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Middlesex Facebook middle school sex booking, past Pat Pat Pass pissed, and Jehovah's Witnesses in your doorway: Headlines of the Week 6/7 to 6/13 
Posted by Drew at 2009-06-15 1:55:52 PM (23 comments) | Permalink
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9183 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jun 2009 at 2:20 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



No special posting this week, just enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-06-07 to Sat 2009-06-13:

img1.fark.net  Car plows into a tour bus carrying the Sisters of the Most Precious Blood. Nun killed    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  A 15-year-old girl who claimed Home Depot employees rescued her from her kidnapper later revealed the story was a hoax. Police became suspicious when she claimed she was able to find help at Home Depot    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Notebook of Picasso sketches stolen. Not surprisingly, French police have their noses bent out of shape over this    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Chili's, Steak and Ale founder Norman Brinker dead at 78, presumably from starvation while waiting for his lame-ass waiter to bring the goddamn appetizer he ordered an hour ago    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Homeless couple finally receive their high school diplomas, hope to save up for a wall to hang them on    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Airman facing rape charges after being booked in Middlesex for sex with middle school girl he met on Facebook    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Women in stable relationships sleep better than those who have just broken up with a partner. The trick is putting down fresh hay    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Whale sinks British couple's yacht. Husband vows to get his revenge, however long it takes    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Congress proposes allowing the FCC to limit TV ad volume. BILLY MAYS IS NOT AMUSED    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Thief steals identity of police identity theft investigator, charges $2,000 worth of irony on his credit card    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Police arrest serial plant thief, should begonia way for a long time    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  David Ortiz passes eye exam, a test that apparently had nothing resembling a baseball    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Montana joins Washington, much to the surprise of Idaho    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Pats pass on past Pat Pat Pass. Past Pat Pass passed pissed    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Biggest Black Hole ever Found in Nearby Galaxy. EVERYBODY PAN..I....................C    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Male hummingbirds break the speed record for fastest sex in the animal kingdom, a record which has stood since your conception    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Jehovah's Witnesses more likely to die in childbirth. Also more likely to be standing in doorway in event of earthquake    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Carradine family asks the FBI to determine who rubbed out David, will have HBO's forensics master Baden perform autopsy    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Distant relative of Leo Tolstoy facing hard times, just keeps going on and on about it    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  "I'm Jessica Alba, I'm Jessica Alba, I'm cleared of all charges, I'M JESSICA ALBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"  


Politics:

img1.fark.net  ♫ All the leaves are brown ♫ And the sky is gray ♫ California welfare ♫ Is gonna go awaaaaaaaaay ♫  

img1.fark.net  Democrats trying to give the mentally ill free healthcare, or as they call it, "playing to the base"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Republicans: "Obama's health care plan is a tough pill to swallow." Obama: "Good news - it's a suppository"    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  The Black Eyed Peas' tour makes Fergie sick. Take a number and get in line, sister    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Not news: 40 years ago today a man was kicked out of a band. News: It was Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones. Fark: Mick and Keith said he was doing too many drugs. Dude, if Keith says you're overdoing it ... get help, man. Get help    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Chris Martin will not make a solo album unless he and Gwyneth Paltrow split. So here's to hoping they have a long and happy marriage    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  Wagging tongues say Aer Lingus faces "most difficult period in its history," pays lip services to mounds of debt but hopes to lick financial woes and snatch victory from jaws of defeat    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Despite the best efforts of subby's wife, Prada is €600 million in debt    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Amazon pays Toys "Я" Us $51 million to Яesolve contЯact dispute    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


23 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2009-06-15 02:04:55 PM
My favorite headline this week (and there were several good ones):

Pats pass on past Pat Pat Pass. Past Pat Pass passed pissed

Any other week and the cleverness of the Middlesex one would have taken it, but the former is an absolute gem. Kudos to everybody who made this week's list.
 
2009-06-15 02:09:05 PM
My first time on the list!

Things are going to start happening to me now....
 
2009-06-15 02:10:23 PM
MuadDib: My first time on the list!

Things are going to start happening to me now....


You're a driver. You're a winner.
 
2009-06-15 02:20:24 PM
Thought I had a chance for 2, but 1 will work
 
2009-06-15 02:28:09 PM
Really? No update this week?

I find that surprising actually, and a bit dissapointing.
 
2009-06-15 02:30:31 PM
Awww, no love for "British foreign secretary David Milliband considered resigning, possibly because his brother Steve told him to take the money and run" ?

/got 2 others though
 
2009-06-15 02:31:27 PM
BubbaWilkins: Really? No update this week?

I suspect that next week there will be a rather long update. Maybe he'll explain the reasoning behind letting the first Iran thread go past 3K posts.
 
2009-06-15 02:31:53 PM
Adjective Bird Whiskey: MuadDib: My first time on the list!

Things are going to start happening to me now....

You're a driver. You're a winner.


Things are going to change, I can feel it.
 
2009-06-15 02:32:42 PM
Steve Milliband deserves a nod. Let's gather in Tehran until justice prevails
 
2009-06-15 02:41:24 PM
It may not have been the best headline, but thread of the week was the corset thread.
 
2009-06-15 02:44:08 PM
JUST FRIGGIN WOW.
headline hurt muh head
 
2009-06-15 02:47:31 PM
Apparently I'm completely hit or miss. 20-some submissions, 3 accepts, 2 headlines of the week. I'm either loved or hated.
 
2009-06-15 02:56:36 PM
DammitIForgotMyLogin

Awww, no love for "British foreign secretary David Milliband considered resigning, possibly because his brother Steve told him to take the money and run" ?

That was a well-crafted headline; I couldn't stop laughing.

/surprised my Chris Martin one made it
 
2009-06-15 03:02:40 PM
I miss Drew comments. He must still be recovering from Vancouver party.
 
2009-06-15 03:29:51 PM
That was an epic Billy Mays thread.
 
2009-06-15 03:35:46 PM
♫ All the leaves are brown ♫ And the sky is gray ♫ California welfare ♫ Is gonna go awaaaaaaaaay ♫

I admit that one stuck in my head a couple days.
 
2009-06-15 03:51:33 PM
I came for the 6,000,002. I leave disappointed.

/still got one though.
 
2009-06-15 04:19:18 PM
6,000,002 was the best one since "Car Flu kills at least 41 in Baghdad"...
 
2009-06-15 04:27:13 PM
Unfreakable: Pats pass on past Pat Pat Pass. Past Pat Pass passed pissed

Brilliant, true. I felt too shy to comment in the original thread that grammatically, "past pissed" would have been preferable to "passed pissed". "Past" meaning a reference to a temporal past, "passed" meaning a reference to a Cartesian past.
 
2009-06-15 04:57:25 PM
MuadDib: My first time on the list!

Things are going to start happening to me now....


Me too!
 
2009-06-15 05:23:20 PM
Hooray! I actually did something good for once!

/Pat Pass owes me for making him more well known than he was before
 
2009-06-16 12:34:56 AM
Black hole! PAN...I....C! My favorite among many worthy contenders.
 
2009-06-17 02:44:26 PM
syrynxx: Brilliant, true. I felt too shy to comment in the original thread that grammatically, "past pissed" would have been preferable to "passed pissed". "Past" meaning a reference to a temporal past, "passed" meaning a reference to a Cartesian past.

Fark headlines are often written more like news headlines... words like "has" and "it" can be dropped, making a headline a bit nonsensical at first glance. Reading it as if "pissed" is a fine line, that has been crossed, makes it work. Or if you think of being "pissed" as a stage that one can pass.

/of course, I was drunk and I'm poor at grammar, anyway
 
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