Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Cracked)   A map of what your tattoo locations say about you   ( cracked.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

36898 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2009 at 5:10 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



237 Comments     (+0 »)
 


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2009-06-13 12:01:07 PM  
Rather obvious, but mildly amusing.
 
2009-06-13 01:31:39 PM  
I'm convinced that only douchebags make these kinds of things.
 
2009-06-13 01:37:10 PM  
From what I've seen, by Cracked standards it's hilarious.
 
2009-06-13 02:19:47 PM  
apparently, my arm tattoo is in a "socially acceptable rebellious tattoo zone"

and here I thought I was just getting it somewhere that I could keep hidden by clothing.
 
2009-06-13 03:38:56 PM  

SilentStrider: apparently, my arm tattoo is in a "socially acceptable rebellious tattoo zone"

and here I thought I was just getting it somewhere that I could keep hidden by clothing.


I believe that is why it's socially acceptable. That and it's not on your inner thigh.

I have no tattoos. I don't plan to ever have one, but if I did get one, I'd probably get it on my ass like a My Little Pony :) Then the hard part would be deciding which pony I want to be. Firefly or Twilight? Applejack would just look some strange case of pimples or something, so that's right out.
 
2009-06-13 04:16:26 PM  
Wow, such a hilarious "article"

*yawn*
 
2009-06-13 05:08:08 PM  
"Tattoos are now as edgy as a padded watermelon" was pretty funny.

/has tattoos the map didn't insult
 
2009-06-13 05:14:27 PM  
That picture speaks truth.
 
2009-06-13 05:15:50 PM  
failblog.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


Signifies "Fail".
 
2009-06-13 05:16:04 PM  
ha ha site blocked at work. Reason: Tasteless
 
2009-06-13 05:16:08 PM  
Lemon Chicken (new window)SFW
 
2009-06-13 05:18:18 PM  
Yes, buying me a drink will totally work.
 
2009-06-13 05:18:50 PM  
Gunderson: Signifies "Fail".

And "diabetes."
 
2009-06-13 05:20:01 PM  

Gunderson: Signifies "Fail".


Signifies diabetes.
 
2009-06-13 05:20:07 PM  
So then what does the tattoo on penis mean?
 
2009-06-13 05:20:36 PM  

GeneFrenkle: Gunderson: Signifies "Fail".

And "diabetes."


I hate you.
 
2009-06-13 05:20:59 PM  
Insecure, insecure, attention whore, whore. I think that sums up any possible explanation for tattoos.
 
2009-06-13 05:22:18 PM  
checkoutmyink.comView Full Size


This is the unique place to get a tat these days. You can tell because everyone is doing it.
 
2009-06-13 05:22:42 PM  

Karma Chameleon: Insecure, insecure, attention whore, whore. I think that sums up any possible explanation for tattoos.


I wouldn't go that far but it definitely covers the vast majority of them.
 
2009-06-13 05:23:46 PM  
It's amazing how Cracked's "list" articles can be hilarious and yet just about everything else on their site is so terrible.
 
2009-06-13 05:26:17 PM  
What about chest? They forgot that.
 
2009-06-13 05:26:39 PM  
Vanetia:
I have no tattoos. I don't plan to ever have one, but if I did get one, I'd probably get it on my ass like a My Little Pony :) Then the hard part would be deciding which pony I want to be. Firefly or Twilight? Applejack would just look some strange case of pimples or something, so that's right out.

I think I'd go for Moondancer, TE Masquerade or reverse Blossom.
 
2009-06-13 05:26:53 PM  

chopit: Gunderson: Signifies "Fail".

Signifies diabetes.


tmonews.comView Full Size
 
2009-06-13 05:26:57 PM  
oh, and mustache tattoos in no way scream douchebag. uh uh, no way...
 
2009-06-13 05:27:28 PM  
You people are obviously the weekend "B" team.

farm1.static.flickr.comView Full Size


There, now we're done. Let's move on to the next topic, shall we?
 
2009-06-13 05:28:31 PM  
Hot:
innocentsinner.comView Full Size


Not:
innocentsinner.comView Full Size
 
2009-06-13 05:29:34 PM  
But my mom says I'm edgy!
home.mchsi.comView Full Size


Also, "independent personality" IMO is a corollary. Stupid generalizations.

/all false, this one etc
 
2009-06-13 05:30:34 PM  

Karma Chameleon: Insecure, insecure, attention whore, whore. I think that sums up any possible explanation for tattoos.


Really? There's no possible reason to get one, other than to be an attention whore, or a whore, or insecure?

I've got one. Got it because I always wanted one, and wanted to see what it was like to get one, and have one. It's a fun hormone ride getting one, and during the fresh-phase, but after that, I completely forget I've got it.

/in his 'rebelious but socially acceptable zone' because he didn't want the world to see it
//it was for me, not anyone else
///probably advise others not to get one, just because it ages poorly
 
2009-06-13 05:31:01 PM  
img366.imageshack.usView Full Size



VIVA THE RESIDENTS!

/love my tattoos
 
2009-06-13 05:31:26 PM  
I'm curious what this douchebag thinks about calves, elbows, and all of the other fantastically difficult spots to artfully tattoo that require hours of work, an incredibly talented artist, and patience. Oh, wait, everybody who gets tattoos is a moron. Right.


/has wrist tattoos, marrying a guy who has hand tattoos, both of us make more money than whoever is writing for Cracked.
 
2009-06-13 05:32:04 PM  
Guys get tattoos on the back of their neck to give their boyfriends something to look at.
 
2009-06-13 05:32:29 PM  
Ugh- I hate barcode tats. OK mostly because I have one. I got it about 20 years ago. Then I started seeing them everywhere. Oh well, at least I don't have a tribal piece. I always wanted to have the japanese characters that mean 'I have no idea what this says'. It would make Japanese people laugh, and since laughing asians are funny, I'd get a laugh, too.
 
2009-06-13 05:32:39 PM  
wldncrzy14: Hot Hepatitis:
 
2009-06-13 05:33:16 PM  
Gee let me guess I'm a whore and white trash and no one will ever love me. Waaaaa.

/4 tatts
//so tired of the tattoo hate and the assumptions of my character that come with it
///totally prepared for douchebags on fark to comply with this way of thinking
 
2009-06-13 05:33:18 PM  

santadog: VIVA THE RESIDENTS!

/love my tattoos


So what's up with living in Austin in the winter and CO in the summer? Sounds like your missing the best of both...
 
2009-06-13 05:36:17 PM  

Gunderson: Signifies "Fail".


Yeah, never rely on the tattoo artist to get the spelling right. Then again, it's surprising she missed that before letting the ink go down.
 
2009-06-13 05:37:52 PM  

Sword and Shield: What about chest? They forgot that.


Nobody gets a tattoo on their chest! Cracked just told me so.
 
2009-06-13 05:38:33 PM  

wldncrzy14: Hot:


Not:


You forgot to put "zone" after the "hot"
 
2009-06-13 05:40:16 PM  

zippie26: santadog: VIVA THE RESIDENTS!

/love my tattoos

So what's up with living in Austin in the winter and CO in the summer? Sounds like your missing the best of both...


I own a scooter rental (new window) in Estes Park.

Missing the best of both? huh... When I left Austin it was the first day it hit 90f. I'm in Austin for New Years, SXSW and all the great winter weather.

Here, I work my ass off, and leave when the first snow hits.

Seems about perfecto to me.
 
2009-06-13 05:40:18 PM  
BS, the fairy/dragon stuff is ankle.

Also, I have forearm tattoos, and I've had board room meetings in San Fran with coworkers that have been in Forbes. I was in jeans and a t-shirt. Some companies are evolved, and actually judge their employees by education and experience.
 
2009-06-13 05:42:09 PM  
My tattoos aren't on Cracked's radar! B-b-b-b-but how will I know what personality I have??!?!?!

Is their next article going to be about what working at a third-rate humour magazine who hires the undergrad interns who never actually wrote for a full-paid staff position says about you?
 
2009-06-13 05:42:13 PM  

oogmar: I'm curious what this douchebag thinks about calves, elbows, and all of the other fantastically difficult spots to artfully tattoo that require hours of work, an incredibly talented artist, and patience. Oh, wait, everybody who gets tattoos is a moron. Right.


/has wrist tattoos, marrying a guy who has hand tattoos, both of us make more money than whoever is writing for Cracked.


A proper session of autoerotic asphixiation requires hours of work, an incredibly talented artist, and patience.
 
2009-06-13 05:42:20 PM  
unicron702: Some companies are evolved, and actually judge their employees by education and experience.

What if your employee is some idiot greenhorn but he's got some really badass tats? Do you still keep him on?
 
2009-06-13 05:42:55 PM  
Thinking of getting a tattoo on my forearm, but can't come up with anything I like so far. Want it to sympolize my son (Hunter), and be tasteful. This would be my third, so I guess I'm white trash and don't hold a job according to this 'list', right?
 
2009-06-13 05:43:43 PM  
re: hot

yeah. skip the formalities.

straight up her ass.
 
2009-06-13 05:43:45 PM  
Ennzie: and be tasteful.

Scorpion fighting a hand grenade.
 
2009-06-13 05:47:06 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.comView Full Size
 
2009-06-13 05:47:10 PM  

ultraholland: Ennzie: and be tasteful.

Scorpion fighting a hand grenade.


Awesome. I'm adding this to my 'maybe' list. Not sure about the symbolic thing, but still awesome
 
2009-06-13 05:47:15 PM  
This thread needs pictures of tramp stamps.

\Fail
 
2009-06-13 05:47:44 PM  

oogmar: I'm curious what this douchebag thinks about calves, elbows, and all of the other fantastically difficult spots to artfully tattoo that require hours of work, an incredibly talented artist, and patience. Oh, wait, everybody who gets tattoos is a moron. Right.


/has wrist tattoos, marrying a guy who has hand tattoos, both of us make more money than whoever is writing for Cracked.


drowningnotwaving.netView Full Size
 
Displayed 50 of 237 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report