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(The Star)   Motorcyclist dies after hitting monkey   (thestar.com.my) divider line 98
    More: Scary  
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11542 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2003 at 2:37 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-02-12 02:38:40 PM
Damn monkey butlers!
 
2003-02-12 02:39:49 PM
...in other news, the banana escaped unharmed.
 
2003-02-12 02:40:39 PM
the article wouldn't show up!! is the monkey ok???
 
2003-02-12 02:40:43 PM
...gosh I'd like to actually read the article.
Seeing as it's my home city and I ride. Site farked?
 
2003-02-12 02:41:23 PM
"hitting" equals "spanking" surely?
 
2003-02-12 02:42:02 PM
Oh my God...that poor monkey!
 
2003-02-12 02:42:08 PM
Wow, there really is no limit to the amount of ways to die. Who woulda thunk you could hit a MONKEY on a motorcycle and die.
 
2003-02-12 02:43:01 PM
Wait... one... minute... This monkey was thrown!
You mean?
Yes, murder...
*dramatic music*
 
2003-02-12 02:43:05 PM
I'd hit it.

(sorry)
 
2003-02-12 02:43:20 PM
In the worlds before Monkey, primal chaos reigned..
 
2003-02-12 02:43:28 PM
I survived a motorcycle accident where I hit a deer at over 100 MPH. I slid, bounced and flew for about 150 feet. Only broke my nose. Sucked big time. Tore my pants off and my helmet. Luckily I was wearing two scarves and had an extra jacket tucked inside by my chest. I was still picking gravel out of my head and legs for months afterwards.
 
2003-02-12 02:44:16 PM
Well, obviously we have to outlaw monkeys IMMEDIATELY, even though it flies in the face of the sensibilities of a democracy.

Remember: When monkeys are outlawed, only outlaws will have monkeys.

And monkey feces.
 
2003-02-12 02:44:29 PM
One less monkey butler to do my bidding :(
 
2003-02-12 02:44:32 PM
Every monkey for 200 miles thinks he's elvis presley.
 
2003-02-12 02:44:57 PM
Was it Mark Walburg? Cause that would be ironic.
 
2003-02-12 02:46:18 PM
George, George, George of the jungle....watch out for that idiot on the motorcycle that probably wasn't wearing a helmut. It's gotta nice ring to it...
 
2003-02-12 02:46:30 PM
Monkeys is the crrrrraaziest peoples.
 
2003-02-12 02:46:43 PM
One of the worst close-calls I've ever had in 23 years of motorcycling was what I like to call the "Possum Shower."

I'm in Durham, NC, at about 10:30 p.m., mid-December 1997. I'm on my brand new GSX-R 600, on a back road, in full leathers and a helmet. Rolling along at about 55 m.p.h. or so, and semi-drafting off of a big SUV about 5-10 yards back so that I'm not getting a huge windblast. Anyway...I'm totally minding my own business, not goofing around or weaving or whatever...just enjoying a nice evening ride. All of a sudden, the SUV flashes its brake lights, swerves, and I see this spray of gunk flying at me, and an object that looks like a small dog goes flying right past me. At this point (2-3 seconds later), I, and my bike, are covered in a bunch of crap, and I pull over. I suddenly realize that the SUV clobbered a possum, and the crap all over me is the blood/guts/etc from the Possum. Ergo...Possum Shower. One of the most vile incidents of my entire life. I'm just glad I had the face shield on my helmet down.
 
2003-02-12 02:47:49 PM
I'll bet that really shocked the monkey.

Cover me, when I run.

/Peter Gabriel
 
2003-02-12 02:48:02 PM
I don't know about you people... But I ALWAYS keep a look out for crossing monkeys.
 
2003-02-12 02:48:29 PM
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY...GAMMERA!!!


Oops, wrong thread.
 
2003-02-12 02:48:32 PM
. . . She touched my monkey . . .



. . . She touched my monkey and died . . .

OH THE HUMANITY!
 
2003-02-12 02:49:27 PM
Well, yeah. Hitting your monkey makes you go blind. And we all know that Blind + Motorcycle = Kaplow.
 
2003-02-12 02:49:30 PM
hmmmmm, roadkill
 
2003-02-12 02:49:32 PM
Bump..... lol.

"Never send a monkey to do a man's job"
 
2003-02-12 02:50:23 PM
everyone knows you should never fap and ride at the same time...
 
2003-02-12 02:51:27 PM
I'd post a picture of the 'Death by Monkies' battlebot, but i'm really tired and my html sucks big time.
 
2003-02-12 02:51:51 PM
You see, you never, ever "hit" a monkey. You only spank it lightly with your hand. Else you might have a similar fate.
 
2003-02-12 02:51:56 PM
Monkey butler in question:
 
2003-02-12 02:53:52 PM
Cheeky Monkey
 
2003-02-12 02:54:39 PM
 
2003-02-12 02:56:27 PM
Billions for space exploration and STILL we have monkeys in the streets! What am I paying my taxes for?
 
2003-02-12 02:57:38 PM
The butler did it.
 
2003-02-12 02:57:53 PM
What a tragedy. The monkey would have had more of a chance in a monkey knife fight like Furious George.
 
2003-02-12 02:57:53 PM
killer monkey tossers at large? Whats this world coming too!!! At least it wasn'ta manatee though, then PETA would have beaten the guys remains with a hammer.
 
2003-02-12 02:58:40 PM
Moral of the story: Never ride pillion. Riding pillion? What the heck?
 
2003-02-12 02:59:39 PM
Thanks Phrenile.
 
2003-02-12 03:01:09 PM
QUICK! GET HER ORGANS!
 
2003-02-12 03:01:18 PM
That's a bad monkey. That monkey needs to be spanked. I volunteer!

*fapfapfapfapfapfapfap*
 
2003-02-12 03:01:45 PM
The monkey aint no joke. Y'say y' wanna mess with the coke? Boy oh boy, the monkey aint no joke.
 
2003-02-12 03:01:54 PM
I hate it when that happens.
 
2003-02-12 03:03:09 PM
I'm with Whelmed ,

WTF is riding "pillion"?
 
2003-02-12 03:03:31 PM
Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.
 
2003-02-12 03:03:54 PM
holy crap i just wrote a short story about a monkey that got hit by a car driven by an angry old ninja master. wacky hijinx ensued after the monkey sued the man and offended his honor. the monkey ended up in a tree with his wheelchair balancing on a branch. the ninja was really crafty in scaring him but never hurt him. it was a love hate relationship. i think itd make a good idea for a movie so if i see a movie about it im going to get a big piece of the pie. ::]
 
2003-02-12 03:04:57 PM
hard to ride a motorbike one-handed

.

if you know what I mean.
 
buz
2003-02-12 03:05:02 PM
Monkey-smacker.....

Closest call I've ever had, was Bambi running NEXT to me for ~20 yards (it was a LOOONG time to be terrified!) She came out, the ran RIGHT alongside of my bike (30 mph-ish)

....talk about mining seat-foam with your rear-end.....
--Bikin' Buz...
 
2003-02-12 03:05:49 PM
Jeez, I'm so stupid. That's what a dictionary is for, I guess.

Definition: Pillion = passenger seating

Dumbass.
 
2003-02-12 03:06:28 PM
She likes to feed the monkey.
 
2003-02-12 03:07:08 PM
Riding pillion is the term for riding on the rear (passenger) portion of the motorcycle's saddle.
 
2003-02-12 03:07:54 PM
Poor monkey. I wonder if it tastes like chicken....
 
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