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(CNBC)   Actual headline: "Recession Drives Moms to Drink, Do Drugs and Gamble." So...silver lining   ( cnbc.com) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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4345 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2009 at 8:18 AM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-05-15 08:19:40 AM  
This!
 
2009-05-15 08:20:45 AM  
need, "...increase sexual appetite..." in there.

/milf
 
2009-05-15 08:22:14 AM  
grown ups drink because kids cry.

/mystery solved
 
2009-05-15 08:22:27 AM  
"Get a f*cking job" mysteriously absent from this list.
 
2009-05-15 08:23:46 AM  
What's a but mom?
 
2009-05-15 08:28:36 AM  
mtv.comView Full Size


"Cause I'm a Mother Lover
you're a Mother Lover
We should fark each others mothers"
 
2009-05-15 08:29:48 AM  
As long as recession is doing the driving, there's no taxi involved. That'll save some money.
 
2009-05-15 08:30:10 AM  
FTA: "Two-thirds said they feel intensely negative emotions, resulting in arguing, fits of crying and frustration as they worry about the state of the world, how to pay the bills, etc."

And this is different from non-recession mom how?
 
2009-05-15 08:33:16 AM  

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: FTA: "Two-thirds said they feel intensely negative emotions, resulting in arguing, fits of crying and frustration as they worry about the state of the world, how to pay the bills, etc."

And this is different from non-recession mom how?


This is different from all women how?
 
2009-05-15 08:34:16 AM  

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: And this is different from non-recession mom how?


Cause now we are in a recession and it's super scary!
 
2009-05-15 08:35:21 AM  
One day, a long, long time ago there was a woman who didn't whine, nag or biatch. But that was a long, long time ago, and it was just the one day.
 
2009-05-15 08:36:25 AM  

Skydodger: Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: FTA: "Two-thirds said they feel intensely negative emotions, resulting in arguing, fits of crying and frustration as they worry about the state of the world, how to pay the bills, etc."

And this is different from non-recession mom how?

This is different from all women how?


Journalists, masters of the obvious.
 
2009-05-15 08:37:33 AM  

Skydodger: This is different from all women how?


Women don't worry about paying bills. Duh. Ever heard the myth about the female debt reduction?
 
2009-05-15 08:41:12 AM  
Uh, Mom? When did you start pounding tequila shots? And who taught you that whole lick-the-salt, suck-the-lime thing?

Who read that caption? Am I missing some obvious reference or is that just odd?
 
2009-05-15 08:42:47 AM  

GreatNOD: "Cause I'm a Mother Lover
you're a Mother Lover
We should fark each others mothers"


Damn you. I just got that shiat out of my head yesterday, now it's back.
 
2009-05-15 08:42:49 AM  

NikolaiFarkoff: Skydodger: This is different from all women how?

Women don't worry about paying bills. Duh. Ever heard the myth about the female debt reduction?


Female + debt reduction = fail
 
2009-05-15 08:43:43 AM  

Skydodger: Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: FTA: "Two-thirds said they feel intensely negative emotions, resulting in arguing, fits of crying and frustration as they worry about the state of the world, how to pay the bills, etc."

And this is different from non-recession mom how?

This is different from all women how?


This is different from all females regardless of species how?
 
2009-05-15 08:45:23 AM  

dead_dangler: Skydodger: Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: FTA: "Two-thirds said they feel intensely negative emotions, resulting in arguing, fits of crying and frustration as they worry about the state of the world, how to pay the bills, etc."

And this is different from non-recession mom how?

This is different from all women how?

This is different from all females regardless of species how?


This is different from the men who have the sensitivity hows?
 
2009-05-15 08:48:40 AM  
fark all you guys in here.. we aren't that bad and you know you love us :P
 
2009-05-15 08:49:02 AM  

GreatNOD: "Cause I'm a Mother Lover
you're a Mother Lover
We should fark each others mothers"


I'm not using a rubber....

One of their funniest EVAR.
 
2009-05-15 08:49:45 AM  
I have a "Tag Team Shop" in my basement, ironically enough...
 
2009-05-15 08:51:53 AM  
And kids, talk to your parents about drugs. If you don't, their friends will. Or worse, that guy on the corner.

I resent that, I am the guy on the corner.
 
2009-05-15 08:53:22 AM  

krysbabe: fark all you guys in here.. we aren't that bad and you know you love us :P


Nah, we only love parts of you. ;)
 
2009-05-15 08:54:10 AM  
WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.
 
2009-05-15 08:57:07 AM  
I will quit drinking, gambling, and snorting when HE goes back to work. Problem is, he's retired, and nobody wants a crotchety old fart.
 
2009-05-15 08:57:16 AM  

geekluv: WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.


Yes, everyone knows that the learning curve for craps is astronomical.
 
2009-05-15 08:58:07 AM  

Telos: krysbabe: fark all you guys in here.. we aren't that bad and you know you love us :P

Nah, we only love parts of you. ;)


The heart and the brain? :P

/i know the real answer is boobies lol
 
2009-05-15 09:01:45 AM  

dead_dangler: geekluv: WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.

Yes, everyone knows that the learning curve for craps is astronomical.


I believe the ball in Craps probably reminds the mom of all the balls she played with in her mouth or popped out of her whoha.
 
2009-05-15 09:06:14 AM  

krysbabe: fark all you guys in here.. we aren't that bad and you know you love us :P


we only love parts of you... ;)
 
2009-05-15 09:07:15 AM  

geekluv: dead_dangler: geekluv: WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.

Yes, everyone knows that the learning curve for craps is astronomical.

I believe the ball in Craps probably reminds the mom of all the balls she played with in her mouth or popped out of her whoha.


Ball?

/and craps does take a while to learn to play well. Never seen many women who actually knew what they were doing
 
2009-05-15 09:08:46 AM  
Uh, Mom? When did you start pounding tequila shots? And who taught you that whole lick-the-salt, suck-the-lime thing?

Alternate caption:

"No mom. I'm not going to put salt on my neck."
 
2009-05-15 09:10:36 AM  

geekluv: dead_dangler: geekluv: WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.

Yes, everyone knows that the learning curve for craps is astronomical.

I believe the ball in Craps probably reminds the mom of all the balls she played with in her mouth or popped out of her whoha.


there's a ball in Craps? No wonder I always lose. The bastards keep making me use dice!
 
2009-05-15 09:10:39 AM  

CruJones: /and craps does take a while to learn to play well. Never seen many women who actually knew what they were doing


Well they've had a lot of practice pursing their lips and blowing.
 
2009-05-15 09:11:48 AM  

krysbabe: Telos: krysbabe: fark all you guys in here.. we aren't that bad and you know you love us :P

Nah, we only love parts of you. ;)

The heart and the brain? :P

/i know the real answer is boobies lol


try a bit lower
 
2009-05-15 09:13:19 AM  

CruJones: geekluv: dead_dangler: geekluv: WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.

Yes, everyone knows that the learning curve for craps is astronomical.

I believe the ball in Craps probably reminds the mom of all the balls she played with in her mouth or popped out of her whoha.

Ball?

/and craps does take a while to learn to play well. Never seen many women who actually knew what they were doing


sorry I am thinking of russian roulette... Well the dice might remind her of guy's balls to think of it.
 
2009-05-15 09:15:30 AM  

geekluv: CruJones: geekluv: dead_dangler: geekluv: WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.

Yes, everyone knows that the learning curve for craps is astronomical.

I believe the ball in Craps probably reminds the mom of all the balls she played with in her mouth or popped out of her whoha.

Ball?

/and craps does take a while to learn to play well. Never seen many women who actually knew what they were doing

sorry I am thinking of russian roulette... Well the dice might remind her of guy's balls to think of it.


It's too early in the morning for you. Come back once you've woken out of your "gibberish" state.
 
2009-05-15 09:16:26 AM  

krysbabe: fark all you guys in here.. we aren't that bad and you know you love us :P


Yes you are, and yes we do.
 
2009-05-15 09:21:03 AM  

geekluv: CruJones: geekluv: dead_dangler: geekluv: WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.

Yes, everyone knows that the learning curve for craps is astronomical.

I believe the ball in Craps probably reminds the mom of all the balls she played with in her mouth or popped out of her whoha.

Ball?

/and craps does take a while to learn to play well. Never seen many women who actually knew what they were doing

sorry I am thinking of russian roulette... Well the dice might remind her of guy's balls to think of it.


[image from wwwdelivery.superstock.com too old to be available]

I need a little lady luck. Will you blow on my balls?

/ before I pull the trigger
 
2009-05-15 09:24:03 AM  

geekluv: sorry I am thinking of russian roulette... Well the dice might remind her of guy's balls to think of it.


My uncle lost at Russian Roulette once.

/once
 
2009-05-15 09:26:24 AM  
I would prefer that the recession drive me to my house AFTER I've been drinking.
 
2009-05-15 09:27:03 AM  

GreatNOD: geekluv: CruJones: geekluv: dead_dangler: geekluv: WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.

Yes, everyone knows that the learning curve for craps is astronomical.

I believe the ball in Craps probably reminds the mom of all the balls she played with in her mouth or popped out of her whoha.

Ball?

/and craps does take a while to learn to play well. Never seen many women who actually knew what they were doing

sorry I am thinking of russian roulette... Well the dice might remind her of guy's balls to think of it.

I need a little lady luck. Will you blow on my balls?

/ before I pull the trigger


hmmm what do you mean by trigger? I'm having a dirty mind this morning.
 
2009-05-15 09:28:00 AM  

geekluv: GreatNOD: geekluv: CruJones: geekluv: dead_dangler: geekluv: WTF? If your mom knew how to play craps maybe she was a Las Vegas Showgirl at some point in her life & learned how to play while being dependent on her pimp... Did that just make sense? It's too early in the morning for me.

Yes, everyone knows that the learning curve for craps is astronomical.

I believe the ball in Craps probably reminds the mom of all the balls she played with in her mouth or popped out of her whoha.

Ball?

/and craps does take a while to learn to play well. Never seen many women who actually knew what they were doing

sorry I am thinking of russian roulette... Well the dice might remind her of guy's balls to think of it.

I need a little lady luck. Will you blow on my balls?

/ before I pull the trigger

hmmm what do you mean by trigger? I'm having a dirty mind this morning.


Winnie the Pooh's buddy.
 
2009-05-15 09:28:55 AM  
Interestingly absent from the list of 'survival tips' is to STOP HAVING "RECESSION" BROW-BEATEN INTO YOU BY THE MEDIA, including this article. I'm not getting all Phil Gramm / 'mental recession' on you, but you can't deny the avalanche effect of every third story and even commercial leading off with, "In this economy..."
 
2009-05-15 09:29:07 AM  
EverythingThe economy dies, baby, that's a fact
But maybe evrything that dies someday comes back
Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty
And meet me tonight in Atlantic City
 
2009-05-15 09:37:55 AM  

Gunderson: / before I pull the trigger

hmmm what do you mean by trigger? I'm having a dirty mind this morning.

Winnie the Pooh's buddy.


Trigger please!
 
2009-05-15 09:38:28 AM  
geekluv

You do realize that Russian Roulette is also not a real casino game? It involves a gun...
 
2009-05-15 09:42:38 AM  
TFA: Nearly 9 out of 10 moms said they sacrificed buying something for themselves in order to keep buying nice things for their kids.

And guys, listen up: If you think this isn't your problem, think again. One in four moms said they're having less sex with their partners as a result of the economic stress.


Maybe I'm just in a rotten mood this morning, but this is pretty goddamned insulting. What, there's no such thing as a dad who ever went without something to make sure that his kids had what they need? Right. We're all just sitting on the couch, watching TV and waiting for the wife to give us a BJ once she's finished cooking dinner.

What a crock of shiat.
 
2009-05-15 09:42:43 AM  

Produkt: geekluv

You do realize that Russian Roulette is also not a real casino game? It involves a gun...


yeah I know but I like to call the Roulette table the Russian Roulette table for some strange reason.

/when I was a kid I thought the only people who could be in charge of the Roulette table were Russians. That's why I still call it by that name still. My dad always looks at me funny when I call it that.
 
2009-05-15 09:43:34 AM  

krysbabe: fark all you guys in here.. we aren't that bad and you know you love us :P


Yes you are, but then, so are we. And yes we do.

You still with the guy who was uncomfortable with your myspace?
 
2009-05-15 09:43:49 AM  

Stay Cool Babylon: but you can't deny the avalanche effect of every third story and even commercial leading off with, "In this economy..."



Just for you. An oldie, but a goodie (I think it dates back to the 1930s):


Once there was a man who owned a hot dog stand that he ran by the side of the road. For years he treated his customers right, sold good quality hot dogs to lots of people who stopped by to purchase from him.? He even made enough money to send his son to college. He wanted his son to be an educated man and successful in the world. So his son went away to college and several years later he returned with his diploma in hand. The man was very pleased to have an educated son who could help him in his business.

The next day his son heard him placing his order for hot dogs and commented that he was surprised that he would order so many hot dogs, "Hadn't he heard that there is a recession going on?" The man thought about this and concluded that his son had a college education and must know what he was talking about so he cut back his order for hot dogs. People continued to stop at the hot dog stand, but by rush hour the man had run out of hot dogs. He had to turn customers away. After a few times of stopping by and finding the man out of hot dogs his regular customers stopped coming by. As this continued for a while and less and less people stopped to buy hot dogs, the man's income dropped to the point that he could not pay his bills and he went out of business.

From all this the man concluded "His son must be right, there is a recession going on!
 
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