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(The Sun)   "The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume"   ( thesun.co.uk) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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7628 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2009 at 6:10 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2009-06-13 03:18:15 PM  
Everyone knows what goes on in that apartment:
i318.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2009-06-13 03:51:50 PM  
"Dear Helen,

They are very small ducks.

Regards, David."

Hahaha wow...
 
2009-06-13 04:04:19 PM  
David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.

Good plan Helen.
 
2009-06-13 04:07:51 PM  
Jeff: "Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again?"

David: "The middle one."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ;)
 
2009-06-13 05:04:02 PM  
Awesome.
 
2009-06-13 05:04:05 PM  
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due


DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due


Ok.


I really like this guys style.
 
2009-06-13 06:17:22 PM  
"I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back."

LOL... this stuff is awesome.
 
2009-06-13 06:18:15 PM  
if you haven't, you really really should (new window)
 
2009-06-13 06:23:52 PM  
And this did not happen in Florida?
 
2009-06-13 06:24:55 PM  
Actually, mix in some Beethoven there and you've got yourself one hell of a poem.
 
2009-06-13 06:28:09 PM  
DRTFA at first. Yeah, it has British wit so now I leave happy.
 
2009-06-13 06:38:33 PM  
most english people are twats.
 
2009-06-13 06:43:26 PM  
I bet it was really Pocket Ninja
 
2009-06-13 06:48:24 PM  
I did not expect this to be actually funny, but it is. Very. Especially the gym exchange.

/then went to his site and realized that it can get old quick
 
2009-06-13 06:51:36 PM  
I like the cut of his jib.
 
2009-06-13 06:59:36 PM  
I was wondering who this guy is, so I decided to find out. (new window)
 
2009-06-13 07:01:06 PM  
yes, the seven legged spider man strikes again. jolly good.
 
2009-06-13 07:02:25 PM  
This guy is gold.
 
2009-06-13 07:03:22 PM  
I actually knew someone who had an LP called "Dogs Barking".

It was like 20 minutes of random-ass dogs...well, barking.

I wonder if it's the same recording.
 
2009-06-13 07:29:31 PM  
"The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume"

Sounds like the middle of a Monty Python sketch.
 
2009-06-13 07:47:32 PM  
this guy has obviously studied Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, and the Lazlo letters of Don Novello
 
2009-06-13 07:50:41 PM  
What happened to Joe Malik's dogs

http://unintentional-irony.blogspot.com/2008/03/joe-maliks-dogs.html
 
2009-06-13 08:07:19 PM  

I Have Assumed Control: I bet it was really Pocket Ninja


God, I hope so. Because otherwise, this guy needs to be hit in the head with the sharp edge of a shovel. If I was his landlord, I'd have filled the room with poison gas about email #3.
 
2009-06-13 08:23:11 PM  
FTFA: THE 'spider drawing' email prankster is back - and we've got our hands on his hilarious new wind-ups

You mean you went to his blog and copied them, retard.

It's not journalism, it's the Sun.
 
2009-06-13 08:51:29 PM  
Uchiha_Cycliste
I really like this guys style.

Then you should check out Strunk and White's style.
 
2009-06-13 08:54:47 PM  
Finally, a green light for one of these links. This guy is completely awesome.
 
2009-06-13 09:04:10 PM  
Fairly earns the DUMBASS tag.

That sucker was funny the first time around, but not any more.

Sit down and shut up, your 15 minutes of fame are over.
 
2009-06-13 09:28:19 PM  
Having spent three years in the UK-I'm American, and glad to be back to where you can find a 24/7 store withing within a 2 mile radius-you've got to understand the nuance here. I spent a year and half arguing with BT (British Telephone) about my non-existent internet service. I never got a reply from them-ever. I spent probably 6 hours of time on the phone, trying to get an answer. Mail was lost at least a dozen times (I lost count) and I once found a tire delivered by a Brit shipping company in my trash bin. This is giving me a visceral satisfaction that is impossible to explain. It's Brit thing.
 
2009-06-13 10:19:59 PM  
So, he's a douchebag who never pays his bills and spends all his time screwing around on the Internet. What's his Fark handle?
 
2009-06-13 10:49:30 PM  

crazywisdom_uk: Having spent three years in the UK-I'm American, and glad to be back to where you can find a 24/7 store withing within a 2 mile radius-you've got to understand the nuance here. I spent a year and half arguing with BT (British Telephone) about my non-existent internet service. I never got a reply from them-ever. I spent probably 6 hours of time on the phone, trying to get an answer. Mail was lost at least a dozen times (I lost count) and I once found a tire delivered by a Brit shipping company in my trash bin. This is giving me a visceral satisfaction that is impossible to explain. It's Brit thing.


Kevin72: DRTFA at first. Yeah, it has British wit so now I leave happy.


some_beer_drinker: most english people are twats.


psssst... he is an aussie...
 
2009-06-14 12:27:26 AM  
One of his fun ones is where he answers all his text and emails one afternoon with a Magic 8 Ball. I think we need a worldwide Magic 8 Ball Day.
 
2009-06-14 12:36:14 AM  
therhinodep
So, he's a douchebag who never pays his bills and spends all his time screwing around on the Internet. What's his Fark handle?

THIS.

It's one thing to use the devastating power of a superious intellect to crush small minds hellbent on abusing you via the mechanisms of bureaucracy. It's another thing to take petty pleasure in annoying regular people trying to do their jobs to the best of their ability.

"He wants me to renew my gym membership?? Just WAIT until he sees what I have in store for him!!"

/moran
 
2009-06-14 12:42:16 AM  
Tape loops in 2009? I admire his skill and dedication.
 
2009-06-14 01:50:58 AM  
Thanks for the link to his site. This guy is hilarious, but somebody is still going to pound his skull someday. I mean really make some jelly.
 
2009-06-14 02:41:27 AM  

hotter than the ads: It's one thing to use the devastating power of a superious intellect to crush small minds hellbent on abusing you via the mechanisms of bureaucracy. It's another thing to take petty pleasure in annoying regular people trying to do their jobs to the best of their ability.


Couldn't be better-put than this.^
 
2009-06-14 02:37:10 PM  

crazywisdom_uk: Having spent three years in the UK-I'm American, and glad to be back to where you can find a 24/7 store withing within a 2 mile radius-you've got to understand the nuance here. I spent a year and half arguing with BT (British Telephone) about my non-existent internet service. I never got a reply from them-ever. I spent probably 6 hours of time on the phone, trying to get an answer. Mail was lost at least a dozen times (I lost count) and I once found a tire delivered by a Brit shipping company in my trash bin. This is giving me a visceral satisfaction that is impossible to explain. It's Brit thing.


Maybe the reason you never got your broadband sorted is because everyone else uses British Telecom ?
 
2009-06-14 05:04:59 PM  
Being an American living in England, I can completely agree with the shiatty customer service. It seems to be expected here.
Back on topic, though, doesn't this seem a lot like Ted L. Nancy (new window) to anyone else?
 
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