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(Yahoo)   Trapeze artist attacks rival with castration tongs   (story.news.yahoo.com) divider line 77
    More: Scary  
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6844 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2003 at 5:17 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-02-14 12:44:37 PM  
Gotta admit the swinger had balls
 
2003-02-14 12:50:20 PM  
Castration tongs say so much.

[/Taupin]
 
2003-02-14 01:59:04 PM  
"And he was also fired from the circus"

A real sign of good journalism - tie up all the loose ends.
 
2003-02-14 03:41:06 PM  
He really had him by the balls.
 
2003-02-14 05:11:36 PM  
too...many...jokes....

must...not...succumb...
 
2003-02-14 05:19:30 PM  
why the hell would there ever be such a thing as 'castration tongs' invented?
can't think straight right now, thats just......aahhh


...hold me
 
2003-02-14 05:20:51 PM  
He went for the balls, with the greatest of ease,
He's the angry old man, who used to trapeze !

Lala la la la la .....
 
2003-02-14 05:20:57 PM  
Damn, I read one too many Fark stories before the weekend.
 
2003-02-14 05:21:36 PM  
As the acrobat's mother, I apologize to all the family of the victim of the castration method. It won't happen again, I assure you. I have begun a punishment with my son involving a hot rod and no Vaseline products.

Once again, very sorry.
 
2003-02-14 05:22:04 PM  
He swings through the air with the greatest of ease. He's the daring young man who WANTS TO CASTRATE YOU!
 
2003-02-14 05:22:31 PM  
Where do you buy castration tongs? I already checked Staples, Wal-Mart, and Nieman-Marcus. No luck.
 
2003-02-14 05:23:00 PM  
But did they have pie afterwards?
 
2003-02-14 05:23:21 PM  
Just do it France, you know you want to surrender.
 
2003-02-14 05:24:03 PM  
Damn you Tonya!
 
2003-02-14 05:24:21 PM  
He was also fired from the circus.

that's not a good thing for the ol' résumé.
 
2003-02-14 05:24:32 PM  
im glad he was fired from the circus...... but i hope hes hired over at the freak show
 
2003-02-14 05:24:48 PM  
 
2003-02-14 05:24:51 PM  
"Fortunately the factory worker didn't lose anything -- except for a lot of blood,"

I don't find losing a lot of blood fortunate.
 
2003-02-14 05:25:28 PM  
The Human Cannonball wasn't the only one fired that day.
 
2003-02-14 05:26:27 PM  
Staev: The Sharper Image
 
2003-02-14 05:26:43 PM  
Gooble Gobble, Gooble Gobble, we will make her one of us
Gooble Gobble, Gooble Gobble, we will make her one of us
Gooble Gobble, Gooble Gobble, we will make her one of us
 
2003-02-14 05:27:21 PM  
So THAT'S how Goldmember's "unfortunate smelting accident" happened. The circus freak used to work at a smelting plant before becoming a trapeze artist. Poor dude's got a fixation.

/stupid me
 
2003-02-14 05:28:09 PM  
'castration tongs'? you mean there are tongs specifically made for castration?
 
2003-02-14 05:29:58 PM  
<>
 
2003-02-14 05:31:34 PM  
Serves em' right!
That's what you get for mowin' another guy's lawn.

...But where the hell does a trapeze artist get castration tongs?

...and the word "tongs" seems a little too goofy a word to describe the instrument designed to rip the testicles off an animal. They should be renamed:

- "Life-Wreckers"
- "Please God No!!!!"
- "AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
 
2003-02-14 05:32:22 PM  
Where do you buy castration tongs? I already checked Staples, Wal-Mart, and Nieman-Marcus. No luck.

Staev, you forgot to check eBay.

 
2003-02-14 05:33:23 PM  
"Trapeze artist swings towards violence, makes ballsy attack with castration tongs."
 
2003-02-14 05:35:15 PM  
There are just some items that you know you have to check out the comments on....
 
2003-02-14 05:40:45 PM  


Oww. And the factory worker still managed to fight him off. Oww.
 
2003-02-14 05:41:45 PM  
What, no photo?
 
2003-02-14 05:42:15 PM  
Shouldn't PETA protest the invention of these castration tongs?
 
2003-02-14 05:43:02 PM  
He who lives by the tongs, risks going "Aaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!" by the tongs.
 
2003-02-14 05:46:35 PM  
Mutated-Snoopy:
AAAOOOOWWWW!!! WTF!? Why!? My crotch is in the worst pain ever just for looking at that!

*wince*
mmmffrghhh...
 
2003-02-14 05:48:06 PM  
There are just some items that you know you have to check out the comments on....

That too....But I was here looking for all the people who said.....

"Damn. I submitted this a week a go with a funnier headline...."

"...Nut Job loses his act....."

".......Fumbled castration attempt leaves Circus Freak bitter but still all-alligator-man........."

"...Circus clown castrates fellow carnie. Hilarity ensues.."

".....Man almost nutted. Crusty not available for comment......"

[/Insert PS Logo]
 
2003-02-14 05:49:24 PM  
I now have a castration tongs phobia. Thanks a lot, farkers.
 
2003-02-14 05:50:58 PM  
I think I just blacked out. Enough with the pictures!
 
2003-02-14 05:51:45 PM  
Did they look like this?

 
2003-02-14 05:52:11 PM  
Edhellen:

You think that's bad? YOU do a GIS for castration! First person to mention Rocky Mountian Oysters is getting slapped.
 
2003-02-14 05:53:05 PM  
Two things:

Thing 1: Owowowowowowowowowowowow. The article was bad enough. Leave it to fark to include pictures. Still waiting on the video.

Thing, the Second: /whineon I submitted this this morning :( /whineoff
 
2003-02-14 05:55:38 PM  
"Balls on! / CLACK CLACK / Balls off! ..."
 
2003-02-14 05:59:12 PM  
Perhaps he was also trying to make some extra money like this guy, <a href=http://www.univenter.com/p_kangaroo_scrotum_bottle_opener.html>here< ;/a>.
 
2003-02-14 06:00:15 PM  
those crazy German circus-folk! no telling what those wacky fellas might do next.

Footnote- Mutated-Snoopy:
I wasn't insulting your GIF there, fella. I can't even do 'em.
 
2003-02-14 06:00:38 PM  
How about this? here
 
2003-02-14 06:01:00 PM  



Sorry GoodyearPimp, I couldn't resist.



I don't even want to know what the metal thingy on th right is for.



Cheers

 
2003-02-14 06:02:08 PM  
Well, I suck... please copy and paste

http://www.univenter.com/p_kangaroo_scrotum_bottle_opener.html
 
2003-02-14 06:04:15 PM  
Circus worker's nuts get cut off, fed to elephants.
sorry, I know that was lame.
 
2003-02-14 06:13:27 PM  
Anyone heard from Ace Lightning?
 
2003-02-14 06:16:54 PM  
"The trick is to snip them off real high to keep the flavor"


/Chevy chase>
 
2003-02-14 06:20:11 PM  
Anybody heard the hot new Sisqo single for 2003? It's called the "Tong Song". It's driving the kids nuts.

"Let me see that toooong. That tong-ta-tong-tong-tong."
 
2003-02-14 06:20:36 PM  
Obligatory Simpsons Reference:

Ktoktok- Are you enjoying your ox testicle?

Homer- Uh-huh.

Ktoktok- You... sure you wouldn't rather have a coconut?

Homer- Nah, I'm good.
 
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