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(The Register)   Convict tries to smuggle cell phone 'internally' into prison - MALE convict. Dunno if it was an iPhone killer, but it definitely wrecked em   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 37
    More: Dumbass  
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4756 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2009 at 5:52 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-06-18 05:17:06 PM  
Torn rectum? There's an app for that.
 
2009-06-18 05:57:25 PM  
At least he didn't try to smuggle in all of Disneyland.
 
2009-06-18 06:51:25 PM  
To avoid detection, he had placed the phone on "vibrate". Jailors became suspicious when he started doing the fingers-to-mouth-and-ear "call me" sign to EVERYONE.
 
2009-06-18 06:56:20 PM  
That's an uncomfortable hunk of metal.
 
2009-06-18 08:35:51 PM  
Cell phones in prisons? More likely than you think Link (new window)
 
2009-06-18 09:09:03 PM  
It was a Samsung Sphincstinct.
 
2009-06-19 05:59:24 AM  
And? Aren't like 99% of the "inmate smuggles cell phone" stories here about male prisoners? How is that supposed to be the kicker in that headline?
 
2009-06-19 06:07:23 AM  
At least he wasn't trying to smuggle in a pet.
i249.photobucket.com
 
2009-06-19 06:16:35 AM  
Damn near killed 'em?
 
2009-06-19 06:18:32 AM  
beantowndog: That's an uncomfortable hunk of metal.

THIS was an uncomfortable hunk of metal.
www.danidoblas.com

Most cell phones are plastic on the outside.
 
2009-06-19 06:32:45 AM  
Should he dial "9" for outside calls?

Sorry,I'm holey confused about this.
 
2009-06-19 06:54:02 AM  
You ever watch those prison docs that MSNBC shows on the weekends? They have this one video the guards made of someone smuggling contraband inside. I had an idea of how they did it but it's silly when you actually see it.

It happend during one of the meet and greets they have with family. Everyone is in a large room sitting at their own table. This one prisoner is sitting half off of his chair, like maybe only half an ass cheek is on the seat. His shirt was untucked and draped over him. His chick hands him something...I think it was a cell phone.. then his arm goes under his shirt and he shoved up right up his ass.

It only took him like three seconds to get it all up there. I couldn't do that. I don't want to talk about all the things I've shoved up my ass here since this is a family forum but damn... three seconds... I couldn't do it. And you know that phone was dry too. Did he pre lube his ass?

Prison folk are crafty.
 
2009-06-19 07:01:45 AM  
Boo!
 
2009-06-19 07:16:50 AM  
Submitter worded the headline as if it's supposed to be somehow shocking to have a male prison keister contraband. It isn't. It's prison. This is the kind of thing that happens.
 
2009-06-19 07:23:03 AM  
Was going to say that subby was apparently unaware that this is how prison works, butt that has been covered. ../they don't call it the "suitcase" for nothin'
 
2009-06-19 07:47:48 AM  
media1.break.com
 
2009-06-19 08:20:03 AM  
Bristol crim caught with mobile up jacksie

Do those words actually mean something?
 
2009-06-19 08:48:16 AM  
probesport: Bristol crim caught with mobile up jacksie

Do those words actually mean something?


A resident of Bristol ^, a crim(inal) - a master criminal, no less - was actively found having a mobile (phone) up their jacksie (George W. Bush).
 
2009-06-19 08:49:12 AM  
oh sorry, my butt just hung up on you
 
2009-06-19 08:52:19 AM  
GreatNOD: oh sorry, my butt just hung up on you

I hate that commercial so much. Something about it really bothers me.
 
2009-06-19 09:00:32 AM  
I prefer the article at the bottom with Stolen "Cellie" rings in vagina, by Vivian Tyson
 
2009-06-19 09:24:53 AM  
Nice try subby. Maybe your next headline will actually be funny...
 
2009-06-19 09:28:49 AM  
www.metropolismag.com


What's the big deal?
 
2009-06-19 09:40:45 AM  
Let's hope it wasn't a jailbroken iphone.
 
2009-06-19 09:50:26 AM  
So THAT'S what he's going to do with all that junk. All that junk inside his trunk....
 
2009-06-19 10:12:19 AM  
He could've smuggled three Magic Jacks...
 
2009-06-19 10:19:11 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

"I just want my phone call."
 
2009-06-19 10:20:34 AM  
Cope_Freeland: You ever watch those prison docs that MSNBC shows on the weekends? They have this one video the guards made of someone smuggling contraband inside. I had an idea of how they did it but it's silly when you actually see it.

It happend during one of the meet and greets they have with family. Everyone is in a large room sitting at their own table. This one prisoner is sitting half off of his chair, like maybe only half an ass cheek is on the seat. His shirt was untucked and draped over him. His chick hands him something...I think it was a cell phone.. then his arm goes under his shirt and he shoved up right up his ass.

It only took him like three seconds to get it all up there. I couldn't do that. I don't want to talk about all the things I've shoved up my ass here since this is a family forum but damn... three seconds... I couldn't do it. And you know that phone was dry too. Did he pre lube his ass?

Prison folk are crafty.


I worry about you sometimes, man. I really do.
 
2009-06-19 10:40:55 AM  
So was it one of those really skinny Samsung swivel-phones, or, say, an oldschool AT&T brick? It makes a difference...
 
2009-06-19 11:30:14 AM  
Anal insertion?

There's an app for that.
 
2009-06-19 12:09:12 PM  
shiatty
 
2009-06-19 12:58:07 PM  
This headline really speaks to me.
 
2009-06-19 01:57:26 PM  
Ring ring ring ring,
Ring ring ring,
Cornhole phone!

confettiandbreadcrumb.com
 
2009-06-19 03:26:37 PM  
We had one guy stick a full-sized handset up his ass... along with a couple pens some wire and a bunch of meds.

Previously had stuck a toilet brush up his ass, up to the bristles, and ran around saying he was a bunny rabbit.

/works in a max security prison
//fun as hell
 
2009-06-19 06:14:55 PM  
No jokes about dirty phone calls yet? How odd.

Good thing for him technology has kept up....
i43.tinypic.com

/That looks uncomfortable...
 
2009-06-19 06:38:40 PM  
So if he was trying to smuggle in the phone, I wonder where he had the charger?
 
2009-06-19 09:33:26 PM  
That headline sucked.

/that is all
//carry on
 
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