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(WTLX)   ♫You don't tug on Superman's cape,You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don't fark with a Waffle House waitress   (wltx.com) divider line 142
    More: Dumbass  
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15736 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2009 at 10:06 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-05-13 11:13:17 AM
Marla Singer's Laundry: Office Ninja: Marla Singer's Laundry: Rose Red: James F. Campbell: Marla Singer's Laundry: James F. Campbell: My god, it's full of stars black people white trash like Campbell.

You sound like a whore.

She is!

durr hurrr I think someone's still hurting from the epic smackdown I performed on you last year. I have the link. Should I post it?

I saved it for when you deigned to open that gaping cholesterol-intake-pore you call a mouth.

Saucer of milk, table for two - Meow!

Nah, she always does that. One pathetic insult and POOF!...I won't see her for months. She knows. She knows.


Don't you have some kind of accomplishments in real life that you could be celebrating instead of clinging to the fact that you totally owned someone on the Internet a year later? That's really kind of... sad. However, I don't feel any sympathy for you at all, mainly because you're a huge attention whore. Now I just feel dirty for responding to you in the first place.

/If you really want attention from me, you'll send pictures of your naked body.
 
2009-05-13 11:13:23 AM
I thought the article was funny, then I read the thread.....

/please don't die, thread!
//I need you!1!!!!111!!!
 
2009-05-13 11:13:39 AM
illuminatis: I think I understand why the chick started throwing food at the waitress, she was being eggo'ed-on by her friends

Da-dum-tsssh
 
2009-05-13 11:16:31 AM
ah, ha ha

Skanks, guns and fatty food.
 
2009-05-13 11:19:28 AM
Mishno: Eye witness report FTA's comments:

Wettnes wrote:

"1st of all dis cldve happen 2 n-e 1 n da girl startd everything no1 was even talkn 2 her we was talkn 2 da cook tim so she jum n n it was b-cuz dey didnt had no clean dishes n we had 2 eat n carry out trayz n dey was like yall cnt eat n if yall order carry out so we startd fussin wit da girl cuz she was doin things dat lead 2 da fite n my sis drag her nside waffle house so she ran outside n got a gun n da girl didnt no wut she was doin steady pulln da gun lettn un use bullets drop n win she did shot she shot way off n my sis got shot win da gun hit da ground n went off dats how she got shot n dat girl DIDNT pistol whip my sis she tryd 2 hit her n my sis put her hand n da way n it hit her hand n she hit her again win da police grab my sis she reachd ova n hit her on da side of her face my sis left da waffle house wit 3 strachs n her hand was swollen plus da LIL shot my sis aint even no she was shot till da dr tell her how u bring a gun 2 a fist fite n lose but dats wut happen but dnt worry we bout 2 sew da waffle house n da police dep. stra8 like dat my sis a freakn G freak wut everybdy say n wut da newz say dey love 2 twist things up n-e way but my sis will be on 2nite at 11 telln her side of da story"


i went cross eyed trying to figure this out. can someone translate to any language?

/prefer English, maybe german
 
2009-05-13 11:29:34 AM
Does anyone else think that Crystal just jumped into a fresh mud bath before heading out to the waffle house? That is one ugly color on that colored woman.
 
2009-05-13 11:30:28 AM
Oh, stick it between your knees.
filmtheoryandcriticism.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-05-13 11:31:57 AM
i586.photobucket.com

...knows his Waffle House assaults.
 
2009-05-13 11:36:06 AM
You know who else got arrested at a WH? Kid Rock

http://www.wbbm780.com/pages/4116556.php?imageGalleryXRefId=1057002#imgXR
 
2009-05-13 11:38:20 AM
Rapmaster2000 2009-05-13 10:10:36 AM
An early morning run for breakfast at the Waffle House on Paxville Highway in Manning turned terribly wrong for Crystal Samuel.
A black girl with a white trash name. Truly, Dr. King's dream has been fulfilled!


you think white trash came up with white trash names first?

/stay in the Hampton Inn across street from this place every spring on a golf junket, never eaten there though
 
2009-05-13 11:39:34 AM
I have never been to a Waffle House, and I am starting to feel a little left out. Sounds like I am missing out on some serious stuff.
 
2009-05-13 11:45:47 AM
Stupid is as stupid does. That's what big momma used to say.
 
2009-05-13 11:49:58 AM
Wettnes wrote:

"1st of all dis cldve happen 2 n-e 1 n da girl startd everything no1 was even talkn 2 her we was talkn 2 da cook tim so she jum n n it was b-cuz dey didnt had no clean dishes n we had 2 eat n carry out trayz n dey was like yall cnt eat n if yall order carry out so we startd fussin wit da girl cuz she was doin things dat lead 2 da fite n my sis drag her nside waffle house so she ran outside n got a gun n da girl didnt no wut she was doin steady pulln da gun lettn un use bullets drop n win she did shot she shot way off n my sis got shot win da gun hit da ground n went off dats how she got shot n dat girl DIDNT pistol whip my sis she tryd 2 hit her n my sis put her hand n da way n it hit her hand n she hit her again win da police grab my sis she reachd ova n hit her on da side of her face my sis left da waffle house wit 3 strachs n her hand was swollen plus da LIL shot my sis aint even no she was shot till da dr tell her how u bring a gun 2 a fist fite n lose but dats wut happen but dnt worry we bout 2 sew da waffle house n da police dep. stra8 like dat my sis a freakn G freak wut everybdy say n wut da newz say dey love 2 twist things up n-e way but my sis will be on 2nite at 11 telln her side of da story"


Translated:

Witness wrote:

First of all, this could've happened to anybody, and the girl started everything. Nobody was even talking to her, we were talking to the cook Tim, and she just jumped in. She was upset because we were eating out of carry-out trays because they didn't have any clean dishes. She told us we couldn't eat inside if we had ordered carry-out. We started arguing, and the waitress started escalating the argument, trying to start a fight. My sister dragged her inside the waffle house, but the waitress ran outside and grabbed a gun out of her car. It seemed like she didn't know how to use a gun properly, because she was just pulling the trigger and the shots were going wide. She dropped the gun at one point, and the gun went off, which is when my sister got hit. Contrary to the news article, my sister wasn't pistol whipped, the waitress tried to hit her, but she blocked it with her hand, which ended up requiring 3 stitches. She attempted to hit by sister again, but was blocked by the police. She was, however, able to slap my sister across the face. So she left the waffle house with a bleeding hand, a swollen face, and a bullet wound, which my sister didn't even know she had until the doctor asked her, "How do you bring a gun to a fist fight and lose?" Don't worry about us, we're going to sue the waffle house and the police department, my sister's a gangster like that. Don't listen to what everybody else is saying, or what the news is saying, they like to twist things around, my sister will be on at 11 to explain her side of the story.

YOUR WELCOME
 
2009-05-13 11:51:04 AM
Ya Hear come the Gravediggaz!
Ya Hear come the Gravediggaz!
Ya Hear come the Gravediggaz!
 
2009-05-13 11:52:00 AM
Didn't see the big sign up top?

[W][E][A][P][O][N] [H][O][ U][S][E]
 
2009-05-13 11:53:02 AM
Ahhhh, the Waffle house...

For when you don't have a nasty local diner to get food poisoning.
 
2009-05-13 11:53:12 AM
James F. Campbell: Don't you have some kind of accomplishments in real life that you could be celebrating instead of clinging to the fact that you totally owned someone on the Internet a year later? That's really kind of... sad. However, I don't feel any sympathy for you at all, mainly because you're a huge attention whore.

Oh so THIS.
 
2009-05-13 11:55:43 AM
biohacker: Translated:

Can you actually obtain a copy of that idiot to English dictionary for me?
 
2009-05-13 11:56:41 AM
i66.photobucket.com
 
2009-05-13 11:56:47 AM
www.wltx.com


Is Yakeisha gonna hafta choke shoot AND PISTOL WHIP a biatch?
 
2009-05-13 11:59:52 AM
Lakeisha looks pretty damned happy with herself in that mugshot.
 
2009-05-13 12:00:47 PM
bunner: biohacker: Translated:

Can you actually obtain a copy of that idiot to English dictionary for me?


Actually, it's freely available at your local drug dispensary. PROTIP: Pipe and lighter not included, so bring your own.
 
2009-05-13 12:07:24 PM
smokinokie: Stupid is as stupid does. That's what big momma used to say.

I think that's what Gump said.
 
2009-05-13 12:31:01 PM
Khaal: I have never been to a Waffle House, and I am starting to feel a little left out. Sounds like I am missing out on some serious stuff.

Track down comedian Jim Gaffigan's bit about Waffle House. It is spot on.
 
2009-05-13 12:40:09 PM
Wow, does law enforcement go easier on women? She brought a loaded weapon to a fight, discharged it, and also pistol whipped her. And she gets out on $500 bond?
 
2009-05-13 12:40:45 PM
Never bring a waffle to a gun fight.
 
2009-05-13 12:41:39 PM
Ah, Waffle House. One thing I don't miss about the south.

/came for Bill Hicks reference, leaving satisfied
//What the fark's going on here? It's not like I walked into a Klan rally in a Boy George outfit, God damn it. It's a book!
 
2009-05-13 12:59:29 PM
I have absolutely no sympathy for the 'victim.'

You throw food at a waiter, you deserve to be shot.

/never been a waiter
 
2009-05-13 01:22:11 PM
So.... much.... fail....

Still, it's good to see that DEATH has occupied Der Waffle Haus again...

froghunters.org
 
2009-05-13 01:30:30 PM
treesloth: So.... much.... fail....

Still, it's good to see that DEATH has occupied Der Waffle Haus again...


See, I always got a kick out of them saying "The Der Waffle Haus".
 
2009-05-13 02:31:57 PM
biohacker:

YOUR WELCOME


and a big thank you to you!
 
2009-05-13 02:34:01 PM
I was just thinking of why it would be that a waitress would be so rude as to tell a customer they couldn't eat in with a take out container. I think I've got it. The customer orders a take out container for eat in and then doesn't feel a need to leave a tip. My verdict: justifiable attempted murder.

If I had to date one of them, it would be Yakeisha. I always had a thing for Japanese women.
 
2009-05-13 02:57:57 PM
The Pope finds in favor of the waitress

1. don't order takeout and then sit your fat ass in a booth

2. get your fat ass on up outa the booth whe asked to do so

3. and Don't bring a Waffle to a Gun fight dumbass
 
2009-05-13 03:13:20 PM
Big_Fat_Liar: I was just thinking of why it would be that a waitress would be so rude as to tell a customer they couldn't eat in with a take out container. I think I've got it. The customer orders a take out container for eat in and then doesn't feel a need to leave a tip. My verdict: justifiable attempted murder.

If I had to date one of them, it would be Yakeisha. I always had a thing for Japanese women.


I suspected something like this. A non-tipper combined with explosive ghetto attitudes. Kaboom!
 
2009-05-13 03:20:04 PM
does not sympathize
www.wikinomics.com
 
2009-05-13 03:39:55 PM
biohacker: Wettnes wrote:

"1st of all dis cldve happen 2 n-e 1 n da girl startd everything no1 was even talkn 2 her we was talkn 2 da cook tim so she jum n n it was b-cuz dey didnt had no clean dishes n we had 2 eat n carry out trayz n dey was like yall cnt eat n if yall order carry out so we startd fussin wit da girl cuz she was doin things dat lead 2 da fite n my sis drag her nside waffle house so she ran outside n got a gun n da girl didnt no wut she was doin steady pulln da gun lettn un use bullets drop n win she did shot she shot way off n my sis got shot win da gun hit da ground n went off dats how she got shot n dat girl DIDNT pistol whip my sis she tryd 2 hit her n my sis put her hand n da way n it hit her hand n she hit her again win da police grab my sis she reachd ova n hit her on da side of her face my sis left da waffle house wit 3 strachs n her hand was swollen plus da LIL shot my sis aint even no she was shot till da dr tell her how u bring a gun 2 a fist fite n lose but dats wut happen but dnt worry we bout 2 sew da waffle house n da police dep. stra8 like dat my sis a freakn G freak wut everybdy say n wut da newz say dey love 2 twist things up n-e way but my sis will be on 2nite at 11 telln her side of da story"

Translated:

Witness wrote:

First of all, this could've happened to anybody, and the girl started everything. Nobody was even talking to her, we were talking to the cook Tim, and she just jumped in. She was upset because we were eating out of carry-out trays because they didn't have any clean dishes. She told us we couldn't eat inside if we had ordered carry-out. We started arguing, and the waitress started escalating the argument, trying to start a fight. My sister dragged her inside the waffle house, but the waitress ran outside and grabbed a gun out of her car. It seemed like she didn't know how to use a gun properly, because she was just pulling the trigger and the shots were going wide. She dropped the gun at one point, and the gun went off, which is when my sister got hit. Contrary to the news article, my sister wasn't pistol whipped, the waitress tried to hit her, but she blocked it with her hand, which ended up requiring 3 stitches. She attempted to hit by sister again, but was blocked by the police. She was, however, able to slap my sister across the face. So she left the waffle house with a bleeding hand, a swollen face, and a bullet wound, which my sister didn't even know she had until the doctor asked her, "How do you bring a gun to a fist fight and lose?" Don't worry about us, we're going to sue the waffle house and the police department, my sister's a gangster like that. Don't listen to what everybody else is saying, or what the news is saying, they like to twist things around, my sister will be on at 11 to explain her side of the story.

YOUR WELCOME


Holy crap! You win!
They were still pissed KFC and Popeyes were out of chicken.
 
2009-05-13 04:27:29 PM
biohacker: Wettnes wrote:

"1st of all dis cldve happen 2 n-e 1 n da girl startd everything no1 was even talkn 2 her we was talkn 2 da cook tim so she jum n n it was b-cuz dey didnt had no clean dishes n we had 2 eat n carry out trayz n dey was like yall cnt eat n if yall order carry out so we startd fussin wit da girl cuz she was doin things dat lead 2 da fite n my sis drag her nside waffle house so she ran outside n got a gun n da girl didnt no wut she was doin steady pulln da gun lettn un use bullets drop n win she did shot she shot way off n my sis got shot win da gun hit da ground n went off dats how she got shot n dat girl DIDNT pistol whip my sis she tryd 2 hit her n my sis put her hand n da way n it hit her hand n she hit her again win da police grab my sis she reachd ova n hit her on da side of her face my sis left da waffle house wit 3 strachs n her hand was swollen plus da LIL shot my sis aint even no she was shot till da dr tell her how u bring a gun 2 a fist fite n lose but dats wut happen but dnt worry we bout 2 sew da waffle house n da police dep. stra8 like dat my sis a freakn G freak wut everybdy say n wut da newz say dey love 2 twist things up n-e way but my sis will be on 2nite at 11 telln her side of da story"

Translated:

Witness wrote:

First of all, this could've happened to anybody, and the girl started everything. Nobody was even talking to her, we were talking to the cook Tim, and she just jumped in. She was upset because we were eating out of carry-out trays because they didn't have any clean dishes. She told us we couldn't eat inside if we had ordered carry-out. We started arguing, and the waitress started escalating the argument, trying to start a fight. My sister dragged her inside the waffle house, but the waitress ran outside and grabbed a gun out of her car. It seemed like she didn't know how to use a gun properly, because she was just pulling the trigger and the shots were going wide. She dropped the gun at one point, and the gun went off, which is when my sister got hit. Contrary to the news article, my sister wasn't pistol whipped, the waitress tried to hit her, but she blocked it with her hand, which ended up requiring 3 stitches. She attempted to hit by sister again, but was blocked by the police. She was, however, able to slap my sister across the face. So she left the waffle house with a bleeding hand, a swollen face, and a bullet wound, which my sister didn't even know she had until the doctor asked her, "How do you bring a gun to a fist fight and lose?" Don't worry about us, we're going to sue the waffle house and the police department, my sister's a gangster like that. Don't listen to what everybody else is saying, or what the news is saying, they like to twist things around, my sister will be on at 11 to explain her side of the story.

YOUR WELCOME


img1.fark.net

/can you also parse Chaucher?
 
2009-05-13 09:01:47 PM
Emrick: This is a good example of why guns should not be allowed on college campuses or places of business like this one. The chances of stopping a criminal with a firearm pale in comparison to the chances a thrown waffle turns into attempted murder. Add massive quantities of alcohol, like you find on most college campuses, and the problem is exponentially worse.


These people automatically turn into upstanding citizens when you take their guns away? They all deserve to be shot, so let them shoot eachother!
 
2009-05-13 09:06:57 PM
Humorbot 5.0: Mishno: Eye witness report FTA's comments:

Wettnes wrote:

"1st of all dis cldve happen 2 n-e 1 n da girl startd everything no1 was even talkn 2 her we was talkn 2 da cook tim so she jum n n it was b-cuz dey didnt had no clean dishes n we had 2 eat n carry out trayz n dey was like yall cnt eat n if yall order carry out so we startd fussin wit da girl cuz she was doin things dat lead 2 da fite n my sis drag her nside waffle house so she ran outside n got a gun n da girl didnt no wut she was doin steady pulln da gun lettn un use bullets drop n win she did shot she shot way off n my sis got shot win da gun hit da ground n went off dats how she got shot n dat girl DIDNT pistol whip my sis she tryd 2 hit her n my sis put her hand n da way n it hit her hand n she hit her again win da police grab my sis she reachd ova n hit her on da side of her face my sis left da waffle house wit 3 strachs n her hand was swollen plus da LIL shot my sis aint even no she was shot till da dr tell her how u bring a gun 2 a fist fite n lose but dats wut happen but dnt worry we bout 2 sew da waffle house n da police dep. stra8 like dat my sis a freakn G freak wut everybdy say n wut da newz say dey love 2 twist things up n-e way but my sis will be on 2nite at 11 telln her side of da story"

I think that just gave me cancer



I got the sickle cell... yo
 
2009-05-13 10:09:15 PM
was a waffle house waitress for a short period of time, and am getting a kick out of these replies
/worst job I ever had, stayed less than 6 mo.
//thank god
///slashies
 
2009-05-14 03:26:23 AM
Sarcastica75: treesloth: So.... much.... fail....

Still, it's good to see that DEATH has occupied Der Waffle Haus again...

See, I always got a kick out of them saying "The Der Waffle Haus".


Der waffle haus forever!
www.deadlikememovie.com
How a right proper waitress shows her assertiveness.
 
2009-05-14 04:50:07 PM
ha! this song was on the radio on the way to work this morning.
 
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