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(WTLX)   ♫You don't tug on Superman's cape,You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don't fark with a Waffle House waitress   (wltx.com) divider line 142
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15736 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2009 at 10:06 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-05-13 08:28:06 AM
Would've been funny if the waitress' name was something like "Jen." But, instead, we have:

Yakeisha Ward, 29, is charged with assault and battery with intent to kill.

No comment.
 
2009-05-13 08:54:05 AM
I thought that the meat was tough
 
2009-05-13 09:05:37 AM
She's the baddest waitress in the whole damn town.
 
2009-05-13 09:10:50 AM
Oh, and PS: F*ck you, I *like* Waffle House. ....or was that Huddle House... Dammit!
 
2009-05-13 09:27:20 AM
If I was named Yakeisha, I'd want to shoot someone too.
 
2009-05-13 10:07:23 AM
My god, it's full of stars black people.
 
2009-05-13 10:07:57 AM
Was she playing chicken with a can of Final Net?
 
2009-05-13 10:09:25 AM
"Deputies were close by when they rolled up in the parking lot the victim and the suspect were still engaged in a fight,"

Cops hanging out near a Waffle House? Wow. Who would have thunk it?
 
2009-05-13 10:09:36 AM
I was in Nashville, Tennesee last year. After the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, I was hungry. And I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? Waitress walks over to me: " Hey, whatchoo readin' for?"

Isn't that the weirdest farking question you've ever heard? Not what am I readING, but what am I reading *for*? Well, godammit, ya stumped me! Why do I read? Well... hmmm... I dunno... I guess I read for a lot of reasons, and the main one is so I don't end up being a farking waffle waitress.


/oblig
 
2009-05-13 10:09:41 AM
MarshWoman: If I was named Yakeisha, I'd want to shoot someone too.

She's not my Keisha, she's Yakeisha.
 
2009-05-13 10:09:59 AM
She got the All-Star with a side of lead.
 
2009-05-13 10:10:36 AM
An early morning run for breakfast at the Waffle House on Paxville Highway in Manning turned terribly wrong for Crystal Samuel.

A black girl with a white trash name. Truly, Dr. King's dream has been fulfilled!
 
2009-05-13 10:13:20 AM
I think I'm in love!
 
2009-05-13 10:13:21 AM
I'm sorry, I thought that 'waffle house waitress' was the offical holding pattern between 'jailbait' and 'white trash welfare momma', therefore requiring them to be plooked!
 
2009-05-13 10:13:44 AM
Garçon, Coffee!
 
2009-05-13 10:13:52 AM
FTFA: "I thought I was gonna get me an All-Star," says Samuel. A popular meal on the menu. "Grits, sausage, toast, eggs and a waffle," says Samuel.

She didn't get what she came for. Instead, she says while she waited for her order, her friends started eating. That's when Samuel says she was told they couldn't eat from carryout trays inside the restaurant.

"I said what is your fuss about. I said we haven't paid for our food. She (Ward) said well you all got to leave. How you want us to leave and we ain't paid for the food yet," says Samuel.


Why can't Harvard and Yale graduates get along?
 
2009-05-13 10:15:14 AM
The "victim" threw a waffle. That's batter-y.
 
2009-05-13 10:15:22 AM
The quotes in the article are gold.
 
2009-05-13 10:15:25 AM
She drive a Lincoln Continental and an Eldorado, too? She got a .32 gun in her pocket of fun and a razor in her shoe?
 
2009-05-13 10:16:20 AM
"And then this trucker in the next booth gets up..."
 
2009-05-13 10:16:37 AM
hey- NOW you're an All-Star.
 
2009-05-13 10:17:20 AM
I always wanted to date a waffle house waitress because they would come home smelling like hashbrowns and bacon.

/Still haven't seen one that passes the visual component required of dating.
 
2009-05-13 10:17:27 AM
That's some real good talkin
grits
 
2009-05-13 10:17:28 AM
FTA:
As for Samuel, she has only one thing to say about Waffle House. "bad customer service," says Samuel.

Um, yeah.
 
2009-05-13 10:18:20 AM
papundits.files.wordpress.com

What a Waffle House waitress might look like.

/thank you Jon Stewart
 
2009-05-13 10:18:27 AM
James F. Campbell: My god, it's full of stars black people white trash like Campbell.
 
2009-05-13 10:18:32 AM
lollertwatwaffles.
 
2009-05-13 10:19:37 AM
Man that article was so full of win.

Damn! Now I wants me some WH hash browns...scattered, smothered, covered, diced, chunked, and topped.
 
2009-05-13 10:19:56 AM
Midnight Rambler: The "victim" threw a waffle. That's batter-y.

And... we have a winner!
 
2009-05-13 10:22:05 AM
that headline doesn't even come close to fitting with the song...
 
2009-05-13 10:22:33 AM
Bail Money - paid with crumbled singles and quarters - let your children know that it is not polite to throw food.
 
2009-05-13 10:22:41 AM
Apparently "Scattered, Smothered, and Covered" applies to their employees' firearms as well.
 
2009-05-13 10:23:06 AM
Scattered, smothered and covered
 
2009-05-13 10:23:22 AM
I always wanted to date a waffle house waitress because they would come home smelling like hashbrowns and bacon.

Went to a waffle house in Phoenix during spring training and the hostess was pretty cute.

The manager was a badass at that place. There was a line out the door one group decides that they were too good to wait in line and took a booth. Waitress and manager try to tell them that there were other people in front of them but they refused to budge. Manager tells waitress not to serve them. After being ignored for a few minutes, one of the girls in the group throws a hissy fit and demands to talk to the manager. He told her what was up and the group stormed out.
 
2009-05-13 10:23:27 AM
palladiate: She's the baddest waitress in the whole damn town.

Woo hoo!

/also don't go hustling people strange to you
 
2009-05-13 10:24:25 AM
epyonyx:
What a Waffle House waitress might look like.

/thank you Jon Stewart


That awesome! *tips hat*
 
2009-05-13 10:24:25 AM
Sin_City_Superhero: Damn! Now I wants me some WH hash browns...scattered, smothered, covered, diced, chunked, and topped perforated.

Apparently there have been a few changes on the menu.
 
2009-05-13 10:24:30 AM
malle-herbert: "And then this trucker in the next booth gets up..."

Thanks.
 
2009-05-13 10:24:45 AM
This is an awesome story.

Vernon Davis
 
2009-05-13 10:25:42 AM
Articles like this remind me why I love America...and damn do I miss the ol' waffle house.

//grits and decent cheese are a might hard to come by in the land of the rising sun.
 
2009-05-13 10:27:51 AM
Marla Singer's Laundry: James F. Campbell: My god, it's full of stars black people white trash like Campbell.

You sound like a whore.
 
2009-05-13 10:27:59 AM
Ward needs to take a step back, calm down, and reflect on the fact that Waffle House is surious bizniz.
 
2009-05-13 10:28:17 AM
A Waffle House waitress farted on me once, when I was 10. And I mean, just ripped ass.

It was horrific.
 
2009-05-13 10:28:20 AM
Eye witness report FTA's comments:

Wettnes wrote:

"1st of all dis cldve happen 2 n-e 1 n da girl startd everything no1 was even talkn 2 her we was talkn 2 da cook tim so she jum n n it was b-cuz dey didnt had no clean dishes n we had 2 eat n carry out trayz n dey was like yall cnt eat n if yall order carry out so we startd fussin wit da girl cuz she was doin things dat lead 2 da fite n my sis drag her nside waffle house so she ran outside n got a gun n da girl didnt no wut she was doin steady pulln da gun lettn un use bullets drop n win she did shot she shot way off n my sis got shot win da gun hit da ground n went off dats how she got shot n dat girl DIDNT pistol whip my sis she tryd 2 hit her n my sis put her hand n da way n it hit her hand n she hit her again win da police grab my sis she reachd ova n hit her on da side of her face my sis left da waffle house wit 3 strachs n her hand was swollen plus da LIL shot my sis aint even no she was shot till da dr tell her how u bring a gun 2 a fist fite n lose but dats wut happen but dnt worry we bout 2 sew da waffle house n da police dep. stra8 like dat my sis a freakn G freak wut everybdy say n wut da newz say dey love 2 twist things up n-e way but my sis will be on 2nite at 11 telln her side of da story"
 
2009-05-13 10:28:27 AM
xanadian: Oh, and PS: F*ck you, I *like* Waffle House. ....or was that Huddle House... Dammit!

Po-tay-toh, po-tah-toh.
 
2009-05-13 10:28:50 AM
This is a good example of why guns should not be allowed on college campuses or places of business like this one. The chances of stopping a criminal with a firearm pale in comparison to the chances a thrown waffle turns into attempted murder. Add massive quantities of alcohol, like you find on most college campuses, and the problem is exponentially worse.
 
2009-05-13 10:29:35 AM
Cat Food Sandwiches: Was she playing chicken with a can of Final Net?

What is that song called? Is it "Hattiesburg waffle house fire" by Billy C. Wirtz?
 
2009-05-13 10:29:59 AM
"There are many reasons why I read, but I guess the main one would be SO I DON'T END UP BEING A farkING WAFFLE WAITRESS."

Amen, Bill, amen.

www.justgetthere.us

/hotlinked
 
2009-05-13 10:30:47 AM
"How you want us to leave and we ain't paid for the food yet?"

Yay, ebonics!

img4.imageshack.us
 
2009-05-13 10:31:14 AM
Best part is that she appears to have kept her job. Not that Waffle House, Inc. wants people to think that it condones its employees shooting patrons or anything.

Lawyers are going to be all respondeat superior up in Waffle House, Inc.'s All-Star grit-servin' asses.
 
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