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(Baltimore Sun)   Now that the pesky murder problem is solved Baltimore cracks down illegal turtle street vendors   (baltimoresun.com) divider line 75
    More: Silly  
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3154 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2009 at 2:16 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-06-11 11:39:02 AM  
Omar coming.....slowly.

/I have a nasty compulsion to make a Wire reference in any thread relating to Baltimore
 
2009-06-11 01:20:16 PM  
img246.imageshack.us

/obligatory
 
2009-06-11 02:17:07 PM  
on?
 
2009-06-11 02:18:07 PM  
In before zombie turtle kid
 
2009-06-11 02:18:50 PM  
They prefer undocumented turtle street vendors.
 
2009-06-11 02:18:58 PM  
I saw a turtle.
 
2009-06-11 02:21:00 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

What a Baltimore street vendor may look like.
 
2009-06-11 02:22:02 PM  
Anyone see a talking rat or a Samurai?
 
2009-06-11 02:22:39 PM  
But will Pembelton put the turtle in the Box?
 
2009-06-11 02:22:39 PM  
Turtles.

I got them turtle bags.

Turtles.
 
2009-06-11 02:24:13 PM  
"We clean your turtles!"
johnnycalifornia.com


/just because
 
2009-06-11 02:24:52 PM  
Those turtles were raised to be food.

That's it, I'm heading down to the Chinese market to pick up some live tilapia that I can sell to the public as aquarium fish.
 
2009-06-11 02:27:12 PM  
It's a little known fact that turtles are nature's suction cups
 
2009-06-11 02:27:23 PM  
I am afraid of turtles. No, seriously. I suffered turtle trauma as a kid, and now I'm scared to death of the red-eared devils.

It was the late 60s or early 70s and the government just outlawed the owning of the little critters. We had a tank with three or four tiny turtles in my classroom, and we kids took turns feeding and caring for them. One day, our teacher came in, picked up the tank, turned to us children and said, "Never, ever touch a turtle or you'll die," then walked out.

True story.
 
2009-06-11 02:29:40 PM  
You bet your sweet ass I am.
 
2009-06-11 02:29:54 PM  
Tortoises can make awesome pets, and they are far far easier to take care of than aquatic turtles like the Red Eared Sliders TFA talks about.

/the girlfriends sister has a turtle
//under pressure to make her officially my sister in law
///god that scares me
 
2009-06-11 02:30:13 PM  
"I like turtles"
img.photobucket.com
 
2009-06-11 02:30:59 PM  
The Dreaded Rear Admiral: In before zombie turtle kid

Hot link just for you

i292.photobucket.com
 
2009-06-11 02:31:49 PM  
Baltimore has turtles for street vendors?
 
2009-06-11 02:33:13 PM  
fc02.deviantart.com
/What a hot Baltimore Turtle might look like.
 
2009-06-11 02:35:10 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2009-06-11 02:36:54 PM  
No fear here.

www.cudaapparel.com

/hot
 
2009-06-11 02:39:58 PM  
Now if we could only do somthing about the heroin problem ...
 
2009-06-11 02:42:57 PM  
Taminator 2009-06-11 02:27:23 PM
I am afraid of turtles. No, seriously. I suffered turtle trauma as a kid, and now I'm scared to death of the red-eared devils.

It was the late 60s or early 70s and the government just outlawed the owning of the little critters. We had a tank with three or four tiny turtles in my classroom, and we kids took turns feeding and caring for them. One day, our teacher came in, picked up the tank, turned to us children and said, "Never, ever touch a turtle or you'll die," then walked out.

True story.


best. anecdote. evar.
 
2009-06-11 02:45:39 PM  
My Blandings turtle hisses, then swims away at such malarky
 
2009-06-11 02:46:18 PM  
Turtles are nasty smelly things. They are OK in the wild, I have no idea why someone would want one as a pet.
 
2009-06-11 02:47:16 PM  
Taminator: I am afraid of turtles. No, seriously. I suffered turtle trauma as a kid, and now I'm scared to death of the red-eared devils.

It was the late 60s or early 70s and the government just outlawed the owning of the little critters. We had a tank with three or four tiny turtles in my classroom, and we kids took turns feeding and caring for them. One day, our teacher came in, picked up the tank, turned to us children and said, "Never, ever touch a turtle or you'll die," then walked out.

True story.


You know, when I was a kid it was a similiar story. But I'm younger than you. This was around 1990 or 1991 and Ninja Turtles were all the rage. So I wanted a pet turtle. But my mom woudln't let me get one because "they carry all sorts of diseases". Sad panda to this day.

Sandinista81: The Dreaded Rear Admiral: In before zombie turtle kid

Hot link just for you


Artistic.
 
2009-06-11 02:47:54 PM  
But, but... they're the world's MOST fearsome fighting team.
 
2009-06-11 02:49:08 PM  
FTFA: Although it is illegal in Maryland to possess a turtle whose shell is less than 4 inches wide, there continues to be a thriving market for the small, red-eared sliders such as the ones the police seized. The people who buy the turtles may not realize that they can spread salmonella to children and can grow to be up to a foot long.

"The cuteness attraction isn't there with the big turtles like it is with these little guys," Lathroum said. Once the turtles reach their full size and people get tired of taking care of them, they are often released into Maryland waters as an invasive species.


Okay, yes they can spread salmonella... If they carry salmonella. They don't just spontaneously acquire salmonella. You're supposed to wash your hands before and after handling turtles. If you do, there's no problem.

The whole reason for the 4-inch restriction (which is actually a federal restriction -- not just the state of Maryland) is to keep kids from being able to put the things in their mouths. Red-eared sliders used to be known as "dime-store turtles" because you could buy the little baby turtles just about everywhere. They very rarely ever lived to adulthood, because the stores lied to customers about what's involved in properly raising sliders in captivity.

Yes, sliders can grow up to be a foot long, but it takes about 10 years for them to get that big, and they will only grow that big if you provide the correct environment for them, which most people don't. The turtles being sold by these street vendors are likely being given to little kids and kept in those little plastic kidney-shaped turtle pools (you know the ones -- with the little plastic palm tree up on the little basking platform). This is not the correct environment for a slider in captivity, and if you try raising one this way, you're going to kill it.

/used to raise RES
//loved the little critters
 
2009-06-11 02:49:28 PM  
Robot Devil's Advocate: But, but... they're the world's MOST fearsome fighting team.

AND they're green.
 
2009-06-11 02:49:40 PM  
www.comicbookmovie.com

/warm
 
2009-06-11 02:49:47 PM  
thereisnospoon: Taminator 2009-06-11 02:27:23 PM
I am afraid of turtles. No, seriously. I suffered turtle trauma as a kid, and now I'm scared to death of the red-eared devils.

It was the late 60s or early 70s and the government just outlawed the owning of the little critters. We had a tank with three or four tiny turtles in my classroom, and we kids took turns feeding and caring for them. One day, our teacher came in, picked up the tank, turned to us children and said, "Never, ever touch a turtle or you'll die," then walked out.

True story.

thereisnospoon: best. anecdote. evar.


So you can imagine my horror when I saw the "I like turtles" boy for the first time. My reaction was "OMG turtles are turning our children into zombies!"
 
2009-06-11 02:50:03 PM  
vernonFL: Turtles.

I got them turtle bags.

Turtles.


Heh.
 
2009-06-11 02:50:17 PM  
TFA: "Although it is illegal in Maryland to possess a turtle whose shell is less than 4 inches wide, there continues to be a thriving market for the small, red-eared sliders such as the ones the police seized. The people who buy the turtles may not realize that they can spread salmonella to children and can grow to be up to a foot long."

Another utterly retarded nanny-state law. You know how these turtles "spread" salmonella to children? When children put them in their mouths.
 
2009-06-11 02:52:51 PM  
snltranscripts.jt.org



Tippi Turtle: Hi, everybody! Well, enough small talk - we've got people to annoy! Today, we're gonna bother these guys - the hammerheads at the U.S. Post Office. Hee hee hee! Now, pay attention.

[ Tippi demonstrates in his home workshop ]

Get some real thin balsa wood, and glue it together like this. See? You make a little box! Then, you take a helium balloon and you put it inside like this. Then, wrap it up and address it! Take it downtown.

[ show Tippi Turtle standing in line at the Post Office ]

Hee hee hee! This is gonna be great! [ jumps excitedly ]

Postal Employee: Next.

Tippi Turtle: Yes. Good afternoon, Mr. United States Post Office Man. Now, you charge according to weight, is that correct?

Postal Employee: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just put it on the scale.

Tippi Turtle: Okee-dokee! [ places his box on the scale, but it floats upward ] Looks like you owe me some money, hammerhead!

Postal Employee: [ grabs box from midair, places it down again ] I don't know.. [ box floats away again ]

Tippi Turtle: [ bangs counter ] Are you gonna pay up, or not? I want my money! Fair is fair! [ leans close to the camera to whisper to the audience ] Be real obnoxious. Keep demanding money. Bother as many people as you can! [ leans back into the cartoon ] I want my money! Fair is fair!

[ a fight ensues, Tippi casually walks away ]

Tippi Turtle: Hee hee hee! Now, that's entertainment! Goodbye, everybody! See you next time!
 
2009-06-11 02:54:28 PM  
The Dreaded Rear Admiral: Taminator: I am afraid of turtles. No, seriously. I suffered turtle trauma as a kid, and now I'm scared to death of the red-eared devils.

It was the late 60s or early 70s and the government just outlawed the owning of the little critters. We had a tank with three or four tiny turtles in my classroom, and we kids took turns feeding and caring for them. One day, our teacher came in, picked up the tank, turned to us children and said, "Never, ever touch a turtle or you'll die," then walked out.

True story.

You know, when I was a kid it was a similiar story. But I'm younger than you. This was around 1990 or 1991 and Ninja Turtles were all the rage. So I wanted a pet turtle. But my mom woudln't let me get one because "they carry all sorts of diseases". Sad panda to this day.

Sandinista81: The Dreaded Rear Admiral: In before zombie turtle kid

Hot link just for you

Artistic.


TMNT were my three sons' favorite. I can still remember being creeped out while folding their TMNT underwear. Turning my head away helped. I crack myself up.
 
2009-06-11 02:54:50 PM  
/I saw a turtle head in mobtown once... cost me 7 bucks.
 
2009-06-11 02:55:13 PM  
Arabers must have snitched on em'.
 
2009-06-11 02:56:16 PM  
Omar coming.....slowly.

Damn that was good. Well done. Laughter and a thumbs up.
 
2009-06-11 02:58:57 PM  
Taminator:
TMNT were my three sons' favorite.

"Mine, too."
craighodgkins.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-06-11 02:59:56 PM  
Pay the Man: You bet your sweet ass I am.

Been ages since I thought about that. Used to be a card-carrying member.
 
2009-06-11 03:00:31 PM  
whut?
http://tinyurl.com/mb6pao
(copy and paste, NSFW)
 
2009-06-11 03:00:33 PM  
Dr.Knockboots: Omar coming.....slowly.

/I have a nasty compulsion to make a Wire reference in any thread relating to Baltimore


Boobies accuracy
 
2009-06-11 03:00:34 PM  
Pay the Man: You bet your sweet ass I am.

Ditto
 
2009-06-11 03:02:50 PM  
vernonFL: Turtles.

I got them turtle bags.

Turtles.


LOL!

/Turtledemic!
//TMD's!
///Turtle Rock!
 
2009-06-11 03:04:09 PM  
Cisco-Kid: Pay the Man: You bet your sweet ass I am.

Been ages since I thought about that. Used to be a card-carrying member.


"Are You a Turtle?" was painted on the side of a bar going down the Belle Chasse Highway across the river from New Orleans. Place called Verna's. It was there for years.

That was the only time, as kids, we got to say "ass", as we passed it in the car. Laughed our asses off.

Small times good times.
 
2009-06-11 03:05:33 PM  
GOD I HATE THIS HEADLINE CLICHE

it's not funny, it's not clever, and it's not satire.
 
2009-06-11 03:06:37 PM  
I can't figure out
If it's the end or beginning
But the train's put it's brakes on
And the whistle is screaming
TERRAPIN!!!!

most definitely DNRTFA
 
2009-06-11 03:06:53 PM  
I have a medium-sized red-eared slider.
 
2009-06-11 03:08:03 PM  
My wife bought one outside of a liquor store (big surprise) about 2 months ago and we put it our daughters 15 gallon aquarium with goldfish and other little fish. He seems to get along just fine and he looks cool and is fun to feed.

I don't know about when he gets to be a foot long though.
 
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