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(Some Chick)   After spending $773K on soft drinks for their 14,000 prisoners last year, the Oregon State corrections officials will trim back and only allow one Coke per week per inmate   (koinlocal6.com) divider line 128
    More: Asinine  
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4783 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2009 at 5:25 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-05-12 10:42:04 PM  
I'm not sure what the asinine tag was for. One soda a week per inmate seems about right to me.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2009-05-12 10:45:04 PM  
One seems a little high.
 
2009-05-12 10:47:38 PM  
I am hoping the tag was for the fact that they spent that much on pop alone. They are in prison, not club med, they should have to drink water and only water.
 
2009-05-12 10:50:28 PM  
cK-MidnightFreak: I am hoping the tag was for the fact that they spent that much on pop alone. They are in prison, not club med, they should have to drink water and only water.

Well, maybe some juice with vitamins, to keep the health care costs down.
 
2009-05-12 11:05:58 PM  
They get name-brand Coke? You can get generic soft drinks way cheaper . . . .
 
2009-05-12 11:10:35 PM  
Asa Phelps: They get name-brand Coke? You can get generic soft drinks way cheaper . . . .

One would hope that $773k would buy at least 1.5 million cans of Coke. Hell, there are still vending machines around here that sell 12oz cans for $0.50.
 
2009-05-12 11:12:05 PM  
Asa Phelps: They get name-brand Coke? You can get generic soft drinks way cheaper . . . .

i517.photobucket.com

even cheaper
 
2009-05-12 11:17:02 PM  
I'm just guessing that they get bottled water instead. And if so, probably for the same price.

Those little cartons of milk aren't cheap, either ;)
 
2009-05-12 11:46:09 PM  
If you do the math, this comes out to less than 16 cents a day per inmate.

Which, you know, doesn't seem egregious.

I guess you cut costs where you can. But eventually you turn into Joe Arpaio, and as funny as that looks on the outside, the truth is he's an incompetent ass-clown.
 
2009-05-12 11:46:15 PM  
They should be given tap water. If they want anything else pay for it.
 
2009-05-12 11:54:53 PM  
They should switch to Shasta.
 
2009-05-12 11:57:26 PM  
JerseyTim: They should switch to Shasta.

Shasta soda was one of the nice things about growing up in the Northwests. They came up with some pretty weird flavors, too ;)
 
2009-05-12 11:58:40 PM  
Northwests? Damn. I didn't know there was more than one ;)
 
2009-05-12 11:58:52 PM  
skitzo: They should be given tap water. If they want anything else pay for it.

THIS

If they want soft drinks then let them buy them from the prison commissary.
 
2009-05-12 11:59:18 PM  
In most jails in New York State, you can't even BUY soda, no less get it for free.

The bottles are considered contraband (making hootch, storing various things to assault people with), and cans (considered as weapons) would be completely out of the question.

The only thing that's served is generic koolaid, other than 1 juice, or 1 milk at meals, and 1 coffee in the morning.

Though you can buy koolaid, tea, or instant coffee, all of which, is made with the water from your sink.
 
2009-05-12 11:59:32 PM  
SpinStopper: JerseyTim: They should switch to Shasta.

Shasta soda was one of the nice things about growing up in the Northwests. They came up with some pretty weird flavors, too ;)


It always made me feel inferior to drink Shasta. You know, the cool kids had Coke and Pepsi and 7UP ...
 
2009-05-13 12:00:49 AM  
TommyymmoT: In most jails in New York State, you can't even BUY soda, no less get it for free.

The bottles are considered contraband (making hootch, storing various things to assault people with), and cans (considered as weapons) would be completely out of the question.



Yeah, but we're talking about Oregon prisoners - the worst thing one of them would make out of aluminum can is an impromptu pot pipe.


\Did that a few times, though not in prison
 
2009-05-13 12:08:43 AM  
Finally, something new to rape for.
 
2009-05-13 12:14:17 AM  
TommyymmoT: In most jails in New York State, you can't even BUY soda, no less get it for free.

The bottles are considered contraband (making hootch, storing various things to assault people with), and cans (considered as weapons) would be completely out of the question.

The only thing that's served is generic koolaid, other than 1 juice, or 1 milk at meals, and 1 coffee in the morning.

Though you can buy koolaid, tea, or instant coffee, all of which, is made with the water from your sink.


Do Top Ramens count as a beverage? You can always remove the noodles.
 
2009-05-13 12:34:27 AM  
muck4doo: TommyymmoT: In most jails in New York State, you can't even BUY soda, no less get it for free.

The bottles are considered contraband (making hootch, storing various things to assault people with), and cans (considered as weapons) would be completely out of the question.

The only thing that's served is generic koolaid, other than 1 juice, or 1 milk at meals, and 1 coffee in the morning.

Though you can buy koolaid, tea, or instant coffee, all of which, is made with the water from your sink.

Do Top Ramens count as a beverage? You can always remove the noodles.


You can buy all the uncarbonated stuff you want, even Cup-O-Noodles. You can drink whatever beverage you want all day long, but they only (sparingly)give the free stuff out at meals.

Grandmaster Poopypants: Finally, something new to rape for.

It'll be the new currency.
 
2009-05-13 12:42:59 AM  
TexasPeace: Well, maybe some juice with vitamins, to keep the health care costs down.

Juice is as expensive as soft drink and the bottled crap they sell alongside soft drink is sugary garbage. Health and cost wise, they'd be better off with water and fruit.
 
2009-05-13 05:34:35 AM  
Oregon water is pretty good... I have a bottle with me from our home tap right now... pity Im not in Oregon right now, but California water sucks evil.

// at least my wife and kids have the same tap I got this from
/// 3 more days, I can get a refill
//// then later I might have some water
 
2009-05-13 05:34:42 AM  
Yay America! You're number 1.

media.economist.com

"America has less than 5% of the world's people but almost 25% of its prisoners. It imprisons 756 people per 100,000 residents, a rate nearly five times the world average. About one in every 31 adults is either in prison or on parole. Black men have a one-in-three chance of being imprisoned at some point in their lives." (Link)
 
2009-05-13 05:34:55 AM  
Bread, water, rice & beans! that should be it. Maybe tortillas for the spicks.
 
2009-05-13 05:37:36 AM  
Umm yeah, you can live off starch and water...ever hear of scurvy?
 
2009-05-13 05:44:48 AM  
cK-MidnightFreak: I am hoping the tag was for the fact that they spent that much on pop alone. They are in prison, not club med, they should have to drink water and only water.

Are you crazy? Water is too good for them! They should be only allowed to drink pepper spray, yes, pepper spray and sewage. And what's up with feeding the prisoners every day? That's expensive, and they've committed a crime. A crime! Each prisoner should be given a 2 page leaflet on the basic principle of photosynthesis and can figure the rest out for themselves.

Don't even get me started on the state providing them with FREE oxygen. It's an outrage.
 
2009-05-13 05:49:46 AM  
Screw that, feed those recidivists all the sugary syrupy sweets they can eat and drink. Take away the free weights and basketball and have them watch TV and snack. Cigarettes, too - by the carton. Between a terrible diet and shortness of breath maybe prison violence will go down. Or maybe rapists and murderers will be dropping like flies due to heart attacks.
 
2009-05-13 05:50:19 AM  
Cutting the amount of soda in prisons can only be a good thing. Not only is it a direct savings, the health benefits to the prisoners - reductions in both obesity and tooth decay - will also save money. And, you know, make them healthier.

Soda's pretty evil really. I never buy the stuff for myself.
 
2009-05-13 05:54:18 AM  
KrispyKritter: Screw that, feed those recidivists all the sugary syrupy sweets they can eat and drink. Take away the free weights and basketball and have them watch TV and snack. Cigarettes, too - by the carton. Between a terrible diet and shortness of breath maybe prison violence will go down. Or maybe rapists and murderers will be dropping like flies due to heart attacks.

nymag.com

I've got a proposition for you...
 
2009-05-13 06:00:29 AM  
opiumpoopy: Yay America! You're number 1.

"America has less than 5% of the world's people but almost 25% of its prisoners. It imprisons 756 people per 100,000 residents, a rate nearly five times the world average. About one in every 31 adults is either in prison or on parole. Black men have a one-in-three chance of being imprisoned at some point in their lives." (Link)


Land of the free, indeed.
 
2009-05-13 06:02:50 AM  
I would try to explain how lowered costs/attempts to make prisoner's lives more bleak is offset by the need for more guards/closer monitoring/other effects of a surly community filled with people who aren't fans of authority being made more desperate. But that would probably be fruitless.

So instead I'll just point out that one day the government could decide something you do is a prison-worthy offense. And you should only be given bread and water, you bastard.
 
2009-05-13 06:04:42 AM  
Yes, clearly it's outrageous to spend $1/week/prisoner on coke.

If you're so pissed off about spending tax money on feeding prisoners, how about you make less stuff illegal? Pretty sure most people aren't really in prison for raping and murdering little children.
 
2009-05-13 06:09:24 AM  
Phoenix_M: Bread, water, rice & beans! that should be it. Maybe tortillas for the spicks.

dont forget a bowl of rice for the asians...we have to eat too

/seriously inmates probably eat better than i do
 
2009-05-13 06:14:00 AM  
They want something sweet to drink? How about Kool-Aid. They should be thankful they get that.

Want something else sweet to drink? How about my tears of joy in knowing your ass is behind bars.
 
2009-05-13 06:15:00 AM  
KrispyKritter: Screw that, feed those recidivists all the sugary syrupy sweets they can eat and drink. Take away the free weights and basketball and have them watch TV and snack. Cigarettes, too - by the carton. Between a terrible diet and shortness of breath maybe prison violence will go down. Or maybe rapists and murderers will be dropping like flies due to heart attacks.

I can see two viable solutions. One is yours.

The other is to remove all junk food and sugary snacks. They did that in those "troubled teens" schools and saw a dramatic reduction in disruptive behavior when coupled with good food like fresh vegetables, less processed products, etc. It even cost them less to feed the students a healthy diet than the junk food.

So either stick them on that diet and lower the prison maintenance and food costs (which will fail once they're released and have ready access to junk food galore) or stuff them so full of unhealthy products that they drop dead before they're up for parole/release.

Hell, import shiat from China. Let them eat deep fried contaminated river fish with lead dipping sauce for all I care.
 
2009-05-13 06:16:59 AM  
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Hell, import shiat from China. Let them eat deep fried contaminated river fish with lead dipping sauce for all I care.

Oh stop it. You're making me hungry.
 
2009-05-13 06:17:19 AM  
War on Soft Drinks™ trifecta now in play.
 
2009-05-13 06:18:22 AM  
Soda is really, really bad for your teeth. That, if nothing else, is why they should limit its consumption by inmates. Having bad teeth reduces your prospects for honest employment etc. which is a Bad Thing, and of course, who do you think pays for their dental care while they're in the slammer? We do. Wards of the state should be fed healthy food, not junk. If they want a bit of junk now and then isn't that what the commissary is for?
 
2009-05-13 06:20:33 AM  
OgreMagi: Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Hell, import shiat from China. Let them eat deep fried contaminated river fish with lead dipping sauce for all I care.

Oh stop it. You're making me hungry.


I'm sure there's a McDonald's in your area, they serve something similar.
 
2009-05-13 06:21:58 AM  
cK-MidnightFreak: I am hoping the tag was for the fact that they spent that much on pop alone. They are in prison, not club med, they should have to drink water and only water.

This. Trying to get sodas out of my system. But sugar/caffeine mixed in a cold drink is just soo farking tempting in the mornings..
 
2009-05-13 06:21:59 AM  
No Such Agency: Soda is really, really bad for your teeth. That, if nothing else, is why they should limit its consumption by inmates. Having bad teeth reduces your prospects for honest employment etc. which is a Bad Thing, and of course, who do you think pays for their dental care while they're in the slammer? We do. Wards of the state should be fed healthy food, not junk. If they want a bit of junk now and then isn't that what the commissary is for?

Not in the women's jail. Toothless probably garners higher prices for blowjobs on the street. Which is where they'll end up anyway.

/haven't had coffee
//very snarky at the moment
 
2009-05-13 06:31:19 AM  
No Such Agency: Having bad teeth reduces your prospects for honest employment etc. which is a Bad Thing...

That's why we Brits are all unemployed.

/Thought I'd say that before y'all did.
//toofless
 
2009-05-13 06:32:15 AM  
opiumpoopy: Yay America! You're number 1.

That graph is unfair, and dishonest, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

2 white guys in the back ?!?

oh wait, those are officers, ok carry on

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Toothless probably garners higher prices for blowjobs on the street

never seen a vietnam movie from the 70s ? no it does not increase the price.
 
2009-05-13 06:33:51 AM  
1.Don't go to prison.
2.Drink all the farkin' soda you want.
3.Problem solved.
 
2009-05-13 06:35:01 AM  
backdoor_nut_sucker: //toofless

Im from the REAL deep south (anyone born north of the equator has no business calling themselves a southerner, or "from the south")

... we use TEETHbrushes down there
(toothbrushes are for confederates and toddlers... and lots of Australians, aka, those that live slightly up over down under)
 
2009-05-13 06:36:45 AM  
serialkittenkiller: 1.Don't go to prison.
2.Drink all the farkin' soda you want.
3.Problem solved.


ONE of em, sure
Anyone got any spare "kosher"/"mexican"/"rest of the world" coke available ? HFCS is JUST like sugar right ? no differences right ? I read a new study that said so from the corn industry.
 
2009-05-13 06:41:29 AM  
Save-a-Lot Food Stores ™ (I swear to god those stores are run by prison chain gangs - scary employees, god awful stores) have a generic soft drinks for .15 a can. But I'm sure some prison group would call serving that stuff cruel and unusual punishment.

Why are people in prison being given brand name soft drinks in the first place? Why are they allowed any soft drinks? Many families can't afford Coke or Pepsi for their kids, so why should crims get the good stuff for free? I see nothing wrong with letting them buy Coke or Pepsi in the prison commissary, marked up to 7-11 prices. That would be what, $7 a can? Profit for the prison system.
 
2009-05-13 06:47:20 AM  
I wonder if all these people who are defending what these prisoners are getting would feel the same way if the money didn't come from the public coffers, but from only their own wallets.

Other people's money FTL
 
2009-05-13 06:51:54 AM  
Like anything else with the state they're probably on a contract and can only buy from contract vendors. We wanted a drink machine at work...the cans were 75 cents each. I could walk across the street to the car repair place and pay 50 cents. The contract we had said that we could only have a drink machine from 1 of 2 vendors. I suggested that we buy a drink machine from Sam's and stock it with Sam's cola - we could sell it for 25 cents/can and still make money. Nope, no can do.

Our office supplies are higher from our winning bidder than they are at the bidder's brick and mortar location.
 
2009-05-13 07:03:38 AM  
Jensaarai: I would try to explain how lowered costs/attempts to make prisoner's lives more bleak is offset by the need for more guards/closer monitoring/other effects of a surly community filled with people who aren't fans of authority being made more desperate. But that would probably be fruitless.

So instead I'll just point out that one day the government could decide something you do is a prison-worthy offense. And you should only be given bread and water, you bastard.


I wouldn't necessarily tie the two things together. Sure, maybe they could have a reward system where you earn a soda or get a discount from the canteen. But then people will biatch that's treating people differently and Jimmy Twotimes is now gonna shank you because he's jealous you earned a President's Choice cola and he didn't because he stained his jumpsuit.

As for trivial BS getting you in jail, I'm with you there. Pot, high school sex offender prosecutions, failure to pay child support even though you lost your job, etc.
 
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