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Bi little ponies, Happy Ending Meals and ABBA rebjorn: Headlines of the Week 5/3 - 5/9 
Posted by Drew at 2009-05-11 11:26:22 AM (32 comments) | Permalink
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9035 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2009 at 1:26 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Nothing new to report on media stuff this week, so instead I'll go on for a bit about what I spent this past weekend doing: hanging out in Vegas strip clubs at bachelor parties.

Two of my friends had bachelor parties in Vegas this weekend, which was a completely random yet welcome coincidence. One of the guys I've played soccer with for years, the other was a friend of Alexis Ohanian who founded Reddit.com. Alexis and I have accidentally been ending up in the same place at the same time at least once a month since January this year, and this weekend it happened again. The short version was too much alcohol, lots of fun.

The slightly longer version is I often joke that eventually I'm going to be involved in something that lands me as an article on Fark. It almost happened Thursday night. For years I've been reading articles about people who sue strip clubs because they get injured by the strippers. Thursday night I actually witnessed it. The bachelor was brought up on stage for the requisite boobie-smacking to the face ritual that all bachelors must go through. Initially there were going to be two girls participating but at the last minute someone decided to add a third one. She was nice and hot but also kinda crazy. Crazier than the usual stripper continuum. The third stripper decided she wasn't getting enough face-time (so to speak), so she stood up on the bachelor's lap, shimmied up the pole, flipped upside down, and slid down on him from above - damn near ripping his arms off in the process. Of course it was hilarious. Only later did it occur to me that we were a shoulder-dislocation away from becoming a Fark article.

At any rate that's what I did this weekend. Drank too much, had fun. Pretty much the plan for every weekend now that I think about it.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-05-03 to Sat 2009-05-09:

img1.fark.net  Catholic Church weighs in on genetically modified foods. Lettuce pray    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Little girl finds condom in her Happy Ending Meal    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Young attractive white girl becomes first American to die of Swine flu. In the 24-hour cable news world, this is also known as "the perfect storm"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Sixty-six year-old sealer rescued after spending two nights alone on an ice floe. Plans on going clubbing to celebrate    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Breeder arrested on fraud charges, claims it's alpaca lies    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Who keeps pandemic level at 5. Who did? Yes. Who kept the pandemic level? Yes. No I'm asking you    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Dentist office explodes in Ohio. With pic of the large cavity    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Stockholm police make two giant cocaine busts. Modern art just gets weirder every day    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Swine flu victim in LaGrange is still seriously ill after two weeks. Doctors would like to help her, but don't know a-how-how-how-how    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  High school orders shot glasses to give to students as a prom party favor. Somebody's going to be very madd about this    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Puppy eats alphabet magnets, poops next Dan Brown novel    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  The oldest rivalry in baseball heats up again, and of course we're talking about Amherst vs. Williams - a rivalry that goes back to 1859, or slightly before Jamie Moyer started pitching    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Mets prospect Pagan arrested for traffic violations, will be burned at the stake during the summer solstice    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Sprint Cup driver Jeremy Mayfield suspended indefinitely after failing two drug tests. NASCAR won't say what substance he tested positive for, but considering his record it's safe to say it wasn't speed    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Medical community applauds first double-hand transplant in U.S    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Scientists think warp driven starships may be possible one day, at least until some acting ensign pulls out all the computer chips to play dominos with the engineer    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Experts concerned Nefertiti's bust could be fake, plan hands-on investigation    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Lindsay and Ali Lohan learn to surf. In other news, Pacific Ocean to be treated for gonorrhea    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Surrogate mother pictured carrying Sarah Jessica Parker's twins, said to be an openly bisexual tattooed rocker. Sarah worried she may end up with bi little ponies    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Fawcett about to be turned off    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Gay groups want Obama to pick the first gay Supreme Court Justice. The first "openly" gay justice, that is, so Scalia doesn't count    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Countrywide) is going after shady lending practices. Next up: Ted Kennedy's war on alcoholism    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Obama to give speech regarding Muslim relations. No, not HIS Muslim relations    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Apple caves in and approves NIN app after Trent publically farks them like an animal    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Lenny Kravitz plans to tour England with Jimi Hendrix's guitar, image and anything else he can rip off    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  After fifteen years, it looks like ABBA has been partially rebjorn    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  Bernanke: Economy should grow again later in 2009, but if we experience expansion lasting more than four years, we should consult a doctor    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Citigroup analyst weighs in on which banks need to raise capital after recent stress test, which is kind of like a blind guy telling you your girlfriend is ugly    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Office supply manufacturer Bic erases 88 jobs, folds staple Kansas plant to clip costs, notes workers' dedication and tacks on severance. Pens    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2009-05-11 11:43:37 AM  
Woo hoo! Two weeks in a row with a headline up there.
 
2009-05-11 11:49:15 AM  
i149.photobucket.com
One must limber-up to avoid injury when participating in the `Canadian Ballet'.
 
2009-05-11 11:50:34 AM  
Gotta go with LaGrange.
 
2009-05-11 11:54:30 AM  
No love for this?

Link
 
2009-05-11 11:54:45 AM  
Medical community applauds first double-hand transplant in U.S

Didn't see that...Teh fun-nay is strong with that one.
 
2009-05-11 12:38:24 PM  
TTIUWP
 
2009-05-11 01:31:10 PM  
Came for Lagrange, leaving disappointed.
 
2009-05-11 01:31:32 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-05-11 01:31:34 PM  
A lot of good ones this week.
 
2009-05-11 01:32:06 PM  
I was surprised to see that, not only did my ABBA headline get votes on Saturday, it was on the list...and the freaking blog headline.

And spidermann, I laughed my ass off at that headline and assumed it would be on this list.
 
2009-05-11 01:35:04 PM  
Seven Mason: Came for Lagrange, leaving disappointed.

Try again.
 
2009-05-11 01:38:01 PM  
spidermann: No love for this?

Link


Too long for a T-Shirt.

/anyone else notice this trend?
//Let me make up a T-shirt to explain it better.
 
2009-05-11 01:39:31 PM  
The English Major: I was surprised to see that, not only did my ABBA headline get votes on Saturday, it was on the list...and the freaking blog headline.

And spidermann, I laughed my ass off at that headline and assumed it would be on this list.


I am surprised as well. Yeah, I submitted the damned thing but I have no problem proclaiming that to be a great headline. I am damned proud of that headline.

For those too busy to visit the link here is the headline in question:

♫ Now the man near her back is close to her crack as he raises his hand near her thigh, and the girl who is a crooner is everyone's ruiner, as he grabs her ass and everyone gets mace in their eye ♫
 
2009-05-11 01:42:09 PM  
spidermann

I am surprised as well. Yeah, I submitted the damned thing but I have no problem proclaiming that to be a great headline. I am damned proud of that headline.

For those too busy to visit the link here is the headline in question:

♫ Now the man near her back is close to her crack as he raises his hand near her thigh, and the girl who is a crooner is everyone's ruiner, as he grabs her ass and everyone gets mace in their eye ♫


...and you've got that damned song in my head once again. Bravo, sir, bravo.
 
2009-05-11 01:42:30 PM  
StoneG: spidermann: No love for this?

Link

Too long for a T-Shirt.

/anyone else notice this trend?
//Let me make up a T-shirt to explain it better.


Then why not make the amount of available characters lowered to tshirt allowable size for headlines?

If that is a criteria (not saying it is, and Drew can run his site how he wishes) for HotW or HotY then why allow the bias to be?
 
2009-05-11 01:43:42 PM  
Awe what happened to hitler not being able to finish a race, or was that last week?
 
2009-05-11 02:02:15 PM  
First time with a headline up there... woo hoo
 
2009-05-11 02:07:26 PM  
Think you know your little ponies? Try this Link (new window)
 
2009-05-11 02:25:23 PM  
So, "headlines of the week" isn't a best-of or anything? It's literally a list of ALL the headlines from the week?
 
2009-05-11 02:27:08 PM  
subby: ... Pens

Bwahahahahaha

::Gasp::

ahahahahahahaha

/well played
 
2009-05-11 03:10:37 PM  
serial_crusher: So, "headlines of the week" isn't a best-of or anything? It's literally a list of ALL the headlines from the week?

It's another opportunity to pimp some t-shirts.
 
2009-05-11 04:13:17 PM  
Because People in power are Stupid

i38.photobucket.com
 
2009-05-11 04:16:42 PM  
PICTURE OF THE DAY ^^^
 
2009-05-11 05:43:44 PM  
Woo hoo!!! My first headline of the week! Thank you Jeremy Mayfield, you drugged up bastard!
 
2009-05-11 06:42:55 PM  
spidermann: Then why not make the amount of available characters lowered to tshirt allowable size for headlines? If that is a criteria (not saying it is, and Drew can run his site how he wishes) for HotW or HotY then why allow the bias to be?

There is no "t-shirt bias" in the headline length considered for headlines of the week or the headline of the year contest. Last year, all of the headlines were vetted by TFers and voted on by the Fark community.

My guess is that shorter headlines do better because fewer words don't muddle the joke, and Fark's best headline writers learn how to boil down the headline into the fewest words for maximum effect.

To the best of my knowledge, allowed headline length has always been the same, and there aren't plans to change it. When the T-shirt thing came along, the company had a limit as to how many characters they could fit onto a shirt based on their own equipment, which is why there's a validation box to see if a shirt can accommodate a headline.
 
2009-05-11 07:56:06 PM  
Crazy Joe Davola: subby: ... Pens

Bwahahahahaha

::Gasp::

ahahahahahahaha

/well played


thanks - was redlit for two days before coming back to life suddenly. I gotta say, along the lines of spidermann, I'm pretty damned proud of that one.
 
2009-05-12 12:37:13 AM  
Unfreakable: spidermann: Then why not make the amount of available characters lowered to tshirt allowable size for headlines? If that is a criteria (not saying it is, and Drew can run his site how he wishes) for HotW or HotY then why allow the bias to be?

There is no "t-shirt bias" in the headline length considered for headlines of the week or the headline of the year contest. Last year, all of the headlines were vetted by TFers and voted on by the Fark community.

My guess is that shorter headlines do better because fewer words don't muddle the joke, and Fark's best headline writers learn how to boil down the headline into the fewest words for maximum effect.

To the best of my knowledge, allowed headline length has always been the same, and there aren't plans to change it. When the T-shirt thing came along, the company had a limit as to how many characters they could fit onto a shirt based on their own equipment, which is why there's a validation box to see if a shirt can accommodate a headline.


Like I had stated I was not saying it was a criteria. I was responding to the original comment about it in a questionable way (asking a question about the proposed bias, and why if that was the case wasn't the headline length shortened). The rest of the sentence was just conjecture of what could/should happen if that was the case as it would be a logical next step in the process, at least in my mind.

I think next time I will make the intent of a post like that clearer for the sake of all involved.

I am not angered or raged about my headline not being included. I do think it was one of my best headlines out of the 100+ I have had go green and yes I do believe it should have been on this list and will pimp it again at the end of the year for possible inclusion in the HotY contest because I do believe in the strength of the headline, lengthy or not.
 
2009-05-12 01:09:54 AM  
I missed the bi little ponies one. Well played to whoever came up with that, it's a beaut!
 
2009-05-12 01:05:35 PM  
Did not mean to sound upset or anything, but I seem to hear a new conspiracy theory every week, so my antenna is probably a bit sensitive to it.
 
2009-05-12 01:44:33 PM  
dstanley: Seven Mason: Came for Lagrange, leaving disappointed.

Try again.


Woo!
 
2009-05-12 05:37:11 PM  
Dancin_In_Anson: Medical community applauds first double-hand transplant in U.S

Didn't see that...Teh fun-nay is strong with that one.


he deserves an extra hand for that one.
 
2009-05-13 01:55:59 PM  
Unfreakable: Did not mean to sound upset or anything, but I seem to hear a new conspiracy theory every week, so my antenna is probably a bit sensitive to it.

Understandable. :)
 
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