And Jango kills a jedi in ep2 by shooting his ass off the balcony...
2003-02-21 03:22:33 AM  
By the way, if you haven't been to the most recent photoshop you should definitely head on over. It's a riot. (Oh, and my best friend decided to ps me into a rather precarious situation. heh. vote for Michikade! :D) anyway, even if you don't vote for her (and you really should) you should at least check it out (and vote for her anyway.)
A vote for michikade is a vote for George Lucas being a crack head!! (just kidding)
2003-02-21 03:24:17 AM  
good point.. he did shoot the jedi off the balcony.. reflecting blasts with your saber takes a certain skill and a certain amount of time to do. Certainly the guy couldn't do it point blank. Or maybe he didn't. I haven't seen Ep2 since the second time I saw it.. which was about 2 months after it was released
2003-02-21 03:29:43 AM  
George Lucas has already ruined my childhood, as much as he enriched it when I was a child. I just an not captivated like I was... It just feels differant, although I feel the same about the original trilogy.
2003-02-21 03:31:22 AM  
Basically: bla bla Lucas this, bla bla episode whatever that, and so on and so forth until the next Matrix movie.
2003-02-21 04:04:27 AM  
Yep, most people who claim the prequels are a thousand times worst than the originals first saw the originals when they were babies. Anybody who first saw them at a remotely objective age will probably tell you that Lucas hasn't his magic touch, in fact his "touch" was never insanely magical to begin with. Congratulations everyone, you suffer from Bitter Nostalgist syndrome.
2003-02-21 04:36:15 AM  


2003-02-21 04:37:05 AM  
I know just how this guy feels. At this point, StarWars and LOTR are really the only two reasons i don't kill myself:)
2003-02-21 04:50:52 AM  
George Lucas may have raped my childhood with Episode I, but at least with Episode II he had the common decency to give me a reacharound. You all know big ol' George's coming, and there ain't nothing you can do about it except bite the pillow and take it like a man, because with Episode III, George is gonna fark you until you love him.
2003-02-21 04:51:32 AM  
This article reads like a poorly written rip-off of this
, from The Onion
2003-02-21 05:01:59 AM  
2003-02-21 05:43:55 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-21 06:14:22 AM  
WEG Star Wars is 1000 times better then Star Wars d20, do I get an Amen people?

2003-02-21 06:17:44 AM  
The weird thing is that Anakin is C3P0's creator in Ep I. And C3P0 says "Thank the maker!" In Star Wars after Luke cleans him or something, C3P0 is kind of praying to Darth Vader, kinda creepy if you ask me.
2003-02-21 07:12:55 AM  
What is this Star Wars you speak of and was it ever resolved with unilateral disarmament? An unconditional surrender? And were these terms accepted by the UN???


Seriously, I'm 32 I saw SW at 6and 7
I saw ESB at 9 or 10
And ROTJ at 11 I guess.

It was fantastic and magical!!!I was thrilled by Obi Wan and Vader scared the bejeebus out of me. BUT I WAS A CHILD!!!As an adult of course that magic dose'nt exsist, That don't mean that the new ones are any less exciting when looked at from that angle. I mean I had a Big Wheel too. I now drive a car. Big Wheel for little me. Car for big me!Get it???

On a side-note. I had some little folks hanging out at my house (my wife seems to bring them home quite regularly) and they loved the 2 new movies when I put them on the DVD player. They get it cause they are suppose to get it!!!

Big Wheel-Car...See!
2003-02-21 08:12:26 AM  
The sick part is that I had this very conversation with my friend last night at the bar.

Please shoot me.
2003-02-21 09:08:55 AM  
not. teh. funnay.
2003-02-21 09:14:21 AM  
(in yoda voice)
hmmm... have faith in Lucas you must... but a real jedi trusts his intsincts or suffer horrific fate he will...

Dark and mysterious the future is... but not altogether swollen with fear... in order to appreciate the grandure of star wars one must clear his mind of every thing and open his mind to the FARK-side of the force...

(not in yoda voice)
if nothing else the third atleast gives us our tri-episodely dose of Ackbar...
2003-02-21 09:18:53 AM  
I'm not too keen on the prequel trilogy, but I can't wait to sit down with my kids and watch all six movies in a row. The looks on their faces will remind me of why I loved those movies so much. It's an epic fantasy that works wonders on children, but loses strength as you age.
2003-02-21 09:22:57 AM  
2003-02-21 09:25:02 AM  
Wow it's late in the thread for this, but someone asked for a plot hole in LOTR, and I thought of the whole "Gimli must be some sort of leader among dwarves, but he doesn't have any idea that the dwarves in the mines of Moria including close family members have been dead for enough years to be completely decomposed."
2003-02-21 09:38:58 AM  
best whine ever:

"But I was going in to Taasche Station to pick up some power converters!"
2003-02-21 09:41:00 AM  
You know, I just realized that it's sad that I can spell Taasche without having to look it up.
2003-02-21 09:53:58 AM  
now for the truth--just watch any of the StarWars movies through the eyes of a child and you will love them all
2003-02-21 09:55:04 AM  
I'd like to see more of Jar-Jar...
Marinated, rubbed down with Teriyaki sauce, and slow-cooked over a BBQ pit...
2003-02-21 10:00:42 AM  
The love story in Ep II was so awful, and the chemistry so bad. At no point did I ever think that Portman was into Christensen's creepy, pushy, clingy overtures. And when she finally confessed her love I was flabbergasted. Up till that point I honestly thought he was going to go to the dark side and rape her because he was so totally obsessed with her and she was so obviously uninterested in him.
2003-02-21 10:04:56 AM  
I am a huge star wars fan. I love the holy trilogy, xwing & tie fighter games and I've read many of the books. Ep 1&2 sucked major donkey balls.

JarJar needs to die a violent and bloody death.
Tarkin needs to be introduced.
Christensen made Hammil look like an Oscar contender.
Why, oh sweet god why, were C3PO and R2D2 brought into the prequels?
Why did they make the Fetts a couple of mexicans? Jango didn't have shiat on Bobba.
Storm Troopers should not have been the clones. (shouldn't the STs all sound like the same mexican in 4-6 then?)
Where are the Victory class Star Destroyers and Z95 Headhunters, etc in 1-3?

I could go on and on but Lucas is a tool who sold out and cashed in. Yes, John Williams is a fantastic composer, my biggest problem with him is he's pretty much stolen and rewritten everything he's done. Go listen to Quiddich March in Harry Potter to Tchakovsky's Swan Lake Scene 10. He's always had quite a rep for ripping off Wagner.

/ultimate dork
2003-02-21 10:17:28 AM  
Episode 1 wasn't 'that' bad, but I was drunk at the time so my memory might be betraying me. Still, I think that the first three eps would play well on MST3.

short silence for fallen heros

Unfortunatly, as much as I like SW, I think Buckaroo Banzei is a better film.
2003-02-21 10:29:01 AM  
You lot do realise that these films are aimed at 11-13 year olds?

just checking...
2003-02-21 10:50:28 AM  
You lot do realise that these films are aimed at 11-13 year olds?

just checking...

I am 55 years old, not quite dead yet thank you.

You do realize that you are just trolling?

I thought so.
2003-02-21 10:53:57 AM  
Why did they make the Fetts a couple of mexicans?

I'm guessing you don't have a lot of Polynesians up there in Wisconsin, Luckycarbon. The actors who played Jango

and Boba Fett are both Maoris from New Zealand.

Incidentally, and for no other reason than my own masterbatory purposes, I actually got to go on-set a few times during the filming of episode II and have actually been in the Fett's apartment.

Fap fap fap...

2003-02-21 12:59:36 PM  
Hip_about_time is a life long fanboy.
Wanna hear somethig possible and creepy? Lucas makes Episodes 7-9, And the story is this, Luke gets poosesed by the emeror, being the only force user alive he IS the balance of the force so hs embodies the light and dark sides, (He did force choke those Gamoreans at the first of ROTJ) and luke takes over the Empire as its new Ruler, leia leeds a resistance movement against him which Thaws out a cloned Anakin (Played by Hayden) and we get to see a climactic Duel between Anakin and Luke AGAIN at the end of the trillogy only this time its an Old Mark Hamil (All wrinkled and consumed by the dark side like the Emperror was) and A young Anakin. And Anakin defeats/ redeems Luke Who Deafeated/ redemmed him in 6 and the circle is complete. Yall chew on that till your brain explodes. Orangeglow is the finest of all the Farkettes as well. And OMG a Fanbabe to boot!
2003-02-21 02:25:06 PM  
02-21-03 10:04:56 AM Luckycarbon
John Williams is a fantastic composer, my biggest problem with him is he's pretty much stolen and rewritten everything he's done. Go listen to Quiddich March in Harry Potter to Tchakovsky's Swan Lake Scene 10. He's always had quite a rep for ripping off Wagner.

You ever listen to Holst's The Planet Suite? Check out Neptune...
2003-02-21 03:17:42 PM  
Speaking of rip offs, I watched hidden fortress a few months back, the DVD had a short by Lukas, he said he was influenced by it in making star wars.

To the tune of using the same damn dissolves and much the same story line.
2003-02-21 04:25:47 PM  
Man..and I thought we were up in arms at the MSN . Dune site...LOL

2003-02-21 05:26:07 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

And now young Hymer, you will die.
2003-02-22 12:17:08 AM  
At least we can try persuading Lucas not to screw Star Wars up so much...
2003-02-22 09:54:49 AM  
If Ben Kenobi went to such incredible ends to hide the Skywalker twins... even by splitting them up to keep them safe (They were seperated at birth to protect their identities [R.O.T.J.]) ... then why the hell did Luke Skywalker end up keeping his damned surname. Surely the name "Skywalker" would be associated with nose-goblins and foreskin scrapings or something insidiously similar, especially considering how feared and loathed the Skywalker family name must have been. And surely, even as Darth Vader, Annakin would have been able to hunt down his jackassed spawn... A name such as "Skywalker" stands out like a used condom in a bento box. Anyone else have an explaination? I really would like to hear one... it helps with that whole "suspension of disbelief" stuff.
2003-02-22 11:00:13 AM  
fark Lucas. fark him up his stupid ass.
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