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(Some Guy)   "Man, I am so bored. Think I will go home." *knockknock* "Hi. We need you back at the courthouse, but not as a juror this time."   (kptv.com ) divider line 90
    More: Dumbass  
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21173 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 May 2009 at 3:10 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-05-20 03:12:23 AM  
If he'd just have lied his way out of it in the first place like a normal person, he wouldn't have had to worry about it.
 
2009-05-20 03:12:41 AM  
This guy does not look like the sharpest tool in the shed.
 
2009-05-20 03:13:13 AM  

bersl2: This guy does not look like the sharpest tool in the shed.


How's he going to find a jury of his peers?
 
2009-05-20 03:14:41 AM  
He was way too consumed with solving the 43rd Euler algorithm to be bothered with such pedestrian affairs.
 
2009-05-20 03:16:39 AM  
One spiffy thing about being a nutty libertarian, is that I don't even have to lie to get out of jury duty.


Or you could use the classic: "Where's the whites only fountain?"
 
2009-05-20 03:16:49 AM  
Dont worry everyone. When you get arrested for a crime you didnt commit, these kinds of people are on the job as your jury. Good luck!
 
TJT
2009-05-20 03:17:32 AM  
This is cliche but remember that if you are being tried for something you are dealing with people too stupid to get out of jury duty.
 
2009-05-20 03:20:52 AM  

bersl2: This guy does not look like the sharpest tool in the shed.


Could he even fit in the shed? Geez, is everyone in America overweight these days?
 
2009-05-20 03:25:17 AM  

thisisarepeat: One spiffy thing about being a nutty libertarian, is that I don't even have to lie to get out of jury duty.


Or you could use the classic: "Where's the whites only fountain?"


I find that wearing a t-shirt with "Ask me about jury nullification" on it does the trick quite nicely. You don't even have to say anything.
 
2009-05-20 03:33:03 AM  
FTA: Faber could spend six months in jail if found guilty; however, jail time is typically dropped if civic duty is completed.

So a guy looking at a six-month sentence might be returning as a juror? This article needs more details.
 
2009-05-20 03:36:22 AM  
The real question is: What jury would convict him?
 
2009-05-20 03:47:04 AM  
Honest to God, what a farking retard.

I got called for jury duty 37 years ago when I was in grad school. I showed up for jury selection and voire dire, but prepared to get rejected. The two cases on selection that day were a rape case and a drug bust.

On the first, I was prepared to answer the defense questions with "I think all rapists should have their nutsacks nailed to a post, handed a dull, rusty knife and then have the post set on fire." On the second, since the prosecution was asking all prospective jurors if they had any problems with the drug laws, I would naswer, "Yes, I do. Pot should be decriminalized." Instant out on both.

At the end of the first day, I approached a baliff and explained that as a grad student, I could not afford to be picked as a juror. He helpfully told me to present a note the next day for the judge and I would be excused. I did and I was. No problem

Skip forward twenty years and I got called to serve again, but in another city. As it turned out, it was no big deal. I was then just newly out of work as the company I worked for had closed its local office and I had a nice severance package. While I was still looking for work, I was OK and unemployment insurance would soon kick in. I went down to the courthouse in a suit and tie, brougt along a magazine and a book to keep me occupied and all was cool. We sat there nearly all day until we were all called into the courtroom. The judge apologised for the inconvenience. The case was of a car load of Mexicans who got pulled over for speeding on I-80 and were found with a whole crapload of weed. After one interpretor/translator failed to show up and one had to travel in three or four hours and then the Mexicans finally decided to go with a plea deal, the day was almost over. We were all excused and told we were now exempt from jury duty for ten years.

In short, this moron hadn't the sense to prepare himself and he deserves to get slapped down, just on principle.
 
2009-05-20 03:48:05 AM  

thirdful: Dont worry everyone. When you get arrested for a crime you didnt commit, these kinds of people are on the job as your jury. Good luck!


Yeah, too bad the country is so full of self-important twat waffles who can't be bothered to do their civic duty. Nice to see that our nations legal system is in the hands of morons.

/Served.
//Twice.
 
2009-05-20 03:51:20 AM  

berylman: He was way too consumed with solving the 43rd Euler algorithm to be bothered with such pedestrian affairs.


Dammit, you got my interest up so I Googled "43rd Euler algorithm" and the only result was this thread.
 
2009-05-20 03:56:25 AM  

Ed Grubermann:

Yeah, too bad the country is so full of self-important twat waffles who can't be bothered to do their civic duty. Nice to see that our nations legal system is in the hands of morons.

/Served.
//Twice.


Ed Grubermann.. you are truly a master of Tai Kwon Leep.

seriously, THIS.

I only served once on a double misdemeanor trial (seriously) and after three MFing days of deliberations, the juror that was asleep or playing his PSP half the time refused to convict. Eleven men and women were very close to facing homicide charges that day.
 
2009-05-20 04:01:30 AM  

untaken_name: If he'd just have lied his way out of it in the first place like a normal person, he wouldn't have had to worry about it.


And if that had been the case, he should've been prosecuted for that instead.
 
2009-05-20 04:03:32 AM  
If you're going to blow off jury duty, do it when you get the summons, not after you have been selected.

They should make it when you get selected for jury duty that you don't get to get out of it. You either serve on a jury or you perform some other public service for the same amount of time. Then jury duty will seem like the preferred route to satisfy your public service requirement rather than picking up garbage or some other undesireable job.

/being judged by a typical jury is a scary thought
 
2009-05-20 04:03:58 AM  
wow
 
2009-05-20 04:10:55 AM  

WFern: untaken_name: If he'd just have lied his way out of it in the first place like a normal person, he wouldn't have had to worry about it.

And if that had been the case, he should've been prosecuted for that instead.


Ok, ok, fine. He shoulda just mentioned jury nullification, then. That way he can legally get out of it. Happy? Geez. The people on this forum are so nitpicky, you'd think they were mostly geeky, nerdy types. Gahhhh.
 
2009-05-20 04:13:14 AM  

Befuddled: They should make it when you get selected for jury duty that you don't get to get out of it. You either serve on a jury or you perform some other public service for the same amount of time.


Up here in Alaska they've got better than that (I know, because I missed a phone call to the jury duty hot line.) The jury pool is made up of all Alaskans 18 or older who have sighed up for the PFD (that "free money" check we get every year). Don't serve when called, don't get a check. Now, they don't go after your check the first time. They know that shiat happens. If you miss once you get a summons and you pick a month to be back in the pool. Miss that time and they get angry.

So, if you really don't want to serve on a jury in Alaska simply forgo that free money.
 
2009-05-20 04:52:22 AM  

Remove all Republicans: bersl2: This guy does not look like the sharpest tool in the shed.

How's he going to find a jury of his peers?


Hm...maybe at the Republican or Democratic conventions?
 
2009-05-20 05:14:15 AM  
Fat, bored, and stupid is no way to go through jury duty, son.
 
2009-05-20 05:46:28 AM  

Unobtanium: Fat, bored, and stupid is no way to go through jury duty, son.


I dunno, it worked for me last time I had jury duty. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
 
2009-05-20 05:58:27 AM  
Last time I was called for Jury Duty the defense attorney asked if anyone in the jury pool had any thoughts or experience with police officers as observers. I raised my hand and truthfully stated my belief that police officers are trained observers, meaning they are trained to see and take note of things that the average person is not. I stated that most police officers could glance at you and make a better than average educated guess at your height weight and age and most likely tick off at least 3 identifying items in your dress that most people would miss. I also stated that my uncle is a career police officer.

After I spoke several other people raised their hands and said similar things. The prosecutor glared at me for opening the flood gates on the very first question. I was dismissed in the first go round and was outa there before 11 am.
 
2009-05-20 06:17:04 AM  

untaken_name: Ok, ok, fine. He shoulda just mentioned jury nullification, then. That way he can legally get out of it. Happy?...


Sure, provided he gets his ass kicked. My point was that you're a failure as a citizen if you look to avoid jury duty.
 
2009-05-20 06:31:51 AM  

TedSallis: Last time I was called for Jury Duty the defense attorney asked if anyone in the jury pool had any thoughts or experience with police officers as observers. I raised my hand and truthfully stated my belief that police officers are trained observers, meaning they are trained to see and take note of things that the average person is not. I stated that most police officers could glance at you and make a better than average educated guess at your height weight and age and most likely tick off at least 3 identifying items in your dress that most people would miss. I also stated that my uncle is a career police officer.

After I spoke several other people raised their hands and said similar things. The prosecutor glared at me for opening the flood gates on the very first question. I was dismissed in the first go round and was outa there before 11 am.


Really sad fact is that defense lawyers want nothing to do with cops/former cops/family or friends of cops on the juries. Asking if any of the jurors fall in one of those catagories is usually one of the first few questions, and any that raise their hands get removed from the jury pool for cause.

Dang Lawyers.
 
2009-05-20 07:12:57 AM  
"I believe in the right of juries to exercise nullification and would have no ethical qualms about informing my peers"

Or would that get me back as a defendant?
 
2009-05-20 07:16:51 AM  
Aulus I would naswer, "Yes, I do. Pot should be decriminalized." Instant out on both.

Have you considered that one of the reasons our country is so farked up is that people like you, who realize that the drug laws are immoral, aren't willing to lie (in protest) in order to get on a jury? In any case where the state is about to take away a person's freedom and you look around and you see that there's no victim, the system is farked up and you ought to do whatever you can/have to do in order to get justice for that person.

I would consider it a duty to get on that jury and make sure that person doesn't go to jail (assuming this was a nonviolent drug offense).
 
2009-05-20 07:49:18 AM  
Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.*


* - Unless you're a juror. Oh yeah, and pay your taxes or else...
 
2009-05-20 07:50:43 AM  

Tofu: I would consider it a duty to get on that jury and make sure that person doesn't go to jail (assuming this was a nonviolent drug offense).


Jury Nullification for the win. Certain states have attempted to basically criminalize* it, but whenever a case actually gets anywhere in the courts, the right is re-affirmed.

*For example, the Juror's oath will include shiat like you have to listen to the judge on what the law is, other jurors are encouraged to rat you out if you find fault with the law, etc. I forget the specifics, I'm sure a quick google search will give you what you want.
 
2009-05-20 08:01:15 AM  
That happened the last time I was on Jury Duty. One of the folks apparently was a secretary for an attorney nearby. After about an hour, she slipped out and went back to her office (where she was helpling prep a case for trial), with a note to the clerk to ring her if she came up on a panel. Sure enough, 2PM the clerks were rushing all over the building trying to find this lady.

I never did hear what the judge had to say about it.
 
2009-05-20 08:07:12 AM  
i209.photobucket.com
 
2009-05-20 08:24:51 AM  

WFern: untaken_name: Ok, ok, fine. He shoulda just mentioned jury nullification, then. That way he can legally get out of it. Happy?...

Sure, provided he gets his ass kicked. My point was that you're a failure as a citizen if you look to avoid jury duty.


Yeah, you fail as a citizen if you don't jump for joy at the opportunity to sit in the lobby of a courthouse for 8 hours waiting to see if anyone acknowledges the fact that you even bothered to show up. What a loser.


/appeared 4 times
 
2009-05-20 08:33:00 AM  
I was called to jury duty once, and I went and really hoped that I would get picked. I don't get why everyone hates it so much. (Besides the whole being there all day and not, ultimately, getting picked for the jury part).
 
2009-05-20 08:52:02 AM  
As above, just make sure you mention Jury Nullification during Voir Dire and you are good to go.
 
2009-05-20 09:01:08 AM  
just dont show up. And if they ever call you on it, you just say you never got the letter. Worst it could ever come to, at least in Chicago, is a $500 fine. With the amount of business I would lose by getting tied up in a month long court case $500 is well worth it.
 
2009-05-20 09:02:22 AM  

peachgirl: I was called to jury duty once, and I went and really hoped that I would get picked. I don't get why everyone hates it so much. (Besides the whole being there all day and not, ultimately, getting picked for the jury part).


You realize you can get on case that lasts weeks if not months, right?
 
2009-05-20 09:14:13 AM  
I was a juror on a murder case once. It was awesome.
 
2009-05-20 09:22:35 AM  

FeeltheIllinoise: peachgirl: I was called to jury duty once, and I went and really hoped that I would get picked. I don't get why everyone hates it so much. (Besides the whole being there all day and not, ultimately, getting picked for the jury part).

You realize you can get on case that lasts weeks if not months, right?


Generally not in the sort of jury duty that you are typically summoned to. Typically it's a 1 or 2 day trial for a drug bust or something stupid like that.

I've been called for Jury duty every single year since I've turned 18, sometimes twice in a single year (usually a few months after getting a deferment due to being in school, only to have it deferred again for being in school).

I've been summoned to the state-level jury duty (I can't recall what the specific court was called, but they paid better and I was on call for 4 weeks and had the potential to be in a months long trial according to the summons, which looked nothing like the city summons).

I've actually been summoned to go to court after getting a notice in the mail only three times, and I've never been selected (even though I wanted to).
 
2009-05-20 09:38:23 AM  
In Michigan, you are better off getting onto the first case. If you act like a dip-shiat thinking that being excused from one case means you can go home, you would be mistaken.

Instead, you go back into the jury pool and wait for the next case (and so on). A good friend of mine tried getting excused from every case he was called. On his last day (despite all of his best efforts) he was selected for a murder trial and ultimately was sequestered for 3 weeks.

Had he served on the first case on the first day (simple burglary) he would have completed his civic duty and back home by 4 pm the same day.
 
2009-05-20 09:39:13 AM  
Jury duty is a classic free rider problem - if everyone turns up and does it properly then an individual can worm their way out of it while still being sure if they are ever in court they will get a reasonable judgement. If everyone that can does this though, then juries basically end up full of morons, busybodies, and power hungry bigots, etc. and you have little chance of getting a fair trial is you are unlucky enough to end up in court.
 
2009-05-20 09:42:02 AM  
I had jury duty last week and, yes, I am getting a kick out of these replies.

/found the guy guilty
 
2009-05-20 09:42:33 AM  

Mini Ditka: WFern: untaken_name: Ok, ok, fine. He shoulda just mentioned jury nullification, then. That way he can legally get out of it. Happy?...

Sure, provided he gets his ass kicked. My point was that you're a failure as a citizen if you look to avoid jury duty.

Yeah, you fail as a citizen if you don't jump for joy at the opportunity to sit in the lobby of a courthouse for 8 hours waiting to see if anyone acknowledges the fact that you even bothered to show up. What a loser.


/appeared 4 times


Actually, I have to agree with WFern-

This has become a nation of the entitled rather than an informed and invested electorate. Farkers will whine about out of control prosecutors and DA's and there are 2 great counterbalances to that: elections and jury trials, so long as juries are intelligent enough to hold the state to the threshold of reasonable doubt.

I sat on a drug case for my first jury duty- in college more than a few years back now- and spent half of the deliberations fighting with "citizens" that wanted to convict, because they didn't want drug deals going on in their neighborhoods. They were willing to convict without even considering the strength of the evidence given.

Are you a failure if you donate your time/ money/ or help a person in need without being acknowledged or patted on the back? Citizenship is in the end part of a social contact, maybe not exactly as Locke envisioned it, but one none-the-less.

Sitting there all day is boring, granted...but may I introduce you to this new thing called a "book". I recommend Dostoevsky, Kafka, or Camus for appropriate reading.
 
2009-05-20 09:44:46 AM  

ChrisDe: I was a juror on a murder case once. It was awesome.


I was a juror on a rape case. It was disturbing but it was one of the most interesting experiences of my life. That was 20 years ago and I still think about it. I am glad I had the experience.
 
2009-05-20 09:48:13 AM  
"How's he going to find a jury of his peers?"

No need to worry, there's no shortage of dumb asses.

If there's one area you never want to walk in and do something stupid, it's at the courthouse. People amaze me with the things they say and do there, or when they walk in with illegal things on their person. Gang, it's ground central for cop stuff, act accordingly!!!
 
2009-05-20 09:52:37 AM  
I had jury duty yesterday and the day before in county magistrate court. We heard a bunch of small cases including an 18-year-old that stole a bicycle and a woman who wanted a jury trial for running a stop sign. I had jury duty last year in U.S. District court. We heard one case that lasted 3 days involving a gun and a large quantity of drugs. I served both times because I am proud to be a citizen. It helps that my company agrees with this view and pays my normal salary for jury duty. Yesterday I bought lunch for a fellow juror who is unemployed.

I hope all you jury-dodging farkers enjoy your Memorial Day weekend. While you clever cupcakes are patting your frosted backsides, the rest of us will remember the Americans that fought and died so that you can have the freedom to be such a pathetic confection. There's an unemployed father of four in my county that's a better human being than you.

/U.S. Army Veteran
 
2009-05-20 09:59:25 AM  
As a citizen, you have very few responsibilities beyond obeying the law. Serving jury duty is one of them. Hell, America doesn't make you vote, serve in the military, or serve any type of non-punitive community service. But they ask that you do one thing beyond taxes that makes the justice system tick, and people complain.

I've been on a jury as a foreman, and assisted in giving a sicko 115 total years for multiple counts of statutory rape. He seemed to like having sex with 12 year old girls, and later, his 11 year old daughter. I was lucky in that it was a cut a dry case, and I felt really good about the process. But I'd serve again in a second if asked, even in traffic court.
 
2009-05-20 10:06:11 AM  
glad to see that they have solved all of the other crimes in their community.
 
2009-05-20 10:12:41 AM  
How much will they pay to compensate you for lost hours at work? So far I've never been summoned, but would enjoy it I think if I were duly paid for hours missed.
 
2009-05-20 10:13:21 AM  

thisisarepeat: One spiffy thing about being a nutty libertarian, is that I don't even have to lie to get out of jury duty.


Or you could use the classic: "Where's the whites only fountain?"


christophervalin.files.wordpress.com
/approves
 
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