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(CNN)   Police find missing 555-lb teenager by looking in any direction   ( edition.cnn.com) divider line
    More: Obvious  
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19258 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2009 at 8:53 AM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



235 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-05-22 07:32:00 AM  
My favorite line from the article was the boy "is possibly at a stage of critical health risk."

Ya think?
 
2009-05-22 08:04:26 AM  
"The defendant has avoided the custody proceeding and has concealed the child," the warrant says.

How the hell did she conceal him?
Behind 200 empty KFC buckets?
 
2009-05-22 08:21:46 AM  
There was a show on TLC called Half-ton Dad. During said show, they were talking about a kid that was almost as huge, at about 15 if I recall correctly.

As they filmed, Mom brought him food 3 times and rubbed his feet and helped him move around. Turns out she had lost a child before he was born, IIRC. She was killing her second kid so that he couldn't leave her.

While he was in the hospital, mom kept bringing food because 'he was hungry'. It was really disgusting.
 
2009-05-22 08:32:50 AM  
Was he missing, or just at large?
 
2009-05-22 08:40:56 AM  

benlonghair: As they filmed, Mom brought him food 3 times and rubbed his feet and helped him move around. Turns out she had lost a child before he was born, IIRC. She was killing her second kid so that he couldn't leave her.

While he was in the hospital, mom kept bringing food because 'he was hungry'. It was really disgusting.


I saw that show. What the woman really needed was an extreme psychiatric intervention, and for social services to take her child into protective custody. Her husband probably deserved to be jailed for neglect, as well, since he basically sat back and let it all happen.
 
2009-05-22 08:55:59 AM  

eharac: My favorite line from the article was the boy "is possibly at a stage of critical health risk."

Ya think?


In all fairness, he could be twelve feet tall.
 
2009-05-22 08:56:23 AM  

RoxtarRyan: Was he missing, or just at large?


And we have a winner.
 
2009-05-22 08:56:29 AM  
Damn kid has his own zip code ...
 
2009-05-22 08:57:08 AM  
South Carolina. North Carolina's retarded Siamese Twin
 
2009-05-22 08:57:21 AM  
www.all4humor.com
 
2009-05-22 08:57:45 AM  

RoxtarRyan: Was he missing, or just at large?


this

Come on morons, at what point do you say to yourself, "I am to fat and need to lose weight". I say it to myself when I hit 175.
 
2009-05-22 08:58:15 AM  
That's no moon, that's the missing teenager.
 
2009-05-22 08:58:29 AM  

ScottMpls: Damn kid has his own zip code ...


Own congressman...
 
2009-05-22 08:59:47 AM  

benlonghair: There was a show on TLC called Half-ton Dad. During said show, they were talking about a kid that was almost as huge, at about 15 if I recall correctly.

As they filmed, Mom brought him food 3 times and rubbed his feet and helped him move around. Turns out she had lost a child before he was born, IIRC. She was killing her second kid so that he couldn't leave her.

While he was in the hospital, mom kept bringing food because 'he was hungry'. It was really disgusting.


That's the thing about those extraordinarily obese people. At some point, you're not mobile enough to go get a case of funyuns, so there has to be some enabler in your life helping to kill you.
 
2009-05-22 09:00:14 AM  

eharac: My favorite line from the article was the boy "is possibly at a stage of critical health risk."

Ya think?


Christ, he was at a critical health risk 250 pounds ago.
 
2009-05-22 09:00:16 AM  
I think he was hiding at the local drive-in theater. They were showing movies on his back.
 
2009-05-22 09:00:53 AM  
img.photobucket.com

And the premium textless version:
img.photobucket.com

/neither are mine
 
2009-05-22 09:01:56 AM  

Shrinkwrap: ScottMpls: Damn kid has his own zip code ...

Own congressman...


More chins than the Bejing white pages.
 
2009-05-22 09:02:01 AM  
Thisbymaster
I am to fat

As fish is to bicycle? As buffalo fart is to breath? As what is to what?
 
2009-05-22 09:02:30 AM  

Thisbymaster: RoxtarRyan: Was he missing, or just at large?

this

Come on morons, at what point do you say to yourself, "I am to fat and need to lose weight". I say it to myself when I hit 175.


I say it at 195.
/192 right now... fark
 
2009-05-22 09:03:01 AM  

gambitsgirl: South Carolina. North Carolina's retarded Siamese Twin


As a yankee relocated to NC, I can't tell you how true that is. I used to think every state south of New York was an identical mishmash of semi-retardation and shallow gene pools. How wrong I was.

/Please forgive me, NC
 
2009-05-22 09:03:16 AM  

Phungky_phreek: Thisbymaster
I am to fat

As fish is to bicycle? As buffalo fart is to breath? As what is to what?


As 10 pounds of s*** is to a five-pound bag
 
2009-05-22 09:04:00 AM  
The kid joined up with my failing single a hockey franchise, we figure we can put him in as goalie and finally have a draw that will get the asses in the seats.
 
2009-05-22 09:04:21 AM  

Maynard G. Muskievote: benlonghair: There was a show on TLC called Half-ton Dad. During said show, they were talking about a kid that was almost as huge, at about 15 if I recall correctly.

As they filmed, Mom brought him food 3 times and rubbed his feet and helped him move around. Turns out she had lost a child before he was born, IIRC. She was killing her second kid so that he couldn't leave her.

While he was in the hospital, mom kept bringing food because 'he was hungry'. It was really disgusting.

That's the thing about those extraordinarily obese people. At some point, you're not mobile enough to go get a case of funyuns, so there has to be some enabler in your life helping to kill you.


This. Usually the enabler has experienced past loss and thinks they are making up for it by catering to the demands of the obese person. It's really sad when you think about it. It's a relationship based on co-dependence. Both parties know they have a problem, they just don't want to solve it.
 
2009-05-22 09:04:42 AM  
TFA headline:


Authorities arrest mom for medical neglect of 555-pound teen


TFA first sentence:


(CNN) -- South Carolina authorities have located a 555-pound teenager and his mother, who faces a charge of violating a custody order, police said Thursday.


I sincerely hope she is charged with both offenses.
 
2009-05-22 09:04:49 AM  

Marla Singer's Laundry: Phungky_phreek: Thisbymaster
I am to fat

As fish is to bicycle? As buffalo fart is to breath? As what is to what?

As 10 pounds of s*** is to a five-pound bag


My Dad used to call them Blivets
 
2009-05-22 09:06:23 AM  
It's Me Bender

I will never understand Magic: The Gathering in any respect, but I love those made-up cards.
 
2009-05-22 09:06:23 AM  
he is reaching critical mass.
 
2009-05-22 09:06:38 AM  

Marla Singer's Laundry


As 10 pounds of s*** is to a five-pound bag


I believe that's called a 'blivet'.
 
2009-05-22 09:07:19 AM  

Maynard G. Muskievote: gambitsgirl: South Carolina. North Carolina's retarded Siamese Twin

As a yankee relocated to NC, I can't tell you how true that is. I used to think every state south of New York was an identical mishmash of semi-retardation and shallow gene pools. How wrong I was.

/Please forgive me, NC


I'm 5th generation NC Native and we forgive you. We are use to people calling us by our twins name - it saddens us but if you come down and visit and recognize the difference then we are happy.
 
2009-05-22 09:07:37 AM  
i2.cdn.turner.com

Don't call me Albert
 
2009-05-22 09:07:58 AM  

Shrinkwrap: ScottMpls: Damn kid has his own zip code ...

Own congressman...


Norm Coleman will probably be looking for work soon
 
2009-05-22 09:08:12 AM  

Oroblanco: It's Me Bender

I will never understand Magic: The Gathering in any respect, but I love those made-up cards.


that is a good one It's Me Bender...
 
2009-05-22 09:08:42 AM  
Police find missing 555-lb teenager by tossing a rock in the air and watching which way the gravity pulls it.
 
2009-05-22 09:08:49 AM  

necropoultryac: "The defendant has avoided the custody proceeding and has concealed the child," the warrant says.

How the hell did she conceal him?
Behind 200 empty KFC buckets?


images.indiebound.com
 
2009-05-22 09:10:50 AM  

Cheron: That's no moon, that's the missing teenager.


A Black Moon Rising?

/yes...I got the reference, just could not go anywhere with it...
//course, this is a lame response - I will not even post it
 
2009-05-22 09:11:22 AM  
I thought they found him in Delaware yesterday.....
 
2009-05-22 09:11:25 AM  
When reached for comment, authorities said that their first step in tracking the missing teen was 'looking downhill'.
 
2009-05-22 09:13:09 AM  

old_toole: I say it at 195.
/192 right now... fark


Eh, most guys I know have weights that fluctuate ~5lbs week to week, so don't sweat that unless you're 5'2". It isn't hard to drop weight to a degree; after my gallbladder surgery, I shot up to 215 or so, due to a variety of factors including how my body digests certain foods now, and the fact that I couldn't do shiat for a while without running the risk of busting my internal stitches (I missed out on a good 2 months of splitting wood).

Starting in late November, just by cutting back what I ate (k, sometimes I went for a run or a bike ride, but no more than 3 times in that time period), I dropped down to 190 by the end of March or so. Without exercising, mind you! Just by going on more regular bike rides for an hour or so a few times a week, I'm down to 185. 30 farking pounds lost, and it didn't take a whole lot of work, just a "put down the fork, fatty" mentality.
 
2009-05-22 09:13:44 AM  
Alex Draper

That kid almost had a normal name, but then mom had to ghetto it all up by giving him Deundray for a middle name, which as we know is an even more retarded (if possible) version of D'Andre.
 
2009-05-22 09:14:09 AM  
HOLY F*CK THAT KID IS FAT! Hey Alexander Deundray Draper, I hope you find this comment when you're Googling yourself in the year 2015. Are you still FAT AS A GODDAMN WHALE?

Can I rent you for my kid's 3rd Birthday Bash? The neighborhood is coming over and what with the brownouts here in California again since the Republicans took back the Whitehouse in 2012 I'm not sure if the compressor for the Bounce Castle will stay on. I'll let you lick the frosting off the cake knife and cardboard support tray in exchange.
 
2009-05-22 09:15:47 AM  
Probably off topic - but how can the article include a pic of the son, but not the mother?

I mean, yeah, we all just really want to see the fat kid, but isn't it usually the other way around?
 
2009-05-22 09:15:52 AM  
Headso- Dude, highest save pct./ lowest GAA OF ALL TIME, AT ANY LEVEL, EVER.
 
2009-05-22 09:19:20 AM  

RoxtarRyan: Was he missing, or just at large?


+1
 
2009-05-22 09:20:06 AM  
old_toole 2009-05-22 09:02:30 AM
Thisbymaster: RoxtarRyan: Was he missing, or just at large?

this

Come on morons, at what point do you say to yourself, "I am to fat and need to lose weight". I say it to myself when I hit 175.

I say it at 195.
/192 right now... fark


Saying at 175 now myself.
/remembering when I was saying it at 150...maybe it's all muscle...
 
2009-05-22 09:20:11 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: eharac: My favorite line from the article was the boy "is possibly at a stage of critical health risk."

Ya think?

In all fairness, he could be twelve feet tall.


Cliff: "What are you up to, Norm?"
Norm: "My ideal weight if I was eleven feet tall,"
Oblig
 
2009-05-22 09:20:34 AM  
What weight do people stop being human shaped and switch to amorphous blob. This kid looks like he hit that point a long time ago.

As much as I hate reality TV The Biggest Loser is amazing in how they take blobs and turn them back into humans in 6 months.
 
2009-05-22 09:20:41 AM  

tartcake: he is reaching critical mass.


Is that *cough* why he's black?

Cheron: That's no moon, that's the missing teenager.


Look at the size of that thing!
 
2009-05-22 09:20:57 AM  
It could just be a thyroid problem.
 
2009-05-22 09:22:19 AM  
I'd like to help that kid, but it would take me two trains and a bus to get on his good side.
 
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