ima ban u frmo haeven if u do bad stuf

Should be "YHVH" instead of "JHVH". Otherwise pretty amusing.

18 bucks for this shiat?

if God went to 4 chan.

1. in b4 Boxy
2. Anon Delivers
3. Jesu
4. N***er N***er N***er
5. Sabbe
6. Sauce? Your Mom.
7. Jesu
8. TITs or GTFO
9. /h/umans are the cancer that is killing /e/arth
10. Sauce?

Lemme buy a cheapo website so I can get this gold greenlit too.

I liked his "Yub jub means 'devour the weak'" essay on Ewoks better.

Meh.

Awesome. This is a lot like the extremely hilarious emails with miles of FWD'ed addresses that subby's mom keeps sending me.

My rage kicks in just as fast for fake 'txt-speak' as for the real thing. I couldn't even finish TFA. I must find some nuns or puppies to punch now.


/Rage...taking...over...

This is not an amusing thing on the internet.

Who actually texts like this? I actually type a bit better than usual when I text due to predictive text.

That list made my brain hurt...

Well...that was stupid

AppleOptionEsc: if God went to 4 chan.

1. in b4 Boxy
2. Anon Delivers
3. Jesu
4. N***er N***er N***er
5. Sabbe
6. Sauce? Your Mom.
Over 9000 Jesu
8. TITs or GTFO
9. /h/umans are the cancer that is killing /e/arth
10. Sauce?

Lemme buy a cheapo website so I can get this gold greenlit too.

FTFY

I don't know why I clicked the link. I knew it wasn't going to be funny.

This is better Link (new window)

/by better I mean larger

Who actually texts like this?

TA says the god did.

Dunno?

Actual message recieved from a deluded born-again friend sitting on my old phone:

"jst wnt u2no u cn ALWAYS dpnd on the LORD whn ur trubbled rmmbr John316 'For GOD So Loved The World That He Gave His Only Begotten Son, That Whosoever Believes In Him Should Not Perish But Have Everlasting Life' i no u h8 Church bt cum tmmrw JESUS LOVES YOU cu bro"

Suffice to say, we are no longer friends. I think all that bible-bashing he was exposed to gave him an undiagnosed concussion, leading to eventual brain damage.

Boxxy reminds me of my ex.... I'm not too proud of that.

aerojockey: Ral

Should be "YHVH" instead of "JHVH". Otherwise pretty amusing.

YHWH.

JHVH makes sense according to Latin pronounciation.

But in Latin, JHVH begins with a I.

I'll admit it - I lol'd.

/mostly at 1 & 3.

JEHOVAH!
JOHOVAH!
JEHOVAH!!11!1!1!!

God doesn't text, He Twitters now.

/hot
//it's Jenova

mreuther: aerojockey: Ral

Should be "YHVH" instead of "JHVH". Otherwise pretty amusing.

YHWH.

JHVH makes sense according to Latin pronounciation.

But in Latin, JHVH begins with a I.


has taught you well...

AppleOptionEsc: /hot
//it's Jenova

You bring up a good point, why does Sephiroth get all this "ZOMG BASASS" crap when in most of the game it's Jenova disguised as Sephiroth? Sephiroth spends most of the game frozen.

/probably spelled something wrong, don't care
//FFIX > FFVII

spcefrk: mreuther: aerojockey: Ral

Should be "YHVH" instead of "JHVH". Otherwise pretty amusing.

YHWH.

JHVH makes sense according to Latin pronounciation.

But in Latin, JHVH begins with a I.


has taught you well...

WIN. I hoped someone would post this. Leaving happy.

This webpage assumes that the Protestants got their version of the commandment right.

Where's the text-speak Catholic commandments for the really big sinners?

Updated Ten Commandments

ONE: 'Thou shalt place no lukewarm beers before me.'

TWO: 'Thou shalt make for thyself a bootleg copy, of any copyrighted material, of any artist that walks the earth, or that is in the ground beneath the earth.'

THREE: 'Thou shalt not train in vain.'

FOUR: 'Remember the words to Black Sabbaths' "Holy Diver."

FIVE: 'Disregard thy babys' mother, for thou art not the father.'

SIX: 'Thou shalt not eat veggie burgers.'

SEVEN: 'Thou shalt not commit to any one woman.'

EIGHT: 'Thou shalt not leave witnesses.'

NINE: 'Thou shalt not wear a false hairpeice to impress thy neighbor.'

TEN: 'Thou shalt not care what thy neighbor's think.'

Monty Python's -- Crackpot Religions Ltd.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGkX-sY1W7U (pops)

It's not like I'm a Luddite, but I've never sent a text message in my life.

mandatory (get off my lawn)

mike4688: FOUR: 'Remember the words to Black Sabbaths' "Holy Diver."

That was Dio.

RaisedOnATARI: JEHOVAH!
JOHOVAH!
JEHOVAH!!11!1!1!!

+1 Monty Python reference

11. Bacon iz OK

Thou shalt honor thine BFF Jill

Best text I ever got, or at least of those I remember (since I got sober) is...

"You are adorable. You can jizz on my windshield any day".

Not sure if that breaks any commandments, I don't know all of them.

ah, the force is weak in this one.

ZAZ:
VII: n0 b0ink1ng ur fr13nd5 m0m

Lamest article ever.

THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS

1.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjigate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Dont Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build MultiMillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

Did BBspot finally get enough click through revenue to set up another website?