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(Yahoo)   Tiny potential convicts destroyed   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 42
    More: Followup  
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12943 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2003 at 1:08 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2003-02-13 01:13:08 PM  
Orgasmised crime
 
2003-02-13 01:15:10 PM  
Damn, now that would have been a funny story to tell the kid...


Mom: "Billy, while your dad was in prison, he made a deposit in a cup, which he froze, then gave to me. When I got home I went to the bathroom, took the cup and..."
 
2003-02-13 01:16:57 PM  
Come now.

Oh, come ON...

Seriously, the guy's got a lot of spunk.

Tip your waitresses. I'll be here all week.
 
2003-02-13 01:17:53 PM  
"This was an organised crime thing,"

Holy over-react. It's sperm. Not Cocaine, not gold, not explosives. Sperm. Big deal.
 
2003-02-13 01:18:10 PM  
No conjugal visit? Apparently he was in Federal Pound-me-in-the-ass prison.


/Wants a conjugal visit
 
2003-02-13 01:19:10 PM  
To quote the late, great Elvis:

"Look at all the babies we've killed"
 
2003-02-13 01:19:31 PM  
Sperm is the New Hotness.
 
2003-02-13 01:19:35 PM  
Are they swimming with the fishes?
 
2003-02-13 01:21:43 PM  
The sperm was destroyed on February 4th. My birthday. I'm not sure what to make of that.
 
2003-02-13 01:22:16 PM  
The sperm wanted to escape, but they couldn't leave the convict's buddies behind.
 
2003-02-13 01:23:16 PM  
I destroy sperm every morning in the shower........
 
2003-02-13 01:23:42 PM  
Where's Operation Rescue when you need them?
 
2003-02-13 01:24:08 PM  
Damnit! I thought this article would involve midgets and capitol punishment, instead I get to read about some criminal's sack-honey. WTF?? I feel so betrayed.
 
2003-02-13 01:24:34 PM  
Killing tiny potential convicts? Sounds like abortions for the poor!

/flamebait
 
2003-02-13 01:28:44 PM  
Too bad he's spermenently in prison.
 
2003-02-13 01:30:38 PM  
In other news, the sky is blue and nobody cares.
 
2003-02-13 01:33:03 PM  
This story blew. I found it hard to swallow. I thought they were jerking me around at first. I mean, come on, how hard was it to fluff this piece up.

/puns off
 
2003-02-13 01:36:56 PM  
I guess they got whacked.
 
2003-02-13 01:40:54 PM  
i want to know exactly how they "dispose" of sperm. is some garbage collector from Stericycle going to show up on eBay with it in a couple days? do they just heat it up in a frying pan until they hear 3 billion little screaming swimmers? inquiring minds want to know...
 
2003-02-13 01:41:12 PM  
What kind of sick country do we live in where a jalied mobster can't even knock up his gold-digging bimbo wife by mail.
 
2003-02-13 01:47:33 PM  
Everything's coming up Millhouse.
heh heh... coming...

what? sorry, I'll leave now.
 
2003-02-13 01:51:04 PM  
The guard got 27 months in jail?? All he did was take sperm! Wynona Ryder (sp?) got probation for larceny, and the dude gets jail time for delivering sperm? We live in a messed up judicial system. I'm not saying that Ryder's punishment didn't fit the crime (that's usually what shoplifters get), but when you compare it to this it seems ludicrous. I don't exactly understand the law they infringed upon here. Perhaps this is just because I never saw the original story, but I must be missing something here.
 
2003-02-13 01:51:21 PM  
So what the hell law did they break?
 
2003-02-13 02:20:56 PM  
So, does anyone convicted of a crime lose the right to procreate? Is there so much as one shred of evidence that the sperm contained criminal genes, and would concieve criminals? If his wife got her hands on the sperm, and concieved a child, would she have a forced abortion like in China? We are really stepping down the slippery slope with this case.
 
2003-02-13 02:21:13 PM  
HomerSamson113: I was thinking the same thing. And no one had brought it up yet. 27 months? WTF. In Oz they would have just suspended him...........sorry for that reference. I am still bitter that they are canceling it.

-Lath
 
2003-02-13 02:25:52 PM  
im a free man, and i havent had a conjugal visit in 6 months.
 
2003-02-13 02:26:59 PM  
Don't shake 'em. They'll end up retarded.
 
2003-02-13 02:35:53 PM  
OK.. who's got the link to that cartoon "Why does my prison underwear have a hole in the ass" ? ?
 
2003-02-13 02:38:11 PM  
Where are all the pro-lifers?
 
2003-02-13 02:39:16 PM  
Don't shake 'em. They'll end up the President.
 
2003-02-13 02:47:05 PM  
they'd better make sure that NO convicts smuggle this stuff outta prison...not sure exactly how they'll achieve that tho...
 
2003-02-13 02:56:36 PM  
I love the assumption that dad is a criminal so his sperm (if it procreates) is somehow going to end up being criminal also.

Or perhaps the folks at Gattica had it tested?
 
2003-02-13 03:12:18 PM  
Bark_atda_moon
"No conjugal visit? Apparently he was in Federal Pound-me-in-the-ass prison. "


Sounds more like he was in Federal Choking-the-Chicken Prison.

 
2003-02-13 03:12:34 PM  
They killed them? That's spermicide!
 
2003-02-13 03:23:35 PM  
Plenty more where that came from.
 
2003-02-13 03:28:34 PM  
Instead of jail time, the guard should have had to swallow the offending material. Then we wouldn't have had to pay for some biohazard unit to incinerate it.
 
2003-02-13 05:11:02 PM  
The Upright Citizens Brigade is awesome. Best show ever.

Their mafia will send you a gallon of sperm every week. They'll even make it fresh while you and your wife are having a conversation at the airport.
 
2003-02-13 06:58:50 PM  
They confiscated and destroyed it. So what? I know a great way to make some more.
 
2003-02-13 10:43:43 PM  
I dunno about this mobster's intelligence. I mean, would you trust the guard not to throw out the "goods" and substitute some of his own? It's not like Mrs. Mobster could tell the difference until it's too late...
 
2003-02-13 11:24:51 PM  
Dad:

There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on.
You're A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
 
2003-02-14 11:26:48 AM  
.
 
zeb
2003-02-20 09:05:41 PM  
 
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