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(Hernando Today)   When you pop a beer in the waiting room of a Wal-Mart car servicing area, and are told you can't do that, and respond by ripping a telephone off the wall, you might be a stinkin' drunk   (www2.hernandotoday.com) divider line 32
    More: Dumbass  
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4208 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jun 2009 at 6:02 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-06-16 04:27:45 AM  
Hey buddy, I'll drink a beer wherever I want!
 
2009-06-16 04:31:40 AM  
Stories like this are why I watch Cops. Drunk at 8PM on a Thursday? Hey, at least I didn't get hauled off in the middle of the day because I was hammered at a Wal-Mart!
 
2009-06-16 06:07:31 AM  
When something like this happens, you've really got to think about your life.
 
2009-06-16 06:11:41 AM  
How to be a functional alcoholic in public lesson 1:

1) 20 oz. Mt. Dew, Sprite, Gatorade, etc.
2) Pour out/drink half of the bottle
3) Fill rest of bottle with vodka
4) Breath mints/ gum
5) Now you can drink at Wal-Mart
6) Profit
 
2009-06-16 06:13:22 AM  
Where's the tazen bro.
 
2009-06-16 06:19:42 AM  
I had a girlfriend like that. For a while.

Once, completely unbeknownst to me, she started thinking about her ex-husband that she hadn't seen in 18 years. She started yelling and threw an ashtray at me. Cut the hell out of my ear. A few minutes before, I thought we were just having a pleasant evening together.

She lived far out in the country. One night, she called me and said that she was scared to be alone out there, and would I please come over. I got there at 1:00 in the morning to find her naked and using her coffee table to break out all of the windows in the house from the inside. She'd already broken everything else in the house. When she started coming at me with the coffee table, I skedaddled.

There were many more incidents like this, and drinking was indeed a problem. More than a decade later, she still tries to contact me. I'm very grateful for caller ID ;)
 
2009-06-16 06:26:20 AM  
Mugshot for Miss Florida:

www.hernandosheriff.org

That's hot.
 
hej
2009-06-16 06:27:50 AM  
We have a img1.fark.net tag for things like this, subby.
 
2009-06-16 06:28:20 AM  
That headline doesn't fit with "That's Amore" at all...
 
2009-06-16 06:29:01 AM  
If I had to hang out at Wally World I would drink too.
 
2009-06-16 07:16:59 AM  
I poop a bear whnenever I want to, danmamitt!
 
2009-06-16 07:36:03 AM  
i didn't rtfa. i was going to say a guy wanting to be drunk at walmart should just go in his backyard or the apt building parking lot with all the six packs and tools necessary and go change the oil himself or he is a pussy. then i saw the pic. getting underneath a car would probably do her some good.
 
2009-06-16 07:36:29 AM  
Whoa, her husband has had it with her and wouldn't even pick her up? Right ON, sounds like this piece of magic may be available soon!! Let me grab the first flight to Florida.
 
2009-06-16 08:10:57 AM  
Why does this story fill me with rage?
 
2009-06-16 08:18:57 AM  
you might be a stinkin' drunk typical Wal-Mart Customer

FTFY
 
2009-06-16 08:27:16 AM  
Mom?
 
2009-06-16 08:49:44 AM  
When you pop a beer in the waiting room of a Wal-Mart car servicing area, and are told you can't do that, and respond by ripping a telephone off the wall, you might be a stinkin' drunk ... AND probably voted for McCain.

/Palin be re-energizin' the base!
 
2009-06-16 09:18:30 AM  
I'm not a big drinker, but I can polish off a helluva lot of small drinks!
 
2009-06-16 09:28:25 AM  
They took our jerbs!
 
2009-06-16 09:37:16 AM  
Oh, so now you're some kinda expert on alcoholics? DON'T JUDGE ME!!!
 
2009-06-16 10:01:09 AM  
Mom?
 
2009-06-16 10:14:04 AM  
SpinStopper: I had a girlfriend like that. For a while.

Once, completely unbeknownst to me, she started thinking about her ex-husband that she hadn't seen in 18 years. She started yelling and threw an ashtray at me. Cut the hell out of my ear. A few minutes before, I thought we were just having a pleasant evening together.

She lived far out in the country. One night, she called me and said that she was scared to be alone out there, and would I please come over. I got there at 1:00 in the morning to find her naked and using her coffee table to break out all of the windows in the house from the inside. She'd already broken everything else in the house. When she started coming at me with the coffee table, I skedaddled.

There were many more incidents like this, and drinking was indeed a problem. More than a decade later, she still tries to contact me. I'm very grateful for caller ID ;)


When you use that word, Jeff Conaway gets REALLY upset!!!

And wants you to take it back.
 
2009-06-16 10:15:53 AM  
Is it wrong that I now read "stinkin' drunk" in Francis Griffin's voice?
 
2009-06-16 10:24:01 AM  
Boy, you can sure tell a lot about the local community by the type of people in the local Walmart. Just step inside one and take a look around.
 
2009-06-16 10:45:51 AM  
Brad_Will: Stories like this are why I watch Cops. Drunk at 8PM on a Thursday?

Is that a problem? I was drunk every day for a week after graduation, starting at 6PM.
 
2009-06-16 11:10:22 AM  
Gigwave: Is it wrong that I now read "stinkin' drunk" in Francis Griffin's voice?

ah, I see I'm not the only one, then
 
2009-06-16 11:30:28 AM  
I bet she was drinkin Coors lite .
 
2009-06-16 11:33:08 AM  
I had this neurotic customer that used to bring in his beloved 1986 Nissan to me. Don't touch the paint! It'll scratch! ugh... You can't remove that piece even though it's rusted off, it came with the car!

He always had a small cooler with him and he'd wander all over, in and out of the shop even though we told him to piss off out of the shop numerous times, but he'd sneak off behind the building for minutes at a time, no doubt drinking the beer he kept in the cooler.

I can't imagine how unstable he was without it... I hated that farking guy but he only trusted me for some dumb reason so I always had to deal with him.
 
2009-06-16 12:23:24 PM  
Being a resident of Spring hill I know to stay away from the walmart auto center. Nothing but crazies!
 
2009-06-16 03:38:40 PM  
images4.wikia.nocookie.net

Approves

/Hot like she aint.
 
2009-06-16 06:47:33 PM  
Another proud day to be from Spring Hill.
 
2009-06-17 12:34:36 PM  
This simply means that all pay phones will soon be removed at Wal-Mart.
 
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