Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Mormon thoughts on dry humping, and a lot more. Like the action packed Mormon Bachelor Party.   (latterdaylampoon.com ) divider line
    More: Followup  
•       •       •

18455 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2003 at 12:28 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



277 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2003-02-15 12:31:03 AM  
I just can't.
/sorry
 
2003-02-15 12:32:30 AM  
What the hell?
 
2003-02-15 12:34:33 AM  
I've been to several moron bachelor parties. They are usually a blast.
 
2003-02-15 12:34:34 AM  
Mormonism...

If you could still marry multiple chicks... I'd convert...

I'd still be a heathen, but I'd have multiple chicks!
 
2003-02-15 12:36:09 AM  
Mormons are idiots.
 
2003-02-15 12:36:18 AM  
The hymen will grow back? WTF?
 
2003-02-15 12:36:46 AM  
ah, valentine's day....and yet another day on FARK.

Mormons are weird.
 
2003-02-15 12:37:12 AM  
Has that first girl offed herself yet?
 
2003-02-15 12:38:48 AM  
Anyone down for shaking the hand of a cold-hearted child molester?
 
2003-02-15 12:39:06 AM  
Heheheh... Marmots are funny.
[image from hoglezoo.org too old to be available]

Oh... heh.
/stoned
 
2003-02-15 12:39:47 AM  
Mormon chicks (younger ones) are so niave .. you can do just about anything to them .. i mean.. oh shiat
c:\deltree c:\stuff\secret\homemade_mormon_pr0n
 
2003-02-15 12:40:09 AM  
For parties it is strictly jello salad and scalloped potatoes !!! Yahoo !
 
2003-02-15 12:41:08 AM  
what. the. hell.
 
2003-02-15 12:41:48 AM  
I worked in an office once that was half Mormons and half Jehovah Witnesses. I lasted two weeks before I told my wife I would either quit or bring an AK-47 to work. When I left one of them told me I was the sick farker! Hey, S.E.S.: you guys enjoying that bancruptcy? I feel better. :)
 
2003-02-15 12:42:27 AM  
"I don't - want nobody else,
When I think of BYU - I touch myself..."

Wonder what they think of the SbB girls?
 
2003-02-15 12:42:40 AM  
Ha ha ha ha ha!


Oh wait? Thats a REAL religion?

Heh, God help them.
 
2003-02-15 12:43:41 AM  
I've had dreams of torturing mormons.

mmm tortured mormon
 
2003-02-15 12:43:59 AM  
"Editor's note: You may log on and get some emotional support at Recovery from Mormonism regarding your situation."

First sign of a quality religion.
 
2003-02-15 12:44:09 AM  
I like the Mormon naivte. The blind faith is a little disturbing though
 
2003-02-15 12:44:21 AM  
[image from mediaservice.photoisland.com too old to be available]

Hmmmmmmmmm...Marie....
 
2003-02-15 12:44:22 AM  
Trader Interesting string of DOS commands ya got there.
 
2003-02-15 12:44:38 AM  
I'd Hit It !!!!!!

.........oooops, wrong thread!
 
2003-02-15 12:47:32 AM  
She told me that at bachelor parties they do a dance(I don"t remember the name of it)but they take the bachelor and lay him on his back on a table and the stripper squats over his head and she pours a beer over her breasts and it pours down her body and goes off her bush and into the bachelor's mouth.

Well the Mormons wanted to do this dance but they didn't want to use beer so they had her pour caffeine free Dr Pepper. No alcohol, no caffine, but it was okay to have a naked woman straddled over his face and it was okay for his buddies to watch this event.


Organized religion. It really is strange how some people will twist their belief structure.
 
2003-02-15 12:52:35 AM  
Everyone should try to be a 15-year-old non-believing Mormon girl in Utah

I can give you one of those four.
 
2003-02-15 12:54:03 AM  
I grew up in Utah County(Provo) Utah. This is the heartland of mormons, but I'm not mormon. It's the farking twilight zone if you not a mo..

mo= short for mormon. Common tongue in Utah when referring to a mormon.

Anyway I turned out normal and Utah mormons are WIERD compared to other state mormons.

I'm with Impaler about organized religion. Some crazy shiat yo!
 
2003-02-15 12:55:41 AM  
I know a few Mormons (no, I'm not from Utah), and they're pretty perveted... seems that away from their influence (parents), they tend to act out.

More power to 'em!
 
2003-02-15 12:57:39 AM  
hmmm, after reading that i have a huge craving for caffeine free Dr Pepper
 
2003-02-15 12:57:59 AM  
Mormons, why travel overseas to experience repressive religious customs.
 
2003-02-15 12:58:15 AM  
mormon's aren't any more or less crazy than christians or muslims. to hell (figuratviely) with all of 'em... they're just cults.

"sedation of the masses"
 
2003-02-15 12:58:34 AM  
Nimper
I know a few Mormons (no, I'm not from Utah), and they're pretty perveted... seems that away from their influence (parents), they tend to act out.

I think that we, as concerned Farkers, should find these poor Mormon girls and help them.


Act out.
 
2003-02-15 12:59:15 AM  
Mormon girls. Especially the daughters of bishops.

Behind the door.. There a whore..

BYU
Where the girls are girls and the boys are too.

Mormons attending BYU's MTC(Missionary Training Center) are called Zoobies.
 
2003-02-15 12:59:59 AM  
bondith, we should "save them".
 
2003-02-15 01:00:15 AM  
"man chowder"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH​HHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
2003-02-15 01:00:15 AM  
Mormonism?

Just Say No.
 
2003-02-15 01:00:15 AM  
their URL is latterdaylampoon.com ... and people take it seriously? *sigh* It's actually a pretty funny site. My ex was raised Mormon and has more horror stories than my boring Lutheran arse.
 
2003-02-15 01:00:22 AM  
[image from mediaservice.photoisland.com too old to be available]
 
2003-02-15 01:04:00 AM  
Farkers,

I'm a Mormon and I can tell you that that site was not written by the people that claim to to be the authors of those stories. Their details and names of things are all wrong. Kind of like you would know if someone were quoting Ackbar saying "It's an ambush." I love reading the flames on here about Mormons. I am astounded at the volume of incorrect info. some people say is Mormon belief. If the story about the stripper and the Dr. Pepper is true, then those Mormons are doing something wrong in my eyes. There is no way you can justify what they did and make it correct. I believe in letting everyone believe whatever they want, as long as they grant me that same right. Fark is awesome, but the preoccupation with posting Mormon flame bait is annoying sometimes. On with some good Pshop contests!
 
2003-02-15 01:04:49 AM  
presenting....Brigham Young!

[image from newgenevacenter.org too old to be available]

I got 47 miles of barb wire
rattlesnake for a necktie
26 wives that I know of
made to give me sons
I got a religion that's run by me
makes me richer than God
now tell me, 15 year old Mormon girl,
who do ya love
yeah who do ya love


/go to sleep now
 
2003-02-15 01:05:55 AM  
I have friends that were baptizied mormon but when they hit their teens they rebeled against there hardcore mormon parents. In return their parents simply disowned them. Most hardcore mormons in Utah will place their mormon beliefs in front of their children. This means that if their male teen gets his ear pierced, or is caught dirnking or smoking pot they are kicked out of the house and dismembered from the family. I have friends that this has happend to. Their parents don't even condsider them their children. WEIRD SHIAT MAN!!!
 
2003-02-15 01:06:06 AM  
Wuapinmon - So, is it true that Mormons eat babies?
 
2003-02-15 01:06:24 AM  
Wuapinmon: I agree. Get informed.

www.exmormon.org
 
2003-02-15 01:06:43 AM  
I cant say my religeon is any better, but mormons are kinda freaky. Very religious, but yet believe in many wives? The farkers used to come to my house. About 10 years ago, my mom accidentally invited them in, how I have no idea. She teaches 3rd grade so by the end of the day shes already crazy. They seriously started sending teams of people back "just for a minute". I was 17 and told them to never come back or Ide kick their ass. They seemed shocked, like theve never heard that before...
I must say though, I like that part about stripper on head, pouring beer down breasts, and safely landing in mouth. Maybey I should reconsider my beliefs.
 
2003-02-15 01:06:47 AM  
Wuapinmon

please dont knock on my door.
 
2003-02-15 01:07:25 AM  
In my last post about the Dr. Pepper, what I meant to say was, "There is no way you can justify what they did in the teachings of our church." Sorry if it was unclear. I didn't want to seem like I was foisting my judgement on them. Merely trying to clarify how their actions would be viewed by other Mormons. But we are all sinners aren't we. Whether you have a religion or not, you have some sort of ethical ideology. Any time you go against what your conscience tells you, you are working as an exception to your moral code, and therefore to use the religious word, "sinning."
 
2003-02-15 01:07:29 AM  
What ever happened to the dude with the gold teeth? He was funny as shiat.. Someone should bring him back.
 
2003-02-15 01:08:27 AM  
Since there is a legit mormon here, I would like to ask a question. Why is it wrong to drink alcoholic beverages, when Jesus himself turned water into wine?
 
2003-02-15 01:08:40 AM  
bold! :\
 
2003-02-15 01:08:48 AM  
Haha, BYU is now the #1 school for dry-humping.

All the kids are doing it, shouldn't you too?
 
2003-02-15 01:09:37 AM  
Mevoriosis
...and dismembered from the family.

That's a little extreme. I mean, the Hebrews just insist on removing a little bit of foreskin. I wonder if Lorena Bobbitt was Mormon.
 
2003-02-15 01:10:19 AM  
I agree with Wuapinmon. I'm not Mormon, but my husband is, so I'm pretty familiar with the culture. This doesn't sound like any Mormons I know, and I know way too many of them.

Yeah, I'm sure there are some bishops who are inappropriate with their power, just as there are plenty of people in power positions in other churches who behave inappropriately. And we all know that people in all religions pick and choose which rules to follow and which to ignore if it's inconvenient.
 
Displayed 50 of 277 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report